Chapter 47: The fuck is this doing here?!

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

"So?"

Onoki looked at Ay annoyed. "So what? Use words. Don't mime with your muscles you brat."

The Raikage ignored the Mizukage's light chuckle. "Did you use that chain link or not? What did you see?"

"I didn't see anything." Onoki snorted dismissively, closing his eyes and leaning back in his seat.

"The Uchiha lied?" Mei asked curiously.

"No." Onoki held out a hand and revealed the ebony loop of unidentifiable material. "I'm just not going to use it."

"If that's a joke it's a bad one." Ay scoffed. "Konoha said that anyone that died will get another chain link once it is used, which is why the Uchiha gave it to you in the first place."

"There's no proof to say he used it or not either way." Mei contemplated. "Though I am curious as to why you claim to have refused in the first place."

Onoki rolled his eyes. "I'm a stubborn old shit. Between that and the disaster that happened when the Uchiha went through with it, it shouldn't take a prodigy to figure out why."

"Heh. So you're actually admitting you're a pain in the ass then?" Ay smirked.

"No more than you admit being literally the biggest fool among the Kage. Seriously, what sort of moron doesn't know how to use a door?" The Tsuchikage shot back.

"Boys." Mei sighed and rolled her eyes. "Do remember why we decided to hold this private meeting away from the Hokage and Kazekage."

Onoki snorted, clearly annoyed at being talked down to by a woman young enough to be his granddaughter. "I meant it. I'm not using the blasted thing. Neither should you two."

The Raikage frowned. "You don't trust us. Nor our counterparts. Even your own."

"It makes sense, if the Uchiha is to be believed." the Mizukage's tone grew slightly terse. "If I had melded with a version of myself that had become a toy to an enemy with the Sharingan, I doubt the results would be pleasant. In hindsight, I believe the Tsuchikage made the right decision. I shudder to imagine how explosive the outcome would be had either of you two gone through with it."

"Tch. You are really pushing it, Mizukage. Regardless of what you think, I'm still the leader of my village. I'm not some snot nosed Genin that can't keep his temper in check." Ay glared at the woman.

"Play pretend on your own time you stupid boy. Face it. We lost." Onoki snapped, grabbing both of their attention. "Our lives. Our pride. Our dignity. Our shinobi. And our villages. As Kage, it is only natural for us to be blind with rage at that outcome. That's why I'm not going through with this stupid gimmick. We are shinobi. We should know better by now than to assume we are infallible."

The room went silent as the old man's words cut deep.

"So you believe them." Mei's words held a cool edge to it. Not of warning, but of controlled caution.

"I believe that the game's changed. Whether or not everything Konoha's told us is true is irrelevant." The old man sighed and let his body sag, appearing far more frail than it had been in days. "We can believe what we want on our own time. Learn what we want through spies and contacts and whatever the brat lets slip. But only a fool could miss that we can't go ahead as we always have. This bloodstained game of ours that's been going on for who knows how long isn't just ours anymore. There are now players that won't play by our rules, our agreements, or even fight by our imagination. And that scares me more than any Biju. Tree be damned. We aren't prepared, and Konoha only somewhat is at best. Simple as that."

The Raikage and Mizukage looked at one another briefly, digesting the old man's admission. Cantankerous bastard or not, Onoki was still among the oldest and most powerful shinobi in the world, and his words held a weight that neither of them possessed.

"... What do you suggest we do then? Did you plan to come here to flaunt the fact you didn't use the damn chain and tell us to follow Konoha's nonsense?" Ay asked, his tone low and annoyed, but not as aggressive as before.

"I'm tired, not addled." Onoki scoffed before surprisingly tossing the black chain link to a surprised Mei.

"I thought you said we shouldn't use this." She inspected the trinket warily.

"We shouldn't. But there are others that can." Onoki's tone grew firm again. "Uchiha said that he killed the men you brought here in the other timeline. He didn't bring up my granddaughter, which I'm going to pray means she got away safely or at least died quickly."

"I never took you for the hopeful sort," Mei briefly glanced at Ay warily before turning her attention to the trinket in her hand. "We have to predict how they would react from the firsthand knowledge of the other timeline. Faults and all. Chojuro is meek, but he has a good head on his shoulders. He can be too dependant on me at times, but in this case that works in my favor. So long as I am here when he takes it, I'm certain that he won't be an issue. Ao…"

"The hunter with the eyepatch?" Ay snorted in amusement. "You should have let that one keep his mask. Poor bastard's all but forgotten how to behave without it."

Mei held her tongue at the Raikage's jab at her "totally not" hunter nin escort's dignity.

"Like giving you a mask would be any different. Muscle brained gorilla. The word subtlety is completely lost on you." Onoki rolled his eyes.

"Ao's loyalty is not in question." Mei cut in, getting them back on track, "But it's that loyalty that may cause some issues. He is very independent. We don't know how intense these memories are. It's possible that the Uchiha's extreme reaction could be an outlier for all we know. Chojuro looks up to me, so my support and words would reach him should the experience be too overwhelming. Ao… is reluctant to entrust himself to others."

"The sort to take suicide missions without being asked. The lizard's tail of a shinobi village." Onoki didn't beat around the bush, "Useful sort. Dedicated. Necessary. But the last we want to act on their emotions. Especially with Uchiha still here."

Ay grunted, agreeing with Onoki's assessment. "It's nearly impossible to get Darui moving unless there's a fire literally under his ass. I've sent him on more diplomatic missions into hostile territory than most of mine. Cee… I'll decide once I hear what Darui has to say."

"So we each have one shinobi that will regain their memories, and a prospective second for the Raikage." Mei mused. "We will discuss how to utilize the link afterwards and what we learned."

Her unspoken threat against the Raikage making off with the link was not missed.

