Hello readers! This story is based on the beloved characters from Suits. It follows the story and Harvey & Donna. This would be my take on what happened after Donna left the trial run and if Harvey had been the one to show up at her door instead of Mike. This is a one-shot of sorts but it will be broken up into two chapters.
I do not own any of these characters and all rights belong to the writers of Suits on USA Network.
Donna stormed out of the Pearson Hardman office. She had never felt so humiliated in her life. It was bad enough being fired from there a week ago but having to sit there and have that weasel Louis blindside her was the lowest low. How could Harvey knowingly drag her into something like that? That was it, she thought, she had spent way too much time in her life doing things for Harvey Specter and it was time to put that to an end. She felt her eyes burning as tears welled up but she willed herself not to cry while anywhere in the vicinity of Pearson Hardman. She stood at the corner and hailed a cab. All the while she could only hear Louis' words lashing at her, "Do you love Harvey Specter!?" This moment had replayed in her mind at least 50 times in the past 15 minutes. The look on Harvey's face at the time, she couldn't quite place it. He followed her to the elevator but made no motion to stop her. He knew better than to try she supposed. She was so lost in these thoughts that she failed to notice the cab that pulled up in front of her.
"Hey, Lady! Are you getting in or what!?" the cab driver shouted through the window, snapping her back to the present. She hopped into the cab and asked the driver to drop her off at Central Park. She needed a walk, some fresh air, time to clear her head.
Twenty minutes later Donna found herself in the heart of central park sitting on a bench contemplating the events of the past week. She pulled out a steno pad from her purse and started making a list of things she needed to do. She was practical and the type of person to remain calm under pressure. She needed to be rational right now and figure out her next steps.
Find a new job
She scribbled on the list and stopped there. She hadn't faced the reality yet that she would no longer be working for Harvey. She hadn't entirely considered what life would be like now without him in it. She was living it, yes, but she hadn't thought about what it meant in the long run yet. A knot formed in her stomach at this thought. She knew it wasn't about the job itself. She knew could be successful anywhere else she went but it was him and her, their dynamic and their energy that she knew could not be replicated.
"Do you love Harvey Specter!?" The voice resounded in her head once again.
Of course she cared for him and knew him well, she thought, probably more so than most employees do of their bosses but that was just loyalty she tried to convince herself. He had been a loyal boss to her over the years and she in return was a loyal employee. So she ended her relationship with Jonathan because of him but that didn't mean she was in love with him. She knew better than to let herself and her heart tread those waters. She hadn't bothered pursuing anything serious with anyone else, not because she thought something would flourish between her and Harvey, but because she figured it would all end the same way as it did with Jonathan.
"Do you love Harvey Specter!?" came Louis' voice once again.
No, she told herself. No, I do not. He is my boss. He WAS my boss! Once you go there, you can never go back. That would be more damaging than the current situation we are in.
"Do you love Harvey Specter!?" the voice in her head grew louder.
It doesn't matter, she thought. Harvey was in the lifelong bachelor club. The only time Donna had ever seen Harvey remotely serious about someone was Zoe. She had taken off 4 years ago without as much as a goodbye to him. But it didn't escape Donna's notice that Zoe was for some reason or another standing in the back of the room at the trial run.
"DO YOU LOVE HARVEY SPECTER!?" it repeated again for the hundredth time since she left the office.
"Yes, OK! Yes, Damn it!" she yelled out loud, scaring some passerby in the park.
"Oh, I'm sorry! Ma'am I'm sorry I wasn't yelling at you!" she called out after the elderly lady who sped off before Donna had a chance to say anything more.
"Great going, Donna!" she muttered to herself, "Not even out of a job for a week and I'm already the crazy lady talking to herself in the park."
The evening was approaching and it was starting to cool down. Exhausted from the day's events she started walking back to her apartment. She was a good amount of blocks away but figured the walk would do her some good. She was in love with Harvey. Deep down she always knew she was, admitting it was the hardest part because then she'd just have to stop running away from it. Good thing I won't have to be seeing much of him anymore, she thought with a dry laugh.
Harvey just stared as the elevator door closed shut, separating him and Donna once more. For the second time in a week, he had failed. He had failed her. A week ago he watched as she walked out of this office carrying all her belongings. He didn't say a word to her and he swore to himself he wouldn't let that happen again if given the chance. Yet as he watched in muted silence as those elevator door closed once again, he felt that his promise was as empty as the hole he now felt in his chest.
He confronted Louis and as much as he didn't like admitting Louis was right and as much as he wanted to blame him for what had just happened to Donna, he knew that it was entirely his own fault. He stormed back into his office and hurled a ringing telephone at the wall. Feeling exhausted and drained, he fell into his chair and buried his face in his hands. He was living a nightmare he thought. Hardman was back, he was facing the biggest challenge of his career, and Donna was gone. He leaned back into his seat, took a deep breath, and turned to face the city skyline out his window. He became lost in his own thoughts and all he could do was replay the look of sheer disappointment on Donna's face as the elevator door closed. He had always felt he was as loyal to her as a boss could be as she was to him but he could see now that it was far from true. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't hear the footsteps that approached his office.
