8It's CHRISTMAS! And I am sooo bored so, I thought i'd do a random one-shot about christmas!
Candy-cane Cat and Red-Vine Robbie, walked into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
Sitting there on a sugar-toadstool, was an umpa-lumpa, it was green like shrek and had a latex suit in the color of BRIGHT ORANGE!
"Heya toots, whatcha doing here without a man?" The Umpa-Lumpa smooothed his hair up into a spike, trying but failing, to look badass.
"I'm the man!" Robbie shouts, not clear of the high-pitched voice he is using at the moment because Cat made him drink a load of ballons before he drove her in his flying saucer (The sweet version that is BRITISH NOT AMERICAN)to the chocolate factory.
Now many of you think that it is abnormal if you like, to drink balloons, but just take the time to remember that the author here is totally high on soda-pop and candy, so um, yeah.
"Then why are you wearing pink?"
"IT'S SALMON!"
"Okay, okay, I believe you, so what is your name, ravishing red-head?"
"Candy-cane Cat, look!"
After Cat had, squealed her line, she pressed a pink? Button on her neck and her face was morphed into the shape of a candy-cane, with love hearts imprinted all over it.
"Yikes! Anything you can do, salmon shirt?"
Robbie furrowed his eyebrows together in anger and annoyance then unfurrowed his eyebrows and smiled,
"Yes, yes I can."
Suddenly, the pink salmon shirt was gone and Robbie was now a Red-Vine! He moved over to the Umpa-Lumpa and wrapped himself around the Umpa-Lumpa's neck!
"Pa- pa- please, la- le- let, ga- go!"
"Robbie, what are you doing?" Came a voice from the treetops because apparently, Willy-Wonka's factory has trees in it?
Jelly-bean Jade came down from the tree-tops and landed gracefully next to the dying Umpa-Lumpa. Holding his head in her hands and weeping softly.
"Robbie, how could you?" She started throwing magic grenade Jelly-beans. Because this author is insane and thinks that nothing but Robbie in this story would get affected by a load of jelly-bean grenades, the chocolate factory remains how it started out to be.
"Tommie, Tommie can you hear me?" She's shouting in his ear now because she's lost all hope and decide's to give the thing mouth to mouth.
Suddenly, Bubblegum Beck comes swinging out of the trees and onto the little island that Cat, Robbie Jade and Tommie, the umpa-lumpa are sitting, lying and standing on.
The author doesn't care about the dumb umpa-lumpa so she makes Beck stab him with his fishing stick and throw him into a random pit of darkness which seems to have come out of nowhere.
"Beck, why did you do that?" Asks Jade, she looks a bit too innocent after pelting and certain curly haired geek with jelly-bean grenades.
"Because I was jelous of that shrek dwarf because he kissed you, and he stole some of my bubble-gum."
"Which kind?"
"The strawberry one."
"Ya, I guess he deserved it."
"Now kiss me, so we can run off into some sunset, buy a house and have babies."
"Can we have a lemonade stand too?"
"Okay."
So they kissed and it was soooo romantic and x rated because well, it was Beck and Jade and waaaaay to sexy for five year olds to watch!
Bye weirdos.
So that had NOTHING to do with christmas so, yeah. MERRY CHRISTMAS!