First Arc; Awakening
My standard form of writing applies.
" " - Spoken
' ' - Thought
( ) - Commentary. You should know how this goes by now. I see things, I have snarky smartass comments, you want laughs. I see a mutually beneficial deal here.
Chapter 1: Revamped.
Took a look back, and realized how much my writing sucked way back when.
So I said fuck it, I'm bored, might as well rewrite some of this with more awesome and less ass.
"Augh..." I woke up from a rather nice dream, I just couldn't remember what it was about. I bloody hate that.
I was awoken by the sound of someone groaning in absoltue anguish. It took several long, painful moments to realize it was coming from me.
With no small amount of effort, I opened my eyes, pulling myself up into a sitting position. All around me, I could see was-
A blur of color.
As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, something became apparent. My hands weren't MY hands.
I blinked. Once, twice. Then looked at the digits in question, turning them over. They were far too small to be mine.
'What the bloody fucking-?'
. . .
I immediately looked around, and realised I was NOT in my bed, nor even in my own room. Seeing this, I jumped out of the warm bed, dashing over to the closest window. It was dark outside, but there was just enough light for there to be a clear reflection.
What I saw disturbed me. Dark eyes, dark hair, vaguely emo expression, hair like-
Like a duck's ass. The face was boyish, young and handsome, with pale white skin that contrasted the ebony hair and irises.
I blinked, looking at... My, reflection.
"What the hell?" I muttered to myself, voice rather high pitched and whiny.
Now normally, I am tall, muscular, and ruggedly handsome, with a prickly buzzcut. I am also seventeen, not friggin' twelve! What the helling hell?
Then I noticed something. The face I saw in the window, it was familiar. It looked like...
(Quit stalling! There's no bloody dramatic effect from pauses in writing!)
Like Sasuke Uchiha. From Naruto.
'Either I'm dreaming, or there's some seriously fucked up shit going on.'
As I pinched myself in the side, no, I realized, I was not dreaming.
"Oh, this is just fucking lovely." The irate growl that escaped my lips was more akin to a purr than a growl, which further annoyed me. After sitting back down on the edge of the bed, my mind began churning, intricate webs of suspicions and intrigue spinning.
But I kept drawing a blank as to how or why I was here.
With a heavy sigh, I mumbled to myself, "Hamster must've fell off the wheel... This is getting me nowhere. I need more information."
Well, what do I do... Stay here? Nah, too boring, nothing to be done or gained.
Eh, why not. If this is some kind of dream or halucination, I might as well have fun. Before I set about looking around the room, I tried to recall the last few conscious memories I had.
...Nothing. I fell asleep, and BAM! Here I was. But there was something odd, rattling around in my brainbox. I distinctly remember going to the academy yesterday, and meeting Kakashi Hatake.
The guy smelled like a wet dog, mixed with some kind of faintly feminine perfume. Seriously, weird.
I remember learning, learning to fight, to kill, to use chakra. I felt oddly strong, and yet, those memories felt uncomfortable, as if they were not mine. Which is absolutely right, they're Sasuke's... Now mine.
Putting all that aside, I decided to wing it for one day. I'd worry more about what I'll do after I see the world through these eyes.
After poking around the room, I found a drawer filled with clothes, and another loaded with weapons and gear. Equipment a ninja would use. Steel wire, kunai, shuriken, caltrops, scrolls, exploding tags, soldier pills, mesh armor, rations bars, grappling hooks, rope, climbing spikes, and a myraid of other assorted items.
Figuring I'd go with my own style, I pulled a pair of cargo pants and the Uchiha's trademark short-sleeve, high-collar shirt. Before that, of course, I put on the mesh underarmor. It was surprisingly heavy, but very comfortable. After swapping outfits, I threw on a pair of armored gloves, strapped on a pair of sandals, (I was so going to see about a decent pair of boots later on) I decided on equipment...
I strapped two pouches to the back of my belt, each filled with a variety of gear, one in particular I added several ration bars. I had a feeling this was particularly early in the series; earlier, when looking around, I couldn't find a picture of Team 7, of Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.