"You suggest we use it on more of our shinobi. Ones that that boy of yours and Darui can identify when they're done." Ay hummed.

"I'd hold off on that for later if I were you." Onoki surprisingly didn't outright dismiss the idea. "The world is skewed and unstable enough as is. We already know what the Uchiha is about. Bring too many back and someone is bound to do something stupid eventually. It's why Konoha's played this close to their chest until now."

"So you do intend to actually go through with Konoha's nonsense to the letter?" Ay lifted a skeptical eyebrow.

"I refuse to grind and burn the dregs of sanity and stability my Village currently has," Onoki growled with a dangerous glare. "You saw and experienced the same nonsense as the rest of us. Even if some of what was crammed down our throats was just an illusion, the rest was more than enough to put us on the back foot. That Kaguya woman was real. The Biju's fear of her was real. And both of them acknowledged the boy's claims. If Danzo was a part of this I'd be the first to suggest that we're being played and to just kidnap the boy to milk him for all he knows, but that's not the case. They're as happy as we are about how fast this is going."

"So we take a wait and see approach then." Mei leaned back in her seat with a cool expression. "Learn what they know. Gather what resources we can. Play by their rules. Meet who they know. And then decide from there…"

"It's that last part that irks me." Ay crossed his arms. "It's like we are being exposed to a new continent, full of countries that we know nothing about. Only Konoha and Suna have the slightest familiarity with any of them. We are at a disadvantage."

Onoki rolled his eyes. "Think with your head you fool. If what the boy claims is true, we might as well present ourselves as resources more than people or countries. It's not Konoha that's holding the cards above everyone's heads. It's the brat."

"Do you really believe that nonsense about him starting a new village?" Mei blinked, surprised.

"If it was a month ago. Or even a couple of weeks ago, then no." Onoki shook his head. "But I watched him, the Hokage, and the others on the way here. They really didn't know what he was planning. And he will without question go through it with or without help. He said it himself: he doesn't see our approval or cooperation as necessary, only convenient so we don't cause problems for him later on. In his eyes it's already a foregone conclusion. He even shamelessly roped the Fire Daimyo in on this nonsense by kidnapping the man on a whim, fully expecting to get away with it. He genuinely doesn't give a Biju's fart one way or another about what we think or do. Honestly, I don't know whether to be pissed or relieved about it."

"Orochimaru made his own village. Look how that turned out." Ay snorted.

"Orochimaru was also an enemy to virtually every Hidden Village before he even left Konoha. As vain as he was rumored to be, even I doubt he ever had the gall to request a Gokage summit and make a pitch in front of all five of us. Much less get it to happen." Mei played devil's advocate with a wry smile. "And while it sounds naive and optimistic, I wouldn't mind playing along for now. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I'm sure you both feel that the boy would actually answer our questions. Unlike our peers."

"Don't play coy when you're speaking about yourself, girl." Onoki smirked at the poor joke.

"Like you're any better." Ay snorted.

"Pot. Kettle." Mei shook her head in exasperation.

"Which one are you?" Both men deadpanned at her with the exact same expression.

"Hilarious." Maybe it was because she was dealing with the leaders that weren't heavily involved in this nonsense from the beginning, or maybe it was because they finally knew what the hell was going on, but the three Kage in the room couldn't muster up the effort to get genuinely mad or screw each other over at the moment."If we're done playing like children, should we test out this little trinket already?"

Both men frowned before leaning back in their seats, preparing for what was to happen next.

o. o. o.

An hour later:

"Whaaaaaa! Mei-sama! Mei-sama! It's really you!"

"There there Chojuro. It's all right."

Onoki and Ay put in a good effort, but after five minutes of the next generation of the Seven Swordsman clinging onto the Mizukage like a lost child and bawling his eyes out, even they were starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

Darui, standing next to his boss, shifted slightly. "Raikage-sama, sorry, but if you give me that thing and I start to-"

"I'll punch you out before you even get the chance."

"Thanks boss."

Darui liked to think of himself as a chill and easy going guy, but there were some lines he just wasn't willing to cross. Emotional trauma or not. Clinging to the Raikage and wailing like a toddler was one of them. Much less in front of an audience.

"Mei-sama. You're really here. You're all right. I thought. I thought." The young man's sporadic words verified that at least part of Konoha's tale was true, and that the previous timeline was was just as unpleasant as Konoha had claimed. While Chojuro wasn't a seasoned veteran like the older generation and had a low sense of confidence, he was still chosen to be a member of the Seven Swordsmen. It shouldn't be possible for him to break down like this in front of others, regardless of genjutsu or torture. At worst, they all expected the boy to simply pass out from stress.

"Chojuro, I understand. But remember where you are. Who you are. We have much to discuss." The Mizukage gently calmed him down while rubbing his back, like a caring friend or even family member.

"I… right. Th-this isn't… I didn't…?!" Chojuro's words stilled as something seemed to catch his attention, and his complexion paled dramatically. "He's here… right. Uchiha's here…"

"Mizukage." Ay frowned, knowing exactly what was going to happen if the woman didn't put a leash on the boy soon.

"Sasuke Uchiha is the reason why you are here." Mei pointed out firmly, her hand slowly pressing down on his back to prevent him from getting away easily. "He's under strict guard and supervision by Konoha. They weren't too keen on giving him room to cause any more problems either."

"He's a monster. We have to kill him before he destroys everything again." Nobody missed Mei's eyes widen in surprise at the haunted and uncharacteristically vicious conclusion the disturbed young man had reached.

"This is why I hate time travel nonsense." Onoki grumbled.

"You talk like you actually went through something like this before, old man." Ay glanced at him.

