5Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.
The Black Gate of Mordor
"Every act of creation is first an act of destruction."
- Pablo Picasso
"I have many times asked myself whether there can be more potent advocates of peace upon earth through the years to come than this massed multitude of silent witnesses to the desolation of war."
- King George V
The Third Age – March 25th 3019
Mordor
The Black Gate of Mordor, Morannon, was collapsing. I stood upon the infamous gate observing the destruction, and feeling the stones and rock shift and crumble beneath the heavily armored soles of my feet. This day would begin the end of an era, and the birth of a new one under King Aragorn, son of Arathorn, rightful claimant to the thrones of both Arnor and Gondor. Or more appropriately King Elessar. Even though I knew this day had been coming, it was difficult sitting idly by completely powerless. I had been living here for months laying claim to this hell and making it my own. As much as it confounded me, I found that some part of me loved this desolate wasteland and its people. I shook my head. How odd that I should learn to call the Dark Shadow Lands of Mordor home.
'Standing where I am now, standing up at all
I was used to feeling like I was never gonna see myself at the finish line
Hanging on to parts of me, hanging on at all
I was used to seeing no future in my sight line'
Sauron, the very reason for my presence and existence in Middle-Earth, was finally defeated once and for all. I could still feel his influence somewhere deep inside of me, and throughout the land. Originally of the Maiar, Sauron was powerless now that his physical body and source of power, The One Ring, was destroyed. Now he could do no more than spread malice in the hearts of the wilderness. In that respect, he would never fully die.
His physical death I had been witness to moments ago. I clenched my fists remembering the feeling of his corrupted life energy and power escaping from his temporary human shell. How terrible I must be to think, to feel something for that vile creature. Sauron, the entity that had ruthlessly killed so many over the span of countless years. What type of person was I to care for a creature such as this? The type of person that had started to change him. If only we had more time…
'Sometimes it feels like they wanna remind me
Send all those villains after me'
My feelings for him were something I needn't worry about any more. He was dead. Truly he was dead, as far as I knew that is. The accountings I had on this timeline had been accurate in accordance with all that I had seen and read. What lay before me was something else entirely. It was a future that I had limited literary and no film reliance. I felt almost a sense of panic at the thought that I was about to enter a time in which I had partial knowledge. There was no hope of going home now. Home, a place that I had originally yearned for so deeply now seemed like a distant memory, as did my brother and parents, long dead to me. There had been so many deaths, so many souls lost. All for the sake of greed, power and ambition.
Did all of these bad guys really have to be so transparent in their dealings? I mean seriously, take for example Lord Sauron, Lord Voldemort, Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Satan, heck even Loki (who I think is misunderstood). Fictional or not, they really took the ambition and power side of Salazar Slytherin to the extreme. Sometimes a good dose of Hufflepuff is in order to balance things out. People from that house at least didn't go crazy, kill, betray, or participate in genocide. That we know of at least.
I rubbed my temples feeling exhausted. The future King Elessar was presently amongst the race of men infiltrating and chasing down my people far below me. I felt bitter and resentful towards the soon to be king and the company in his keep that would help him rebuild and reunite the lands. What help was I going to receive? None of them would ever learn to trust myself, nor would other lands that had followed Sauron do so again out of fear. They knew of me, but not well enough to distinguish my influence over Saurons. It was going to be a long uphill struggle indeed. Although, there were a few I knew to be trustworthy and loyal.
'I'm not their hero
But that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave
I never walked the party line
Doesn't mean that I was never afraid
I'm not your hero
But that doesn't mean that we're not one and the same'
All around me lay destruction, crumbling stone, and ash floating through the air from Mount Doom. The same mountain the Hobbits from the Shire had destroyed the One Ring of Power with. I took a deep breath feeling ash enter my throat.
'Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall
I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart
Learning all I know now, losing all I did
I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead'
A few ashes gathered in the palm of my outstretched hand. I looked at the gray coloring blankly and watched it pool at my feet. Looking around I could see the many souls residing in Mordor running for their lives attempting to escape the inevitable collapse of their once proud and prosperous kingdom. It was odd to associate anything but death and decay with this land, but it had been, well not beautiful, but unique in its own way. In the Dark Shadows of this realm lived thousands of families, both human and orc alike.