There was also a note on the nightstand, the handwriting looking vaguely familiar.
Get up early. No breakfast. Training field 3.
This kinda tipped me off. So this is what, episode two? Or three? (Four, actually) Either way.
Today's supposed to be the day of the bell test, huh?
Looking over at the clock, it was only five forty; I had time. When I was about to leave the bedroom, I noticed something.
A blue object resting on the drawer next to the door. A hitai-ate; Leaf village headband and forehead protector. Picking it up, I unfolded it, before making a bandana and tying it around my forehead, matting down and hiding the duckbutt hairstyle.
Now that I was looking and feeling a bit more like myself, I left the room and went searching for the kitchen.
It was a good sized house, not an apartment. I figured it must've been inside the Uchiha compound, judging from the clan symbols on every other wall. Think it's supposed to be a fan or a paper lantern. Looks more like a fucking fishing lure to me, but then again, I'm American, not Japanese.
An odd thought struck me. 'That note was written in english. Hell, I'm thinking in english. Oh god, I hope this place speaks english, too, I can't remember Japanese for shit.'
Knee-deep in thought, I found the kitchen and went about looking for, finding, and fixing a cup of ramen. Once that was done and down my neck, I made for the door and found myself outside, in the village of Konoha.
I'll save you the boring and tedious time I had searching for the training fields, but it took me roughly twenty minutes.
After I arrived, walking along a forest path for a good ten minutes, I saw something strange, but familiar. A blonde boy in an orange tracksuit, sitting on the ground, leaning against a large wooden post. There was a girl in a vaguely Chinese-looking red dress with garish pink hair next to him.
'Oh fuck, they really do have anime hair. What the hell gives you pink hair... Did her old man get his dick stuck in a cotton candy machine?'
Silently chuckling to myself, I noted their names, mentally applying them to the somewhat familiar faces. Naruto and Sakura, respectively. They looked different from the anime, though only slightly, being that they had far more detail to their expressions.
Huh... Wonder what today will bring, besides a pain in my ass. Dunno if I should strive to stick to what I remember of the script, or if I should fuck with it. I'm obviously not Sasuke, I don't have that quiet, brooding, emo attitude, and I doubt I can fake it very well or for very long.
Well, whatever. "Yo!" I called, finally getting within earshot.
Turning to me, they both enthusiastically pointed and shouted, "You're late!"
I smirked; it was a reflex, I couldn't help it. "And yet, I'm still here before Kakashi. Fifty ryo says he isn't here until after nine."
They both stared at me, gawking. Where was the angry, groaned 'Hn' response they were so used to?
"Uhh... I'll pass." Naruto was showing an out-of-character intellect, he knew I'd win. That, or he didn't have fifty ryo to waste.
Hang on a second. Ryo. The fuck is a ryo? I knew that, said it instinctively when I thought about currency, but I don't know what the fuck it is. Some kind of Naruto-verse equivalent of the Yen?
Christ, I'm going to keep having these mindfuck realizations all goddamn day, aren't I?
Doing my best to hide the growing irritation in my head, I said, "Smart. Either of you eat anything yet?"
Hearing this, they both shook their heads, staring at me in abject horror as Sakura whined, "Sasuke-kun! Kakashi-sensei said not to eat breakfast!"
I can't believe these people are that dumb. Aw, who am I kidding, they're just kids, of course they're dumb enough to believe that.
After quirking a brow, I responded, "And do you know why he said that?" She blinked, but before she could respond, I kept going. "That is to torture us for the test, and make us fight on empty stomaches. Believe it or not, it's better to eat and wind up puking than not eating anything and suffering even worse."
"Here," I reached into my pouch and pulled out two ration bars, tossing one to each of them, which they easily caught. Good reflexes... Better than what a child ought to possess. "You'll both be useless to the team if you don't have the strength to fight. Not to mention your growling stomaches will give away your positions."
Of course, they just stared at me, utterly silent, until I got annoyed and spat, "...What? Did I grow a second head I'm not aware of?"