"Indirectly. There were all sorts of rumors going around when the Uzumaki were at their peak and everyone was fooling around with seals trying to keep up. Time traveling. Seeing the future. Speaking to the dead. World jumping. One nut claimed to have summoned a giant monster of noodles. Most of it was utter nonsense, but every now and then someone spewed out something accurate enough that we had to take it seriously. Trying to figure out who was telling the truth, who was just insane, and who had ruined the validity of what they claimed due to the butterfly effect was a complete nightmare. None of the claims were replicable, and I assure you none of them had the potential to match the shitshow we're dealing with now."

"Makes you miss regular assassination attempts, Biju, Biju like demon gods, and the usual politics." Ay smirked. "At least we're used to those."

"Oh shut up you smug meathead." Nothing was worse than politics.

"You don't understand!" Chojuro's outburst drew them back to the matter at hand. "Uchiha's an unhinged psychopath! He killed so many of our people without any mercy, including civilians, and enjoyed it! He gloated as he fed women and children to those, those abominations, that took everyone's forms! We tried to hold on, to request for aid from the other villages, but nobody came! And then he and that Uchiha with the mask ambushed you and… he can't be trusted!"

"The Zetsu." Mei shook her head while forcing down the chill that traveled her entire spine.. "Chojuro, look at me and please calm down. I'm still here. We are still here. Remember who you are here. Remember you have experienced part of two lives now. You have met and spoken to Sasuke Uchiha on multiple occasions."

"I-I know. I know but… I can't ignore it Mei-Sama. I, you don't remember, no, you don't know. You didn't see it." Trembles wracked his body. "Kirigakure, when those plant monsters were picking off everyone one by one every day. When we couldn't trust anyone. Even Ao-sempai said that the time of the Bloody Mist under Yagura was better than the nightmare we were dealing with."

"... Bad enough that even Ao was forced to admit that to the younger generation, huh."

Much to the surprise of everyone there, the Mizukage knelt down and hugged her unstable guard.

"M–M-M-M-Mizukage-sama?!"

"You must have been terrified. I couldn't ask for a more worthy guard to stand by me throughout such an ordeal to the end." She half whispered, not letting go. "I truly am fortunate to have you leading the next generation of the Seven Swordsmen."

While her kind words had the intended effect of calming the boy down, what he didn't see was the cold glare on the woman's face. A glare that the Raikage and Tsuchikage could see as plain as day.

Ao was chosen as her guard to the Gokage summit for a reason.

He was among the elite of Kiri's Hunter and Information Ops. There were only a handful of shinobi in Kirigakure that had higher general clearance than him, and in some specific scenarios his authority surpassed her own.

He was also a hardass that was so heavily traumatized by the Bloody Mist under Yagura that he always brought it up in conversation. The Byakugan implanted in him was an experiment during those years to "use the enemy's weapons against them".

But not once had he ever claimed that any period in Kiri was worse than under Yagura's reign. The quality of the younger generation of shinobi, sure, but never the quality of life or the village itself.

In fact, during his worst PTSD moments, he had had to be held down so he wouldn't brutalize any oblivious or pretentious idiots that halfheartedly compared any part of the current day Kirigakure to the Bloody Mist.

It wasn't something he, or anyone that knew him well, would ever say lightly.

Nor was it something that Konoha would know about and use as a part of some elaborate genjutsu.

Ironically, Mei had been sold on the interdimensional monster nonsense with the Oogakari. The Biju. Kaguya. That much she could agree with considering how much evidence was simply there. It was the alternate timeline claim that she had always been skeptical of, despite Zabuza and Haku's vouch. It was just too convenient of an excuse to cover up having top tier spies.

Not anymore.

"Go to your room and get some rest." She pulled back and looked at him in the eyes, a water clone being formed effortlessly next to her. "Ao will come in shortly. You don't have to worry about the Uchiha. It's our fault you have to remember all those terrible things to all. We will take care of it."

"Boy, the Uchiha's under strict surveillance. Konoha was the first to put him under lockdown. They are more wary of his actions than you are." Onoki told the boy firmly. "If, and I do use that word with a mountain of salt, if he currently is to be believed, the monster you fought will not last long. He was fed drugs by Orochimaru that literally ate away at his soul slowly for some body transfer jutsu."

"Meaning, once the boy finally gets his head on straight, he will be predominantly the Uchiha from the current timeline. Only permanently scarred with memories and some habits from the monster you're so terrified of." Ay concluded. "Now if you're done wailing like a child, roll up your sleeves so we can give that chain link to Darui so we can repeat this nonsense.

"Love you too boss." Darui glared at the back of the Raikage's skull.

A few more words of comfort, the reveal that Chojuro did have a chain link which was given to Darui immediately, and the young man was escorted out of the room.

"You've made a decision." Onoki stated the obvious.

"I have." The woman coolly replied, her confidence still present, but her amused mirth now absent. She was clearly more than just angry. "And once Darui-san finishes recovering from his own ordeal, I believe it is one that Lord Raikage will have little issue going along with."

Darui paused as all eyes turned on him, and he briefly glanced down at the chain link in his hand as though it was going to bite him. "Sorry, but is it too late to-"

"Yes." Ay flatly denied his loyal shinobi any way out.

"... Damn it."

o. o. o.

The next day:

"... What the hell is that?" Ay deadpanned as everyone gathered in the main chambers.

He was referring to the Hyuuga Heiress standing amongst the Konoha shinobi with a fox's head popping out of her cleavage. The fox's head had the same bandages as the Uzumaki.

He also noticed that the fox had a dead, far away stare, as though it had completely given up on life.

"Looks like the brat's in good enough shape to suffer again." Onoki smirked slightly.

"Only you would consider that treatment suffering." Gaara shook his head, not bothering to question Naruto's predicament. "I take it he is well enough to contribute again Hokage?"

"He has his doctor's approval." Tsunade did not even try to hide her smug satisfaction.

