Lieutenant Tomboy and Doctor Wimp

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

Summary: Christmas present to my beta, Dragon Wizard 91 depicting his favorite bleach girl and guy, Tatsuki and Hanataro, together. Oneshot, but may add in a lemon chapter, and I might make a series about the things mentioned in here, so this might be considered a sneak peak.

Regular speak

Thoughts and Emotions talking to person outside mind

Demonic or Animalistic speak

Demonic or Animalistic Thoughts

non-demonic Higher Beings will change depending on mood

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were getting hurt on purpose to see me more often," Hanataro comment with a grin as he patch up his most frequent patient in all of Soul Society. Eleventh squad's Vice-Captain, Tatsuki Arisawa. Yachiru, now having the body of a teenager, had lost a match to the old-looking yet younger female and had given up her spot as Kenpachi's second.

The pinkete went off to join the IRS, the Interdeminsional Response Squad. Also called the KIA because they SHOULD have been killed in action, and also stood for 'Kurosaki's Insane Army' or 'Kurosaki Ichigo's Army'. Honestly, they didn't really have an official name any more, they had too many jokes about each abbreviation. It was a squad made of just about any type of being. Shinigami, Vizards, Arrancars, Quincy, several oddballs, and even a hollow that ate plants instead of soul. It was essentially the group that dealt with issues the average shinigami, or hollows and arrancars since there was now a peace between the two worlds, couldn't handle. Like the Spirit Vampires, that time some Viking Shinigami tried to make Zaraki their new chief, the Clone Wars, the White Hole of Infinite Realities, the Looping Incident, that year Hichigo became the spirit king, etc.

Needless to say, Yachiru fit right in with the crowd. She still missed Kenpachi though, but sent lots of letters and paid many visits that ended with her and Kenpachi being lost for a few hours. That and trading Byakuya her spy report on Ichigo and Rukia for the candy he promised. Just because Rukia had become Ichigo's official second in command after getting her first AND second bankai, didn't mean he wasn't still the over-protective brother he secretively was, especially since her superior officer doubled as her boyfriend.

As for Tatsuki? She would have joined Ichigo's group, but...she really wasn't strong enough at the time. Yachiru hadn't used her shikai at all during their fight while Tatsuki had gone all out. Yachiru had probably reached the stage where she wanted to move away from her 'father' for a while, but wanted a good vice-captain around in her place. And she liked Tatsuki, as did the rest of the eleventh squad. Hell, they practically worshiped her when she and Ichigo told them about how she use to whip his butt when he was younger. Ichigo was a bit idolized by the eleventh squad, and other shinigami in general, for being able to fight to a draw/beat their captain before he even had bankai. That essentially told them that she was the indirect reason Ichigo was the tough bastard he was and not some wimp!

And you knew she was one of Ichigo's friends if she only took a decade to reach vice-captain, counting her academy days. Just look at Keigo and Hanataro, the fourth seat of the third squad and the co-vice captain of squad four- Captain Unohana thought it bet to have a second vice captain with all the emergencies that happened in this hectic age.

Any way, Tatsuki could now join Ichigo's little army of Overpowered manics, but she got too use to these manics, even Kenpachi. So she decided to stay and rough these monkeys into shape. Kenpachi had actually went out of his way to try and tear Ichigo a new one for never getting this girl involved in his misadventures earlier...or at least for never introducing her to him!

She had met Hanataro after meeting Mayuri. More accurately, she met him after she was shipped to the medical squad after Mayuri attempted make a clone of her that was half Ichigo, not to long before the Clone Wars- but that's another story. She had remembered Hanataro from Ichigo's tales and began hanging out with meek boy. To everyone's shock, the two had started dating at some point...and if Tatsuki was a very protective friend, you should see her when you go after her boyfriend! The last fool was still sleeping with a night light and on reserve duty.

"Oh, shut up! If I was that desperate for some time together, I would have started an inter-squad brawl," She retorted with a grin as her boyfriend healed her back.

Hanataro grinned nervously at that, knowing that she was at least half serious about that, "So, what happened this time, exactly?" He asked curiously as he examined the very jagged wound.

"I got into a fight with Micha," She said in a smoldering voice, glaring at the wall, "Damn little bitch..."

"Suki, she's Ichigo, Captain Soifon, and Hiyori combined. I think that's a given," He joked, a bit bolder in private and with her.

"And me, Hanataro. Are you saying I'm a bitch?" She asked with a smirk.