The pair continued to stare, Sakura mumbling, "Sasuke-kun, are you alright? You're acting strange." She held onto the packaged energy bar, but didn't unwrap it.
Naruto, on the other hand, had shrugged and chowed down, grimacing all the while. "Ugh... It's like eating corkboard."
I snorted a laugh at his expression, remembering eating MRE's and freeze-dried survival food for months at a time. "Yeah, they're expensive to make, so they cut costs by taking out the flavor additives. And Sakura, as to my change of heart, I had something of an epiphany last night."
Sakura was about to speak, when Naruto gulped down the last bite of the nasty-tasting ration bar and rudely interrupted her. "Ulgh-eugh. Epifa-wha?"
Riiight, Naruto's a moron for like the first half of this series. Kid needs some ADHD meds somethign awful. "Epiphany. It means I realized I was a haughty, emo asshat with no friends, and that I wasn't living for myself, but for the ghost of a dead man. So I said fuck 'em, and decided I didn't want to be like my bastard brother." This sounds... Well, plausible. Or at least it is believable, considering my own happy-go-lucky personality. I'd have to do my best to at least maintaint the appearance of being Sasuke, at least for now.
"But Sasuke-kun..." Sakura started to whine, but thankfully, once again, Naruto interrupted her.
"No friends?! Teme, you were the most popular kid in the academy!" The boy was outright shocked, his jaw hanging.
This kid is going to annoy me with his boundless energy and blatant lack of tact or common sense. Alright, time to see how well I can fabricate a backstory. "Popular? Tch, I had fangirls who didn't know a damn thing about me, not unlike Fivehead here. They didn't like me, they liked the image I had; the unapproachable emo Uchiha. Believe me, I'd rather have one girl I enjoy being with instead of a whole horde of brainless bimbos following me around like lost puppies. None of those people were my friends." My frosty tone struck home, as intended, but Sakura flinched at the 'Fivehead' comment. Naruto just looked- Well, less annoyed at me than he had a moment ago.
"Sakura, you better eat up. You look like you haven't eaten in days." She snapped out of her reverie, blinking away whatever thoughts she was entertaining.
"Oh! Yeah... Right. Thank you." She sounded slightly dejected. Eh, I don't much care for anorexic girls, thanks.
Naruto piped up. "Yeah, thanks Sasuke!"
After all that, I walked over and plopped down next to one of the wooden posts, leaning my back against it.
We were going to be here for at least a couple hours.
Well, when I'm right, I'm right. We were there until around eleven thirty or so before Kakashi showed up, that lazy, bent prick.
"Yo." Kakashi arrived in a swir of leaves, carrying a large alarm clock and two bentos; boxed lunches.
'Ah, crap. Japanese words sounded out in english keep popping into my head, unbidden. That kinda weeaboo retardation pisses me off.'
Of course, as if we'd choreographed it beforehand, all three of us shot to our feet, dramatically pointing at the tall, cycloptic Jounin as we shouted, "YOU'RE LATE!"
He leaned backward comically, as if he'd been buffeted by a strong wind, playing along. "Yeah, sorry, I got lost on the-"
I cut in, intent on being a bit flippant for him trying to trick young kids. "On the road of life? Okay, I don't care if you're a jounin or a bloody kage, if I hear that excuse again, I'm burning your precious icha icha collection."
The tall man blinked owlishly; something about his mannerisms told me that was an incredible reaction, complete reflex, not one of his exaggerated reactions meant to make others think he's just a goofball. Especially considering the level of discipline he possesses. Less than a split second later, he did his trademark eye smile, pleasantly saying, "Well, aren't you just a warm, fuzzy bucket of sunshine?"
Even at the distance of eight or nine feet away, I could smell stale beer on his breath, the musk of sweat and sex, the reek of a wet dog, and just a hint of some kind of perfume... Feminine, but not girlish, something a grown woman would wear. Throwing all that together, particularly the stench of wet dog, I decided to fuck with his head, just a little. "Yeah, and right now I'm in a good mood. Just wait until I'm pissed off. What were you doing, anyway? Sleeping in? Boning Tsume Inuzuka? Or were you just standing in front of the memorial stone again?"
