Naruto; What If

Eleventh Arc; The Hunt

My standard form of writing applies.

" " - Spoken

' ' - Thought

"Jutsus" - Jutsu. Some are kinda bastardized, so don't expect much.

( ) - Commentary. You should know how this goes by now. We see things. I have snarky smartass comments. You want laughs. I see a mutually beneficial deal here.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Good times and bad.

This is this by far the longest chapter I have yet written. And I fucking love it.

But I'm splitting it in two, for... Practical purposes.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Chapter 74 - The Red Wedding

~~Badadumdunbum~~

*Sasuke*

It all happened so fast. One moment he was standing there with his family, with Kuro-chan on his arm and Kitsuchi holding Hiro, everyone smiling and laughing. Sasuke was happy.

God or Jashin, the Shinigami or fate, or whatever it is, the cruel deity that controls his life could not stand for that to happen. Sasuke could not be happy.

There was a blood-curdling scream and the Uchiha spun, sharingan blazing, as something moving incredibly fast brushed by him.

"GUAGH!" Kitsuchi howled, the burly man hitting the ground with incredible force.

"PAPA!" Kuro-chan's scream matched her father's as Sasuke took in the form of the masked man staring him down, swathed in a black trench coat covered in red cloud motifs.

But the masked man himself wasn't what had Sasuke's attention as the other shinobi wedding guests converged on him, moving in slow motion to Sasuke's eyes.

"Papa!" It was the panicking boy clutched in Obito's arms that had everyone captivated.

"OBITO!" Sasuke roared as his chakra surged to its utmost limit, an ebody aura erupting from his body, twisting and contorting in the air like black flames. The other shinobi ground to a halt as they surrounded the masked man, all of them giving the black miasma a wide berth. With every slow, deliberate step Sasuke took towards the man in the orange mask, the ground cratered beneath his feet, and every word promised righteous retribution. "You stand before the full might of Konoha, against five of the Kage, two Sannin, thirty Jounin, and three Jinchuuriki. You know what I am capable of... And you would dare threaten my son...?"

"Oh-ho! Quite strong, aren't you? But there's nothing you can do to me before little Hiro is separated from his head, even Minato wasn't that fast. So here's what's going to happen. You're going to cut your own throat, let little Hiro and everyone else watch Konoha's tame monster bleed to death... Or else you're going to watch this little tyke choke on his own blood."

Sasuke did not react for several seconds, his anger plainly visible as the ebon aura surrounding him waxed and waned in time with with breathing, growing ever larger by the second. For him, he and Obito and Hiro were alone, trapped within a locked room; he could see nothing and no one else, save for the man clutching his only son.

"Who are you, Obito? A rogue shinobi? An Uchiha? A madman?... You are nothing. Nothingbut the shadow of a dead man, seeking vengeance that is not yours to claim. I am the patriarch of the Uchiha clan, and by rights, I denounce you Excommunicate Traitoris. You are Uchiha no more. But seeing as you wish so dearly to see a monster... Then watch closely. And don't blink."

His eyes shoot wide as they change, rinnegan forming.

*BA-BMP!*

Sasuke vanishes, and the masked Obito is rent asunder, sticky white gunk flying everywhere as his entire body is shredded into thousands of infinitesimal pieces, Hiro safely pulled from his grasp by a shadow clone.

As the Last Uchiha skids to a stop, his elder brother appeared at his side and the scattered remains of the masked man suddenly burst into flames as black as pitch, while the eery black chakra surrounding Sasuked receded tiredly. Sasuke sways on his feet, panting raggedly and his arms shaking, held vertical only by Itachi's steady hand. Both brothers held their right eyes clenched shut as tears of blood dripped onto their formal clothing, each a mirror image of the other.

Five seconds... As powerful as Sasuke was, that was his limit.

He could take the currents of time within his grasp, and bend them to his will, bringing time itself to a screeching halt. By throwing everything he was, every fiber of his being, every last shred of focus, every weighty ounce of his iron will into this, his ultimate technique; the greatest power any mere mortal could ever hope to achieve, and with it, he could stop time.

For a scant five seconds.

"Are you alright, Sasuke?" Next to him, Itachi was now certain, having witnessed this ability a second time. Sasuke did not merely move at impossible speeds, he moved while everything around him stopped. An impossible ability, granted by the reality-altering Rinnegan.

"...He threatened Hiro. He threatened my son. I'm gonna kill 'em. GONNA KILL 'EM!" Sasuke quietly seethed through grit teeth, the acrid taste of blood filling his mouth. "I will break him, I will kill him, I will unmake him! I will tear down all he has built, destroy every last shred of evidence that he ever existed, and slaughter everyone that follows him!" The purest rage imaginable had the younger brother tight within its grasp, only his complete, utter exhaustion keeping him from pacing or lashing out in his fury.

"We will make that traitor suffer for this. I swear it, Sasuke. But this was not an assassination attempt..."

"I know! It was a feint, and a check. He wanted to see what I can do, wanted to tell me that my family is not safe from him. He wants me angry. Unfortunately for him, he has succeeded!"

A small smile appeared on Itachi's face. Even as infuriated as he was, Sasuke's tactical and strategic thinking had not been compromised. In fact... His anger may have sharpened his mind. He was as ready as he would ever be, so Itachi decided he would speak with Kakashi and Shikaku later. "We will begin planning at first light tomorrow. For now, you must alleviate their fears, little brother. Your village worries for you, your comrades are terrified for you, and your family needs you. You will see to them tonight, for tomorrow, we go to war."

"...Very well, brother." His bloody eye locked on Itachi's. "The first thing we will do is correct the weakness of the Mangekyo, we will need every advantage. Tell Tsunade to prepare to transplant our eyes in the morning. "

Itachi's eyes widened considerably. "I see... Afterward, we will begin training in the most powerful ability of the Mangekyo. I had hoped you would never need it..."

"The Susanoo."

~~Badadumdunbum~~

After Hinata and Neji ensured there were no other interlopers within the village, the rest of the wedding reception was far more tense than anyone would dare to admit, though Sasuke did all he could to put on his best fascimile of Naruto's goofy, happy-go-lucky grin. But behind that mask, he was still seething, still furiously planning his vengeance. Any whom dared to threaten his family would die.

Screaming.

His conversation with the Tsuchikage was more in regards to the safety of Kuro-chan and Hiro than his plans for Kuro-chan to take his place in the coming years, but he agreed with Sasuke that she should remain with him and finish learning the Hiraishin before returning to Iwagakure.

Kakashi and Itachi vanished soon after, as did Tsunade and Jiraiya. They were going to begin preparing, of course. The reception wrapped up without much fanfare, Naruto's clones handling the grand majority of the cleanup. The blonde insisted on staying over with his wife, and Sasuke's Anbu team made the same demand. The Uchiha knew it mattered little at this point, since Obito obviously wouldn't show up the same day his Zetsu clone did. But he saw no reason to deny them their contribution, to assuage their own worries.

Kuro-chan was inconsolable, wide-eyed and clutching Hiro uncomfortably tight, so much so that Hiro whined about her grip hurting. Sasuke ruffled his hair and kissed his wife, pulling them tight to his chest without a word. He could think of nothing that would banish her terror, because behind his anger, Sasuke was so very afraid for them.

Afraid of what he would become, if they were taken from him.

His beloved Anko-hime had kept him together, cauterized the damage, and kept him from becoming something inhuman. But Kurotsuchi and Hiro... His time with them had restored his humanity bit by bit, and he was almost whole again.

Only Anko and Itachi had recognized this, for they knew Sasuke better than anyone else.

That night, at his Hime's request, he put Kuro-chan and Hiro to bed with one of his clones, holding them tight while he and Anko made their way to his old bedroom, the one in which they had first met. It was hardly different from what either of them remembered, and in time, it would become Hiro's room.

But tonight...

He activated the sound-suppressing seals, sitting down on the edge of his old bed, placing his head in his hands. Her soft arms wrapped around him, still draped in her wedding gown.

It was, indeed, different from anyone else's idea of a wedding dress. It was strapless, form-fitting and cut short, the hem ending a few inches above her knees, where her stockings began, while her lucious, royal purple hair was kept loose and untied. It was rare to see her out in public without her hair tied up in a loose ponytail with the same ribbon she'd had for years, the one that had become his talisman.

She kissed him, and he hesitantly returned her affection, unable to put his heart into it. "I... I can't tonight, Hime. Too much on my mind."

"It's alright, Gaki. I know you never thought our wedding night would end like this. ...Heh, bet you never thought youd'd be marrying two women at once, either."

He couldn't help but crack a smile, nuzzling her cheek. "Well... Maybe the thought crossed my mind, once or twice... They would have forced the clan restoration act down my throat at some point."

Anko snorted, running her fingers through his hair, rubbing his ears again. "Yeah? Which two girls was it, in this fantasy?"