"Oh dear. Should I be taking notes? Should I be jealous?" Mei held back a chuckle.

"How on earth is that torture for any red blooded male?" Kankuro shook his head in bewilderment.

"Take a good hard look brat and commit it to your soul. That's what it looks like when a free man gets married and it finally sinks in." Onoki chuckled, getting a brief chorus of laughs from most of the elder shinobi in the room, but completely missing the Mizukage suddenly freezing up and go rigid.

Gaara's brother frowned and looked at Naruto again before recognizing something. "Ooooh. Yeah, now I see it. A guy from the puppet corps had the same look half a year after he got hitched."

"I didn't know that Uzumaki was married." Mei noted, though if anyone paid attention to her, they'd be able to tell that she was thinking out loud more than anything.

"He's not, but there's not a soul in Konoha that's brave enough to say that directly to Hinata." Tsunade stated factually while pointing to the owner of the breasts that Naruto was stuck between.

At first glance, the girl seemed completely happy, at ease, and content with her boyfriend's current location.

Looking a bit deeper into her body language though…

"S̴͖̏̒p̷͈̥͗̂ë̸̗́͠ä̵͓̗͋ḵ̷̾,̴̞̿ ̶̦̦͌͠a̵̻̒͋n̶̗̿͝d̶̜̞̽͆ ̵̡̆͝j̴̘̄͝ͅü̶͔͠d̵̹̦̐g̸͍̩̒̄ẻ̴̹̻̅m̷͎̔́e̷̲̓̃ṅ̷̼̟̏t̵̤͗́ ̷̬̊̑s̴̥͇̏̚h̷̨͎͆ä̸̮́ͅl̸͚̀̓l̷̡͉̈́͝ ̴̑ͅb̴͕̗̔è̸̢̺f̷̏ͅa̶͈̠͋̚l̸̺͍͒l̴͖͐ ̷͖̉͜ú̶͎̗p̷̦̚ö̸̯́n̸̠͂ ̸̘̣̌̈́y̷̘͔͒ǒ̸̭̊ṳ̶͂͂"

Everyone, including the five Kage, slowly leaned back and averted eye contact.

"Oi. Hokage. Does your brat do anything normally?" Ay hissed to Tsunade.

"Kill me." A terrified whisper echoed in the room.

"Fear, apparently." The woman replied with mixed emotions. "Hinata, he's still recovering. Try not to keep his blood pressure perpetually maxed out will you? I doubt that it's good for him, even with his regeneration factor."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Hinata's deceptively happy expression didn't change in the slightest as she slowly petted the terrified fox in her grasp.

A few feet away, Sasuke looked at Naruto with an unreadable expression. "... Heh."

"Sakura will literally crush your pelvis. And everyone will know why when it happens." A vindictive whisper entered his ears.

The Uchiha's unreadable expression turned irritated. "Loser."

"Asshole."

"Pet."

"Crybaby."

"Nightmare."

"Bro-con."

Sasuke had a kunai glowing with lightning chakra in hand.

Naruto's tail flickered out of Hinata's chest, its tip extending with a visible wind chakra blade.

Those who weren't familiar with the two immediately went on high alert.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Girls?"

"Urk?!" Sasuke froze as Sakura somehow appeared behind him and held his neck in a death grip.

"Pah?!" Hinata didn't move, but there was a sudden gasp and then a cloud of chakra blasted from Naruto's mouth before he went limp and fish eyed.

"I thought you said you had the Uchiha under control." Ay grunted, ignoring Darui gathering chakra behind him.

"We do. That's just how these two idiots act around one another … in either timeline," Tsunade deadpanned, with a series of shameless grunts and nods of agreement from everyone else that knew Naruto and Sasuke.

"You must have had quite the ordeal trying to manage those two. My condolences." The Mizukage looked amused by the elder woman's frustration. "Speaking of the next generation though…"

"I take it that the two shinobi that have been giving Sasuke special attention are the ones you've decided to use the chain link on." Tsunade noted in an unsurprised tone before looking curiously at Onoki.

"Didn't use it. I don't trust a murdered and pissed off version of myself in this sort of shitshow." The Tsuchikage waved her unspoken question away.

Sasuke was one of the few people that noticed Naruto slowly turn his head in his direction.

He didn't grace the little shit with a response… mostly because Sakura was still right behind him.

"They want the Uchiha dead, Hokage." Ay got them back on track. "It takes a lot to get Darui to want to murder brat of yours fed us the watered down version of what he did."

"Politics." Sasuke replied dryly, giving the other Kage a smartass answer.

"Watch it boy. You're in no position to play games with us. Even that disaster Uzumaki has more clout with us than you."

Said disaster didn't respond other than widen his eyes and tear up emotionally.

"Barely."

Said disaster's reaction didn't change.

"My Chojuro and Darui-san over there are both rather adamant about addressing you permanently, Uchiha-san." Mei smiled kindly. "And while we are fully aware of your current condition, the stories they told us were rather concerning. They left quite an impression."

"Stop talking in circles. What do you want?" Sasuke scoffed and rolled his eyes, an action more in tune with his previous self than his current one.

"ANBU, in case you forgot, I'm the Hokage in this conversation and the one that will be making concessions. Not you. Remember your place." Tsunade's clipped chastising did its job as Sasuke jerked as though being shocked and then shook his head as if to rid himself of a headache.

It would clearly take some time before he found equilibrium between the two egos within him.

Mei pretended as though the exchange never happened. "Given the current circumstances and events that have transpired, the Raikage, Tsuchikage, and I have all agreed to not interfere with Uzumaki's little project, so long as it doesn't involve our operations. Any projects related to the long term development of our individual countries and villages will be decided on a case by case basis depending on the requirements and benefits. Anything further than that will require stipulations."

