4I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
This came to my mind while listening to Addicted by Saving Abel. Just a short OS, with some loving.
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.
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They say love can kill you, what they don't tell you is that it can take everything you have away from you.
That's how me, Edward Cullen, ex-teacher, found myself in this position.
She was eighteen, she was legal, she was sin, she was perfection. Now she's nineteen, she's ten different shades of crazy, she's still legal but she makes me do things that might be illegal in most states. Light brown hair, warm brown eyes, nose full of freckles and the reddest lips at night. She wraps me, with her pinky, with her heart, with her crazy ways, with her mouth… she's everything, and she's nothing.
I've lost everything, I resent her. I don't let her breathe sometimes while she comes, I don't want her to come. I don't want to give her any pleasure. She's already taken too much away from me. But she gives me more than she takes, and she gives me so so much.
I'm Edward Cullen, thirty three years old and an addict. I'm addicted to Isabella Swan and I have no intentions of going to rehab.
...
"Baby, I'm here!" Isabella screams from the door I've left opened for her. I can hear her from my bedroom, not that it's too far away from the flat's door either. The flat is small, but it's comfortable. It's almost bare, and it allows me to take her as I please.
I walk slowly to her, making sure she hears me. I know she's impatient, Isabella is nineteen, she's sex driven, her hormones and her love for me are her greatest weaknesses.
I hate it when she calls me baby, I'm a man, she has to know that by now. Babies are cute, soft, adorable, much like Isabella is in a good day. I'm not a baby.
I stand behind her and when she turns I see why I can't let go. Her soft eyes sparkle just by seeing me and I wonder if that'll ever go away. She's much too young and her child like excitement warms my heart and makes it swell. It makes me forget why I can be able to despise her so much.
Soft fit legs wrap around my middle and I have to catch her from the force of her jump. Isabella is much shorter, a foot and two inches separating us, but what she lacks in physical force she has in her bitchy attitude. Isabella is fierce, feisty even. But one would not think so by looking at her now. She's wearing a plaid short dress, all in baby blues and white. She looks innocent. Harmless.
"I've missed you baby!" She kisses my whole face and makes me feel so loved. I kiss her mouth, because I can, because I want to. I love her. I've never stopped loving her. I never will.
"What have you been doing?" I ask because I know. I know Isabella as much as I love her. She looks guilty, she always does and I can feel my blood boiling.
"I met Jasper today for lunch." She looks at me from under her eyelashes and I see when she still expects me to let this go.
I can't.
Jasper is my half brother. Isabella told him about us. Isabella told him everything about us when she still was a student. Jasper told Alice, his best friend, who told him to tell his boyfriend who told Jasper to tell our mother. Our mother, Esme, decided it was a good idea teaching me a lesson and telling the headmaster that one of his teachers was fucking one of the students which in the end led me to this, working a shitty job and being away from my family. I'm the black sheep; I've slept with a teenager and even though I find it ridiculous that I'm suddenly banned from entering my own house, I know my mother. She's been raised in a way I can't change, and although I wished I had thought about the consequences thoroughly before sleeping with Isabella, I know the present is what it is.
"What have you been talking about?" I'm calm, I'm much too calm and Isabella shivers. She's scared, I can tell. She's torturing her poor thumb.
"We were talking about his new boyfriend and how he's been having issues keeping that away from Esme" I scoff at that, he had no problems what-so-ever telling her about me and Isabella. "Then he asked me about us, so I told him we're still together and happy. And that you've allowed me to stay with you a whole lot more!"
She's fucked up and she knows it. We had a plan, seeing each other secretly until I'm settled in this job. We've moved so we shouldn't have issues. But Jasper studies where I teach, I was luckily allowed to walk away quitting without having the real reason of why I had to stop working in Forks High written. But people know, Isabella has a big mouth. She's told the girls at school, then her cousin Rosalie, then her friend at college who happened to be one of the teacher's daughter and now Jasper.
"I could get fired if he opens his mouth Isabella, I'm not your teacher but…"
"Oh shut up, you're being a fucking paranoid again." She huffs and jumps from my body, back down on the floor. And steps back a couple of feet. Her warm eyes are shinning with fury. "You won't even let me enjoy being with you! I love you asshole, what the fuck do you want from me?!"
