12/14/12: And the World Ended
Author Note: Words can not describe the pain we all must be feeling inside, including myself.
Christmas is a time of joy of hope and cheer, and so many were getting in the holiday swing. But for those of you who don't know, there was a shooting today in Newton, Conn. here in the U.S.A. Twenty young children, ranging from the ages of 5-10, were killed, and so were seven adults. The shooter committed suicide, but today is a day infamy. This one shot dedicated to the lives that were lost, and to honor the families who know it's too early to talk about recovery.
Rest in peace, all of the twenty seven lives that ended today. The shooter can rot in Hell, despite some kind of personality disorder.
And may the Lord be with the ones who need Him most now.
The flashing lights barely cut through the dark numbness slowly forming around Kendall's heart and mind.
Not them. Please, not them.
His mother's knuckles were absoutely white from gripping the steering wheel as she scretched into the parking space, not caring about how straight it was as she burst out of the driver's seat. Her son was already ahead of her, however, and was running as fast as he could, right into the mess of the crying children and grieving families. Policemen and paradmetics were on his tail, shouting for him to stay away, but he was on a mission that wasn't going to be inturpted. His mind was absoutely set as he looked around wildly, his thoughts one thing and one thing only.
Where are they?
The principal was rushing toward him, probably knowing him from when himself went to the same school a year ago. The dishwater blonde strode to him quickly, gripping his arms even though he was shorter with a wild light in eyes.
"Where are they?! Where are my sisters?!"
The darkness was coming over the eleven year old's mind rabidly, the shock barely registering in his heart and soul. He was still stumbling on the road from recovery of losing his father at the age of nine years old, and to lose his two little sisters would be too much for him to handle at this point. Things were whirling rabidly as the principals face grew solemn and grim while he stumbled away, searching wildly and pushing anybody and anyobody out of the way.
Not them. Not them. Not them...
Katie was such a devil. She was a little schemer, but one with a certain wiseness and caring nature that made you love her. But Caeyln was different; she was the shy and meek one. She loved to help anyone she possibly could in need, and she was obviously a shy lover, not a fighter. She'd always been closest to her mother while Kendall was closest to his father, and then Katie was closest to their older brother, that being Kendall.
Even so, the three siblings loved each other and held each other strong during the loss of their father, and the eleven-year-old had always had a feeling they could endure anything together.
Just not the loss of beautiful, innocent, sweetheart indentical-twin little sisters.
He caught of glimse of light brown hair on a rushed passing gurney, and the youth tailed it instantly. His stomach, mind, and heart emptied when he realized it was the face of Caelyn, a gun shot wound on her chest and on her forehead, both bleeding freshly with her eyes shut weakly, face pale and body shaking like a fragile leaf. The fifth grade nearly shoved a paramedic off as he jumped on with her, his mother now at his heels as she gripped one of the other assistants.
"Is she going to be okay?!" his mother's eyes were wild, glossy and pleading as the other adult's face become grim and heartbroken.
God, please don't take her now...
The next hour was indescribable torture.
Kendall did everything: He paced, he twidled his thumbs, he cried in his mother's arms, he raked his hnds through his air, he threw up his lunch, he banged his head on the way. His mind was full of nothing but grief and worry; the expression his mother wore was the same. Their Katilyn and their Caelyn were both checked in, being in the same class, both with gunshot wounds.
The only difference was that Caelyn headed straight to Intensive Care.
Before the old doctor could say a word, the youth's heart burst. He knew then and there that he'd lost one of his little sisters that day, and his stomach rolled and fell, taking his soul with it, when he saw the name on this piece of paper that doctor carried with a trembling hand.
Caelyn Amanda Knight.
There were no words.
The small casket was lowered slowly into the grave; her grave. He'd done nothing but stare emptily for the past three days, just holding her small body at the wake with eyes that hadn't produced a tear yet. His mother, on the hand, had done nothing but cry and hide away, both of them silently struggling to comfort each other when they simply couldn't. It was simply too much for them to bear, especially after their father/husband dying barely two years before; their faces were tortured as they screamed silent cries of help.
Katie hadn't been informed of the loss yet; the doctors were still fighting to keep her.