Kakashi blinked, hard, a rare look of actual shock in his eye, and under his masks. 'What the hell... How did he know that? What's with this kid?'
A moment later, having regained his composure, he said, "...Have you been following me? Are you sure you're an Uchiha and not a Hyuuga?"
I shrugged at his offhand pun. "Hey, I'm arrogant, but I'm not that stuck up. Hinata excluded from that stereotype, of course. She's just a bit of a stalker, but hey, any hobby but killin' cats, am I right? And no, I'm just very good at reading you."
The Jounin blinked owlishly once more, his mind obviously hard at work, before getting back on topic. "Moving on... Your test is to acquire these bells." He withdrew the objects from his pocket to hold them up, showing them off theatrically. "To pass, you must get a bell within the hour. The one who doesn't, will get sent back to the academy. They will also be tied to one of those posts, and forced to watch while the rest of us eat lunch."
For a moment, I considered telling him we just ate to see his reaction, since it would be hilarious, but since Naruto and Sakura objected to the man's plan, I didn't bother. Not that they decided to mention chowing down just before he arrived, either. I idly wondered if he'd been here awhile, watching us, and already knew about it...
But I brushed off the thought. It was irrelevent. After the little arguement between Kakashi and the two dorks, the Jounin continued. "Now, remember, you're a team from this moment onward. Are there any questions?"
I raised my hand. "Yeah... Why are you giving us such a contradictory test?"
"What do you mean?" His voice was neutral, so I had no clue if he was surprised. Probably not, ain't much that'd shock that man, particularly after I screwed with his head.
Anyway. "I mean, we pass or fail as a team, you said so yourself yesterday, didn't you? I remember hearing that somewhere. And yet you're now saying that one of us will be sent back, leaving only two promoted to genin? That in itself is meant to turn us against one another. Not to mention, you're giving us an impossible goal. Individually, there is no way any of us can get those bells from you, a Jounin; the legendary Copy Ninja Kakashi Hatake. The entire point of this test is teamwork, yet you're acting as if this is pass or fail on an individual level. Is there a reason for the deception, or do you just enjoy messing with genin?"
He blinked, HARD. That's the best way I could describe his reaction. "You figured all that out by yourself? Just now? Yes, there is a reason, to see if you could overcome your individual goals and put the team's needs ahead of your own. Thank you for ruining that. Good job," He sarcastically congratulated me, once more showing off his eye smile.
I used my patented psycho-killer smile-head-tilt. "Just for you, Ero-sensei."
Kakashi was taken aback, downright flabberghasted by this kid, Sasuke. The boy was nothing like his psyche profile; it spoke of a depressed, angry, angst-ridden teenager looking to kill his brother. This Sasuke seemed... Different, though it may not be a bad thing, if he's anywhere near as intelligent as he seemed to be. Kakashi filed that information away, he would speak with the Hokage about it later.
"And now you're calling me that? I thought that was Minato's thing... Regardless, back to the task at hand. What Sasuke said is right, the goal of this exercise is teamwork, so work together if you want to pass. But you must come at me with the intent to kill. Understand?" We all nodded in unison, the other two still slightly in shock at the revelation of the test's true purpose.
"Good. Now... Begin!"
Of course, we scattered. I dashed to the right, moving in the same direction as Sakura, whereas Naruto-
That blockhead decided to take Kakashi head-on. What an idiot.
While he went at our sensei with taijutsu, I waited for my own chance; I knew Naruto would create a perfect opening.
Several moments later, when Kakashi got behind Naruto, ready to Kancho him half to death, I shouted, "NARUTO! DROP AND BACK-KICK!"
Just as Kakashi was shouting the name of his super-awesome/gay technique, Naruto took my advice to heart, dropped to the ground and kicked his leg out, catching Kakashi-
Right in the balls. Ooof... Owch.
As Kakashi's eye bulged out, more in shock than in pain, he dropped to the ground, groaning in agony. Being an enterprising individual, Naruto snatched the bells off his belt and took off, headed in my direction.