"If I said Ino and Sakura, would you be angry?"

"No, I'd just call you a bad liar."

He chuckled. "How about Hinata and Tenten?"

"Then I'd say your ambition knows no bounds. Neji would try to kick your ass... And you'd beat him half to death with the stick up his. If you'd managed to win Hinata's heart, I'd have been thoroughly impressed. Heh, heheheh, only way you'd seduce the little princess is if you dyed your hair and stole Naruto's wardrobe, though."

"Believe it. But it wasn't those two, either."

"Yeah? Then who was it?"

Sasuke could barely keep the grin off his face. "Kurenai and Tsume."

His beloved rolled her eyes with a snort of amusement, scritching just behind his furry ears the way he loved. "I'm glad your sense of humor is intact, Two-Point-Oh. Even if it is fucked up."

Sasuke wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close and kissing the woman he loves with all his heart, savoring her taste. "Love you, too, Hime."

"Mmhm. It's what I'm here for, Sasuke. I know how you feel... Like you have to be stong for them, to keep them from breaking down. You don't need to hide that from me... I'm sorry, but I have to ask a favor of you."

He slowly cocked a brow, taking in the strange, unreadable look in her beautiful chocolate eyes. "What is it, Hime?"

"Itachi taught you how to share memories, right?"

Sasuke heaved in a sudden breath, his eyes widening. "He... He did. What are you asking, Anko?"

She hesitated for a split second, steeling herself and saying, "I want us to share in everything. Joy and sorrow, pain and ecstasy. Everything."

"Why would you-?"

Anko looked him in the eye, trying to keep the tears from forming. "Because I want you to share with me the things you would never share with Kurotsuchi. Your weakness. Your pain. Your worries. I know you're stronger than anyone else I've ever met, but you can't carry it all on your own. Even with me, you try to put on a brave face." Her lips twitched into a lopsided smirk. "Badly, I might add."

The Uchiha rubbed the back of his head, chuckling nervously. "Eheheh, yeah, I always have had a bad habit of getting misty-eyed around you. What brought this on, Hime?"

"As close as we are, we barely know each other. Small talk isn't exactly your strong suit, nor mine. But we're more than just a couple, more than husband and wife, in spite of that. As happy as we are, it isn't the good times that forge bonds as strong as ours. If I'm to- To share you with another woman, I want you to share everything with me. I want to feel what you feel when you look at me, and what you felt when you lost me." She hesitated, fidgeting, almost like a teenager. "And I want you to know me just as intimately, to know what it means for me to commit to someone."

Sasuke was uncertain. "I... I don't know if I can, Hime. I don't know if I can endure seeing you with Kakashi again..."

"I have endured seeing you with Kurotsuchi, endured you bringing her child into our home. You can surely do this for me, my love."

His heart clenched, and it took him serious effort to speak, the words coming out thickly. "...I'm scared, Hime. I'm terrified that you- That you'll hate me when you see the things I have done. When I told you I became a monster... I was not exaggerating."

Anko grasped her husband around the back of his neck, and pulled him down to meet her lips. "I don't give a fuck if you're a monster, Sasuke! Just so long as you are MY monster."

The Uchiha was deeply moved, complete shock on his face for a mere moment... Before he smiled, and took his beloved into his arms, kissing her with everything he was. When they parted, she smiled at him, her hands roaming his body of their own accord. He ran his fingers through her hair again, the way they both loved. "Yes, Hime. Ask what you will of me; take what you need of me; and so long as you'll have me, everything I am is yours, now and forever, no matter what."

"Thanks, Gaki. I felt like an idiot for asking, but I- I... I can't help but feel inadequate, sometimes, like you keep me around just for my sake. I know that's not true, but she gave you a son, something I could never do, and it still bothers me when Kurotsuchi pulls you aside, or tries to keep you for herself. I can't stand the thought of her taking you away from-"

He kissed her again, his eyes changing, mangekyo sharingan taking form. "No one will ever take me away from you. I swear it. And Anko... Thank you. Thank you for always being here for me."

In the next instant, darkness took them...

~~Badadumdunbum~~

When they both opened their eyes, they were standing in a void as black as pitch, within arm's reach of each other. He reached out for her, taking his beloved wife into his arms. "I'm sorry, Anko, but there are things I've done that... That will hurt you. Are you certain you wish to do this?"

She nodded firmly. "Yes. I'm sorry, too. I... You've already seen the most shameful things I've ever done, and I'm sorry to make you go through them again. But I- I don't want either of us to ever doubt one another again."

"Lies are the source of tragedy," He agreed. "But Hime, I've never shared more than a few scant details like this, through hypnotism and genjutsu. Itachi never said anything about what could happen if one were to force all their memories into someone else, or take a lifetime's worth of memories from them. We are made by our experiences... And there's no telling what we could become, after doing this."

The kunoichi smiled up at her husband. She loved thinking of him as her husband, it gave her a sense of pride she never expected of herself. "We're already remarkably similar, or so everyone says. We almost never fight, and work together when we disagree. We survived the age difference, infidelity, the machinations of others, a child born of another woman... Even death couldn't keep us apart. We can do this."

Sasuke nodded, and with a wave of his hand, on one side, massive images appeared, memories going as far back as he could remember... The day of the bell test, when he woke up. It was strange, that he knew details and information from earlier in his life... But there were no discernable memories of them. Most curious.

On their other side, Anko's memories appeared, going all the way back to faint memories of her childhood, raised in an orphanage before attending the shinobi academy at a mere 5 years old. Sasuke reached out, willing the great wall of images to descend upon him, until the sensations began to assault his own senses.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Standing out amongst her peers as something of a prodigy, if a bit of a blockhead, Anko graduated from the Academy by the age of 10, during the Third Shinobi war. The strongest of those childhood memories were centered on her strange friendship with Kakashi Hatake, another prodigy; she used to bully him, being that at 6 years old, she was taller than the 8-year-old Kakashi, whom had already graduated and become a Chunin at that point.

One of the strongest memories she had, was when she just became a Genin, and challenged her friend Kakashi to a spar. The boy was thorough annoyed by her antics, depressed and angry after his father killed himself. So he came up with a special technique to humiliate the girl that had humiliated him so often.

"Ninja art: Hidden leaf ultimate technique! Secret finger jutsu: Thousand years of pain!"

*Sccclllrrrchk...!*

Anko's eyes crossed as she grit her teeth, the most agonizing, unfathomable pain striking her rear end as she was bodily launched into the air, leaving her stomach behind. She cascaded to the ground in a rather undignified position, great big crocodile tears streaming down her face.

That's when Kakashi planted his foot on her pulverized ass in triumph, crowing, "The next time you try to humiliate me, I'll do it again!"

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sasuke's lips twitched with mirth, ignoring the way the sensations she felt back then washed over him. "So that's how he created that technique."

Anko was idly rubbing her posterior, averting her gaze. "Ah-yup. That's the first time he ever used it."

"And it's also the reason you are adamantly against anal sex, I take it?"

She blanched, but nodded quickly. "Yep, that's uh, that's part of it. You'll see the rest later."

He smirked, sliding his hand down to grope one of her soft cheeks. "Remind me to tease your cute little ass when we're finished... I'm sure it's awful sensitive."

His wife blushed fiercely, mumbling under her breath

Sasuke released his hold over the stream of memories, opening the floodgates and letting them flow through him once more.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Assigned to a genin team, meeting Orochimaru for the first time, their first mission, their celebration... Happy memories that she cherished.

The missions came and went, and Anko was happy. She even forgave Kakashi in time, when he came to her and apologized. She was still set on paying him back, however...

Years passed by like mere minutes, growing with her team, developing a very strong bond with their teacher, the charismatic and serene Orochimaru. The Sannin was... Different, when he was younger.

From her perspective, the third shinobi war was far less personal than it was for Kakashi, just a subset of mission assignments they occasionally took part in with their beloved teacher. But of course, during the war, Konoha held Chunin exams to select appropriate shinobi to undertake more serious missions. She was 12 years old, not even five feet tall, and every bit as adorable as Sasuke imagined she could be with that lopsided grin she had. During the second portion of the exam, the battle royale phase, her team went up against Ibiki, Hayate, and some other Genin he did not recognize, one whose name she could not recollect. Despite her team losing, she was selected for promotion to Chunin, though she had the goal of making Jounin as fast as she could, seeing as Kakashi made Jounin at the tender age of 13. Later on, her team followed Orochimaru on a number of assignments, and they had their own assignments within the Land of Fire without the Sannin, but they suffered no real tragedy during the war.

Following the end of the war, there was a brief lull, with many innocuous missions. This was around the time that Kakashi approached Anko again, to apologize to her. After Obito and Rin had died, the cycloptic young Jounin finally mellowed out, and came to recognize the value of a friend. Anko accepted his apology, but swore upon her own grave that one day, when he least expects it, she was going to pay him back for violating her ass.

