My first smutty fanfic, would really appreciate you feedback on what you liked or what could be improved.

I missed him. I couldn't believe how much I did. Seeing him with someone else, with her, made me physically ill. I felt like he knew all to well how to play at my heart strings. I shouldn't be so in love with him, I was the one that turned him down, but I regretted it as soon as he made it clear he was done. I knew I was wrong to shut the door on us so many times, but I liked the chase I guess. Barney being in love with me gave me adrenaline like nothing else. I got nervous at the mention of his name, I got butterflies when he walked in the room, I got hot when he sat to close.

I loved sitting beside him in MacLaren's. His scent intoxicated my senses making me want him more and more with every breath. He'd often sit next to me, but when he did he sat to close. My thigh rubbing against his, our arms almost connected. Sometimes I thought he did it to tease me, to try and show me everything I was missing out on, everything he could've given me.

"So, who's got an awesome Christmas party tonight? THIS GUY!" Ted said as he came into the bar and sat at our table, beside me making it so Barney had to sit on the other side, damn.

"Yeah, uh, about that, I don't think I can go." I didn't want to go was more like it.

"Oh come on Robin it's Christmas eve." Barney said.

"It's just, I haven't been feeling all that up to doing anything lately." I replied, not wanting to imply it was due to the fact I was the only single person in our whole group. Even Ted had a date.

"Please Robin, I really want you there." Barney pleaded.

"Fine." I had the hardest time saying no to him. He knew me to well, and I him. "I gotta go get ready then."

I slid out of the booth and walked outside to hail a taxi. At my apartment I searched frantically through my clothes, looking for something that would make Barney's pants tighten. Quickly. In the back of my closet hung an old dress of mine I'd never had the guts to wear. It was a dark red, low back, halter. I clearly couldn't wear a bra with it. It was the perfect dress. Next I debated on whether or not I should wear underwear, I still had Barney's favourite pair from back when we were dating stuffed somewhere in my drawer. Once I'd found them, I headed to shower.

The hot water ran across my skin, almost burning. My fingers glided through my hair as I put my shampoo through it. As I began washing myself, I couldn't help but let my mind wander, whenever I did this he was the first thing that came to mind. Why did he do this to me? When did I become the kind of girl who could fall so hard over a guy. Barney Stinson for that matter. I wanted him anywhere in anyway possible. The things I was willing to do for him disgusted even myself but I'm sure would please him.

I stepped out and began to dry myself, then my hair, which I ended up tying back into a tight bun. I began applying my make up but making it appear I was wearing none. When I was done, I checked the time, it was only 7:30, I still had an hour left before I had to leave. I began hunting through my bedside table for condoms, then laughed at myself for thinking, if I did get Barney tonight, he wouldn't have one on him. He had condoms on him like they were spare change.

My phone vibrated on the table. I raced over and check the message. It was from Patrice. She was saying how excited she was to see me at the party tonight. I almost smashed it against the wall. Another messaged stopped me. This one was from Barney, he asked me if I could bring over some wine to Ted's. I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I phoned him as I did.

"Hey, what kind of wine do you want me to get?" I hoped into a cab and gave the guy (who, unfortunately was not Ranjit) directions.

"You couldn't text me?" He answered.

"Sorry, are you in the middle of something?"

"No, it's fine, uh, get any, I don't think it really matters." This was the most pointless conversation and yet I didn't want to hang up. "Robin? You still there?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'll be there in ten, I'm just around the corner." The liquor store was a block away from Ted's, why wouldn't one of them just get it?

"Alright, see you then." He hung up. I jumped out of the cab and picked out a wine as fast as I could, hoping to beat Patrice there, I knew Barney had gone over early to chill with Ted so she'd be coming solo.

I ended up buying three bottles, two for the party, one for me. I guess that was my date for the evening. I walked into Ted's apartment without knocking, him and Barney sat on the couch watching some old NHL game since the fuckers were still in lockout. Yet another reason why I hated this winter.