I rushed out of my hiding spot, moving towards his position as Sakura did the same, all of us changing direction and heading for a single spot in the treeline. We'd hide and plan out a strategy before he recovered.
Or, we would, except he was a Jounin for a reason. Roughly six seconds after getting both eggs cracked, he pushed himself back to his feet, growling as he ruefully massaged his aching balls, probably trying not to vomit through his mask.
Naruto was grinning like mad, while I was cackling like mad, wondering if Kakashi truly was all that, if Naruto could get the better of him right out of the academy.
We were running like hell through the trees when Kakashi decended upon us like a demon, landing a solid kick to Naruto's back and sending him sprawling. The bells went flying, and I dove onto them, just in time for our enraged sensei to send me into a tree with a second ki-
"Guahh-!" My back slammed into the tree, knocking the breath from my lungs.
'Shit! I can... Barely follow his movements!'
Damn, he was fast. And that hurt like hell. Agh. Entire body feels like I just got sucker-punched by a freight train.
I had the bells, but-
He was fast approaching, ten feet, five, three-!
Falling back on instinct, I turned and rolled out of the way, tucking myself into a ball and just barely avoiding a fist that cracked the bark of the tree I had just been next to, as I pushed myself to my feet.
Taking off as fast as I could, I saw Naruto on his feet, moving a different direction, following Sakura. I followed, knowing full well that if I could hardly follow his movements with my eyes, there was no way in hell my body could match Kakashi's.
I had to count on avoiding... Or out-maneuvering. With a wry smirk, I decided to use my smaller body stature to my favor.
We were inside the tree line, so!
I ducked, throwing myself to my right, grabbing a tree root to pull myself around, pushing off the tree itself to get myself going. I didn't bother looking back, he was surely just behind me. After another five steps I jumped, catching the nearest tree branch in both hands, and used my momentum to spin myself upward and around, intent on getting behind the quick-moving Jounin.
As he was mid-stride, my feet collided with the small of his back, my body weight and momentum knocking him to the ground, face-first.
Heh. It pays to think like a monkey.
Knowing his skill and speed, I couldn't hesitate. The moment he hit the ground, I took off, using his head as a stepping-stone. Oh, he had to be pissed.
I know this, since he caught my ankle.
. . .
With growing apprehension, I turned my head, glancing behind me. And what I caught sight of would make Hannibal Lecter piss himself in sheer fright.
The killing intent rolled off of him in waves, actually bringing a chill up my spine. It was, ah, rather invigorating. "...I take it you want these back?" I dangled the bells from my fingers, cheekily taunting him.
As he reached for them I snatched them backward, clenching my hand around them, a cocky grin on my face.
"Ah-ah, sensei. You said our goal was to acquire them... We got them. We passed, according to your rules." I grinned, nice and big and mocking.
He decided to rain on my parade, except the rain was piss. "I never said the test was over, now did I? You have to hold onto them for the entire hour. Now hand them over, or things are going to get rough."
At his tone, I thought on that for a moment. I'm certain he's allowed to inflict non-permanent injuries... That probably includes beating the hell out of us, within reason. In a split-second, I gauged my ability and willingness to have my ass beaten proper by someone twice my size.
'Fuck that. I gots an idea.'
"Well, since you asked nicely..." I held out the bells, while he had my shirt bunched up in a fist, holding me still. When his other hand reached for them-
I remembered he had his legs spread in a wide stance as he towered over me, with a clear view of prime targets number one and two. I never let my eyes so much as glance there, lest I give away my intent.
When his wrapped his hand around the bells in an iron grip, I kicked my foot out, smartly clocking him in the balls for the second time this morning. He already had the bells in his grip, but his hold on my shirt loosened as he groaned angrily, so I scrabbled out of his grasp, turned and ran like hell.
Oh, I was going to pay for that later, but it was funny as hell. If you let yourself get kicked there twice, you deserved it.
I ran like the wind, ducking and dodging through the trees, before taking a hiding spot and waiting for a moment to catch my breath.