Life was good... Until October tenth, the Kyuubi attack. This hit Anko hard... She lost many friends that night, while she was forced to remain behind by the elder shinobi. She, alongside Kurenai, Kakashi, Guy, Asuma, Ebisu, Hayate, Genma, and many others were forbidden from defending the village against the Bijuu's attack. Her pride was awful sore, but logically speaking, she knew her level of ability was about as useful as a spitball against the Kyuubi's might.

Another year passed in the blink of an eye; the only things she truly enjoyed were the times she spent training under Orochimaru, or hanging about with her old friend, Kakashi. The young tomboy was still plotting petty revenge, of course, but she hadn't yet figured out how; Cycops was a consummate professional, and an outstanding shinobi that never really let his guard down.

Later that same year was when things went from happy childhood to miserable teenage years. Orochimaru brought her along for more 'special training,' like he had done before, when he trained her to master his own unique jutsu, and imparted forbidden knowledge upon her. His research into immortality, even. Until that night, Anko firmly believed that Orochimaru had nothing but Konoha's best interests in his heart, but that was when she finally saw through his kind facade, and got a glimpse of the cruel, selfish man the Sannin had become.

That was the night he marked her with the cursed seal.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sasuke blinked tiredly, momentarily pausing the flow of memories as something caught his eye. Orochimaru appeared to abandon her, the only survivor of the process, because she lacked the will to master the seal. But that memory didn't sit right with him... It looked wrong. He reached out his hand, and with gentle care, unraveled the false memory.

Anko gave a start, wincing as she clutched the side of her head and sucked in a breath through grit teeth. "What... What was that? What did you just do?"

Her husband sighed heavily. "I found a false memory, and removed it. The real one is... Different from what you remember."

Her eyes were flitting left and right, binking rapidly. "I... I thought he abandoned me... But I was the one to abandon him, because I found out he was a monster. One that would use his own students as test subjects."

Sasuke curled an arm around her, resting her head against his shoulder. "Your life was always your choice, Hime. Never forget that."

She pulled herself tighter against him, caught between tears and a smile. "Thank you... Thank you so much."

He held her like that, humming quietly and running his fingers through her hair. He would hold her like this until the end of time, if he could... But he made do, savoring it until she released him.

Sasuke rekindled his efforts, shoving aside the slight headache that was beginning to form. He was halfway through, he could endure a migraine for her sake. It was only a few particular memories that made him reluctant to continue.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

The days following Orochimaru marking her with the cursed seal were frantic. She was held by the research team on that island, and it took her a few days to recover enough to escape. By the time she'd done so and managed to make her way back home to Konoha, she found out that Orochimaru had fled the village, becoming a missing-nin. The Sandaime examined the cursed seal, but could do nothing for it, as he was no great master of fuinjutsu. But he sent an urgent message to his prodigal student, whom was a renowned sealmaster. It took Jiraiya a full six weeks to appear, and his analysis was just as fruitless. According to the Toad Sage, the cursed seal was powered by nature chakra, and possessed more traps and failsafes then functioning arrays. Even he barely understood how it worked, because it involved extremely intricate medical ninjutsu as well as fuinjutsu. And Jiraiya had never seen a seal that utilized one's nature chakra.

Sasuke filed away every little thing Jiraiya had said, resolving to learn more about the seal when he had the opportunity.

Approximately six months after that, the 14-year-old Anko had only a few trusted friends, the closest of which was Kakashi. She was spending more time with the young Anbu than anyone else, and occupying her free time with excessive habits; she developed a taste for liquor around this time, though not to the extreme that Sasuke had known her for.

She and Kakashi had started dating, albeit in a fairly casual manner befitting the odd couple.

Seeing the way she looked at his teacher made Sasuke uncomfortable, but he could deal with that. What he would soon witness, and experience, was what made him apprehensive.

Maybe a few weeks after the two had agreed to see each other in a more romantic sense, Anko invited Kakashi into her apartment, the exact same one she's always had to his knowledge, (Apparently, Anko doesn't like change) she propositioned him.

"Look, Cyclops, we're ninja. Every time we go out on a mission, or hell, just sitting at home, we could die at any minute. I want to live life to the fullest every day."

Kakashi blinked owlishly at her, and the hand she had on the crotch of his trousers. He was very suspicious, keenly remembering her promise to get revenge when he least expected it. "Uhh... So we're jumping right into this?"

"Duh, all the adults are crazy about sex, Kurenai was saying they specifically train some shinobi to seduce people. And you should already know how good it can feel, haven't you jerked off before?" He hadn't. While he didn't say that, the blush on his face did. She smirked at him. "Oh my god, you haven't. And here I thought the oh-so-cool Kakashi would've already gotten laid by now."

"I- I have better things to do with what little free time I have than to play with my penis."

Anko gave him a rather naughty little smile. "Then why have one at all, if you aren't going to play with it?"

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sasuke tried to endure what happened next, but he found himself gritting his teeth as his beloved Anko pulled out Kakashi's prick, and took it into her mouth before the cycloptic Jounin could protest.

His wife tightened her grip around her lover, mumbling to him, "I'm sorry... I know this hurts." She looked up at him, smirking in a rather uncomfortable manner. "Eheh, but what happened next will probably make you laugh, at least."

In the memory...

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Anko sucked Kakashi off while rubbing herself under her skirt, quite eagerly enjoying herself. Her boyfriend was staring down at her, panting under his mask. "Ngh... Damn, Anko, how'd you learn this?"

She released his cock with a wet *pop,* smirking up at him. "Got a few tips from Ebisu, that perv's obsessed with porn."

Kakashi didn't know if he was happy or sad about that.

The pair enjoyed themselves for a short while, before Anko hopped on the couch and beckoned Kakashi to 'make her a woman.' Of course, his mind spinning, Kakashi had a rather mischievous thought.

"Anko, I... I want this, I want you." He was standing just behind her, his length between her cheeks, hands running up and down her back. "But as much as I want you, I don't want to take your virginity in the spur of the moment."

"Oh, come on!" She shouted at him, a low growl escaping her throat. "I spent like three hours practicing that blowjob that made your knees buckle, you've got me bent over with your prick between my cheeks, and NOW you're getting cold feet?! Blue-ball me you motherfucker, and I will castrate you!"

Kakashi was actually shaking, he was struggling so hard not to laugh at her outrage. "Th-that's not what I'm saying, Anko." More suppressed snickering. "I'm suggesting we try something else."

He rubbed his tip against her tight pucker, sending a chill up Anko's spine, flashbacks of his thousand years of pain making her shudder. "No. Not no, but fucking hell no, you sick perv!"

"What's the matter, Anko? Chicken?"

She turned her upper body to glare at him, flipping the bird right in his face. "Fuckin' course I'm not! But I've- I've never even played with my ass myself, let alone prepared to do anything like that today..."

Kakashi cocked a brow, shifting his penis to rub it against her slick vulva, teasing her. "But you do know what's involved."

The young kunoichi blushed fiercely, partly from what he was saying, but mostly out of sheer arousal. "Ye-yeah... Ebisu wouldn't shut the fuck up about it."

"Then why don't we at least try it, in case you want to marry someone else some day? If you don't like it, we can stop whenever, I promise I won't hurt you."

Anko mumbled an agreement, straightening up and pushing Kakashi away before disappearing into the bathroom, turning on the shower. She hid in there for some time, taking a good five minutes to work up the courage to begin preparing. Anko had once become so constipated after asking Orochimaru to help her develop a resistance to toxins, she had to acquire an enema kit to relieve the pain. Before that, she thought getting stabbed with a kunai was awful... But it didn't compare to six days without taking a shit.

She ran the water until it was warm, filling the rubber bladder and holding the nozzle under the warm spray for almost a minute. She learned her lesson the first time she did this with cold water, her sensitive ass burned like hell afterward.

"What the hell am I doing... I just know I'm going to regret this," She muttered to herself as she stripped, getting into the tub and on her knees, fiddling with the little hose.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sasuke palmed his face with a groan, shaking his head. "I can't believe you."

"It gets better. See, all I had for lube was a bottle of olive oil, and I'd never really done that before..."

He glanced at his wife, his face contorted between amusement and horror. "You're shitting me."

Her lips twitched. "No, I'm not. Like I said, there's a reason I'm kinda sensitive about having my ass played with..." Anko suddenly looked down, apprehensively staring at Sasuke's crotch. "And you are a lot bigger than Kakashi was."

Sasuke sighed melodramatically, sounding identical to his teacher, turning his attention back to the memory.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Anko had just emptied her bowels, twice. The very last thing she wanted was to have an 'accident' her very first time. She cleaned herself up in the shower, mentally psyching herself up as she cut off the water and stepped out holding a towel, not bothering to dress.

