247AN: The closing song for this is "My Love will Never Die" by AG feat Claire Wyndham. You will find the link to the song in my profile page.
Epilogue
It was the sound that woke her, a familiar sound, one she thought she would never hear again.
Samara opened her eyes but didn't see the world around her at first. She remembered her daughters and the time after their father's death. She heard that sound a lot, that soft intake of breath as children, trying to be strong, tried to remain quiet. Where tears were swallowed, and anguish hidden. Samara wondered if she was dreaming, but when she moved a little, the echo of the pain she still felt told her that she was not.
Turning in the bed, Samara peered the shadows of her private room to find a figure standing there. The person shifted a little, drew in a breath and when Samara closed her eyes, began to move to the door, trying to sneak out. Opening her eyes again, the justicar cleared her throat.
"Asura."
She had known who it was, the figure who had stood vigil by her side since she regained consciousness. Samara had not had the energy to acknowledge her till now and had gathered from the ardat yakshi's usual silence that she had not needed it.
The figure stopped, stiffening at her voice.
"Justicar," Asura breathed. "My apologies for waking you, I was on my way out." She hesitated, took a deep, steadying breath.
"Do you need anything?"
Samara fumbled till she managed to turn on the light from the panel beside her bed so that she could get a better look at the younger asari matron.
"No," she spoke quietly. "Do you?" When Asura did not answer, she pressed further making sure to keep her voice low and kind. "Why were you crying child?" Now that she could see her more clearly, Samara was surprised to realise that Asura had a wound patch on her head and her expression looked quite haggard.
"What is wrong?"
Visibly trying to stay in control of her emotions, Asura bit her lip even as she tried to school her features to serenity.
"I... It is... nothing." She squeezed her eyes shut, her hand moving to her face so that she could cover her eyes. "Nothing I should... trouble you with. I am so sorry I woke you, Justicar. I simply needed a moment to..." She trailed off and left her sentence unfinished. Still staring at the wound patch on Asura's temple, Samara felt a sliver of concern.
"Dr Gable," she asked. "Is she alright? Where is she?"
Looking away from her to the door, perhaps wishing that she could flee through it, Asura motioned behind her.
"Here," she confessed, confirming Samara's fears. "I had... We..." She blew out a breath, not daring to look at the justicar. "Jane Shepard is gone. The Alliance came for her. I am sorry, Justicar." Again, she could hear the hint of tears in Asura's voice but at the mention of Jane's name, Samara's world slowed a little.
"Sit."
She had meant to be kind, but her voice held the command of her centuries of experience and turmoil. "By the Goddess, tell me Asura or so help me... What happened to Jane?"
Asura knew better than to deny her and took the chair on her command, sitting down quickly. She didn't look at Samara as she recounted the events that had transpired, of Jack's foolish but brave attempt to keep the Commander from facing her fate at the hands of the Alliance. Samara lay very still as Asura spoke to her, her thoughts first lingering on her lover and what they had gone through on that damned asteroid. But, she knew that for the time being, there was nothing she could do about Jane's fate. Nothing she could do to either save her from it or join her. She was, for the time being, as unreachable to her as her remaining daughters were.
Her daughters.
Samara focused on Asura who had not looked at her through her recount of Jane's plan to try salvage the situation, to neutralise Abby and Jack but not before making sure Jack understood that Abby had no part in what she would surely see as a betrayal. Jack's fate was unknown to Asura but the justicar knew that Jane would see to it that it was a good one.
"I've chosen to let them keep Abigail here till she wakes," Asura concluded. "And I... I had to receive treatment as well." She hugged herself though the action was desperate, her shoulders still hunched in pain and, what Samara now understood to be shame. "I... I had to." She trailed off and Samara found that she could have judged her. She could have judged her on using her power on a human. She could have judged her for what she was and there was still nothing but her word to Jane Shepard that stopped her from reached out and killing this demon for all the murders she committed with her unnatural power.
But she didn't.
Because she saw in Asura an echo of her daughters, an echo of their sorrow and ultimately the devastation that their genetic fate resigned them to. Watching her cling to herself, sensing the unshed tears, Samara found that in that second, her code didn't matter.
"I understand, Asura," she said softly and her words shattered through the last of the younger asari's self-control. Her shoulders shuddered as a soft sob escaped her lips and she hid her face in her one hand.
