*Peaks head through the door*
So...hi everyone...HAPPY NEW YEA-*GETS JUMPED*
I can't explain how sorry I am for leaving you guys hanging, I lost interest in writing with school, family issues, and depression issues. But I'm going to write this,okay! DON'T GIVE UP ON ME!
I'm standing there, my heart caught in my chest.
What idiot would be stupid enough to post a picture of 2 drunk retards having a tongue session? Especially if one was already in a relationship! I was pretty sure everyone at out school knew about me and Beck being together. Hell, Tori had mass-texted everyone, posted pictures and even hacked into our profiles! Everyone knew.
But the guy I had been with went to North Ridge, out rival school.
More skin off my back.
"Well?" He snapped, his dark brown eyes were shooting off as the window of my doom. If looks could kill, I'd be shot a thousand times over. I might as well say something, since he already knew.
Lying would only make the punishment worse.
"I-I-It was,I didn't mean to-" I was cut off when he roughly shoved me inside and against the wall. His eyes are as if I'm looking into the eyes of a demon. His angry breath tickles my nose as I smell vodka on it.
He's been drinking. FUCK!
"You little slut." He growls in my ear before roughly kneeing me in the stomach causing me to cry out in pain, as tears sprung in my eyes. I fall to the floor, holding my stomach which is in horrible pain that makes periods feel like a tickle, while trying to catch my breath.
"Who fuck do you think you are? Running around like some wannabe whore when you know your in a relationship!" He grabs me by the color of my Hello Kitty shirt and slams me against the wall. "Bitch, who the hell would want to be with you? You look like a clown with all that makeup on." He gestured towards my mascara, which was running down my face from my silent tears.
"No wonder why you wear such whorish,short clothing. Because you're an attention whore, not that you're much to look at anyways." He smirks cruelly as those words hit me verbally. It breaks my heart even more.
I know I'm not pretty. I know I'm an ugly,waste of space on this world. I'm not as beautiful and curvaceous as Jade. With her gorgeous long, silky raven locks, and her dangerous, challenging icy eyes. I'm not as pretty and perfect as Tori. Long, chocolate locks that fell in perfect curls. Sweet,warm dark green eyes. I'm just plain. Plain and ugly Caterina Valentine. I've got nothing for me. I've always struggled with depression issues. Ever since I was 11, I had always been picked on by my peers. For being a freak, for being fat, for being ugly.
For being me.
My parents aren't perfect. They try their best to make me feel loved. But yet, it's not enough. Whenever my mom is stressed about something, like her cases, (She's a judge) she finds it necessary to take it out on me. My father wants me to follow in his footsteps, to be a doctor. But I feel like singing is my calling. I know he's not proud of me. I know a good actor when I see one, and he acts like he's proud. He isn't.
I'll never be good enough for anybody.
"But let me make one thing clear, Caterina Elsa Valentine." He leans closely, the stench of vodka tickles my nose. He grips my fragile neck so tightly, I hope he just might break it. "You belong to me. NO ONE ELSE. I don't know what I have to do to make it go through your thick fucking skull, but if I ever, ever catch you so much as look at a guy, I'll make sure you won't get the chance just to see as much as the fucking sun." His eyes are narrowed dangerously, and I can't keep the sobs that escape from my throat. "Do you understand me."
I try to choke out an answer, but his grip is so tight I can barely get even a breath.
He slams me against the wall again. I feel myself get light-headed.
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND!" He shouts and I whimper.
"Y-yes!" I choke out, sobbing. Beck smirks as he lets go of me, again I slide to the floor.
"Good." He gives me a rough punch across the face and I get sent flying. I hear the words 'Pathetic piece of shit'.
But they're true.
I don't bother hiding my uncontrollable crying as I curl into a ball and cry my eyes out. Times like this I wonder why I deserve this. I'm not selfish enough to inflict this pain on someone else, but why me? What have I ever done to deserve this?
Was it because I had stolen the last cookie in the cookie jar when I was 5, and blamed it on my cousin? Was it because I had nearly burned down Jade's house when I was 13 when I forgot that I had left the oven on? Or was it that time I had accidentally dyed Trina's hair pink? What have I done to deserve this pain! What?
Beck had simply ignored me, as he drank a beer he had stolen from my fridge.
"J-just kill me already!" I cried. He looked at me shocked.
"K-Kill me! Since you hate me so much, since I'll never be good enough for you, then do it! KILL ME!" I shouted, more bolder this time. Usually this would cost me getting a slap in the face, but Beck looked shocked.
"Cat...baby...I don't hate you. You just really upset me okay?" He softly stated. Oh look, the boyfriend of the year is back! Great show Beck!
"I love you okay? I'm sorry I have to hurt you. Just don't ever let me see you do something like that again okay?" He took me in his arms, and kissed my forehead.
"I love you." He said in a tone that demanded I say it back.
"I-I l-love you t-too." I whimpered, just wanting to fall into a deep sleep.
"Want me to wait up with you until your parents return?" He asks. I shook my head. I needed to be alone.
"N-no. It's okay, you can go home." He nods before pulling me into a kiss, before leaving.
Leaving me to fall to the floor, and cry some more.
I went upstairs, to take a long nap. It was about 5:30 when I went to sleep. Now it was 6:59. My parents still weren't back.
I had to go to the bathroom, so I got up and went into my personal bathroom.
I did my business, and washed my hands. Now I was looking myself in the mirror.
I looked awful.
My hair had lost it's crimson shine, and dulled to a darker red, almost brown. My eyes had bags under them, they were red and puffy, and had no life in them. I had a noticeably purple bruise on my cheek, from when Beck punched me. Also, there were hand marks from when he choked the hell out of me. Tears sprung in my eyes.
Slowly, I slid my clothes off, as I stare at my body in the mirror. I didn't't like what I saw. My breasts were small and unperky, like I had just begun puberty. My stomach was flabby, and my waist was small.
It was so ugly! UGLY
"I hate you." I whispered to my reflection, glaring mockingly at me. "I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO GODDAM UGLY! WHY! WHY CAN'T YOU BE PERFECT?" I couldn't take it anymore, so I slam my fist into the mirror with unknown strength, and it shattered into pieces, falling everywhere. Shards were sticking out of my hand and arm, and I was losing blood. But I didn't care.
I felt the pain. But I didn't fucking care.
The pain felt good. Why?
Because I'm the one who was in charge of it.
So there's another chap! SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT AGAIN! Pretty depressing huh?
LOL, I know Tori doesn't have green eyes, but in this story she does. I don't know why. :P And has anyone seen 'Frozen' I haven't but I want to so badly! Cat's middle name is Elsa, because i love the character.
Also, I couldn't think of a name...
REVIEW PLEASE! IF YOU'RE STILL OUT THERE...