Kakashi's eye grew ridiculously wide as he scanned her from head to toe, watching her meander into the kitchen, before returning with a bottle of-

"Is that olive oil?" He asked, blinking owlishly.

She nodded, her blush growing warmer. "Yeah, it's all I've got."

Kakashi looked like he was trying so very hard not to laugh. "Alright. Here on the couch, or-?"

"Yeah. Couch is fine." She approached with a very even stride, pouring her focus into keeping her nerves steady. She was afraid, nervous, excited, and very, very aroused. She'd never done anything like this before, but was determined to follow her earlier decision; she would live life to the fullest, and treat every day like it might be her last.

After laying out the towel, she sat down and pulled her legs up, cocking an eyebrow at Kakashi. He was already hard again, tenting his pants. "Um, could you-?"

She didn't even get the question out before he was on his knees, tugging down his mask and eagerly licking every inch of her. Anko shuddered, eyes rolling in her head. This sensation was heaven, to the point that she lost track of how long she was sitting there, her hand rubbing his head of its own accord.

Anko whined pitifully when he suddenly stopped, snatching up the bottle of oil and beginning to rub it in, gently massaging her puckered ass while he rubbed her clit with his other hand. She could already feel an orgasm rising, her legs trembling as she moaned, "Ohh, ffffuuuck..."

This was different from when she'd done it herself; slower, more sensual, but at least fifty times more intense as she convulsed, her mouth moving, but no sound coming out.

She was blinking rapidly and panting when she noticed that Kakashi was in her face, his mouth moving, too, but she couldn't hear anything over the ringing in her ears, a white fuzziness around the edges of her consciousness. She reached out and patted his head, half-moaning and half-mumbling, "Ohh, god... That was amazing..."

Kakashi seemed to relax, exhaling a sigh of relief as he shoved his trousers to the floor, stepping out of them. He couldn't wait any longer, his cock felt like it was going to explode. "I'm going to put it in, okay?"

She could barely work up the gumption to wave at him, she was still so far out of it.

He was very careful about oiling up his shaft, he was already so close, he might blow his load before even lining himself up. He steadied his breathing, settling on his haunches and pressing his tip against her slick asshole.

"Okay... Okay, here we go..."

She barely caught the words as he pushed.

"Ngh...!" Anko grit her teeth, instinctively tensing up as she tried to fight her body's natural response. "Ea-easy, Cyclops, I-"

*Pop!*

Her eyes crossed and all the air rushed out of her lungs as a strangled gasp escaped her throat. It felt like her ass was being torn apart.

Kakashi had just forced his head into her, grunting, "Augh, it's so tight...!" But of course, as a virgin, he didn't, couldn't fight his first instinct.

To ram himself balls-deep.

*Whap!* His balls slapped against her cheeks as Anko fought just to breathe, hands scrabbling against his shirt, when the sheer agony of her tight hole being ravaged was met by something else entirely.

*Splt...! Splt...!*

Anko felt something incredibly hot burning into her guts as his erections throbbed and spasmed painfully inside her. "Gah...! Guagh! Ka-Kakashi!"

He wasn't listening. His first orgasm had him captivated, rapture etched on his face as his body moved on sheer instinct, pulling him backward, heedless of her scream of agony. And then he slammed himself back into her, his cock squirting again and again and again...

They were stuck like that for several moments, her crying, and him panting, as the blissful fuzziness cleared from his mind, leaving him with a feeling of utter content like he had never before experienced. He finally looked down, expecting to see her smiling. "Anko-"

She was not smiling. She was glaring daggers at him, furious tears streaming down her face. "GET. OUT."

It suddenly dawned on him that he probably should've just gone along with what she wanted and fucked her how she wanted, rather than convince her to try anal for her first time. "Umm... Are you-"

"GET. OUT. OF. ME."

He immediately moved to comply, but found that it was nearly impossible to move, she was so tight. "I- I can't! You're too tight!" He babbled, now almost struggling to withdraw, his feet slipping on the towel under his feet.

Instead of answering, Anko braced both feet against his chest and shoved him with all her might.

*POP!*

He went skidding across the carpet on his back, while Anko screamed and curled into a ball, clutching at her abused posterior. "I'm going to CASTRATE YOU!"

She prayed there wasn't any blood. She really, really didn't want to try to explain what happened to a med-nin...

When she finally opened her eyes, she was alone. Even Kakashi's clothes had vanished-

*Kth-CHK!*

She blinked. Kakashi had just dove headfirst out the front door, pants under his arm, and his wet prick swinging in the breeze

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sasuke grimaced. Never in his life did he ever feel the need to experience getting fucked in the ass, and the sensation was NOT appreciated in any way, shape, or form. "On second thought... Anal is overrated. That was not funny, either."

Anko snorted, trying not to laugh aloud at the expression on her husband's face. "Yeah, it's not something you just jump into. But at least I know you wouldn't just ram it in me without care, definintely won't after seeing what it's like on the receiving end. And as bad as it was, in hindsight, it is kinda funny." She giggled and shot him a sly look, lips curling into that mischievous little smirk she wore so well. "But I wouldn't mind trying it again for you. Just so long as we try it with something a little more, ah, modest than my favorite part of you. At least at first."

There were a number of potential solutions that came to Sasuke's mind, things he'd seen on the trips they'd taken together to X-Rated Mission in the past... In fact, he couldn't remember the last time they went, it had to have been before she died. He made a mental note to plan another trip with his wife in the near future. "Heh, I've got a few ideas in mind."

She slithered her hand across his body and into the waistband of his trousers, taking his girth into her grasp. "I can see that... I can hardly wait."

"Mmhm. But for now..." He reached up, and snapped his fingers. Despite how he carried himself, he thoroughly loved the theatrics.

More memories flooded through him, seeing and feeling his beloved recovering from being buggered so roughly.

It took months for her to forgive Kakashi for that. Sasuke was a little insulted that when they next met and his premature-ejaculating bastard teacher took her virginity, it was a drunken tumble out in the training field.

On the other hand... It fit the spontaneous woman he loved so much.

The two were together for a little over three years, before Kakashi changed. He became a womanizer, and Anko caught him and Kurenai having a drunken tryst. This was their first break up.

It was not the last, obviously. They got back together and broke up twice more within the span of a year.

That's when the next major event of her life happened.

Of course... Not all memories were meant to be shared. This was one of them.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

18 years old, a freshly-minted Anbu, and she was sent on her first 'Lace' assignment as an adult kunoichi. It was a dirty job, a true black op that Konoha at large would never admit to undertaking. The mission was to seduce and kill a young lord. It should've been simple, Anko was practically blustering about how easy it would be.

It was anything but.

She arrived at the town surrounding the lord's manner, her hair dyed and her lithe body garbed in a fitted robe that came down to mid-thigh, showing off her toned legs. She brought no weapons; she didn't need them.

Hell, Anko believed the hard part would be finding the young lord, but as it turned out, she ran into him within the first twenty minutes.

Outside of the town's general store, there was a wagon coming to a stop outside, the elderly driver hopping down and beginning to unload his cargo; various foodstuffs, clothing, supplies, all sorts of things.

From just up the street, a handsome, and well-dressed man in his mid-twenties approached the elderly man, clapping him on the back. "You're early, Marlo. Here, let me give you a hand."

"Ah! You're too kind, my lord. I trust the past weeks have treated you well?" The old man was smiling brightly as he handed off a pair of flour sacks, genuine elation in his voice.

The young lord easily hefted them, an easy smile on his face. "Of course, the weather's been beautiful of late. Trisha's mare foaled just the other day."

Just then, a number of other people from within the store noticed the lord's arrival, an older woman coming out to help bring in the supplies. "Welcome back, Marlo! It's such a pleasure to see you again, as well, my lord. Thank you so much for your help, you spoil us."

The lord was still smiling. "It's no trouble at all, my dear." He helped them unload and carry everything in, carrying on with them about how their day has been, how the trip was for Marlo, and so on. Anko watched them the entire time, making mental notes about the young lord. He was kind-hearted, physically fit, and exceptionally good-looking; his hair neatly trimmed, face clean of facial hair, with strong and chiseled features. But most appreciable of all were those warm, and kind blue eyes.

The shop proprietor slyly asked him, "I heard tales that you met with the young lady of house Atris again. Any signs pointing to making her the luckiest woman alive, my lord?" Anko's ears pricked up; Atris was the surname of her client.

The lord's face fell, a near grimace taking hold before he could school himself back to that kindly smile. "I think not, madam. In fact, I'm afraid I might join the clergy before meeting with her again."

Both Marlo and the older woman burst into laughter, before the driver asked, "Aye, she were another spoiled young princess, hm?"

"That would be putting it very mildly. If my lord father insists upon beign wed to a noble lady, I might be forced to entertain the idea of waiting another decade for little Anri to come of age."