"I hate myself," she breathed. "I hate what I do to those I love." Samara could only watch as Asura started sobbing, her confession coming through in shuddering gasps and broken sentences. "I killed my family. My power killed my family. My mother. My sister. Lenelle would never have come for them if not for me. My power drove me to vengeance, hunger. I killed and killed. And the one person I did not... The one... I cannot even love Abigail without hurting her. I don't deserve... I don't deserve..." She trailed off, her body continuing to shake with quiet sobs.
Samara watched her and in her she saw the daughters she had lost.
The daughter she had to kill.
"I killed as well," Samara whispered. "Was forced to kill so many innocent lives because they were corrupted by my daughter. I killed my daughter..." The pain those words brought was sharp and unhealed by time and she remembered how easy it had been for Object Rho to use that against her. In the time that she had been awake, Samara had found herself wondering whether she could have given herself and Jane more time if she had simply seen through the illusion of Morinth sooner.
"Asura, come to me child. Please. I cannot come to you."
When the ardat yakshi didn't move, she tried again.
"I grieve with you for the life you could not have, Asura, as I grieve for my daughters and the futures I took from them," her own voice caught in her throat and her own tears wet her cheeks. I grieve for Jane Shepard and her fate. And I grieve because I cannot be with her. Not now, perhaps not for some time. "Please, come here. I am a mother without a child and you are a child without a mother. Let us pretend that, in this brief respite, we can be to each what the other need. Let me take your tears, child, and let us cry for tomorrow and the futures that will never be."
It took a few seconds, but Asura stirred then and came to her, taking the hand that Samara held out to her. Slowly, carefully shifting so that she could make some space for her on the bed, Samara pulled her down and prompted her to lie beside her. It was awkward and painful but there was a small part of Samara's soul, a part of herself that she had forgotten and denied, that found peace in this embrace as Asura settled beside her and sobbed into her shoulder, her usual barriers of self-control broken.
Samara held her as tight as she could and prayed to their goddess, to the matriarch for wisdom and the matron for peace.
Which she found, for just a moment.
Subject Zero woke up in an animal like fury and would have broken through any restraints they placed on her. Kahlee Sanders doubted whether they had ever kept such a powerful biotic at their facility and could not help but wonder whether they had bitten off more than they could chew.
But Anderson had asked her a favour and, even though she had met Jack before and gotten some inkling of what kind of trouble she could be, she could not deny him.
"You let me out of here!" Jack's voice thundered over the microphone. She had hardly been awake for a few minutes, but was already trying to tear her way out of the containment unit they had her in. "Let me out or you'll be sorry! You'll be fucking sorry!" Those who had been monitoring her had tried to talk her down, but nothing had gotten through to her so far. Dull thuds echoed around them and over the microphone and Kahlee could only guess that Jack was trying to physically punch her way out of the prison.
It had worked in Purgatory.
"She's going to tear the place down around us," Dr Thornton said, the tension clear in his voice. It was disconcerting to hear, because he was one of their more experienced personnel. "We've got to do something! We have to put her under again!"
Kahlee was studying the monitors but found herself thinking of Jane Shepard, wondering how she had been able to keep this destructive force contained.
I don't tell her to stay off of the grass.
Coming to a decision, though her stomach turned at the thought of it, Kahlee shook her head.
"I'm going in with her," she said and turned around to head to the dual door system, breathing through the tidal wave of anxiety that assaulted her. "Let me in there." She touched her shield belt and activated it, hoping that the experimental shield they were working on would do what it was supposed to do.
"Sanders!" Thornton objected. "She'll tear you to shreds!"
Kahlee almost laughed. She could, she thought. Someone like Subject Zero could.
"I don't think she will," she said feigning confidence. "Open the first door, Liam, and only open the second when I am near it. I don't want her breaching this containment, not till I've talked to her."
The man held her gaze.
"And if she kills you, Sanders? What then?"
Kahlee didn't miss a beat.
"Then you remember that people did this to her," she said. "That she was turned into this by scientists, such as yourself, who were fascinated by the limits of the human biotic potential." She held up her hand when Dr Thornton started to protest, looking insulted. "I know you are nothing like them, but I'm just saying. If she… kills me, you gas her and put her on ice until David Anderson or Commander Shepard gives you another instruction." She rather hoped it wouldn't come to that and tried not to think about how objective David would be in such a situation. But, he had a strong duty to Shepard so she hoped…
There was another dull thud and this time, though she hoped that she imagined it, she was sure she heard metal groan. They were going to have to do an integrity scan on this area of the station afterwards…
"Let me in there, Thornton, before she tears this whole station down around us."