"Hey!" Barney leapt up from the couch as soon as I walked in. "Let me take those.:

"Not this one, he's my plus one." I gripped my bottle tightly, looking like an alcoholic.

"Uh, ok." He chuckled. He grabbed the other two bottles, his hand gliding across mine as he did making shivers go up my spine. "You okay"

I just nodded. I wasn't okay. I was alone, and the love of my life (wow did I really just say that?) was currently taken by my arch enemy, Satan's mistress, Patrice.

"Knock, knock." A female voice spoke from the door. I was Jenny, Ted's girlfriend, was she his girlfriend? They'd been on like two dates so probably more of his fiancée.

"Hey babe!" Ted called out.

"Hey, I have some stuff back at my apartment I was gonna bring but I couldn't fit it all in my bag, you mind coming over and helping me?" Jenny asked. Ted jumped up from the couch and out the door. She didn't even have a bag on her, she just wanted to get some. I did too so I wasn't really one to judge.

"Oh Teddy boy," Barney sighed.

"It's better than Marshall and Lily's code words, at least they have a plot." I replied.

"We were never that bad, we just had to look at each other."

"Or say we were taking a decoupage class."

"Do you even know what decoupage is?"

"If it's what we were doing it was a fun class to take."

"We did have really fun decoupage classes."

"I'd take it again."

"Since when? I thought you were done with us."

"If I recall correctly that's what you said."

"Maybe that's because every time I made a move on you, you said no."

"Not every time."

"When have you not turned me down?"

"If you were to try something now I wouldn't say no."

"Oh, really?" He set down the wine bottles. I set down mine. I walked over to him, and he walked over to me. It was really gonna happen, I got hot, really hot. I wanted him. His hand grabbed the back of my head aggressively and went in to kiss me.

"Hi!" Suddenly, the place I wanted to be the most was a shooting range.

"Hey Patrice!" Barney grinned and released my head, walked over to his girlfriend and kissed her on the cheek.

Within the next twenty minutes, guests piled into Ted's apartment, including Jenny and Ted who were almost to happy to be there. Patrice stood beside me, patting me on the shoulder every fucking minute trying to get me to talk to her. I just kept pointing to my throat as though it were sore.

"Patrice, can I talk to you outside for a second?" Barney asked.

"Sure babe." When she called him babe my hand curled into a fist.

Barney and Patrice walked out but only Barney re-entered. I walked over to him.

"Where's Patrice?" I questioned, trying hard not to smile as I did.

"Dinner is served!" Ted called out.

I sat across from Barney at the table. I stared at him as he talked about his annual Laser Tag convention to the group Ted had invited. He was so passionate about it, it was sexy. His began gesturing shots he'd done which made me want to leap across the table. Ted steered the conversation towards his GNB building which was still being built. Barney sighed and looked at me, catching me staring. I felt his foot begin to graze my calves. I shivered. He laughed. His leg slowly worked its way up, nearing my inner thigh. I smacked it down, he liked playing cat and mouse.

He lowered his leg, letting me make the next move. My foot gently grazed his pants, slowly rising up, making him do the same. I could tell by the look on his face which I'd seen a million times but never grew bored of. He shot a look at me, I grinned at him and stretched my foot as far as it would go. He let out a small yelp, which he covered with a cough.

After dinner, Patrice came back through the door, making all of what I accomplished throughout dinner wash away. She hugged Barney, he hugged her back, looking at me with sympathetic eyes as he did. My eyes watered. I was sure when they'd gone out in the hall they'd broken up. I stormed up the stairs, my bottle of wine in hand and locked myself in the bathroom.

I drank, I cried, I repeated. I sat in the bathtub,, my shoes on the floor . There was a knock on the door.

"Occupoto!" I yelled, trying my best not to sound like I'd finished watching a Nicholas Sparks film.

"Robin let me in." Barney demanded. I had so little willpower left.

"No." I said, not putting enough effort to sound convincing..

"Babe, c'mon." He called me babe, I was a goner. I got up from the tub, placing the bottle on the ground and trying my best to look half decent.

