{Author's Note: Alrighty, I played through a lot of Façade yesterday, and I really enjoyed it. I realized there's fanfiction of it, though there's just a handful (six counting crossovers) and all of them are one-shots. I wish to rectify this. 'How?' you might ask. Well, simple, I tell you. By crossing it over with a... genre of crossovers. Also, potential crackfic warning is in effect, so watch out if the fanfic doesn't make any sense.}

[Disclaimer: I think we all know what I'm going to say, so let's skip it.]

And hey, let's also skip the intro to these Pooh's Adventures that go on for ages. Our story begins with Winnie The Pooh sitting on a log outside of his... or rather Mr. Sanders' house. Soon, Christopher Robin came over, holding a letter in his hand.

"Hello, Pooh!" Christopher Robin said.

"Hello, Christopher Robin!" Pooh said. He then noticed the letter. "What is that letter for?" Pooh asked.

"Oh, it's a letter addressed to you Pooh!" Christopher Robin said to Pooh as he gave the letter to him. Pooh then opened the letter.

"Dear Adam Sanders,

Hey, it's Trip! It's been a while! Why don't you come over tonight? Grace and I would love to see you! Come on over to 123 Fake Street around 8, okay?

Hope to see you tonight,


"My, it's wonderful!" Pooh said.

"So, seeing as you live under Mr. Sanders' house, I figured it was addressed to you. So, what do you say? Do you wish to go and visit them?" Christopher asked.

"Why, certainly, Christopher Robin! Let's also bring everyone along!" Pooh said.

"Uh... Everyon-" Christopher Robin asked, confused. However, Pooh shouted to the top of his lungs:

"EEEEEEEEEEEH-VEEEEEEEEERY-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!" which scared Christopher Robin as he ran off to go find as many friends of Pooh as he could.

And so he gathered... Oh hell no. I am so not doing this. I'm not listing this! This is gonna take us all day just for me to type alone! And to list them off every single time? No! I say no! I'm just gonna just put a single number. That's it.

Christopher gathered 100 of Pooh's friends. Guy must be a social butterfly. And so, Pooh and his 100 friends went off to... wherever 123 Fake Street is, and have one weird adventure.

This, my friends, is an adventure I call...

Pooh's Adventures of Façade!

Featuring Pooh's 100 Friends!

However, they were far away from the city that contained Fake Street, and thus they relied on transportation. Fortunately, they had a train named Thomas. As they simply walked into Sodor, which, uh... is a freaking island, Pooh asked Thomas if he could ride him to Fake Street.

"Sure thing, Pooh Bear! I just need to make sure we're accommodated for the size! Annie, Clarabel, can you fit all these people?" He asked his two coaches.

"No, Mr. Thomas, we can't!" Annie said, her eyes widen in shock at the sheer size of Aladar, a dinosaur. Clarabel's eyes were more stuck to a giant walking nuclear bomb metaphor, otherwise known to the audience as Godzilla. The coaches were about the size of their freaking feet. The only hope they have to fitting is if they were shrunk, and nobody thought of making a shrink ray.

"Sorry guys, looks like some of you have to stay." Pooh said to the giant part of the group, disappointed. Understanding (and even happy with this), they left. 80 Friends Remain.

"Hey! Thomas!" The Fat Controller said as he walked to the station. "What is the meaning of this?" He asked Thomas.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Thomas asked him.

"You were supposed to be working the branch line! Your absence is going to cause much confusion and delay!" Topham said.

"Well, I'm sorry, sir..." Christopher Robin said to the controller. "But you see, we need to visit someone and-" Soon, Christopher Robin was interrupted.

"No! You listen to me! You are not to use my trains for your 'adventures'! Especially without paying! Now get off of my damn Island, you freeloaders!" Sir Topham Hat said.

Pooh sighed. "I guess we have no choice then... HURRY! INTO THE COACHES!" Pooh said as he ran into the first coach he saw. Complied, many of Pooh's friends ran to the coaches as well... Well, except for the smaller ones... They... well, they kind of got squashed under all the rushing. One of them, Huckle, a seven year old cat, ran to see that his friend, Lowly, along with the Wonderpets, Garfield, and the Jungle Cubs, were crushed underneath the rush.

"Lowly! Speak to me!" Huckle cried out to his fried.

"I... can't go on... Huckle... I... I'm sorry..." And with that, Lowly gave his last breath and exited this world.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO!" Huckle cried out. 60 Friends Remain. Soon, the trains left, carrying as much people as they could, though it was still as packed as a Japanese subway. Pooh and his friends inside Annie felt that there was more room.