"Danzo and the masked Uchiha." Ay got to the point. "Those two cancers need to be dealt with before we agree to do anything else. We want to be kept up to date on any progress made on that front."

"If you expect us to be at ease with that Uchiha anywhere near our people, you're also going to give us everything about him. His jutsu, dojutsu, kinjutsu, weapons, skills. What he likes to eat. When he usually sleeps. Habits. Hobbies. Allergies. Even birthmarks. From both this timeline and the other." Onoki stated firmly. "This will not be negotiable. Even if the crimes he's committed against our villages are overexaggerated, he's infiltrated our homes and likely accessed restricted areas and information. While some of us would prefer to get rid of this disaster in the making sooner rather than later, we're giving Konoha the benefit of the doubt by asking for only this much."

"Why not just hand everything the Uchiha clan has over to you then."

"That's enough, Sasuke." Tsunade frowned.

"I'm one of the three remaining Uchiha in the world, and the only one that's been living on and managing our clan property for the last decade. Outside of a handful of secrets, everything about me is everything about the Clan. With how far my eyes have developed, handing over all of my secrets would threaten the future of the Clan for the next ten or twenty generations. All of my or Itachi's descendants would be walking targets." He held his ground firmly.

"He does have a point." Gaara relented, though never taking his eyes off of Sasuke. "There's never been a criminal from a clan that has warranted the complete divulsion of all their clan's secrets. I hope everyone can agree that Sasuke Uchiha's predicament is unique."

"Perhaps a compromise can be found." Mifune mediated. "The spreading of sensitive information is the core issue on both sides. An arrangement to prevent the information from spreading on both ends would likely be the solution."

"You're talking about seals." Ay huffed.

"Three sets of information." The normally mute Itachi spoke, catching everyone's attention. "The information from Sasuke can be split between what the Uchiha clan can afford to spread, and what can be restricted to maximum clearance only. Sasuke's knowledge of the secrets of the other Hidden Villages can be locked with a seal or jutsu. Should he break the vow of silence, a notification inscription will trigger, revealing the vital secrets of our clan to the parties he has wronged. Will that suffice?"

"That seems a bit too convenient for Konoha and the Uchiha." Mei pointed out. "Should one village's secrets be divulged, there would be no reason for him to hide the others in that scenario."

"Splitting the restricted information into three individual triggers then. That would certainly be a difficult task for any sealmaster." Onoki frowned. "It's doable. In a way, sealing a Biju is easier to pull off without harming the host. And whoever implemented the inscriptions would also have to be trusted to keep quiet about any secrets they learn about any of us."

"I have someone. They'll get the job done. No questions." Tsunade stated factually that brokered no chance of failure.

"It's the Oogakari, isn't it?" Onoki deadpanned.

"If you prefer. Another option would be the spirits of the Fourth Hokage and his wife" Tsunade offered as though she could care less.

"I honestly can't tell which is less appealing." Ay grimaced, refusing to look at Naruto. The less critical information and resources locked up in that insane brat's head the better.

"Just another day dealing with the Leaf." Zabuza muttered under his breath, getting an elbow from Haku to keep quiet.

"Itachi, you're seriously going along with this?" Sasuke looked at his brother with almost betrayal.

"We've both made mistakes, Sasuke, in this timeline and the previous. There are consequences that we need to accept. I will also be donating information about myself to address some of the crimes I have committed with Akatsuki as a sign of good faith." The elder Uchiha's expression and tone had not changed in the slightest. He was taking this all in stride effortlessly.

Sasuke looked around the room to see all eyes were on him, a few of which looked more than eager than to do more than just look.

He barely held back from manifesting his Sharingan, which would have only made things worse. It was hard to do so ever since he had regained his memories. The additional trauma from the other timeline made his doujutsu act up nearly perpetually unless he willed them back.

He turned to Itachi again, who to nearly anyone else was as impassive and unreadable as ever, but Sasuke could see the signs of concern there regardless. Even after all these years, Itachi was still looking out for him.

It twisted his stomach like a kunai.

"... Fine. With conditions." He grunted out with mixed anger and nausea.

"You're not in a good position to negotiate." Mei pointed out factually.

"You'll get my personal information and techniques without conditions. The Uchiha specific information is what will be sealed away." Sasuke held his ground. "I also want the documents to self-destruct if they're opened outside of specific circumstances in case they're stolen, or if I die. Our family has already died en masse once before. I don't want to risk that happening again. Or are the great villages that scared of a known threat that they know everything about?"

"Watch it boy." Onoki frowned. "We barely tolerate the sass we get from Uzumaki, and that's because he actually backs what he claims with proof. You have little ground to stand on. Pity only gets you so far with us."

Sasuke's eye twitched at the insult, and for a moment those in the room thought he might lash out at the Tsuchikage, but he held his temper and sighed deeply. "One more concession. This one's non-negotiable."

"Cheeky little shit's acting like we've agreed to his other demands." Ay scowled. "Why should-"

"I'm added to any hunts for Danzo and the Masked Uchiha." Sasuke cut in firmly. "I want both their heads on a spike as much as the rest of you, and right now I have more information and experience with the latter than anyone else here."

"You do realize that both of these enemies possess the Sharingan. One way or another you will have to divulge some of your clan's secrets to properly address them, if you intend to do so alongside us." Mei probed with a poker face.

Sasuke knew what she was doing, and while it annoyed him, he couldn't blame her for it.

"Sasuke Uchiha. How far has a child like you fallen, to be willingly used by such a monster to gain nothing but destruction?"

The memory of another time and place flashed through his mind. One that took place in the future.

A beautiful woman, broken and defeated, but still fighting, in her own way.

"... Izanagi is the jutsu you'll have to keep an eye out for when dealing with both of them."

All five Kage slowly sat up straight at the information.

"What does it do?" Onoki frowned, not recognizing the name.

