Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or its characters.


No More Pasta?

Northern Italy hummed merrily as he logged onto his Facebook account. He quickly scanned his updates. "Ve~~~!" He sighed. "Everyone seems to be doing fine!"

He continued to scroll down until he saw an article that America had linked to his wall. "Eh? What could this be?" He looked at the post America had written beside it. "'Italy, dude. Don't freak out when you read this, but I saw this and thought you ought to know. I'll totally be a hero and fix this though!'"

Italy tilted his head sideways. "Why would America send me something like this?" He read the title of the article.

For a moment, everything stopped. Then his eyes sprung wide open. "Ve?!" He clicked on the article.


The members of the G8 looked at each other nervously, with the exception of Northern Italy.

"So why have we all been called together in Italy?" England asked, raising one of his giant eyebrows.

"Hell if I know! I had nothing to do with this!" Romano crossed his arms and scowled. "Veneziano called this meeting!"

For some reason, Spain had followed him to the meeting. "Don't worry, I'm sure everything is fine, Lovi~!"

"I told you to stop calling me that, tomato bastard!"

Everyone instead turned to Germany instead. "So were you the one who wanted to see us then? You could have just called us yourselves." Russia frowned at the German, coming to the same conclusion as the other gathered.

China, who also was not supposed to be there, nodded in agreement.

Seriously, how were these people getting in?

Germany sighed. "You probably won't believe me, but I also had no part in this. I have no idea what this meeting is for. Italy could have run out of pasta for all I know."

"Pasta?" America questioned, realization dawning in his eyes. "Oh my gosh, dudes, I think I know what this is about…"

"What could it be about?" Canada asked softly.

No one heard him.

"What could it be about?" France asked, frowning.

A small sigh could be heard, but everyone assumed that it was just the wind blowing.

"Well, you see…" America was cut off by the doors of the meeting room banging open.

Everyone turned in surprise towards the door at the nation making the America-like entrance.

Then they all did a double take and blinked rapidly to make sure they weren't seeing things.

There stood Italy. He looked a lot like his brother since he looked pissed off. And his eyes were wide open.

Italy.

Pissed off.

Eyes OPEN.

December 2012.

Holy crap.

The world really was ending.

Ignoring the shocked looks of his comrades, especially Germany and Romano, Italy stomped into the room and slammed a stack of papers into the table. "WE ARE STOPPING GLOBAL WARMING! NOW!"

Everyone blinked. Germany had never seen the nation so passionate and determined. He couldn't help but admire this side a bit, but he knew that something was up. "Italy, what's wrong?"

"NOTHING! WE'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE BY STOPPING GLOBAL WARMING!" Italy slammed his hand down again to emphasize his point. "ANY IDEAS?"

Germany frowned at him. "Italy. You never speak in all caps unless you're talking about pasta. So what's wrong?"

Italy turned to him. His eyes filled up with tears. "GERMANY! THE PASTA!" He closed his eyes to how they usually were and launched himself at Germany, crying into his shoulder.

Around the table, nations let out a sigh of relief.

Looks like the world wouldn't be ending just yet.

Glad that the Italian was back to normal, America decided to continue as Italy sobbed. "So anyway," he said, everyone turning towards him, "as I was saying, there was an article published on one of my news sites that I thought concerned Italy."

England looked at him incredulously. "One of your people wrote an article that concerned Italy? What was it about?"

America made a small coughing sound. "Well, it was titled, 'The End of Pasta.'"

Italy's sobs became louder. Germany patted him on the back to try to comfort him. "So what does that have to do with global warming? Why would it affect Italy like this?" He asked.

America sighed. "The article said that due to rising temperatures, wheat production would suffer. Pasta is made from some part of wheat, so if there is less wheat, there's less pasta. Wheat needs cool temperatures to grow apparently, so if temperatures continue to rise because of global warming, eventually there will be nothing to make pasta or bread from. So it'll be the end of pasta."

Everyone but Italy stared at him. He sounded too intelligent, although Russia didn't look too surprised.

But still…

First, Italy opened his eyes and now America was smart.

The end of the world was back on the schedule.

America grinned his "hero" smile at them all. "But like I told Italy, I'm the hero, so I'll prevent the destruction of pasta. After all, both Italian and Chinese food are popular at my place." He laughed his "hero" laugh for good measure.

Internally, everyone sighed with relief again.

World ending crisis was averted.

Then, Japan realized something that America said. "Wait, America-san. Would ramen noodles also be gone if temperatures rose?"

"Uh, probably."

"This is an outrage!" Japan was upset. How could his otakus survive without cup ramen?

"My people need their pasta as well, aru!" China agreed.

Germany sighed. "Then let's start working on how to actually solve global warming this time."

Italy's crying subsided. "Germany… will you really help me?"

A slight blush tinted Germany's cheeks. "Of course, you dummkopf. We were going to do it anyway. You just helped us start working on it."

"YAY! Thank you, Germany! You saved pasta, ve~!" Italy hugged him, making the blush deepen on Germany's face.

"We haven't done anything yet!" He protested.

Meanwhile, Romano finally recovered from his shock. "Hey, let go of my fratello, potato bastard!" Spain tried to pull him away from throttling Germany.

England and America started discussing ways to stop global warming, though it was mainly England telling America how a giant super robot would not work.

France became distracted by a beautiful woman walking by outside.

Russia pulled China onto his lap, talking about he was going to become one with him.

Canada saw all of this from his seat and sighed. "Well, everything is back to normal… Still, we really should focus on stopping global warming." He looked around. "Oh, well. I guess it can wait another day."


Author's note: This is a real article on the Newsweek website. My brother posted a link on Facebook to this article. I read and was struck by a bolt of inspiration. Seriously, though, I am not losing my pasta because of global warming. So the moral is...

Save Pasta! Stop Global Warming!

Besides, what's Italy without his pasta?