When the train stopped in... Let's say New York, because that's pretty usual, Pooh and his friends got off. The doors on Clarabel opened as a noxious fume came out. Pooh and his friends would notice that several of them have died of suffocation. Timon then realized what happened as he noticed Pumbaa being the only one on the train still breathing.

"Oh for Mufasa's sake, Pumbaa! Learn to control your bowels!" Timon said.

"Timon! I'm so sorry! I can't handle being in large crowds!" Pumbaa said. Timon could only slap his forehead in shame of his friend's flatulence murdering a good chunk of Pooh's friends. 21 Friends Remain. As the number of friends dwindled down, Pooh felt exceptionally worried.

"Sorry I can't follow you guys, with me being on this rail and all. I hope you all the best though!" Thomas said as he stayed on the rails. 20 Friends Remain.

"Christopher Robin, will we ever make it to Fake Street?" Pooh asked Christopher Robin.

"Well, we might... Oh! I see it!" Christopher Robin said as he pointing to a sign called Fake Street.

"Oh, wonderful! Let's go, friends! To the apartment!" Pooh said as he marched to his destination. Soon, a mother and her daughter noticed them.

"Look Mommy! It's Ronald McDonald! And he's with Mickey Mouse!" She said, pointing to the strange clown man and the walking mouse man with large ass ears. The two stopped to wave hi to the little girl, while Pooh and his other friends kept going. She smiled and as about to ask for his autograph, but soon, her mother pulled her away.

"No! Don't talk to the creepy clown! He could snatch you away!" Her mother said, clearly traumatized from the antics of Pennywise the Clown.

"Madam, I can say with all my guarantee that you have nothing to be afraid of..." Ronald said. But she just couldn't listen.

"POLICE! POLICE! THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE MY BABY!" She said. Soon, several policemen came.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" One of them said as they took Ronald and Mickey down town for questioning. 18 Friends Remain.

Soon, Pooh and his friends made it to the apartment, and just on time too, they were just on time. Entering into the apartment, they soon found and entered the elevator. However, because of just how many there were, the elevator moved sluggishly. Pumbaa could feel everyone pushing at him and shoving him.

"Uh, Timon... I... I'm crowded... I'm gonna..." But Pumbaa couldn't say anything more in the account of his ribs being compressed. However, one of them, Kirby, noticed what he was going to do, and in a brave act of courage, he swallowed Pumbaa whole and devoured him. He soon gained hair exactly like Pumbaa, as well as his pink skin being more of a reddish color. Nobody noticed, or cared (save for Timon and Simba, obviously) that Pumbaa was no longer with them.

"Hey Pumbaa, you feeling good?" Timon asked Kirby. Heck, they might have just mistook Kirby for Pumbaa. 17 Friends Remain.

"Where are the wine glasses?" Trip asked Grace as he looked around for them.

"What for?" Grace asked.

"That should be obvious!" Trip said.

"Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!" Grace said. Pooh and his friends arrived at the door. Pooh then walked up to the door and knocked.

"Uhp, he's here!" Trip said.

"What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!" Grace said.

"No, he's supposed to be here now!" Trip said.

"God... Trip!" Grace said. Soon, the door opened.

"ADA..." Trip said. He then noticed the seventeen people and Pooh. "Wait... you're not Adam..." Trip said.

"Erm... No. We're not." Christopher Robin said. Pooh then began his... Oh god... He began his mandatory introduction sequence that takes about thirty minutes to do.

"This is Piglet, and Rabbit, and Tigger, and Christopher Robin, and Buzz Lightyear, and Twilight Sparkle, and Spongebob, and Sonic, and Amy, and Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa, and Shin-chan, and Lilo, and Ash, and Cynthia, and Eeyore..." Pooh said. As rehearsed, Eeyore said:

"Thanks for noticing..."

"And I'm Winnie the Pooh!" Pooh said. Only to notice the door was closed on him. If this was any play through, the game would have been over, but this is Pooh's Adventures, where the rails on the road go straight into the fixture. Simba then pounced through the door, breaking it open.

"JESUS CHRIST! IT'S A LION!" Grace said as Trip ran to go get something.

"Hey! Relax! We just want to talk!" Simba said. Grace screamed.

"HE'S TALKING TO ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Grace said. Trip then entered the room with a twelve gauge shotgun and pointed it at Simba.

"You have some nerve trying to eat my wife!" Trip said. He then pulled the trigger. As the famous Spike Spiegel once said...