Anko was glad to hear that the man was unattached, as it would make her task of seducing him far easier.

They finished up with their task and conversation, and the lord bid them farewell, beginning to make his way up the street, humming quietly to himself.

As he strode along the road, all the people he passed greeted him eagerly; shop proprietors invited him in, stall vendors offered whatever food they served, children asked him to play with them, all and sundry welcomed this smiling young man. He joined the children in their game for a time, before purchasing a snack for them to eat while he went on his way. He brought along a small parcel of food, which he offered to a stray dog he passed. The animal looked at him in such a familiar way, as though the lord had fed and cared for it for a long time.

Anko had a good idea of what sort of man this lord portrayed himself as, but did not know if it was how he truly is, or if it is merely an act for the people. Regardless, the man seemed to be noble in every sense of the word; having seen the way he carries himself, he's had at least a few years of martial training.

She considered her approach, from where she sat, subtly watching him. That was when the young lord stood and turned, casually approaching her. When he got within arm's reached, she ducked her head shyly, "He-hello."

"Greetings, my lady." He bowed his head, smiling warmly as he looked into her eyes, offering a hand. "I don't believe we've met, as I've never seen you here before. I am Lord Brecken Yunai, might I ask why you've been following me?"

'Drat, he's perceptive,' She thought.

But she maintained her demure and shy act. "I only just arrived here. I'm sorry, my lord, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of you the moment I first saw you. I'm Ango."

She daintily grasped his hand, and he leaned down to kiss her knuckles. "It's a pleasure, miss Ango. As a newcomer, may I offer you a tour of my home town?"

Anko eagerly accepted, practically giddy that she already had his attention. Though for some reason, she was oddly happy about it for more than professional reasons.

Lord Yunai lead her throughout his town, showing her all the businesses and sights to behold, easily chatting back and forth, while Anko made more and more notes of what this man was like. Her earlier impression was spot on; he was a kind, and beloved young lord, whom did not rule his people, but lead them. However... He was exceptionally perceptive.

"...And this is the smithy, owned and operated by a old friend of my father," He said, as they stepped inside the cool interior of the blacksmith's workshop. Inside, they found the blacksmith to be oddly absent. "Hm. Old Ulrich must be out on an errend."

Anko couldn't help but glance over the various tools hung about the place, but her gaze lingered on the weaponry displayed behind the counter; most of it paled in comparison to Io's work, though there was a sword that looked like something Io himself might have produced.

"...I see you have an eye for craftsmanship." She gave a start, glancing at Brecken. He was still smiling at her. "I thought your callouses were all wrong for someone that worked in the fields... You've got experience handling a weapon."

"I, ah..."

The lord frowned. "I don't mean to sound rude, but I tire of the demure front you've been maintaining. You need not act like someone you are not for my approval."

Anko froze, her mind spinning as she tried to come up with a reasonable excuse... And decided to play to her strengths.

She decided to wing it by sighing and returning to her usual bluster and tactless attitude. "A'ight, you got me. I'm not very good at playing the shy little princess."

"Indeed, you are not, miss Ango. Though to be frank, a less cultured attitude suits you better."

Her pride wasn't happy about that remark, but she played it off. "Good guess on the callouses, too... I'm a shinobi."

He cocked a brow. "Interesting. I cannot think of anyone that would hire someone to kill me."

'And there's my window,' Anko thought, rolling her eyes theatrically.

"Kill you? Please. Remember that spoiled little brat you rejected?" Brecken's eyes widened. "Well, she didn't hire me to kill you, just humiliate you in the same way that you humbled her. At the same time, she wants me to figure out exactly how she can win your heart."

The young lord nodded slowly. "I see. Even more interesting that you would admit it. I'm afraid you'll not succeed in that part of your mission, as there is nothing she can do to seduce me, short of changing who she is."

"Heh, pleasing a spoiled rich girl is awful low on my list of priorities." She eyed him up and down, licking her lips. "Particularly when I'd much rather have you to myself."

Lord Brecken nodded sagely. "Aha, now the truth comes out. Pray tell, what would your plan be, if I told you I'm more inclined towards other men?"

"I would have bought the spoiled brat a strap-on," She deadpanned.

The young lord burst into fits of laughter. "Ahahahahaha, yes, this attitude suits you much better, my dear. But if you're set on following me home, might I at least offer you dinner, first?"

And Anko smiled. "I'd love to, lord Brecken. Just so long as I get to have you for dessert."

He chuckled again, shaking his head with a smile. As brazen as she was, he liked this woman; it was so very rare to come across such a wild beauty with an attitude to match. Someone that worked hard to earn everything they have in life, that never took the breath in their lungs for granted.

Of course, he lead her to his favorite little restaurant, a place that always welcomed him like he lived there. They ate and conversed, sipping on a fine wine, before slipping out just as the sun was setting. Anko had practically coiled herself around him, smiling to herself when she noticed the looks they were getting from the people they passed. "I think I'd like my dessert now, my lord."

He loosed a throaty chuckle, patting her arm. "I don't think anyone had ever pursued me as aggressively as you have, my dear."

Anko sighed. "Lords and ladies and common folk have all the time in the world to court and bond, but ninja? Time is a luxury we don't have. For us, you never know when you're going to go out on a routine mission and never come back. Or worse, come back in pieces that can't be put back together. So we live life to the fullest every day, because it might be our last."

"An admirable way to live, provided one isn't self-destructing." He smiled at her once more. "My father said something similar to me, once. Live for today, but look forward to tomorrow. And don't forget to smile."

'A beautiful saying,' Anko thought.

They soon reached his home; a large, but relatively modest mansion, similar to the homes of the clan heads in Konoha.

The moment they were inside, she pounced on him, pressing her lips to his. He ran his hands down her back as he returned the kiss, both of them panting when they parted. "Mmm... You're delicious," She said, and in the next moment, he lifted the kunoichi into a bridal carry as he began ascending the stairs, heading for his bedroom.

"Speak for yourself, Ango."

He carried her to his bed, but as he made to set her on the duvet, she pulled him down and flipped them over, leaning over him with a wide smile.

This was it. Anko knew she should kill him now, while they were alone and isolated... That was her job, why she was here. But she wanted him so badly.

'That can wait... He isn't going anywhere,' She thought, as she kissed him again and again, sliding further down his toned body until she unbuttoned his trousers, practically smacking herself in the face with his length.

"My, my... You're smugging such a dangerous weapon, my lord."

She savored his taste until he began moaning her name, and that's when she slid across his body to kiss him. "Still not sure what I'm going to do for the 'humilitate' portion of this contract... She wasn't very specific, so I think I'm going to have to get creative." She leans close, breathing in his ear. "Would you be ever so humiliated if I were to drag you outside, throw you down, and ride you until you scream my name?"

"Humbled, my dear, but never humiliated. Not if I'm being seen with a beauty such as you... I would have the entire world know that you are mind."

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sasuke flinched at the sensations that washed over him, an entire week she spent in the lord's bed, neither of them leaving his home the entire time. But she took him in every way a woman can possible have a man, losing herself in what he could only describe as love at first sight. A handsome, strong, and kind man that was every woman's dream, and he was all hers. At first, Anko merely put off her assignment, the forecast for this mission was that it might take up to a month... But she grudgingly admitted to herself, she felt something for this man... Something stronger than she'd ever felt before, an unnamed emotion she couldn't describe. Similar to what she felt for Orochimaru when he was her beloved teacher, but somehow different. Raw, passionate, stronger still than what she'd ever felt for her friend Kakashi.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

An entire week had passed, and she lay in this man's arms, knowing she had to kill him... But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She- She loved this man, in a way she could never love anyone she'd ever met...

Anko cradled his head to her breast as he mumbled in his sleep, tears streaming down her face. She'd broken the cardinal rule for an assassin... She allowed herself to feel.

It took everything she had to twist his head until his neck broke, not so much as a sigh escaping his lips. He endured no pain, no suffering, and it was the least she could do. The kunoichi placed a gentle kiss on his lips one last time, before she crawled out of his bed and dressed, her entire body feeling numb as his warm seed dribbled down her thigh.

She felt dead inside, as though her heart had been hollowed out. Orochimaru had abandoned her, left her with a similar rudderless feeling... But it was never so terrible as this.

After slipping out of his home and his town, she made her way through the countryside until she came upon the domain of her client, the young lady of house Atris. By the time she scaled the wall and crept through an unlocked window, it was half past midnight. Anko did not care if it was rude, she stalked the halls until she found the bedroom she wanted, and snuck inside. She found her client; a young, beautiful noble woman, whom had placed a contract on Lord Brecken's head, to the tune of three quarters of a million ryo.

Anko brusquely shook the woman's shoulder, grunting, "Get up." The startled young women opened her mouth to shriek when the kunoichi's hand clamped down around her throat. "Do not scream. You hired me to kill Lord Brecken. He is dead. Payment is due."