He could not deny her because he knew in how much danger Jack's power put them. Breathing out sharply, Dr Thornton reached for the console and opened one of the two doors that were between her and one of the most powerful human biotics alive.
"God speed, Sanders," he said. "I'll try and gas her before... If she moves..." He trailed off as they shared a look, both realising that they might not have the time to do so if it came to that. She inclined her head at him and stepped through the door, even as her stomach turned with fear.
What have I gotten myself into?
The first door closed behind her, prompting her to move forward and stop by the second. It didn't open immediately and Kahlee heard the microphone crackle above her.
"Sanders... You don't have to do this. We can just gas her and put her on ice anyway."
They couldn't. That would be too easy. The best things in life always turned out to be the projects you worked the hardest at. The passions you bled for. Kahlee Sanders believed in what they did here at Grissom. She believed in their students, those they managed to salvage from Cerberus and elsewhere.
And she believed that it hadn't been a mistake to bring Jack here, despite the fact that it didn't come with a lot of forewarning or thought.
"Open the door, Liam," she said and braced herself. "When she's not near it..."
"That's now."
"Then do it," she said and readied herself to step forward. "Now."
She took a step as the doors moved open, hurrying into the room before retaliation came.
It didn't take long.
The shield she had activated around her sprang to life as she was hit by a force of biotics so strong it made her shift a few inches back and nearly lost her footing. There was a thin cracking sound and suddenly, her middle burned, the shield belt malfunctioning almost immediately after the impact.
Kahlee yelped as an electrical current painfully shocked her around her hips and without thinking she danced around, trying to get the damn thing off of her.
"Ouch, damn it, ouch! Ouch!"
If there wasn't footage of it, she would have denied that she had hopped around and whined as she did till she got the belt off. Throwing it across the room, Kahlee took in a deep breath and remembered where she was. Her eyes immediately found the blazing biotic in the room with her, her hands balled in fists as her power licked up her arms. Her expression was feral and furious as she stared at Kahlee.
"You."
I'm not dead yet, Kahlee took comfort in the thought and straightened up in some semblance of self-control.
"Hallo, Jack." The biotic was standing still since the first time she had leapt up from her cot, conscious and ready for carnage. Kahlee didn't move as Jack took two steps forward, her hand raised accusingly.
"Where... the... fuck... am... I?" She breathed but didn't make any other threatening motions. Kahlee could tell that she was ready. She had seen how fast Jack could work and knew that she was breathing simply because the biotic still willed it.
"Grissom Academy," she spoke levelly. "One of our secure wings. We weren't sure in what... state... you would wake and kept you here to protect you..." There was no use lying to her. "And us."
Jack's fists clenched and unclenched as she visibly fought to remain calm.
"And why the fuck am I here?"
Kahlee stared at her, using the silence to try and encourage Jack to calm down a little without losing her patience. She would hate to find out what the consequences of that would be.
"Jane Shepard trusted us with your safety," she said, which was the truth though it was also more complicated than that. Jack was wanted by the Alliance as she had assaulted several soldiers on Omega. The fact that it wasn't in Sol had nothing to do with it. She was guilty and Admiral de Sevigny wanted retribution.
Anderson had interfered. He had had Shepard's blessing to move Jack here, but he also made it sound as if she was in some form of custody. Or at least in a place where they could control her while they figured out how to prosecute her. She knew David wouldn't let it happen, but the politics were tense at the moment.
As was Jack, who had not liked to hear Shepard's name.
"Fuck her!" she snapped. "Fuck her, where is she?!" It was a difficult question to answer and Kahlee wished that the shield belt, which they were trying to design to withstand strong biotic attacks, still had one last run in it.
"I don't know, Jack," she confessed. "They took her to some Alliance black site after the... spectacle on Omega."
"Omega," Jack spat the name. "Where the hell is Abby and Asura? Are they here too?!" The names were unfamiliar to Kahlee, but she recounted what David had told her when they spoke over the phone.
"The veterinarian and the asari?" Jack nodded a brief affirmation. "No... I don't know where they are. I presume they are back on Omega."
Jack growled, her hands turning back into fists as she bared her teeth.
