Luke lay on the ground THinking "why DA FUCK is ma lightysaberie not killing dis shiny dude"

The shiny due in question stood there thinking "will this motherfucker with a masive glow stick hurry up i need to go frolic through a field of corn with my shallow fugly depresing wife bella"

"Excuse me?" Bella said as he took her hands. "im sorry darling i love you but your a ho, you did badger me for sex for a long time and well dear, you arent that great in bed."

Bella slapped him across the face. "FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY IS MYONLY ESCAPE TO GLORIOUS FICTION NOW!" she turned on her heal and stalked off.

Luke swung his lightsaber again edward simply caught it and gave him a depressing look, full of hurt. "Look i know you want me to suck your glow stick, who doesnt but i just...

"Wife trouble huh?" He asked with sympathy saturating his tone. Edward nodded, his lip trembling, before he broke down crying. "come here buddy." Luke said and caught him in a hug. edward sobbed on his shoulder.

"Just no one understands me...its been so hard...IT SO HARD TO BE SPARKLY!"

"I know buddy, i know" Luke comforted as he patted him on the back.

And everyone in the world jumped off a ciff cuz a ledge was hugging a sparkly parsnip.