"I didn't expect to find you here still," came the voice from his doorway.
"They haven't fired me yet," he replied dryly without turning around.
"That's not what I meant but I should have known you'd be stubborn enough to still be sitting here," she said as she took a seat in his office.
He turned to face her now. She sat in the chair across the room, an all-knowing smile hiding behind her eyes.
"What is it, Zoe?" he asked disinterested.
She now smiled fully, "Well, I guess I'm just wondering why you are sitting in this office being angry rather than going after the woman you love, who clearly also seems to love you back by the way."
He cocked his head to the side, rolled his eyes and just stared her down now.
He stood up and paced the room and after a long silent pause, he spoke up again, "What are you getting at? She never answered the question. She can just drive me so crazy sometimes! It was a simple a yes or a no answer; she could have answered the damn question!"
"Harvey, did you want the answer to that question for the purpose of your trial or for other reasons?"
"What difference does it make?" he asked, annoyance saturating his tone.
"It makes all the difference in the world and you know it! Tell me, if it was you on that stand, would have been able to answer that question? Do you love Donna?"
He turned on his heels to face Zoe, "Of course I'd be able to answer! I love Donna, she's the best damn legal secretary in all of New York, and everyone in this firm knows it!" he quipped.
"Yes, everyone does know it and everyone here loves Donna. She made a mistake out of loyalty. But now tell me the real answer; are you in love with Donna?" she questioned.
Harvey stopped mid-pace and stared Zoe down for a moment. Zoe was pushing his buttons and he was in no mood for it.
"That wasn't the question Louis asked," he answered through gritted teeth and a laugh escaped Zoe's throat.
"Oh come on now, Harvey! That may not have been the way Louis phrased the question but you and everyone else in that room, including Donna, knew that was the question Louis was asking. And the only reason you are upset she didn't answer is because you wanted to know how she felt without having to risk your own feelings to find out. It's why the partners loved what they saw happen between you two in that room today. It was like you were both seeing for the first time what everyone around you has seen for years."
"They didn't see anything, Zoe. She didn't answer the question!" he repeated again in a louder tone.
"This coming from the man who can read someone from a single gesture! You know better than that. Actions speak, Harvey. She answered the question, maybe not with words, but she answered it," Zoe replied simply.
When Harvey remained silent, Zoe continued.
"So you expected her to look into your eyes as well as a room full of your peers and colleagues and admit that she is in love with you, yet you can't even admit the way you feel to yourself, let alone a whole room of your colleagues!"
Harvey argued Zoe's statement in his mind for a moment but kept coming up short on an adequate response. Feeling defeated he turned back to his window and stared at the skyline in silence. Zoe came up behind him a put a hand on his shoulder.
"Harvey, you don't need to tell me the answer to the question. I already know. I know now why you never called me back. Or any other woman for that matter. The only woman you've ever really wanted to call everyday was the one who sat in front of you day in and day out. The one you thought you could never have because crossing that line would mean things would never be the same. Now, you don't need to tell me all that, I already know. But she doesn't Harvey. You need to tell her because she can't see it like everyone else can. You've flaunted way too many of your weekend conquests in front of her for her to ever think it a possibility. You and Donna have been doing this dance forever. Isn't it about time that you both get to be happy with one another in the way that you really want?"
Harvey drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before speaking again, "And what about when the whole thing falls apart? When I lose her for good? I've already lost her as my secretary!"
"Lose her? I thought Harvey Specter never lost" she mocked him lightly.
"Zoe," he gave her a pleading look.
He never had trouble talking to women but Donna wasn't just some random woman at a bar. She knew him better than anyone and he trusted her completely. She knew his moods and could handle him even on his worst days. He was out of his realm with this one.
Zoe eyed him seriously now.
"Look, Harvey, the way I see it, if you don't go fix this now then you've already lost her for good either way. At least this way you still have a chance. I've seen the way you look at her. I saw your eyes light up when she walked into that room today. You admire her, you respect her. She admires and respects you as well. She's been with you longer than most people I know who have been married. I'm sure she's seen you at your worst and she still loves you. Harvey, you can't let the one woman who has grabbed your heart walk out of your life. Don't live with that regret."
Harvey nodded and turned to look at her, "Zoe, I have to go now."
She smiled at him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "Good luck!"
"Hey, Harvey," she called once again as he reached the doorway, "Close that deal already, will you!?" she said smiling at him.
He gave her a soft smile and a small nod and headed out the door.
Hope you enjoyed this so far! Stay Tuned for Donna & Harvey's face-to-face encounter!