He glupped a bit at that but chuckled, "After my last birthday? Yeah," He countered making her blush with wide eyes as that night went through her head again. Say all you want about his other skills, but Hanataro was good with his hands...and tongue...and the rest of his body..., "Easy Tatsuki, don't pass out on me!" He said humorously as she shook her head and fought away her thoughts.

"I WILL get you back for that, you know," She said with an even stare.

Hanataro actually liked the idea of that, "Oh? How do you intend to do that?" He asked, knowing it would either be really good or really bad.

Before he knew it, he was on the medical bed with her straddling his waist and pinning his arms, "I'll think of something," She said huskily before she began kissing at his neck and beginning to untie his outfit.

"T-tatsuki! Someone will hear us! And your wound-!" Hanataro protested with a full body blush before she brought him into a passionate kiss. It was more from getting caught then actual intimacy. He had seen every inch of her, but he wasn't exactly kinky enough to have public or work sex. Tatsuki on the other had...

"You worry too much, Taro," She cooed, licking her lips, "It was just a flesh wound any way. Besides, who do you think is going to walk in on us? Isane? Retsu?" She teased with a grin, ready to start the main course.

"...How about Ichigo?" Hanataro asked, looking at the door behind Tatsuki's back in wide eyes. Tatsuki went wide eyed as well and turned to see a familiar carrot top, who was blushing lightly with wide eyes.

"...Should I come back later?" He asked awkwardly as he looked at the couple on the bed.

"...No, you ruined the moment," Tatsuki grumbled, grabbing her vice-captain patch and leaving with a blusing and pissed look, "See tomorrow, Taro."

"See ya, Suki!" Hanataro called before looking toward Ichigo with a neutral expression, "I'm not sure if I should thank you for stopping that or curse you for cock-blocking me," He said with extra bluntness.

Ichigo sweat-dropped, "Sorry. Heard Tatsuki was here and thought I might pay her a visit while I was in the neighborhood. Didn't know you two were getting kinky with it yet- though, Rukia started off kinky, so I can't say much," Ichigo said with a sheepish grin.

"TMI! TMI!" Hanataro shouted, waving his hands in front of his face, "The less I know about Rukia's sex life with you, the less I have to worry about when Byakuya gets Mayuri to read everyone s' minds to find out for himself!" Hanataro screamed to Ichigo's amusement.

"I'll keep that in mind," He said with a laugh, mentally noting to look into any truth about that, "So, anything interesting happen since I last came?" He asked curiously.

Hanataro sighed, "Not much, for the moment. Shunsui is still looking for the rest of his clothes after that party, Orihime and Captain Unohana are still having 'smiling' contests, Yuroichi and Soifon still haven't left the second squad's barracks, and Captain Hitsuguya is still trying to get the black hair dye out of his hair," He said listlessly, "You?"

"Hiyori's pregnant again, Lisa is still a futa, we're still trying to turn Grimmjaw back into a male, Harribel and her girls still have their minds switched, Urahara is still making his Yuroichi love-Clone, my sisters keep teasing me about my clone, and Rukia is trying to get me into either an orgy with our hollow sides and swords or a threesome with Nemu," Ichigo said casually, as if it was normal- because it was, for him.

"...Things are never dull for you, are they?" Hanataro asked with a sweat-drop.

"Eh, I figure I'm doing okay as long as I don't end up acting like my goat-faced father," Ichigo said with a shrug, "Any way,since I ruined your moment...," He started before reaching into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of sauce, "Here, this is Tatsuki's favorite sauce. Use this on her favorite sushi and she'll forgive me and you'll be set for the night," He said with a grin as Hanataro took it.

"Ummmm, thanks, Ichigo," Hanataro said awkwardly, a bit surprised by the gift.

"My family and me always considered Tatsuki to be a part of the family. So, that makes you family as well," Ichigo assured, "Now, I best get going before Cthulhu decides to show up," Ichigo said offhanded before vanishing without a trace.

"...That never stops being freaky," Hanataro comment with a shiver. Ichigo never made a sound when he did that, not even disrupting the air flow when he did it, "Who's Cthulhu," He asked himself before shrugging. He had a date tomorrow night and he had to make sure he was ready!

End of Chapter

There you go, my gift to my beta and sound board, Dragon Wizard 91! As you might be able to guess, this takes place well over a century into the future. Now, I am considering making a story/series out of the whole IRS idea and all their crazy adventures.(White Hole, Clone Wars, Etc) I may also make another chapter to this about where that sauce leads Hanataro to with Tatsuki.

My only questions for you my, audience, are these- what was your favorite part? What was the most shocking part? And what was the funniest part?