'Sometimes it feels what I recovered you lost
Sending your peaceful loss to me'
I could hear the screams of thousands suffering around me but knew there was little I could do in the face of such terror and the current state of our armies. There was no time to regroup, nor did I want to. It was the time for men to reign supreme and freedom from the all-seeing Great Eye. Hopefully, we could start again as well.
'I'm not their hero
But that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave
I never walked the party line
Doesn't mean that I was never afraid
I'm not your hero
But that doesn't mean we're not one and the same'
A gust of heavy wind whipped my heavily bound and intricately braided hair around my face. I turned to see Tardis, a young dragon offspring birthed from one of the Nazgul's dragons, land gracefully near me. I smiled at the dragon, as he was a friend and one of my protectors. Sauron had gifted Tardis to me not long after my arrival in Mordor.
His heavy and hot breath rushed over my face as I approached him and stroked his long and powerful neck. I closed my eyes and hugged his neck tightly in order to steady myself as the gate shook. Very soon I would need to leave, or suffer the painful death of falling and being crushed by rubble.
I opened my eyes at a noise above and saw the formidable Uruk-Hai, Narghaash, leap from the base of the dragon's neck. He landed with a heavy thud and gave a rough pat to Tardis before approaching me.
As he came near I saw the determination and strength I had come to associate with him. He raised his clawed and roughened hand to my face and tucked a strand of my unruly hair behind a softly pointed ear.
"Is it done?" I asked him.
He nodded. "You're the last, as always." I could hear the slight reprimand in his voice and my eyes softened. I raised my hand to cover his much larger one that had laid claim to the side of my face.
"Always a tone of surprise" I said flatly and devoid of my usual cheer.
Narghassh snorted and placed his other hand on my opposite cheek and brought our foreheads together. "Just you," he corrected. "Always gotta clean up after ya. Never know what you're goin' to do next."
I moved my hands to each of his wrists and looked into his eyes. I saw the worry etched in the amber pools and gave him a brave but sincere smile. "But you'll stay with me," I confirmed a promise he made long ago.
"Can't leave you now."
The ground beneath us shook again and Tardis shrilled and thrashed around. Narghaash's hands found my waste and kept me steady. The wall was most definitely not going to hold us for much longer.
"We better leave."
He agreed and was about to help me astride Tardis when I felt the burn of eyes on my back. Startled, I turned in his arms and took a step closer to the edge of the gate to peer over the side. Far below, I could make out two formidable forms that would be hard to mistake. Below I could see the blazing white robes and staff of Gandalf the White and the mighty presence of Aragorn, son of Arathorn.
'Sometimes it feels like the side that I'm on
Plays the toughest hand, holds the longest stand
Sometimes it feels like I'm all that they've got
It's so hard to know I'm not what they want'
In that moment their gazes caused a sudden fear in my chest. These were two of the many characters I had fallen in love with in my youth, and had long thought of as great and mighty hero's. Upon the earliest days of my arrival to Middle-Earth, when I had been young and naïve, I had imagined we could forge a friendship. And wouldn't it have been grand to be named a friend to those of the famous Fellowship of The Ring? Me, an intelligent healer from a distant world, and not just an intruder and voyeur in their homeland, which is all I could see myself as now. I would have told stories and complained of Elves jokingly with Gimli, and cooked and eaten with the fun loving hobbits…
But now their gazes penetrated my person with such disdain I could hardly stand to keep eye contact. And there was no mistake that they could see my own unique burning gaze from down below. Unfortunately, I possessed the eyes of my Father.
'Sometimes it feels like the side that I'm on
Plays the toughest hand, holds the longest stand
Sometimes it feels like I'm all that they've got
It's so hard to know I'm not what they want'
No doubt I would never be friends with the likes of the Fellowship, if we ever had the chance to meet on pleasant terms which was highly unlikely. Suddenly, I felt the heaviness and pounding at my chest where my white gold ring lay against my naked skin buried beneath layers of clothing and armor. The warmth of the ring reminded me of my heritage, so very similar and different to that of the late Sauron. At the very least Gandalf the White and the future King needed to understand that though they knew not who I was, I was a formidable player. I held power. Perhaps not the same power as Sauron, but I was not to be trifled with.