"It's a genjutsu that turns reality into illusion. A kinjutsu. When it's activated, anything that happens to the user becomes negated. They more or less become temporarily immortal." Sasuke elaborated. "They might appear as a corpse one moment and the next be perfectly intact standing a few meters away, waiting for you to turn your back and let your guard down."

"And the cost?" The Raikage asked.

"It's chakra intensive, even for an Uchiha, but the cost varies. If the user has the blood of a Senju, or is a Mangekyo user, each activation causes permanent blindness in one eye. If you read the report on Danzo, the modifications to his arm should make sense. On average, a strong shinobi can keep a single use of it going for roughly a minute."

"Ten, no, eleven Sharingan. Twelve lives. That disgusting bastard." Tsunade cursed. She had known all of this for a while of course, but it still left a bad taste in her mouth. "What do you mean by the varying costs?"

Sasuke shrugged. "If the user has both Senju blood and a Mangekyo, it varies from temporary blindness to increased degradation of the user's vision. Knowledge on why this happens is inconclusive since the data regarding the effects of Senju blood were primarily from the warring states era and were rarely ever examined in was a period of infighting among the clan three generations before the time of Hashirama and Madara where multiple members abused Izanagi to try and kill one another for control over the clan and nearly destroyed it. The technique was deemed forbidden after the fighting was quelled and knowledge on it was restricted to elders and the clan head... And I'm the current head of the clan."

"So the rumors were true. Mangekyo Sharingan users go blind with constant have been suspicions since the warring clans era, but it's never been confirmed until now." Onoki leered at Sasuke curiously, clearly trying to figure out something else.

"That's right." Sasuke held back a smirk. "Once achieved, Mangekyo Sharingan users slowly go blind over time. If used sparingly, they can easily last for decades, but if used frequently they only last years, if not months."

The Eternal Mangekyo on the other hand…

"You sound rather calm for a shinobi with a crippling affliction." Mei frowned at a puzzle she was not seeing all the pieces of.

Sasuke shrugged helplessly. "Oogakari bullshit."

Literally everyone made a face and or groaned. It was the cheapest cop out he could use to dodge a proper explanation.

The Uchiha pretended not to hear an evil amused cackling in the wind.

The best part was that he wasn't lying. They did facilitate the mutual eye exchange between him and Itachi years ago.

"He's got us there." Onoki sulked.

"Knew it was too good to be true." Chojuro cursed under his breath.

"Damn." Darui muttered.

"Should have known they'd be brought up to do something ridiculous." Ay huffed.

"I'm so sorry to disappoint you all." Sasuke deadpanned with as much enthusiasm as his old self could muster about anything that wasn't revenge or Itachi related.

"So this invulnerability jutsu of yours. Other than blindness, the time limit, and chakra cost, are there any counters or weaknesses to it?" Onoki asked.

"Izanami." Itachi spoke up before Sasuke did. "A sister and counter jutsu to Izanagi. If Izanagi is a jutsu that"changes destiny", then Izanami sets destiny in stone, trapping the victim in an endless loop until they accept the outcome of their actions. One meant to save our clansmen from the hubris and overconfidence obtained by relying on Izanagi. Unfortunately it is an illusion designed with a means to escape, so it is not viable against our enemies."

"... Waaaaaaait." Naruto's voice echoed in the room slowly, as if piecing together something suspicious. "The details for those two jutsu weren't put in the same spot, were they? Like on the same scroll or placed next to one another on the same shelf?"

"... They were." Sasuke slowly replied, realizing where this was going and not liking a bit of it.

"So. You mean to tell me, that in the case someone, I don't know, stole or copied said scrolls, and managed to learn this Izanagi move, they would have landed not only the technique, but the counter to said technique AND the counter to said counter technique?"

The room was awkwardly quiet.

"Sasuke, your ancestors were morons."

"Shut up."

"Humph. So in the end the solution is to just kill them until they die for good, huh? A cowardly technique like that would definitely appeal to vermin like those two." Ay smirked. "That said, I can't say that I wouldn't look forward to it should the opportunity show itself."

"Yes, well, combined with that masked Uchiha's jutsu intangibility technique, it would have been quite the headache." Tsunade reminded everyone in the room. "Quite frankly, we all lucked out when he was forced to use the Mangekyo Sharingan for that technique to save himself during the fighting."

"Even with Danzo and the Uchiha's escape, the loss of the Zetsu and that sharingan eye significantly places the situation in our favor." Gaara nodded.

"I take my payments in ramen, public admissions of gratitude, and saving me from Hi-GAH?!" Another cloud of chakra burst out of the fox's mouth. "Ramen and gratitude! Just ramen and gratitude! Oh! And a pension!"

"He's still complaining about the pensions?" Sakura groaned out loud, completely ignoring the confused glances that half of the room had, and the fact that Hinata's pristine smile and composure had not faltered in the slightest while keeping Naruto from saying something suicidal.

"The system shall prove its worth. One way or another."

"Great, he's slipping into being an overdramatic pain again." Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "Money shouldn't even matter to him by this point."

"Of course it does! I'm going to avoid being poor for the rest of my life! Do you have any idea how many times I had to sell my organs to pay off Ero-Nii's debts!? Because I legitimately lost count!"

"Organs? But you…" Shibiki started slowly before he was cut off.

"Have a regeneration factor that can whip up hearts and limbs and lungs within seconds. Unless of course, I'm dealing with abstract otherworldly bullshit that can hit as hard as I can. Outside of my brain there isn't an organ that I haven't regrown from scratch at least twice over by now." The fox deadpanned. "It is also why I'm still alive, let alone conscious right now after what happened in Iwa. By all rights I should still be in a coma in Konoha."