She relaxed her grip and stepped back, waiting.

The woman stared at Anko in horror, growling, "Haven't you the decency to come at a sensible hour?! And how dare you lay a hand upon me! I should call my guards and have you-"

Anko stepped close, head cocked to the side, expression and tone entirely flat. "Call them. There will be additional charges for more bodies. And if you refuse to pay, I shall take an additional noble head tonight."

Lady Atris backpedalled in her bed, eyes wide. "F-f-fine! Fine. Th-the money is in the jewelry chest on my dresser. T-take it, just get the hell out!"

The kunoichi snatched up the jewelry box and dumped out its contents, finding there was, indeed, a thick envelope filled with ryo notes. She took a few seconds to count out the amount before tucking it into the hidden pocket under her dress. She turned, and began making her way to the nearby window.

"You're going to regret treating me like this!"

Anko stopped, her fists clenching. "And you will sorely regret hiring me to kill a good man for spurning you, you spoiled bitch. The next time you see me will be when someone else hires me to kill you."

With that, she opened the window and leapt out into the darkness.

It normally would have taken her a full day to reach Konoha. She made it there shortly after dawn, running like she was being chased by the Kyuubi itself. Reaching the Hokage tower, she breezed past the secretary and knocked twice on Sarutobi's door, stepping in just as he called for her to enter.

The Third looked up, his eyes widening when they met Anko's. His expression softened. "...So I see the mission did not go smoothly."

She placed the envelope of money on his desk, standing at attention. "I seduced and killed Lord Brecken as the contract demanded, then proceded to collect payment from Lady Atris."

Hirzen shifted the envelope aside, looking only at Anko. "This was your first black op, Anko-chan. If you wish to continue serving as an Anbu, you must know that it does not get any easier. When you kill someone innocent, a piece of you dies with them. It is necessary that such things are painful, for only a heartless monster would feel nothing after taking innocent life."

"I will continue in Anbu, at least until we receive the contract for Lady Atris."

Sarutobi nodded slowly, reaching for his pipe. "Was she so unruly that you believe someone will want her eliminated, as well?"

Anko clenched her fists. "I guarantee it, Lord Hokage. I want to volunteer for that assignment."

"I see... Very well, Anko-chan. Go home, take the next few days to rest. If you need someone to talk to, the Yamanaka and your fellow Anbu will be more than willing to help."

After leaving the tower and returning to her apartment, try as she might, Anko could not rest, could not sleep. She tossed and turned, until she got up and dressed, then found the closest store selling alcohol. She bought all she could carry.

It took her nearly an hour to get intoxicated enough that she gratefully passed out.

The next few weeks passed in a blur for her. She found that she could no longer sleep without medication or alcohol... Her heart ached too much. After nearly a month, she was about to start drinking again when there was a knock at her door.

It was Kakashi. "Anko?" He asked, sniffing at the air and taking in her haggard appearance. "Damn, Anko, you alright?"

"Tired," She grunted thickly, rubbing one of her eyes. "'Bout to start getting ready for bed."

Kakashi blinked owlishly, glancing between her and the liquor she had sitting on her coffee table. Bottles, plural. "By drinking yourself stupid? ...What the hell happened to you out there?"

She shook her head. "Nothin' to talk about, Kakashi. Now leave me the fuck alone, ya fuckin' manwhore."

The kunoichi made to slam the door in his face when he caught it, brusquely forcing his way inside and kicking the door shut behind him. "You go on your first assassination mission, and you come back an alcoholic. Yeah, totally nothing to talk about there. Come on, I'm here for you, if you can stop being so damn stubborn for a minute."

"I don't want to talk about it, because it won't help," She growled, subtly shifting her weight into a combat stance.

His hand shot out, flicking her forehead. "Nothing can help you if you won't let anyone try, you stubborn little girl." He tended to call her that when he thought she was doing something stupid and reckless. Kakashi's blunt, tactless attitude hasn't changed in the twelve years she's known him, and Anko suspected it never would.

"Oh, eat a dick, Cyclops."

Kakashi raised a brow. "Aren't you the one famed for that talent?"

Anko's face turned bright red, her cheeks burning. "And whose fault is that, you braggart?! Fuck you!"

He showed off his annoying, tranquil eye-smile, patronizingly snarking, "You already did."

In that instant, her fist cracked into his face-

*POOF!*

And smashed a log into kindling.

She whirled, swinging her leg up in a counter, knowing he had to have been creeping up behind her.

He easily side-stepped the foot aimed at his crotch, still smiling as he deflected her next punch. But she twisted her wrist in a way only a contortionist like her could, catching his arm in a vice-like grip. The pair then tumbled across the floor as she tackled him, both fighters swinging and blocking with practiced ease, rolling across her carpet like a pair of wild cats.

In an all too unsurprising turn of events, the next thing they knew, her lips were crashing into his, his hands were groping every inch of her supple body, and they were fucking like wild beasts. Not a single word passed between them... None were needed. She was hurting, and he was trying to comfort her the best way he knew how.

They fornicated in every room of her apartment, finally coming to a stopon her couch once more, where the exhausted copy-nin passed out, his arms around her. Anko was breathing hard, but her eyelids were growing heavy... And before she knew it, she slipped into a dreamless slumber.

When she awoke, she felt like she'd gotten the first good night's rest since killing Lord Brecken. She blinked groggily, yawning against Kakashi's chest. Liquor and meds both let her sleep, but she never felt rested like she did now.

"Well, fuck..." She groaned to herself. If she wanted a good night's rest, she needed to fuck like wild... Or else it was simply being in someone's arms that did the trick. Either way, she couldn't sleep alone anymore.

Her mood soured immensely. Her provocative, free-moving and cooling means of dress already made people assume she was a loose woman. But now she'd actually have to be one just to get a good night's rest if she couldn't find a steady boyfriend...

She glanced up at Kakashi's sleeping face, frowning. Kakashi wouldn't be a terrible choice...

Images from the sight of walking in on Kakashi drunkenly rutting Kurenai flashed before her eyes.

If he could keep his dick in his pants. "I'd rather be tired and drunk than have a boyfriend that can only think about fucking other women," She growled to herself, shaking her head. She'd had a few casual lovers every now and then, whenever Kakashi decided to fuck someone he shouldn't. She still had needs... Which were now quite literal.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sasuke gave a start, blinking rapidly before he flicked his gaze to his wife. He finally understood. The drinking, the clingy affection, the possessive nature...

He understood.

She was staring at her feet, ashamed of herself.

The Uchiha reached out, cupping her cheek, before he leaned close to kiss her. "I won't make you sleep alone again... I promise you, Hime."

Anko wrapped her arms around him, tears soaking his shirt. "Thank you...Thank you, Gaki."

"You never should have endured this burden alone for so long... They would have helped you."

His wife slowly shook her head, burying her face in his silk shirt. "I didn't- I couldn't take the chance, not after the way the men I loved betrayed me. Orochimaru... And Kakashi. But worst of all, I didn't deserve anyone's help... Not after the way I betrayed Brecken."

Sasuke tightened his grip around her. "I finally understand... It wasn't just Kakashi you saw in me, it was him."

"He was noble... So strong, but so very kind. And you- You were just like he was, helping everyone around you for no reason whatsoever. No... You did those things just to see them smile. And you gave me your heart to help me heal, even when I was just using you... I- I don't-" She was breaking own, tears falling freely. "I never deserved you..."

The last Uchiha-

No, he was no longer the last. He was merely the first of the new Uchiha clan. "And I never deserved you, Hime. But I wanted you, just as you wanted me... And that drove us to become worthy of one another. Before I met you, I was the Last Uchiha. But now... Now I am the first. I love you, Anko Uchiha."

She looked up into his eyes, smiling. "I love you, Sasuke Uchiha."

Their lips met, and while everyone else thought their wedding kiss happened in the courtyard of the Uchiha compound, between himself, Anko, and Kurotsuchi...

Sasuke would have told them they were wrong. This was their wedding kiss.

Like they say, all good things...

The married couple finally parted, still staring longingly into one another's eyes for several heart-fluttering minutes, before they returned to their task. But they couldn't keep themselves from tangling up in each other's arms. "I guess this is what they call co-dependency, hm?" He teased, nuzzling her hair, savoring her scent.

"Maybe it is... And maybe they're wrong for thinking that's such a bad thing."

~~Badadumdunbum~~

The next of her happy memories came two years later, when she was called out for the assassination of Lady Atris.

The client? There were two, in fact.

Lord of House Atris, father of the young Lady Atris.

And Lord Yunai, Brecken's father.

They had always been close friends, grew up together. She met both men under cover of night.

Lord Yunai was devastated by the loss of his son... And was further broken when his old friend came to visit, with that somber and sorrow look in his normally-cheeryful eyes. Lord Atris told his old friend...