She's yelling by now and her cussing is making me want to wash her mouth with soap. She wants to be with me in the open, but it's just a year, a year more… she's always so selfish. When I don't answer right away she throws whatever she has close to me.
"Watch your mouth Isabella and stop throwing things at me!" I warn her because I don't like her foul mouth one bit. I also hate that she has this temper tantrums.
"Fuck you" She doesn't even raise her voice. She's provoking me and she knows how to do that best.
In a second I'm right in front of her again. I grab her face, pressing her cheeks with my thumb and point finger, making her look at me. There's so much force in her stare I can't move, or talk. I can barely breathe. I hate what she does to me.
"As you wish, but watch your damn mouth while you're at it." I walk with her to the sofa and sit, all while making her kneel. I yank my pants down because as pissed off as I am I'm also really turned on.
She pretends she doesn't like it, she always does but just right before she wraps her hot little mouth around me she licks her lips. She's not gentle, she's forceful, she scratches with enough pressure, she licks, she moans, she hums, faster… faster. And I love it when she goes down on me.
Isabella is soaked and once she's underwear free I am inside her. We grunt, we swear, we're not gentle. I'm fucking her. I'm not making love. I hit inside her especially hard and she cries. Not because it hurts, but because she knows I'm getting tired of her games. I know she wants us to move away, but I can't. I have friends here, the only thing I have left. I can't. I won't let her and her love take everything away from me.
"I'm sorry Edward, I'm sorry…" Isabella chants this over and over again while little gasps escape her mouth. There are tears running down her cheeks and chin and she's pressing her nails against my scalp in a way that hurts me so good. Just like she always does.
"I love you" Because it's true, I love her. She's the only drug I've ever tasted and I don't need any other to know what being addicted is. I can't live without her, but she can make my life hell. She's the sweetest torture.
"Forever, I'll love your forever." She whispers in my ear and I slow down, or she does. And suddenly we're making love. Slow, and sweet and so full of regret. I hate treating her so badly, and she hates messing things up only to get to me, only to get us to leave. It's a vicious cycle of which we can't seem to get away from.
I touch her bundle and she reaches her own high while silently screaming. Her eyes are shut, her face flushed and I've never seen anything more beautiful. I fasten my pace, and then with a gentle tug from her hand and another "I love you" in my ear I come. I don't see stars; I don't have a ringing sound inside my ears. I see her, I see Isabella's face and I listen to her "I love you", each she has given me, so easily it makes me wrap my arms around her just like she has me wrapped in her.
...
Isabella is still in the bathroom. I'm nervous. It's an important day. Important is an understatement. It can change my life, either for good or for worse. I tap and tap and it makes a noise that matches Isabella's in the bathroom.
She's wearing a short that falls just below her ass and one of my college t-shirts. Her hair is partially blown dry and her skin is flushed from the shower. Beautiful.
Isabella comes to me and sits in my lap. Her smile is sincere and sweet I'm glad we've come this far. We're in the open now, she got tired and quitted school. It took me and her that to realise how much we mean to each other. She's taking baking classes, she loves baking and she's much happier doing what she enjoys and not trying to get a degree in business management as her parents wanted. She' still crazy and acts like a three year old kid sometimes, but it makes me love her more. She's young and still too naïve, she brings the protector in me but she also calls me in my bullshitting. She's perfect for me. And now I'm addicted to this new version of her, able to talk about her fears and needs, able to get me to become a better man.
"What are you looking at?" She smiles sweetly and I kiss her.
"You." I answer and she blushes a bit, she has no issues with being rough in bed, but she doesn't deal well with a bit of loving. "You've come so far and you've made me had to become a better man" I wince because it sounds so cliché I wish I had kept my mouth closed. "We've made this love something better than making love when we used to fight. We've made it real. Isabella, baby…." She laughs with tears in her eyes because she knows I hate that particular term… when used on me. "will you move in with me?"
She cries and squeals and nods. I open the blue box that contains her key and she kisses me until she has me pinned on our bed.
I'm definitely not getting detoxed.
And there it goes.