"I am going to kill Asura." She said it with so much conviction that Kahlee had to do a double take to try and figure out if she actually meant it or not. She didn't really like the answer, judging by the look in Jack's eyes.
"That's a bit extreme."
Jack didn't pay her any mind as she started pacing again, still bringing to mind a feral animal stuck in a cage.
"And I am going to fucking kill Shepard when I get my hands on her! Fuck!" She exclaimed and seemed to mean it too. She flung her arms out, then seemed to notice her clothes for the first time. She stared at the sleeves in horror then turned a vicious glare back to Kahlee. "How the fuck did I get here? What the fuck is this? Where the hell is my clothes?" Her hand came to her side, touching the place where her wound was. She grimaced a little, then pulled up her shirt to regard the damage. They had cleaned the wound when Jack came here, though it had hardly been necessary and, after dissolving the wound glue, closed it properly with a laser. It would heal a lot faster now, though it would still be tender for a few days.
"We took care of that for you..." Kahlee pointed out before Jack asked. "It had torn open during your... transport. It had been quite crude..." She had said the wrong thing without realising it as Jack rounded on her again.
"Fuck you, it was the best the doc could do." Her tone was defensive, then furious. "What else did you do to me? What did you do?"
What did you do? Kahlee repeated the words in her head, testing Jack's tone. And there it was, she thought.
The fear.
"Nothing. We just treated your wound."
Jack refused to accept her answer. "The hell you did!" she snapped. "I've been to a place like this before and you think these were just wounds they happened to sow close?" She pulled the collar down from her neckline, exposing faint scars that were hidden under various tattoos. Kahlee still found that she winched when she saw them. She had winched when the medical team examined Jack, plotting all the lines and scars.
"We did nothing to you, Jack," she reassured her, keeping her voice low and steady. "That's not what we do here. Please, would you care to take a seat?"
"No," Jack snapped, then seemed to think about the sentence. "I mean, yes, I care to. Fuck. I'm not sitting down."
Kahlee hoped that her instincts were correct in assuming that Jack was starting to calm down a little. She started to shift towards the cot, watching Jack's reaction at her movement.
"May I?"
The biotic snorted and looked around, scanning the walls around them, lingering where there were cameras. She didn't react to them, but her face tightened again.
"Your fucking place."
Kahlee didn't talk until she was settled; mentally recounting all the questions Jack had thrown at them. She also studied Jack as she moved, taking note of the biotic's body language. Her hostility was barely hidden. Kahlee was no stranger to that as the biotics they got into the Ascension Project were often mistreated. It was why they had tried to sharpen their retrieval of the children pre-implant. It allowed them to have a hand in their mentality towards their potential power from the beginning. Settled, she spoke quickly – not wishing to try Jack's patience further.
"You were brought here a few hours ago after Anderson had contacted us to hear whether we could provide you sanctuary. As I understand, things had gotten a bit out of hand on Omega and his priority was to make sure that you were brought to safety. He didn't want you to fall into the hands of the Alliance."
The young woman wasn't a fool.
"You are the fucking Alliance," she snapped. "Your uniform says it all."
Kahlee had to nod. "Technically... Yes, but, we also work outside of the Alliance. Our Ascension Project has autonomy. Which is why it was safe to bring you here till matters settle a little."
Jack's fists clenched. No, Kahlee thought alarmed, realising her instincts were wrong. No, she's not calming down.
"So I'm a fucking prisoner?!"
That was a complicated question that she didn't want to answer.
"No," she spoke quickly. "You can... leave anytime you want to." Jack's eyes flashed a dangerous warning, a challenge. She didn't trust Kahlee's answer.
"Great," she snapped. "Bye." She started heading towards the still closed door and Sanders knew it was not going to open for her.
"Jack, wait," She wasn't sure whether she should intercept Jack or let her reach the door first. "Where are you going to go?"
"Back to fucking Omega," Jack said, not yet leaving as she looked around the secured room. "Where the fuck's my stuff? I need to see if Abby is alright. Possibly kill that asari bitch because she must have known about all of this."
Kahlee Sanders felt sorry for the 'asari bitch'.
"And then?"
Jack almost laughed her off. "Then fucking what? That's none of your fucking business."
She was wrong in that, Anderson had made sure it was.
"I... know," she spoke levelly. "But... Jack, would you please sit down? I want to talk to you." The biotic rounded on her again.
"Yeah? I don't want to talk to you. Or your people. I'm done here."