"You did half of the current damage to yourself after literally reworking your chakra system, brat. Your prolonged mangled state is on you." Tsunade shook her head before looking at Sasuke. "We still haven't heard your response, Sasuke. What will you do about the Kage's demands?"

The Uchiha clicked his tongue in annoyance before glancing at his brother, who, as usual, was as emotive as a rock. "I stick to what I said earlier. They can have my personal information, but anything deemed a secret to the clan will be sealed unless I turn traitor or it's relevant to killing those two bastards. That, and I want unrestricted access to any mission details related to hunting those two vermin. Regardless of village. The same goes for Itachi. Whatever Uchiha secrets you learn from the fighting is free game."

"Their participation would be of great help. Both of them are powerful shinobi, even before their doujutsu are taken into account." Gaara noted. "While I don't believe that only one Sharingan wielder can fight another, I do see the logic in having one around to counter the illusions of another. Even if we have the seals Konoha provided, Sasuke's participation will certainly reduce casualties from the enemy's illusions."

"That's if he doesn't kill everyone else in the process." Darui crossed his arms. "I saw how you used that giant chakra construct of yours Uchiha. You killed as many of yours as our own during the fighting in Kumo."

"Same. He cut through everyone in his way. Zetsu and shinobi." Chojuro didn't take his hands off of his sword.

Sasuke frowned, his temper rising.

"Sheesh. And I thought I'd be a hard sell with my nonsense. So much for the stoic Uchiha charisma." Naruto side-eyed Sasuke, only to get bopped on the head by Hinata.

"Behave. You know this wasn't going to be easy."

It helped that Naruto hadn't tried to kill everyone in an insane and poorly reasoned revenge bloodlust.

"Naruto, be quiet. Sasuke's on our side, remember?" Kakashi chided from the back.

"Oh yeah."

Sakura turned to Hinata. "Hit him again. He's doing it on purpose."

"I know." Hinata bopped Naruto again.

"Ow!"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply. It took self control to not laugh as he realized what was going on. "... Send me in first then. The backstabbing cripple and the masked coward, I'll walk right into their lairs and kill them both for you if your people are too scared to fight by my side. It's probably for the best. The bastards will probably overdo it with traps and illusions that only the Sharingan can see through. Anyone you send will probably only be dead weight."

Calling them cowards and weaklings. Not the brightest or politest moves to make, but offering to deal with the most dangerous part of an assault was not exactly easy to argue against from their positions either.

"Tch." Darui grimaced, knowing that Sasuke had turned the argument against them.

"You have some balls saying that to our faces, boy." Ay growled.

"I don't care if you use me or keep me away when the fighting happens as long as those two bastards die and stay dead for once. I'm not the one that's being picky and indecisive. Just make up your damn mind, so instead of hurting your heads trying to figure out what to do with me, you can actually deal with the bastards that made me who I am and will make others like me. Just know that if you prove you can't do the damn job without my help, I will do it my way." Sasuke held his ground, his tone as condescending as possible for an Uchiha.

If the situation wasn't as serious as it was, or if it had been Naruto that said this, then the bulk of the Konoha shinobi there probably would have reacted in frustration at how blatantly arrogant the proclamation was. They all knew how stubborn Sasuke could be normally when irritated, and how outright dismissive to the world his counterpart was, but this was a step beyond what they were willing to normally tolerate.

"Heh."

Well, almost everyone would have reacted negatively.

Onoki was the first to crack. Not because he reached his limit, but because he could see the writing on the wall from half a world away. "Feh. Fine. We'll figure out what to do with you after we deal with the more annoying red eyed monsters first. Consider it a conditional probation. One step out of line and it'll be Konoha, not just you, that'll have to suffer the consequences."

"Do you really believe it's wise to leave him be, Tsuchikage?" Mei asked, more surprised Onoki gave in so quickly. She was not oblivious to the displeased look on Chojuro's face.

"I don't know what to believe at this point, but I do know that shit will be going out of control in the future with or without the bastard, if it hasn't already. If it's as bad as Konoha claims, then we need as many notable tools as possible on hand to deal with everything to come. And as infuriating as it is, the brat technically hasn't done anything worth executing him over in this timeline. And he IS the last Uchiha Konoha officially has. Doing anything to him now without anything concrete to back up our actions wouldn't do us any favors in the eyes of the public or the Daimyo."

The eldest of the active Kage turned to Sasuke again with a near murderous glare. "I stand what I said earlier though boy. One step out of line and I'll show you firsthand why that masked bastard thought it was safer to kill me on the spot."

A familiar small smirk etched itself on the Uchiha's face under his mask, and his eyebrow lifted slightly. "Don't tempt me with a good time."

"Alright. That's enough Uchiha self pleasuring for one conversation. Keep it up and I'll have to join in and make it a… fun… shiiiiiiiiiiit."

Absolutely nobody was relieved when Naruto's interruption trailed off into an unexpected and frustrated groan. Those that knew him well enough were aware that only actual problems would cause him to trail off mid sentence like that. That he had turned his head to a specific direction only further emphasized the fact that something was up.

"What happened?" Tsunade shifted slightly in case she had to fight, as did everyone else in the room. "Are we under attack?"

"Not us. Not here." The fox visibly grimaced. "Zabuza?"

"Zabuza?" All eyes turned to the Swordsman behind Mei, who they all just noticed was making the same look as the fox (despite wearing his bandage mask) in the same direction as Naruto.

"... I suggest you finish bitching and make a decision. We may have to call the meeting off early." He grunted with irritation. "Someone just nabbed the other half of the Sanbi."

o. o. o.

"Hahaha! Who would have thought it would have been this easy?" Sinnou laughed heartily as he watched the bulk of Kirigakure burn, its denizens scattered about trying to help one another or put out the flames the Sky shinobi army had started.

