83Waking up to the kids bickering over what to cook and who would do what, puts a big smile on my face. I had been anxious ever since I heard Jake and Seth discussing about going to see Leah. Not only does Seth want to go but Sue as well. Don't get me wrong, I understand the need for closure and the desire to be guilt free, but I honestly believe that Leah has too much residual hate in her heart for both Sue and Seth that it won't be a good situation to place themselves in. However, Sue and Seth have similar personalities which necessitates them to forgive someone completely before they can have a clear enough conscious to live their lives. That's part of the reason it took Sue so long to move on with her life after Harry passed away. She needed to know that not only Harry would have approved but that Leah and Seth would be okay with her trying to be happy with someone who's not their father. However, when Seth left abruptly, Sue began to blame herself because she didn't know the real reason he left and despite his reassurance to Sue that he was happy for her and wanted her to start living her life with Charlie, she still hesitated. I am just worried that the vitriol Leah spits out to them both will have them hurting more in the end then not seeing her again.
They need to see that she hates both of them now. Seth for always having my heart and being my soulmate and the bearer of my children, and Sue for supporting us once the truth came out and loving our children despite the fact that I cheated on Leah with Seth. To Leah, Seth and our children are the reason all her plans failed because they represent the obstacles that she have to overcome to get to me but she didn't succeed. I'm sort of upset that he wants to have them come along to try and establish a relationship with her because she's their aunt. However, I've yet to say anything because I understand why he needs this and that no matter what's she's done he still loves her and needs to be able to say that he tried everything to mend their sibling bond. Sadly, I believe that the kids will say no to this and Seth will be hurt but then again they might not and go along with it because they know what it will mean for him if they are all there.
Trying to silently get out of bed, I feel Seth tighten his arms around me. Realizing it would be a fruitless endeavor to try and move now, I settle for enjoying this morning and possibly enjoying couple time. I begin to rub my hands all over Seth, the places I can reach anyways, and caress them softly yet firmly. Working my way down, Seth squirms as I circle but don't penetrate his entrance. Moaning can be heard as he slowly begins to come to, which urges me to continue. Slowly I prepare him and when he signals he is ready I fully enjoy his tight heat.
"We gotta clean, up. The kids are here and are planning to make us breakfast."
Walking into the bathroom, we step into our walk in shower and stand under the separate showerheads.
"There's something bothering you. I noticed it's been on your mind since I mentioned the trip to see Leah."
"I'm just worried about her comments or how her hatred will affect you. I love you and I don't want her to hurt you. Then you mention the kids going with us to see her thinking that with them being there, it will be a good or positive thing, Seth, but we both know she hates them as much, if not more than anyone else. They are a representation of our love and how you are my forever, not her. So do you see what I am fearful of?"
"Sam you make it seem like she's pure evil." Seth replies irritated. I snort in response which gets me the mean eyes from him.
"She's just misguided and I have to try. I can't believe that she's completely lost to us. I feel like the time she has spent away from us has to have been helpful. Please trust me. I won't let them get hurt besides we won't be alone. You, Jake, Charlie, and Paul will all be there, plus the kids can defend themselves if push comes to shove. She will remain in her cell and won't be able to hurt us."
His pleading eyes swayed me to nod my head in agreeance.
"Okay I will trust in you to keep not only our children, but yourself, safe. I know you and Sue need this."
Hugging one another we separate to soap up and quickly wash off before the kids bombard us to join them for breakfast. Stepping out we both get dressed for the day.
Seth looks delicious in a suit. How I wish I could take off each item slowly exposing his hidden areas and plant gentle kisses as I do. Just as I was plotting my next move, Seth interrupts my thought process.
"Uh-uh, we have to go downstairs. Save that for later." He winks at me as he walks out the door.
I finish getting dressed and follow shortly after Seth. Making it downstairs, I enter the kitchen to see the kids trying to stop Seth from helping in anyway.
Once breakfast is finished, Seth clears his throat to inform everyone about our weekend plans. As expected the uproar is instantaneous.
"Hey guys, shut up. Try and understand why daddy needs this please."
"Why? She's an evil bitch who tried to kill us." Henry states.
"She almost killed dad." Sophia tags on.
"Enough. She's not evil or a bitch and I need you all there with me." Seth states in frustration.
Seth leaves out the house and the kids stop talking and watch him.
"You guys have to understand he just wants our support because no matter what we believe about her, she is still your dad's sister and your grandma's daughter. They need closure. They need to say sorry. So please just go along with it and be understanding. Give your dad the night and show up tomorrow ready to go."
After locking up behind the kids and heading to the garage, I head to work.
Seth POV
After yesterday, I am not sure if I am strong enough to do this. But I know I have to try. So waking up this morning, I shower and get dressed and pack up the car for the trip. Now all that's left to do is wait for everyone else. Sam walks out with his luggage and slides it next to mine in the trunk. Glancing across the street, I see Paul packing the car up as well. Finally, the kids pull up consecutively and we are ready to go get mom and Charlie.
Our caravan is all set to head onto the highway towards our sister tribe.
Seven hours later, we are pulling up into our hotel. Nothing is really said as we check in and head to bed. Anxiety sets in as I change into my pjs and slide under the covers. Shutting my eyes I fall into a fitful sleep.
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Awoken to screaming, I shoot up in bed trying to determine the origin of it.
"Seth, what's wrong. Why are you screaming?"
I close my mouth and shake as if to clear my head.
"I can't remember."
Recognizing that it's 4:30 am and that we are meant to be waking up in 30 minutes, I just get out of bed and head to the shower.
Once we are all prepared to head to the reservation, I ride with Sam, Jake, and my mom. The rest will join us tomorrow if all goes well today. Arriving there however proves me wrong.
"I don't care! I don't want to see any of them! Unless they tell me that that useless cunt of a mother and a whore of brother have both died along with his abominations, I don't want anything to do with them! They can't use me to clear their conscious."
Mom begins to cry and so do I. I can't believe she hates that much. I still decide to walk past everyone.
"Stop this Leah! It's not you! Why are you so bitter? Why would you want someone who doesn't want you! Father would be so disappointed, I'm sure he is rolling over in his grave at your despicable behavior! I just want my sister back!"
"She no longer exists. This is me now. Stop trying to make yourself feel better. I'm not going to pretend that I am happy."
With that she turns her back on me and signals the guard who comes in to take her back to her cell.
"I'm sorry, Leah. I failed you." My mother whispers and she continues to lean on Sam for support.
"No, mom. That's not Leah. It can't be. We can't give up."
"Seth, maybe we need to let her go and if she's ready to return to us and try she will."
Heading back to the hotel, I enter the room and write a letter to Leah. I express my feelings, thoughts, and sincere apologies about that has transpired.
I do not wish for this to absolve my guilt for my part in all of this, however, I hope in time you find it in you to forgive. You don't have to be around us but forgive us for yourself.
Love Always,
Seth
After finishing the letter, I head over to the tribe and give it to the guard, who states that he will give it to her when he can.
I may not be able to bond with Leah again or repair what has been broken, but I can say that I made an effort to try. That's all anybody should be asked of. I know that I cannot let it continue to eat away at me or my life. Let go and let God as they say.