And what happens when you realise the door won't open for you? Not without authority that might stretch higher than mine.
"You don't have to be."
Jack stopped. And Kahlee didn't know why but she had her full attention.
"This school, the Ascension Project, is a safe haven for biotics and, yes, it's a training ground for those who would want to serve the Alliance one day but that's not compulsory." She spoke quickly. "Mostly, we take in young students, children sometimes with the potential to become biotics. You've seen some of our students, you interacted with them. Some we rescue from Cerberus. Some flee to us. Some others are brought to us, like David Archer, to recover and heal."
Jack deflated a little at the mention of the man they had rescued from a Cerberus project. It was hard to imagine that not even a month had passed since they first met. The world had changed too much. Jack seemed to consider this as well as she sighed, her tone kinder and less aggressive.
"How is he doing?"
It was hard to be honest, hard because they had not yet made as much progress in reaching him as she hoped they would. She shared this with Jack, allowed her to see her frustration.
"I won't lie, his recovery might be a long one," she spoke quietly and with reserve. "But we're already making some progress... Not a lot. Not as much as I would have wanted, but considering what's been done to him..." She trailed off. "We're not like Cerberus, Jack."
The young woman made no comment, but the fury had left her again. She looked older now as she stared at Kahlee, the shadow the world had left on her clearly visible. Kahlee continued quickly because she knew she only had one chance to make this work out for all of them.
"This facility is dynamic, it's role and people ever developing and expanding. It is a place where we work with purpose and do so not at the detriment of others."
Jack didn't blink and she wasn't going to be convinced by sweet words and pleas. "What the fuck are you trying to say?" Her tone was low with just a hint of menace in it. Kahlee played her card, the only card she had in her hand. There was nothing else up her sleeve.
"That I think you can belong here as well."
Again Jack's tumultuous temper showed itself as she all but sneered the next words.
"Fuck it, I'm not joining your collection."
All or nothing, Kahlee thought. One card.
"It's not a collection, Jack!" Kahlee hadn't planned to stand up but she did. She also wasn't sure whether it was wise to raise her voice to the younger woman, but she didn't care. This was her one card. Jack took a step back from her, surprised by her show of emotion. Kahlee didn't give her time to comment as she went on.
"I have put my heart and soul into this place since coming here. And I can see the potential it has. And believe it or not, I look at you and I see how you can help me accomplish some of the things I want to achieve. You are... unique Jack. You know this. You can do things with your biotics that I didn't even think was possible. And you've been out there. You know what the world is like, you can... You can prepare those who want to leave, warn them about what is out there. And you can train those who want to stay."
The words hung between them as Jack's eyes widened, her hands moving to her head in surprise.
"Fuck me," she managed aghast. "You're recruiting?!"
Am I?!
"I... I guess I am." Kahlee said and composed herself a little, giving Jack an expression that she suspected reflected more confidence than she felt. The biotic blinked at her and then started laughing as if she was privy to the world's biggest joke.
"You're fucking mad, Lady," she breathed amidst the bouts of laughter. "In. Sane."
Kahlee wasn't so sure. In fact, she was beginning to like the idea as she thought about it.
"I'll pay you," she ploughed forward. "What do you have to lose? I mean, what do you really have to go to? We can bring you in touch with your friends from here. I can try and do so now even."
Jack's venomous response lacked its usual sting. "Fuck you," she muttered. "I have options." But, Kahlee knew she didn't. Not really. She had been adrift before Shepard pulled her out of Purgatory. And, the woman they had rescued from the prison station wasn't the person she saw before her. She was sure of it. Jane Shepard had that effect on people. She changed them.
"I know," Kahlee's tone wasn't too kind because she knew Jack wouldn't be able to deal with it. "But think about it, I believe this is the best one. I want you to think about it while I go and see whether your room is ready. This is not our guest quarters. I'm sorry for locking you up, but I suspected you might not wake... as willing to listen as you are now."
Jack didn't argue, her gaze straying to the marks her biotics had left on the walls. Her mouth thinned as she looked at Kahlee, making eye contact.
"Are you bullshitting me?" Her question was earnest which made Kahlee reply in kind.
"No," she spoke in a quiet voice. "I'm not, Jack. I think you've had enough of that in your life." She shifted and started back to the door. "I'm going to leave now; I... won't let them engage the lock. You can follow me out if you want to."