"I found a significant amount of money went missing shortly before Brecken was taken from us. The expenses were well hidden, and spread out over the months following... But it actually disppeared about Three weeks before he died."

"The same time my son returned from spending a weekend with your daughter."

Lord Atris bowed his head, tears dripping down onto the carpet. "I can hardly believe my own blood is capable of this... This atrocity... But I have no doubts. I contacted the hidden Leaf, and confirmed she took out the contract."

"...Why? Why would she do such a thing... Did she truly hate my son so...?"

"He rejected her... You know how spoiled she's always been. I... I failed as a father... Forgive me, my friend. I'm so sorry."

Lord Yunai stared at his old friend. "What good does it do to tell me now?"

"Because I... I sought to hire the same shinobi village to execute my daughter for what she has done."

"You what?!"

Anko stepped out of her hiding place, seeming to melt out of the shadows, fighting to keep her face entirely devoid of emotion. "He hired me to kill the spoiled brat."

Lord Atris gave a start, spinning to see where she'd come from. "What?! Where did you- How...?"

"I was sent out to meet you immediately after you requested a quote for the girl's head, and followed you here. I assumed you came here to discuss the contract with Lord Yunai, and possibly intend to ask for Lord Yunai's aid in funding it; I also presume you both have conditions under which the contract will be carried out. Meeting you both is simply faster than individually."

Both noblemen shot the other a wary glance, shifting their weight into familiar combat footing as Lord Yunai stood from his recliner. The mourning father was quite haggard looking, as he looked Anko from head to toe, setting down the glass of whiskey he'd been drinking. "One of yours murdered my son for profit, and now you show yourself here?" His voice was so very similar to Brecken's, tinged with grief and restrained fury, but bearing a tone both regal and commanding.

Anko cocked her head to the side, her expression still looking as though it could have been carved from solid granite. "A contract is a contract. One head is as good as any other... So long as the client is willing to pay."

"Then why have you come here before receiving any offer of payment? It's a waste of time and manpower to send a skilled assassin so far before negotiating a price."

Lord Atris' eyes widened at his friend's question, the normally-cheerful man now staring at Anko.

She briefly considered her answer. "Lady Atris was quite abusive towards the shinobi she hired, threatened to withhold payment, insulted them personally and professionally, and generally made it an unpleasant transaction. This mistreatment after hiring them to kill a good man for nothing is unacceptable. We shinobi kill whomever we are contracted to kill... Be it a warlord, a beggar, or a newborn child. But that does not mean we enjoy the experience. Along with this and the ease of this contract, it is suspected the girl might run her mouth about the Leaf's involvement in Breken's death."

Lord Atris muttered, "And that means... What, exactly?"

Anko looked the man dead in the eye... And allowed herself a thin, dangerous little smile. "This means that our price is... Negotiable. Within reason, of course."

"Of course..." Lord Yunai echoed, a hard look in his steel-grey eyes. "You speak as though you know the woman that murdered my son."

It took every last shred of willpower the kunoichi possessed to keep from wilting beneath his gaze. "I know the kunoichi in question quite well, in fact. That is why I volunteered for this assignment."

"You volunteered?!" Lord Atris gasped, wide-eyed.

"I did. Brecken's contract was her first assassination... The first kill is always the hardest, and she developed... Affection, for young Lord Brecken, and has been distraught ever since. To take innocent life is not easy; a piece of the shinobi dies with their target every time, until there's nothing left but violence. To kill someone you care for... It can render the greatest shinobi into little more than a hollow shell. For her to then suffer the indignity of being insulted by the very same person that had her inflict such trauma upon herself, I am honestly surprised she didn't return to the village with two noble heads."

The mourning father asked a question Anko had hoped he would not ask. "And what happened to this woman?"

Anko kept her face a blank mask, but sorrow tinted her voice. "She crawled into a bottle, and takes comfort in the arms of strangers, because she has become incapable of loving, and can no longer sleep alone, forever mourning the man she fell in love with."

"Hmph... I will have no sympathy for the one that murdered my son. Didn't even have the guts to take this contract herself, to show her face to me..."

The kunoichi nearly flinched, only the rigorous discipline of Anbu training keeping her from breaking down as her heart clenched. But she grit her teeth, and got through... Thinking only of what she'd do to the spoiled little brat when she got her hands around her neck.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sneaking back into the spoiled brat's mansion was just as easy as it was last time, easier, after two years spent taking assassination and sabotage missions almost exclusively.

This time, she had every terrible implement of the shinobi at her disposal, including dozens that no other shinobi possessed, save for Orochimaru himself. But as she stalked towards lady Atris' bed, she had no intention of using any of them.

Anko was going to kill this petty little girl with her own two hands.

The kunoichi paused as she approached the sleeping bitch, placing a sound-suppressing seal tag on the wall, just before she grasped the fine duvet and tore it aside.

"WAKE UP!" She roared, kicking the bedframe hard enough to splinter the solid oak.

"GUWAH!" The gril shrieked, practically bounding off the side of the bed, her head colliding with the nightstand on her way.

Anko snatched the woman by her hair, yanking her up to eye-level. "Remember me, bitch?!"

"Y-y-YOU! YOU! Whaugh-?!"

The furious shinobi clamped an iron-hard grip around the screaming girl's throat, choking off her shout.

Anko was grinning from ear to ear, an insane, macabre look on her face, a fierce expression that showed just how much she was looking forward to this. "I told you I'd be back for your head. We're going to play a little game that will decide how much I get to enjoy killing you. But before that, you're going to listen. You hired me because Brecken wouldn't sully himself by taking a wretched little shit like you into his arms. But he made love to me, and he was good. We spent an entire week together and hardly left his bed. I liked him, and killing him hurt like hell. So now, you are going to suffer with me. First question, can you guess who it was that hired me? I'll give you three chances, answer correctly, and I'll make it quick. But for every wrong answer... I'm going to break off a piece of you. Ready? Begin."

The kunoichi slackened her grip ever so slightly, still staring intensely into Lady Atris' eyes. "You're insane! Guards! GUARDS!"

Anko laughed. "Aahahahahahaha, you really think any of them are going to come to your rescue?" She laughed even harder, madness in her chocolate eyes. "Who do you think it was that let me in? I mean, all it cost me was a night in a dinky little room at the inn. They weren't as satisfying as Brecken, but they were so very eager... Not only to please me, but to be rid of you."

The noble's eyes bugged out. "What kind of whore would-"

Anko tightened her grip once more. "Ah-ah-ah... I wouldn't use that naughty word, if I were you." She cocked her head to the side, a mad, throaty chuckle escaping her lips. "I might get angry, and I'd kill you before I get to have my fun. Now! Your first answer."

Lady Atris hesitated, her eyes darting all over the room. "L-lord Yunai!"

The kunoichi laughed aloud, releasing her throat to grasp one of the girl's hands. "Ahahahahaha, good answer! But wrong. Now, what shall I take first... I think I'll take these dainty little fingernails."

And with a flick of her wrist, she broke a finger.

"AAAAHHH! AAAAHH-HAAA-HAAAAGH!"

She was silenced when Anko kneed her in the gut, driving all the air out of the woman's lungs. "Music to my ears! Now, for the rest..."

Anko broke another finger. And then another... And another... Until her entire hand was mangled, Lady Atris' screams filling the room with a terrifying din. Anko had to release her hair to draw a kunai, easily slicing off each and every fingernail while the tortured woman begged, screamed, pleaded, and scrabbled at Anko's hands, until she finally collapsed, whimpering.

The kunoichi waited patiently for the girl to catch her breath, still whimpering, tears rolling down her face. "And now... Your second answer."

"Fuck you... Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuaghk-"

Anko yanked the girl up and viciously kneed her in the groin, nearly hard enough to shatter the girl's pelvis. "You don't get to fuck me, you tramp. I wouldn't fuck you with your guards' dicks. Your own guards refused my offer, you know. I offered to dump you in a room with all of them, and let them take out their frustrations on your body, let them fuck you stupid. But they declined. You call me a whore, but that's far better than being such an unlikeable cunt that no man is willing to sully themselves with you. Next answer."

"L-lady Anais! She's always been jealous of me, of my-"

"WRONG!" Anko grasped a fistful of the girl's hair in one hand, her shoulder in the other, and pulled... Until she tore out a tangled and bloody mess of hair and flsh.

Lady Atris was rolling on the floor, clutching her head and cradling her mangled hand to her chest, choked sobs escaping her lips.

"Wrong, wrong, wrong. Final answer. Last chance for a quick death."

Lady Atris panted and whimpered, sobbing, unable to comprehend that this was how her life would end, unable to deal with the agony she was suffering. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't-"

Anko kicked her in the gut. "Pathetic! All the people you've wronged, and you can't even guess who wants you dead?" The kunoichi pulled her victim up by her throat once more. "Too bad... But I want to see the look on your face. Your own father sent me."

