A/N: 'Sup, guys! I'm taking a break from my other stories to bring you
this Christmas fanfic. This will include plenty of random humor that
will hopefully entertain you all. Enjoy!
It was just an average day at the Smash Mansion. Well, not really.
Christmas was coming, and both Master Hand and Crazy Hand had left to
attend a meeting. The Smashers, wanting to suprise the Hands, decided
against their smarter frame of mind to set up all the Christmas
decorations while they were gone. The first thing they needed was a
Christmas tree, and Link, Marth, and Meta Knight had opted to retrieve
it. Lets see how thats going, shall we?
"Wouldn't it just be easier to buy a tree?" Link asked as he sat in
the passenger seat of Marth's truck. Marth, of course, was driving
while Meta Knight sat in the back seat.
"Pff, thats the easy way of doing it. Now which way was the Kokiri
Forest?" Marth asked as he made a turn out from Hyrule field.
"Right across that bridge." Link replied, motioning to a bridge that
laid alongside a waterfall. Marth nodded and wheeled his truck across
the bridge, as it strained under the weight of the massive vehicle.
Unfortunately, the moment they reached the other side of the bridge,
it collapsed to the ground.
"Er... how are we going to get back?" Meta Knight asked as he peered
out the truck's back window.
"Meh, we'll worry about that later." Marth answered as he shifted to
four-wheel drive and shot his truck forward at 60 mph. He ignored the
curses and swears coming from the angry Kokiri as he slammed through
the houses to reach the entrance of the Lost Woods.
"We're here!" Marth exclaimed as he hopped out of the truck. Link and
Meta Knight followed shortly after.
"Okay, I'll lead the way." Link said as he and his two comrades
marched into the Lost Woods. After about five seconds, Meta Knight
turned back to face their vehicle.
"Um... where's the truck?" he asked.
"Oh crud, WE'RE LOST!" Marth shouted.
"Relax, Marth." Link tried to assure him. "The one way to never get
lost in these woods is to listen to the music Saria plays. It should
guide us safely through the forest."
"Uh, Link. Its snowing, and freezing. You think a young Kokiri girl
would be playing music in this kind of weather?" Meta Knight asked,
now frusterated that they were lost.
"Heh, no worries." Link answered. "I memorized the order to go through
the lost woods. The directions are Right, Left, Right, Left, Up, Left,
Right, or maybe its the other way around..."
"Wait, that's how you get to the forest temple!" Marth exclaimed. "We
just need to chop down a tree, right?" and with that, he then lead the
group in search of the right kind of tree. Unfortunately, he made the
dreaded mistake that no one should ever do: He took the first left
They walked through a small wooden tunnel and emerged in a small
opening in the forest. This opening was surrounded by tree's, but
contained two stumps and a recently grown pine tree.
"Ah, there we are!" Marth exclaimed happily. He then took his sword
out and approached the tree.
"IYAAAAAAAHHH!" a Skull Child shouted as it launched off of an
overhanging branch and tackled Marth.
"Oops, I forgot to tell you guys that Skull Kids live here." Link
announced with a nervous chuckle.
Marth was trying to pry the kid off of him when it started beating him
with a giant cedar branch.
"Omigoshthisthing'sinsanegetitoffme!" Marth shouted. Meta Knight
rushed forward to save his friend and took his golden blade out.
He was about to attack, when suddenly the Skull Kid turned around and
blasted him with several Deku Seeds.
"Ow..." Meta Knight said as calmely as possible, while the seeds
continued to pelt off his mask, scratching the silvery metal.
While the Skull Kid was distracted with pummeling Meta Knight with
Deku Seeds, Link rushed forward and sliced the demented kid-thing,
causing it to disappear in smoke (which happens in every Zelda game,
almost). A large, yellow rupee flew out from where the Skull Kid once
"Ooh, that's mine!" Link shouted as he picked it up.
"Wait, didn't I provide a distraction?" Meta Knight asked. "That
should be MY yellow rupee!"
"Pff, you couldn't even carry it." Link retorted. "See here? I've got
a Giant's Wallet, it can fit up to... I think 500 Rupees!" he then
showed his comrade's a huge bag meant for storing rupees.
"I can carry it!" Meta Knight shouted angrily. He then grabbed the rupee.
Dun Dun DUUUUUUNNN!
*You got a Yellow Rupee! That's 400 Rupees!*
Meta Knight smirked as he stuffed the gem in his pocket, before
turning to Marth.
"What do we do now?" he asked.
"We cut down the tree! DUH!" Marth replied in frusteration. The three
of them then slashed at the pine tree with their weapons until it fell
"Alright, lets load it in!" Link said triumphantly. They proceeded to
pick the tree up, until a chilling screech was heard. That was about
when they all paled and dropped the tree, which landed on Meta
Knight's foot."YEOOOOOOOOOWWW!" Meta Knight cried out in pain. He swore under his
breath and pushed the tree over and off of his foot.
"YEEEEOOOOOOOWWWW!" Link shouted painfully as the tree rolled on
to his foot. He pushed it back, and Meta Knight stepped out of the way,
saving his foot. After recovering, they realized that they were
surrounded by dozens of angry Kokiri.
"You chopped down our tree, and cannot take it from the forest!" one
growled. "If you refuse, we will be happy to beat the life out of
Link gulped. "Um... may we PLEASE take the tree?" he asked in his most
The Kokiri thought for a moment before answering with a smile. "Well,
since you asked so politely, I guess we can-"
"GIVE US THE TREE, OR DIE!" Meta Knight shouted angrily.
The Kokiri growled and began attacking fiercely.
"LINK, TAKE THE TREE AND USE YOUR OCARINA TO WARP YOURSELF BACK TO THE
SMASH MANSION!" Marth shouted, wanting to save the tree. Link nodded
and ran over to the tree, dodging Deku Seeds, being thrown from
ticked-off Kokiri, and pulled out his ocarina.
"Okaaay... which song do I play again?" he asked himself. He thought
for a minute, trying to remember which one he created to teleport him
back to the mansion. He decided to play the first random song that
popped into his head.
Marth and Meta Knight hacked violently through the waves of Kokiri,
trying to get to the truck. Suddenly, lightning flashed and rain began
"Oh, sorry, that was the Song of Storms." Link admitted as his face
turned red. Why couldn't he remember the song?
After another moment of thought, he decided to play the SSBB Main
Theme, and, luckily, it was the correct one, as he and the tree were
instantly transported to the Smash Mansion.
"Good, the tree is safe." Marth said to himself. "Now, DIE YOU
PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR ELVES!" he cried as he swung his blade,
ripping through the lines of Kokiri as he and Meta Knight finally made
it to their truck. They hopped in and rushed out of there at 350 mph,
not caring about how many Kokiri they killed.
A/N: Yay, first chapter done! Please R&R, everyone!