Jack didn't move, her hand on her side as she began to head to the spot on the bed that Kahlee vacated. It wasn't lost on Sanders that the power display Jack had delivered previously had to have taken a toll on her. She had not eaten yet and still had to be partially under the influence of the drug in her system. Usually, biotics didn't wake from the medication completely capable of concentrating on her power, but Jack had broken that mould.
"I'm going to take a moment," she said tightly as she sat down and put her head in her hands. "Can I... Do you have any water? I need a drink."
Kahlee nodded and resisted the urge to go to Jack and put a comforting hand on her. "I'll arrange that and some food," she said. "Take all the time you need, I'll be back soon."
She left without giving Jack an opportunity to say anything else. She felt that more than enough had been said and now... Now she simply had to make miracles happen. The first, after she left the chamber was to face her colleague. Thornton looked horrified rather than impressed that she had escaped there without having half of herself smeared across the walls.
"What the fuck, Sanders?" he snapped. "A teacher?! Here?! You don't have authority to make that appointment!"
Kahlee Sanders didn't pay him any mind, but looked around the corridor, feeling as if a new chapter in the Ascension Project was about to begin. And savouring the fact that she was still alive.
"Maybe," she murmured. "But I know a man who does."
She figured that after this mess, Admiral Stephen Hackett owed Shepard a favour and it wasn't too much to ask to cash it in on the well being of her own crew.
The Commander, she knew, would understand.
Rage.
Whose was it?
Who did it belong to?
Her? Surely not. She never felt anger. Not like this.
Lenelle was angry. Lenelle had raged. Lenelle had been caught and tortured and used before she finally took control of her life and killed all those who wronged her.
Asura. Asura had raged after they killed her family. She had raged and she raged, but ultimately... Ultimately she had found peace. She had found peace with her. Dr Abigail Gable.
I am Dr Abigail Gable, she told herself but didn't want to believe it. She never got this angry, but… she was and it was new to her.
Shifting as more of her senses began to return to her, Abby fidgeted around the sterile smelling bed, flexing her fingers, clenching and unclenching her firsts. She opened her eyes to the dim light of Mordin's clinic and stuck out her tongue. Her body obeyed. She flexed her fingers again, then tapped a rhythm on her thumb.
Success.
She was… healed.
"Dr Gable?"
Abby turned her gaze to a figure standing beside her in the darkness. She tried to find a smile but couldn't.
"Mordin," she said by way of greeting. "How long?"
"Fifty-seven hours," he said and the number felt like a punch to her stomach. "Longer than the current average. My guess, no neurocon preparation. Limited mental buffer. Your pain?" Neurocon was the drug she had to take before she and Asura melded. It had made quite a difference to her general comfort afterwards.
Abby closed her eyes and assessed her person. She didn't always wake up in the infirmary after she and Asura melded but then… This had not been as before.
"Worse than normal," she confessed. "I have a… headache." She swallowed. "I… think when I move it will turn to a migraine." She watched as the salarian opened the interface on his omnitool and scanned her body. He didn't look too troubled.
"Have medication here," he said. "No risk." His dark, alien eyes turned to her. "Are you alright, Dr Gable?"
She didn't know how to answer that but took a deep breath and tried to push herself up, grateful that she was at least wearing a hospital gown. Though she was mindful of the various tubes and wires, she accidentally pulled off one of the medical nodes that were distributed around her person to monitor her neural responses, which made the bed beep in alarm. Mordin, with very little regard for her modesty, lifted the blankets over her and put the node back on her bare thigh, his fingers cool. Abby gave him a look and carefully arranged the blankets around her legs again.
"I'm… fine," she said finally, not looking at him but studying her hands, taking note that they didn't tremble. She should be used to it, but it still felt like a miracle every time. "Where's… Everybody? Shepard? Jack?" She paused because she had to breathe a little to ease the ball of rage in her chest. "Asura?"
Mordin's large eyes didn't miss much.
"Shepard? Who knows," he stated. "Alliance took her. No more publicity, silence. Council staying silent. Anderson investigated, maybe overplayed his hand. Showed wrong loyalty. Jack…" He grimaced. "Don't know. Somewhere safe I would imagine. Will try and find out for you. Asura right here, waiting for me to leave. Scheduled full spectrum of neurological tests. While you are here. Monitor effect of melding without neurocon."
Abby turned to find that there was a figure lingering by the door. She didn't look at Mordin but tried to see the expression on Asura's face.