I clutched my hand to my chest where the ring lay underneath and squared my shoulders. I hardened my gaze and narrowed my eyes and stared back at them both for all I was worth. There was more at stake here than their kingdom, I now had one to protect as well. In my hands I held the lives of thousands, hundreds of thousands even.
In the destruction of their homes these people, comprised of orcs, and human followers of Sauron were my responsibility. The thought both enticed and filled me with me fear at the same time. Somehow, once this destruction had cleared, I was going to rebuild this land. And I knew in my heart I could. But first I had to stand up to my childhood hero's.
Standing tall with the ash from Mount Doom burning my eyes I tightened the grip on my staff and raised its polished blackened wood to the sky. I looked at both men below me and nodded to them congratulating and acknowledging their victory. In my mind I spoke to them with a challenge that they may never hear in words.
You may have won now, but rest assured you will not lay claim to our home for long. You will not destroy us and force us to live in fear and despair. As long as I live you shall have to deal with the likes of me.
'I'm not their hero
But that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave
I never walked the party line
Doesn't mean that I was never afraid
I'm not your hero
But that doesn't mean we're not one and the same'
Re-sheathing my staff I brushed the hair from my face and put my helmet on. Funny, how it had once seemed so heavy and ornate, but now it felt much like a source of strength and power. Randomly, I wondered how many traits I still possessed from Hufflepuff and whether Slytherin house would be proud. Smiling wistfully, I wondered if it even mattered now. Fantasy was fantasy, and while I had long dreamed of the existence of magic I now found myself in a world plagued with fear, pestilence, and war.
I strode past Narghaash and ignored his silent offer of aid to mount Tardis. Perhaps he could sense the change or smell it even, but he did not persist even as I stumbled slightly getting my foot into the saddle. Perched upon Tardis, I took the reins in my hands and waited for Narghaash to settle behind me.
Below I could still make out the forms of the men invading my home no doubt raping, plundering and pillaging my people. How proud they must be to call themselves men and not orcs. How mighty they must think themselves destroying the lives of innocents. I wondered if they could even discern child from warrior any longer.
The ledge whence we stood crumbled under us as we rose into the sky with the powerful beating of Tardis' wings. I steered him south towards the Mountains of Shadow, where we would re-gather ourselves and consider our next plan of action. As we flew away from the wall and the screams of the dying, Narghaash's arms slowly encircled my armored waist. His cheek brushed against mine even as the tears came.
I squeezed his arm and briefly scrunched my eyes to rid them of the moisture. I took in a revitalizing breath and grew strength from his presence behind me. I felt the answering rumble from his chest permeate through my armor and calm my soul. With this tenderness came feelings of resolution and strength that I desperately needed. I drew from it and realized how much there was to live for and the many souls who pledged their loyalty and love to my reign mere hours ago.
And as I looked down below me at the lava flowing from Mount Doom, I saw something I hadn't before.
Rebirth.
'I do my best to walk the finest line
Till I've had all that I can take'
Looking out to the dark mountains we were heading for, I knew that the future was not going to be easy, but I had loved ones to live for and the great land of Mordor to restore. And most importantly, I would not have to do it alone.
"It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all."
– Emmet Fox
"I'm Not Your Hero" – song by Tegan and Sara
UPDATED
AN: This is my first attempt at a LOTR fanfiction. It will take aspects from the movies and books. While this is not a self-insert story, I am going to be writing about what I know. And what I do know about (if anything ha!) is having a brother, physical therapy, and a few other odds and ends. As you my dear reader are no doubt a champion at spotting Mary Sue's by now, feel free to let me know if things are getting too unrealistic. Hopefully, you enjoy this and find some originality in it. Rating is mostly due to language, violence, and suggested themes.
AN2: Please note that no matter how I might jump around at updating my stories I will never abandon them. Especially my Transformers and Labyrinth ff as I made it a point to add their completion to my 30 by 30 list. However, the more support and reviews I get for my stories the more likely I will update that particular story.
Please READ and REVIEW!
Next Chapter: In which we see how it all began starting with an accident and kidnapping.