When I wasn't immediately grabbed by the scruff of my neck, I looked around for my teammates. They were together, hiding and looking out for myself and Kakashi, hidden under a bush. I could see them quite clearly, because Naruto's orange ass stuck out like an erection at a convent.
With a little finnesse, I snuck through the underbrush, and got a little closer to them. When we all heard something moving, I stopped and looked in the direction it came from out of the corner of my eye, keeping my body entirely still; movement is what attracts the eye more than anything else.
Kakashi staggered out of the treeline a good ways off, walking bow-legged and cradling his smashed nuts. Oh, ho-ho, this was golden. I kinda wish that sadist Anko was here... She'd get a kick out of that and probably poke fun at him. He let untrained genin kick him the balls not once, but twice. She'd laugh her pretty tits off at his ineptitute, probably whack him there a third time for good measure.
Satisfied that the Jounin wasn't actively looking for us right this second, I crawled through the bushes until I got to Naruto and Sakura.
"So what should we-" Sakura whispered, her voice far too loud, like stage whispering.
I interrupted, far more quietly. "Oy. Sorry, but he got the bells back, and I just found out we need to acquire them, and maintain possession of them when the alarm goes off. Cruel bastard."
The two just stared. I was really going to have to work on that. Naruto muttered, "Shit. Well, you were right, we can't take him on conventionally. Any ideas?"
I grinned mischivously. "Of course, I always have a cunning plan. But be aware, now that he's been clocked in the crotch twice, he won't let us get him with that again. Aim for the face next time. Now, believe it or not, he's very homophobic, so what I suggest, is that we..."
Hahahahahahahaha, I was an evil son of a bitch, there can be no doubt. Thirty minutes later, and exactly four minutes until the end of the test, as Kakashi walked along the stream, he grumbled to himself, nursing his sore testicles.
"Rrgh... What male justifies hitting his own teacher in the groin, ought to see how they like it. Or call Anko down here and let her do the honors..." As he groaned and moaned, he heard something familiar.
"YOSH! KAKASHI, MY ETERNAL RIVAL! THERE YOU ARE!" As Kakashi turned, he caught sight of Might Guy, his colleague and longtime friend. Of course, he was wearing his trademark green spandex tracksuit and Chuunin vest, replete with his ever-present pearly-white grin.
Not exactly surprised by his presence, Kakashi greeted his old friend. "Guy? Well... I could use a distraction. What brings you here?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow, wondering why Guy would show up during the genin test, he was usually a very, very particular sort when it come to propriety and protocol.
Might Guy just kept grinning at him, proudly procliaming, "I have found your weakness, Kakashi! Never again will I lose to you, my rival!" Once again, his friend didn't know the meaning of the word volume.
He was also coming far too close to be comfortable.
But Kakashi Hatake was not one to back down from a challenge, and he found what the flamboyant man said rather interesting. "My weakness? Really? Well, what is it, then?" He mused, ready to start laughing his ass off at whatever his old friend had come up with... If it was, indeed, his old friend. It wouldn't surprise him if this was simply a ploy by his new team; the boy Sasuke seems remarkably observant, he wouldn't put it past the young Uchiha to knows of his friendship with Might Guy.
His comrade shouted, "MY OWN PERSONAL FLAMES OF YOUTH!" In that instant, Guy tore off his trademark green spandex, revealing a massive foot-long, forearm-thick cock swinging between his knees, and he dashed forward, seizing the copy ninja in a bear hug!
It was official; this had to be a prank by his new genin. Kakashi found the kid's plan to be obnoxious and nauseating, but also surprisingly ingenious as he played along, comically shouted, "Guahh! Let go! Let me go! GET OFF OF ME!" He expected something to tug the bells from his belt while he was distracted, and he was not disappointed.
Because at that exact moment, Naruto popped out of a nearby bush behind his teacher, creeped over, and snatched the bells off of his belt before turning and dashing back into the treeline, his mission completed.
Noting how well they'd planned this, Kakashi mentally relented; he would make them genin. But he would have vengeance for this little farce, and for his sore nuts.