"I want to go home," she told the salarian. "No tests."
He ignored her.
"Inca will come and get you in a moment or two, will give you two some privacy."
"Mordin…" Abby warned but she could tell he wasn't going to budge.
"Necessary," he said simply. "You can go home when we are done." He left without ceremony and without allowing her to protest any further. Abby watched him leave then turned her gaze on Asura who approached the bed immediately.
"Are you okay?" Asura asked as she reached out and touched her hand. "Abigail…" When her fingers touched Abby's the vet pulled away abruptly, the rage she had been feeling bursting in her chest.
"Don't you touch me!" She snapped. "Don't you dare, Asura!"
The asari paused in surprise at her outburst, then reached out to touch her shoulders.
"Abigail…" She began, but the veterinarian shook her head and pushed her away, not wanting her near her. Not in this moment with all the rage burning in her chest.
"I said no, Asura!" She snapped. "I said no!"
Her partner, her new lover and love blinked, but Abby could tell she knew what she was talking about. She knew. It made her even angrier. With her hand still on Asura's chest to push her away, Abby found herself balling her fist and slamming it into the asari's chest. The rage pulsed as tears came to her eyes. Terrible, angry tears.
"You don't do it to me like that ever again," she spoke in a hurry, before her voice broke. She hated that about herself, she never been able to simply be angry. Frustration and anger always brought her to tears. "What we share, Asura… God damn it. You can't use it as a weapon against me! I don't want to be afraid of you!" She pulled her fist back, but Asura, with a pained expression, grabbed her hand and pulled her close.
"I'm sorry," she breathed. "Abigail, I'm sorry."
The worse thing was Abby knew it. She had been sorry when they were locked in the deed. The memory washed over her, the experience shattered across feeling and sensations. Pain and pleasure that mixed together in a confusing chunk of ecstasy. Emotions, hers and Asura's. The asari had been scared as well. Scared of hurting her, scared of being hurt. Desperate, so desperate.
"Don't be sorry," Abby's last broke off in a sob. "By the Goddess, Asura, do better. I… I…" She swallowed and closed her eyes, then gave in and wrapped her hands around the person she had come to love in this world. With all her flaws. They held onto each other in a painful silence, the asari saying nothing to defend herself. And Abby hurt for her, though she realised abruptly she was still angry.
At what? Why does it persist?
The answer was painfully obvious suddenly.
She was angry at herself as well.
Taking a deep breath to control her emotions, Abby tightened her hold on Asura.
"I don't mean that," she said and meant it. "I need to do better. I put you in that position." She trailed off. "I'm so sorry, this is my fault." She pulled away from Asura in shame. "You didn't deserve that."
She felt Asura breathe out of sigh of relief and for a moment, they simply existed together.
"There was no right or wrong path," her partner whispered. "Samara had said this."
Aching, Abby blinked slowly and wished that, as predicted, she didn't have the beginning of a migraine. This moment… This was too important. She didn't have the time to ask Asura about how it came to be that Samara had commented on their predicament.
"I should have sent them away when I realised what they brought to our door," Abby whispered, though she could also tell that it didn't sit well with her. She could not have abandoned Shepard and Jack to their own fate. "Our safety… yours…" She trailed off. "I don't know. But I'm sorry, Asura, you didn't deserve that."
The tension eased as Asura pulled away from her and sat down on the bed. Abby, swallowing against the nausea of her migraine, blew out a breath and lay down though she took Asura's hand and held it.
Her partner held it tightly, bringing the fingers to her lips so that she could kiss them.
"You are right," she said softly. "I promise, Abigail, I'll never meld with you… under those circumstances again. It wasn't right, not considering what we share. I owe you more than that." She hesitated. "Are you… are you afraid of me?"
She would have thought the asari knew.
"A little," Abby whispered. "You know this. Not always. But there is… I feared you in that moment. I do not want to, but it was there. I will work on that." She saw movement beyond Asura to find that one of Mordin's assistants, a batarian nurse she was vaguely familiar with, was lingering at the door, waiting for them. She swallowed and looked up at her partner.
At her gift and her salvation.
"We will figure this out, Asura." She promised the asari and allowed her mind to linger on the one emotion in the cacophony of turmoil that had spilled over her. The one emotion that mattered.
Asura's unconditional love and the new, life changing love she had found herself feeling for the asari in return. This was new and this was wonderful. The world was in turmoil but this… This was her peace. She could tell that Asura was thinking about it as well because her features were soft.