The utter horror in Lady Atris' eyes brought a renewed smile to Anko's lips. "Ohh, yes. YES! Hahahahahaha! He found out you hired an assassin to kill his best friend's only son, and he couldn't live with having a monster for a daughter. So he asked for karmic justice, asked the Leaf to send the same assassin you hired to kill you. He was thought it was poetic and appropriate, that you would finally suffer the consequences of your heartless actions." Anko tightened her grip, choking the girl as she mocked her some more. "But do you want to know the best part? When I got here to speak with him, he told me all about how he lost his wife, and spoiled you rotten. So I took pity on him... I led him to his bed, and had him every way a woman can take a man. I might even be carrying your little brothe or sister right now."

The kunoichi reveled in the horror and disgust on the pathetic girl's face, grinning madly. "I can't wait to tell my firstborn how I their father... And killed their sister." Anko cocked a fist, relishing the satisfaction she was about to have. "I'm going to start beating you, now. And I have no idea when I'll stop!"

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Anko had slung that girl from wall to wall, and beat her into little more than a bloody smear all around the room. Beaten her, torn out her teeth, burned out her eyes, ripped out her tongue, smashed bones into powder, stripped flesh an inch at a time, every possible torment she could imagine, she inflicted upon the poor girl, fueled by righteous anger.

She spent almost a full two hours like this, until the noblewoman was assuredly dead. Anko stretched languidly, soaked from head to toe in blood and viscera, before she calmly meandered out the window, humming quietly to herself as she left. She didn't bother cleaning herself up before meeting with Lord Atris, she wanted the man to know how thoroughly the kunoichi had enjoyed herself.

The satisfaction was almost as good as Anko had expected, but she felt... Aimless. She'd got what she wanted, but now had no idea what else she should do, aside from return to Konoha, looking forward to her next mission. Worse than that, however, she felt hollow inside. Killing the bitch had helped, of course, but it did nothing to fill the void that Brecken had left. Anko did her best to shrug it off as she crept into the inn, slithering into Lord Atris' room.

As expected, the nobleman was appalled by her appearance. "Good lord, woman... What did you do?!" He gagged, stepping away from her.

Anko smiled pleasantly. "I had some fun. Now, the payment, if you would."

He eagerly handed her a purse filled with ryo notes. After counting them out, Anko turned to leave, halted only by the man's voice. "Was it... Was it worth it?"

She didn't know if he was asking her, or if he was asking himself. "Worth every penny." She cast a glance at him, a lecherous smirk on her face. "My offer stands, Lord Atris."

The man grimaced, furious tears in his clear blue eyes. "You say that while covered in my daughter's blood... You're sick, shinobi."

"I am exactly what she made me. Monsters are not born, they are created."

"Then... What you told Brejick-"

Anko turned away. "Yes. It's true, all of it."

"Why... Why did it have to end this way...?"

She didn't have an answer for him. She was already breezing out the door.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

Sasuke glanced at his wife, pulling her tighter to him. "I can't say it's never worth it... But revenge does not leave one anywhere near as satisfied as they would hope."

Anko nodded slowly, nuzzling her husband's chest. "Yeah. I felt better for awhile, but I still couldn't sleep without someone holding me, or knocking myself out with something strong."

"I see... When I killed Danzo, there was nothing but satisfaction, no regret- No... I did regret that I hadn't killed him earlier, for what he did to my clan and my brother, before he used a genjutsu on you and Kakashi."

His beautiful wife looked him in the eye, cocking a brow and scrunching her face into a confused expression. "Genjutsu? What genjutsu? We just had a drunken fling..."

Sasuke blinked owlishly. His wife was quite adept with genjutsu... Particularly his own sharingan, after the time she had spent training him.

He suddenly wheeled around, reaching out and grasping the memories by force, face set in a grim scowl. He ignored the way anko winced at his rough treatment, knowing she would endure for him.

The prodigal Uchiha sifted through her memories, taking them within himself at an alarming pace, his head pounding as he took a little over six years' worth of memories into his mind in the blink of an eye.

Times she spent feeling utterly alone, times spent numbing herself with liquor, the time she met him, the moment she was ordered to seduce him, the times they spent together, the joys she felt with a student, the trepidation she felt at carrying out her orders, the self-sacrifice it took to warp her own mind with hypnosis... And the unparalleled joy she experienced after doing so, tasting true love like she'd experienced twice before, mixed with repressed guilt. She loved every second they pent together, but loathed herself for taking advantage of what she always saw as only a child. When he left to train with Jiraiya, she was so very alone... Desolate, hardly able to sleep.

He gasped when he came upon the night in question; unlike Kakashi's recollection, it happened at night.

She was home alone, drinking, when Kakashi showed up. He was drunk, swaying on his feet, to the point that his breath was likely flammable. But there was such a sad, misty look in his eyes, one that Sasuke had seen only once; when Kakashi tried to kill his student in the graveyard.

It happened the same way everything that occurred between her and Kakashi happened... Completely spontaneously. They sat on her couch, drinking, reminiscing on the old days. Kakashi had been hurting, old memories haunting his solitude.

Her memory of that night turned fuzzy and uncertain, they were both so drunk... But she blearily woke the next morning completely nude, beneath Kakashi's slumbering form. Anko panicked as she shoved Kakashi out of her bed, her mind too befuddled and hungover, her body too sore to be able to even tell whether or not she'd been fucked the night before.

The Jounin sprang into action as he rolled into free-fall, his keen reflexes kicking in as he shifted his weight and spun as he rolled across the floor, slamming into the nearby dresser with a groan.

After collecting themselves, they both came to the same conclusion... That this night never happened, and they would never speak of it again.

But of course, neither of them had luck on their side. Just as Kakashi made to leave, he practically stumbled into someone else standing in the doorway, hand poised to knock just as he opened it.

Anko never saw who it was... Just heard footfalls and angry muttering that became a shouting match as the unknown shinobi took off, Kakashi following close behind them.

Sasuke blinked tiredly, having taken in all that and more, from running into Sai and being tricked into meeting with Danzo, to the agony of her death, to a curious lack of sensation that went on for ages... Death, Sasuke assumed. Then her confusion and irritation when she was awoken from death, as well as a level of repressed guilt that Sasuke had never before experienced... Anko had indulged herself, basking in Sasuke's affection one last time, before breaking his heart; she believed she wasn't worthy of someone that loved her so much...

She was alone, unsuccessfully trying to numb herself, when Itachi barged into her home, demanding that she take responsibility for her own actions. The elder Uchiha berated her relentlessly, practically dragging her along with him to find Sasuke's comatose form. They carried him to the hospital, remained at his bedside until he woke; the entire time, Anko was contemplating what to tell Sasuke, torn between truth and lies, guilt eating away at her.

But she took a chance... She told him the truth.

Everything since then has been like a dream, Anko felt exactly the same as Sasuke did in their relationship. As though she'd finally found happiness...

Sasuke finally came to a halt as he witnessed their wedding from Anko's perspective, releasing his grasp upon her memories. He found himself panting, the side of his head feeling like an overripe melon.

Anko wasn't faring much better as she clutched one hand to her head, one eye clenched shut as she sucked in a breath through her teeth. "Was it good for you, too?"

"Yep... Feelin' good, Hime. No wonder Itachi said memory transference was supposed to be done gradually." Sasuke found himself gritting his teeth, muttering half to himself, "Kakashi-teme lied to me... Alterred his memories to do it. But why...?"

His beloved wife gave him a blank stare. "You're asking why Kakashi lied to you. The only one who can even guess as to why would be Kakashi, and I'm going to be honest, there's like a 50-50 chance even he can answer that."

Sauke shook his head. "There's three, maybe four people that can alter memories that well, so well that even I couldn't discern that they were false. Itachi, Inoichi, and Danzo are three of them... Obito is possibly the fourth. Danzo wouldn't be so damn careless as to leave the memory of Sai in Kakashi's head... And I can see no reason for Obito to get involved at that point in time. So either Inoichi alterred Kakashi's memories as a favor, or Itachi did so for some reason. No... This must have happened earlier than that. Someone planted the idea and those memories in Kakashi's head at the same time... I need to speak with Itachi about this, he's the only one I can think of that could set this up. I just can't understand why."

Anko rolled her eyes, reaching up and flicking one of her husband's furry ears. "I'm going to need some context for this conversation you're having with yourself, lover."

Sasuke sighed, realizing he couldn't put it off any longer. "You're right, Hime. I could use your insight." He slowly reached out, running his fingers through her hair. "I'll try to be gentler, this time."

He slowly began his task, weaving thoughts and emotions and sensations, letting them gently wash over his beloved.

~~Badadumdunbum~~

To be continued...