"What?" I opened the door. He pushed his way in, I shut the door behind him.

"Why now!?" He shouted, he began pacing.

"Why now what?" I asked.

"Why now are you okay with me making a move? Not when we're both single, but when I'm with someone."

"Okay, I suck at timing, we both do though, that's why we're so great together."

"I can't do this with you anymore Robin! You make me feel like we have a shot, and I take a chance and you shoot me down, I can't take anymore rejection, not from you, it hurts to much."

"It hurts seeing you with her Barney! That's what hurts!"

"I'm only with her because I wanted to get you back and I ran out of ideas, I've done so much to try and win you back, this was my hail mary, and it seemed to have worked well." He walked over to me, slowly, like I was a deer and he was a hunter. My hand reached up and stroked his face. Both his hands rested on my hips, making my heart begin to race.

"I want you. I really, really, want you." I whispered.

His hand slowly moved away from my hips and towards my back, more so on my tailbone. His hand dipped into my dress and squeezed my ass. His favourite move. He dove into me, our mouths connecting. His tongue searched around my mouth as if looking for something. I did the same with his, moaning as I did. He gripped my ass tighter, his other arm bringing itself up to cradle my neck. Both my arms were around his. He pulled away and kissed me over and over again, short passionate kissing that made me begin to throb.

He began kissing my neck, making my head fall back onto his arm. I moaned as he did, which he seemed to enjoy. I could feel his teeth biting me softly which made me need him more than I had before. He slowly returned to my mouth and then broke away. He fished around his pockets for some "spare change."

I grinned. My hands his coat, throwing it off so quickly I didn't even see it happen myself. Next I began unbuttoning his shirt. By this time, he had begun kissing my neck again so it was more of a challenge which I happily accepted. Finally, the only thing that was left were his swollen pants. The undid his belt and through them down, he'd been going commando.

I forgot how big he was. By far bigger than Nick. It made me wet, he could tell. Both his hands went on my shoulders and through down my dress. So happy I wasn't wearing a bra. He smirked as he looked at my thong which he seemed to play inside of forever. I began moaning louder which seemed to amuse him. He teased me, I needed him now.

He through down my thong which I was quick to step out of. He stood up and began kissing me passionately, leading me into the shower. He turned on the taps, showering us in hot water. I stood facing him, my back against the water. He kissed me so lovingly I had a hard time believing this was actually happening.

His hand began in the middle of my back and slowly lowered itself down and towards my front. He began playing with clit, making me hot, making me yearn for him to be inside of me. He obliged, using his two fingers to fill me. I yelped. He laughed. His fingers played inside of me, bringing them in and out slowly, making me begin to pant. His fingers left me and he began playing with my clit once again. I couldn't' take it anymore.

"Dammit Barney!" I panted.

He did. I was in bliss. I groaned as he pulled out and then dove back in. he pushed me against the wall and began going faster and faster. I couldn't even take it anymore. He knew what to do to me.

"Oh god Barney!" I yelled.

"You like that?" He panted. I nodded.

He began to pace himself, slowly going in and out, pushing me against the bathroom wall. It felt so good, I never wanted him to stop. As the pace decreased I began to need more. He sensed this and began going faster, making me come. He smiled, I could almost hear him self-fiving himself in his head.

"Robin, you okay? Are you taking a shower?" Ted banged on the door. I was gonna kill him.

"Yeah, sorry I should've asked first, I just, uh, wanted to try your new shower head." Barney looked at me like 'what the fuck did you just say?'

"Ladies love the shower head. And it's cool, you haven't seen Barney have you?"

""Nope, not since dinner."

"Ok, well, everyone's basically gone home, Jenny asked if I could help clean her apartment tonight so I won't be back until tomorrow, if I leave a key in the kitchen, you mind locking up?"

"No, it's fine, I don't mind."

"Thanks Robin." Ted said. I heard him jog down the stairs and out the door.

"You hear that? We got the whole place to ourselves." Barney smiled.