"Yes," she whispered and leaned closer to kiss Abby on the cheek. "Yes, we will."
And on a distant planet, with storm clouds and lightening the only illumination in the sky, Dr Liara T'Soni looked up from her console to see the small shuttle descend through the hatch that had opened in the hanger. The concern she had felt over the shuttle's safety moments before vanished to relief.
She shouldn't have doubted the pilot.
Closing the hatch above them, Liara gathered her coat around her and descended the stairs so that she could welcome the newcomer. The shuttle's hatch had opened and the occupant all but flowed out with a grace Liara could only admire. Even during her time in Illium, she had always doubted whether she could hold a room like Miranda Lawson. The human woman simply had no equal.
"That was some good flying," she said by way of greeting. "I'm so sorry, but Hagalaz isn't very nice this time of the year it seems."
Miranda straightened up and leaned into the shuttle's cockpit to pull out a small travel bag. She appeared very calm but Liara could sense her trepidation, something she had not thought the woman capable of.
"Is it ever?" She retorted. "The forecast hardly predicted a day worthy of the beach." She turned slowly and faced Liara, her lips thinning before she took a deep breath and gave her a brief smile.
"Dr T'Soni."
"Dr Lawson."
Miranda grimaced and waved away the title. "Please. Miranda. I've never liked using my title." She glanced behind her at the shuttle and Liara hoped she wasn't regretting her decision to come to the Shadow Broker's lair already.
"Then please, you should call me Liara," she replied. "Come, let me show you to your quarters. I hope it will be to your satisfaction." She stared walking and after a moment, Miranda followed, moving in step next to her.
"Well, it's certainly better than the inside of an Alliance cell," she pointed out then sighed. "Thank you for having me Dr… Liara. I wasn't followed."
Liara gave her a reassuring smile. "Of course not," she said. "I trust you, Miranda." Because Jane Shepard did and, for all the adversity their relationship had faced in the past few months, Liara trusted Shepard.
Miranda seemed to follow her train of thought, her expression saddening.
"Any news on Shepard?"
Liara grimaced as she nodded. "They've taken her to Sol. I doubt there will even be a trial." She watched as Miranda's face hardened.
"Then it's up to us to continue the work," she said. "What are you working on at present? Do you have an update for me?"
"Here," Liara said, handing Miranda a datapad that she could start reading immediately. "And, I have given you access to all my systems." She paused to stress the next. "All of them, Miranda. You are… Your skills will not go to naught here. I believe we can do a lot together."
Miranda's expression was a little distant, but Liara could sense her gratitude.
"I won't disappoint."
Liara thought back to the time she had delivered Shepard's body to Cerberus. Miranda had been uncharacteristically supportive of her in that period. And she had left her with those same words.
I won't disappoint.
"I believe you," Liara said. "You haven't yet. Let's get down to business, there's work to be done and the Reapers are coming."
The End of All Creatures Great and Small.
Closing note: I didn't think that I would finish this. I posted the first chapter on the 20th of December, 2012 and I think we can all reflect on how much the world and we ourselves have changed in this time. The truth is, I can't even remember whether this was how I had planned for it all to originally but I hope I did it all justice. I feel sometimes as if this was the hardest thing I've ever done because it became the mountain I had to climb through depression, turmoil and change and I don't think a part of me will ever stop regretting how I almost abandoned it and so many other things. I guess, I can only look forward.
And promise to do better.
If you started reading this in the beginning, I thank you for coming back. I thank you for sticking with it. There are a lot of people who walked me through this journey. Some who cheered on the side. Some who made me laugh, some who challenged me. I dedicate this to all of them.
To all of you who reviewed so regularly, you made my day.
To those of you who deemed this worthy to be read. Thank you, I am honoured.
To the two friends I have made in this.
Matthew, I admire what you do every day more than I can say. You have put me to shame sometimes.
Zim. You are a light. Never dim.
To StillDormant who has read this as a beta from the beginning. The mistakes you may still find in this is not her, it's all mine.
To Alyssa.
I can't believe I am saying this, but there will be a sequel. I plan two more stories and 'interlude' of sorts and then Mass Effect 3. The ending has been written already. And I want to tell it. I feel as if I owe Commander Shepard that much. This game still means so much to me.
So, till the next one.
Thank you.
HB