Quite suddenly, Might Guy released him, stepping backwards with his trademark grin and swinging horsecock. "YOSH! HOW UNYOUTHFUL! Kakashi, I never would have pegged you for a bigot!"
Of course, the moment he was released, Kakashi reached out and smacked his old friend right on top of his head, completely nonplussed when the big man disappeared in a cloud of smoke, replaced by a grinning Sasuke. "Interesting plan... Disgusting and utterly suicidal,"
Just as the alarm sitting a few feet from him begain, Kakashi casually smacked it with the palm of his hand, instantly continuing like he hadn't just moved faster than the human eye could track. "But effective, and very well executed. I'm honestly surprised by how well you know me. Seeing as I only learned you would be my students a few days ago, you haven't had a lot of time to study me... Thoroughly enough to know my interpersonal relationships, even, I'm almost flattered. I would like to know whom you asked to learn about me."
"You really have to ask?" Sasuke just chuckled, grinning as his teammates approached from the trees, each carrying a bell. "It's a ninja village, people around here gossip like schoolgirls. All I had to do after hearing your name was take a peek at personnel records, wasn't difficult. Your file looked like someone dumped an inkwell on a blank page and glued a picture of you in the corner, mask and all. Wasn't much, but with a general idea of what you looked like, I disguised myself and started hitting bars, hoping to get lucky."
The Copy Ninja blinked owlishly. This kid was dedicated, he'd give him that much... But Kakashi hadn't been to a bar since last week. This made Kakashi suspicous. "Ahh. Followed me to the bar, did you?"
Surprisingly, the kid shook his head. "Nope, never saw you, just overheard some conversations between other Jounin about you. Probably a good thing you weren't there, you're perceptive enough to recognized me as the only one not drinking amongst a group of drunken shinobi."
'Very interesting...' Kakashi thought, half believing the kid's story. 'This kid is going to far as a ninja.'
Kakashi considered failing them, just for shits and giggles. But they did quite well, better than any other group he has trained. This Sasuke in particular showed extreme intellect, insight, combat ability, and strategic planning. Not to mention, he was willing to bend the rules for the benefit of the team, as the Jounin had witnessed before the test had even begun. He has great potential, but his flippant attitude and problems with authority might cause problems.
The second, Naruto, showed great combat ability, but a slight lack of intellect and planning. Still, he was fearless, and he did well working with others. Kakashi would need to see more of his capabilities to know what to expect from him.
The third he hadn't seen much of. From what he had heard, Sakura is a very intelligent girl with a nasty, violent temper, but also lovesick over Sasuke; to boot, Naruto has a crush on her. Could cause issues with team dynamics.
As the Copy Ninja went over these things in his mind, he considered what he should do.
"You all..." All three of his students looked at him with hope in their eyes. He considered failing them just to see the looks on their faces, but he wasn't that cruel. He wasn't Ibiki, after all. "Pass."
"Ha-ha! Yessah! Dattebayo!" Naruto jumped, pumping his fist.
"Shannaro!" She did the same fist pump, looking decidedly unlady-like.
"Heh. So what's our first order of business, teach? Are you gonna treat your new students to a meal? Y'know, to encourage us to bond with one another?" Sasuke leaned back against one of the posts, looking slightly smug, but not overconfident. It fit him, somehow... Like he was a man at the top of his game, and he knew it.
Kakashi confirmed his earlier analysis; the other two he could handle, but the Uchiha? Sasuke would be trouble. "You're just trying to get a free meal, aren't you? Well, I suppose I must."
Naruto piped up, still grinning from ear to ear. "Awesome! I know the perfect place!"
Sasuke shot Kakashi a sideways look. "I'll bet you a million ryo that it's a ramen stand."
The Jounin raised an eyebrow, somewhat amused. "Sorry, but I'm not that gullible."
Unable to control himself, the arrogant Uchiha smirked, snarking, "And who is the one with smashed testicles here?"
Kakashi's hand twitched, itching to grab the boy by his throat and throttle him until he puked or passed out, whichever came first. 'Yup, Sasuke will definitely be trouble...'