Caelyn had two bullets to her ribs, right next to her heart and one on her forehead. She'd died in Intensive Care and hadn't waken up the other time, just struggling for breaths before the lead poisioning overcame her small six-year-old metabalism. Her twin, on the hand, had a bullet in her stomach and was struck by the killer, who was apparently on some kind of ramage and shoved them aside.
Their lives weren't the only ones at stake/were lost, however. Twenty children, Caelyn included, had been killed, including seven adults, four of which were teachers. The murder had committed suicide just as the authorites arrvived, right in front of the eyes of the petrified children. Many other of the youths were in this very hospital, and families grieved openly all across America.
It seemed, though, that nobody had taken it harder than the Knight family- or at least those still hanging onto what they called life.
God, thank you.
The eleven-year-old boy just held onto his other little sister, still not speaking, silently praising the Lord.
She'd surrvived her on wounds, and was now sleeping somewhat peacefully, Her breathing was still slightly faultered, but her heart was going almost at normal speed and she was confirmed stable. Their mother was sobbing too hard from relief too visit at that paticular moment; she wasn't there to see her living daughter's eyes slowly flutter open.
"Kenny?" her voice was hoarse and shaky, "is...is Caelyn okay?"
She read his face before he could speak, and slowly, tears filled her beautiful brown eyes. As she cried opnely into his chest, for the first time in five days, the hotness of tears filled and splashed out of his own eyes.
The two of them grieved together, and for a few minutes in life, the two of them were one heart, one mind, sharing the loss of one beautiful little girl.
"Are we going to be okay?"
The innocent, soft-spoken question hung in there for seemingly forever. He looked down from staring into the darkness that had been consuming him for the past couple of weeks, down to his living sister. Both her and her mother hadn't spoken much, bursting into tears at random times as the three of them stayed hidden from society. The school had just reopened, but going to it was completely out of the question.
Kendall had blocked everyone out, anyway- including his three best friends.
But now, for the first time since they'd all lost Caelyn, he considered replying. The trouble was, however, that he didn't know the answer to that question.
Recovery was obviously out of the question- or at least it seemed that way. She'd had a special place in his heart, and now that place was vaccent, leaving him to be half-alive and half in reality. The thin line between sanity and total insanity was even thinner as he tipped in and off of it; he was a total mess of a human being. He was the only male left in their family, but he couldn't see himself being strong.
But I have too, for Mom's and Katie's sake...
Can I really be that strong now?
Keith Kenneth Knight
He will be missed by his wife and loving children forever
His eyes misted as he dropped to his knees in front of his father's grave. Beside it, another grave made his heart scream:
Rest In Peace
Caelyn Amanda Knight
She was far too young, and her life was cut far too short. She will be missed deeply by her mother, Kendall, and Katie.
Two graves stayed side by side now, both of them creating holes deep within his heart. Slowly, he sank to his knees, pressing his forehead to the graves. The hollowness was his entiire being, and his chest ached with emptiness of a full heart now more than ever.
I miss you two...
Her soft voice pulled him back into reality. She was standing in the doorway, her eyes bloodshot as she clutched Caelyn's favorite stuffed bunny in her arms, trembling lightly. Her face was spooked, and his hollowed out heart reached out to her instantly.
"Nightmare?" he asked softly, and when she nodded, he opened his armsand allowed her to crawl in his lap, "I'm sorry."
"You'll protect me..." her voice was shaking so much as she asked uncertaintly, "right? Like...like you used to?"
Oh my gosh.
It hit him like a ton of bricks.
Caelyn was dead now.
But Katie wasn't.
"Yes..." his voice trembled and cracked as tears poured out of his eyes, holding onto her small body far all her worth and making a silent vow, "I promise I'll always protect you."
And I'll sooner die that break that promise.
The world seemed to stop turning as the three of them stood together.
There was no doubt in the world that the Knight family wasn't the toughest family there ever was. The three of them stood there, unsinkable and solemn, before their loved ones graves. They were now a trio for a family that was a five-piece for nine years, and then a quadrupal for two. But they were all with each other, both sides half alive as they united within their souls.
This was their infamous day, the day the lost the bubbliness of the house. This was the day the world ended.
But on this day, as they stood unbreakable and as a family, they continued on their road to learning to live again.