More importantly though was the chaos taking place at one of the furthest ends of the village where it met the coast, an unremarkable area where the waves and lava flumes of the island had carved out a massive tunnel system. This was where the Zero-Tails had manifested in its glory, had obliterated the hidden base there, and had devoured the sealed away half of the Sanbi.

Kabuto had told Sinnou where the Sanbi had been kept.

Truthfully, the remnants of the Land of Sky had a bone to pick with Kiri as well as Konoha. The Village Hidden in the Mist had once been their partners, but had betrayed them to Konoha over some deal that Sinnou didn't really care much about given what the aftermath entailed.

Kiri was a ludicrously high risk target. Between the near perpetual mist obscuring long distance attacks and logistics, their unmatched naval force in the Elemental Nations, and their army of water manipulating fighters situated in a predominantly aquatic environment, the Sky shinobi fleet would have been at a strong disadvantage from the get go.

However, Kiri, like the rest of the shinobi world, had withdrawn the bulk of their troops and resources due to the recent disaster in Iwa. Including their ships. Which left them vulnerable to an attack.

And the Sky shinobi had a Kage level spy that knew the ins and outs of Kirigakure due to working for a certain ROOT organization years ago.

A spy that also knew how to sabotage the seals around Kirigakure that manipulated the natural lava vents of the island that gave it its near perpetual "Mist" cover, removing Kirikagure's major protection from a significant aerial attack.

Throw in the Zero Tails (what certain individuals would have called "the giant space weed's afterbirth") going apeshit near a secret high security facility at the same time as a major attack intended to cripple Kirigakure's naval fleet and critical infrastructure that happened the exact moment the mist around the village went down, and well, the results spoke for themselves.

The operation was a magnificent success.

"I take it everything's gone to your liking?" Behind Sinnou, Kabuto walked up with his perpetual smile, completely unaffected by the destruction and chaos taking place.

Personally he didn't see the appeal. Action. Explosions. Bloodshed. Kabuto could comprehend why others liked it. Even Orochimaru gravitated to displays of strength and dominance every now and then. However Kabuto was more interested in progress and development, anything that revealed hidden truths or undeniable change. The more mind blowing and world altering, the better.

Granted, he had a tendency of achieving and witnessing those things through bloodshed and underhanded means, but Kabuto believed that was more of an environmental quirk than a personal one. He wasn't some wild beast after all.

"Haha. Of course. Of course. Why would I be dissatisfied? Revenge. Minimal losses and cost. And an absurd amount of chakra for the Reibi that will allow me to jumpstart plans I had put on the shelf for months. I couldn't have pictured a better way to start off my people's return to prominence if I had tried, save for the target being Konoha instead."

"If that's a request to provide my services for your attack on the Hidden Leaf, I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline." Kabuto shook his head. "My knowledge on their defenses is dangerously out of date, and their forces are actively keeping an eye out for me. In fact, I probably rank rather high on their threat list. My involvement would be a detriment to your efforts the moment I was even suspected of being involved."

"Caution is one thing, but you actually sound scared of the Leaf." Sinnou turned and looked at the former pupil of Orochimaru's with a curious and manic gleam in his eyes.

"Not the Village itself, but I do have some vindictive and unpredictable acquaintances there that I would rather not get on the bad side of. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say there's some truth to the rumors spreading about the Leaf as of late. If I break the unspoken agreement of neutrality I have with them... well, it would be problematic for me."

"Oh? You sure you want to tell me something like that? That's the sort of information I could hold over your head." The elder man asked, genuinely curious and not at all ashamed of playing with the idea himself.

Kabuto shrugged. "You can do as you wish. Konoha currently only sees me as a loose end to some rather sensitive events, beyond just Orochimaru. The only reason why I've been left alone for so long is because I have not stuck my head out the ground and have kept quiet. Revealing our association may prompt them and other parties to approach your project with more, radical approaches and investments."

In other words, Sinnou was already kicking the hornets nest, but revealing Kabuto would prompt Konoha to bring out the shit that nobody wanted to deal with.

"Hah! Is that so? You'll have to satisfy my curiosity soon then. I do intend to put the Leaf in their place after all." The madman's eyes gained a hungry gleam, no doubt eager for any and all information that would make his assault more successful.

"In due time." Kabuto shamelessly waved away the unspoken threat. "I must admit that the technology of your nation is surprising. There have always been whispers and praises for the Land of Sky's mechanical prowess, but what I see exceeds expectations. Chakra shields. Drone bombers. Aquatic fortresses that house thousands of forces. Extra long range explosive projectiles. I wonder why you asked for my assistance at all."

"If you can't do something right, don't do it at all." Sinnou preened at the compliment of his efforts. "But I can't take all the credit. The blueprints for the shields and chakra batteries were stolen from the Land of Snow, or spring or whatever they call themselves now. Repurposed from that chakra armor they've been developing and refining. As for the ships and artillery, well, we always had those to some degree, but an unexpected encounter a few years back led to us completely revamping those."

"Unexpected encounter?" That had Kabuto's attention. "You are talking about the outside countries. Were they truly that advanced?"

"Nah. Most of them were deeper in the sticks than the usual towns of farmers. They still act like they're still in the warring clans era." The doctor waved the spy off. "But there were a few groups here and there that were worth trading notes and secrets with."

"And making sure not to get in the other's way, no doubt." The light reflected off of Kabuto's glasses. He would not be surprised if an aggressive foreign entity made contact with the elemental nations in the near future, though how successful they would be would be another matter entirely. That said, given how Sinnou spoke of this group, they were probably a force significant enough to give at least one Hidden Village a headache and serve as a distraction. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to point me in their direction and offer an introduction, would you?"

"I wouldn't mind, but truth be told I'd be doing you a kindness if I didn't. They were the sort that got high off their own pride and victories. Strong, ruthless, and willing to go the extra mile, but unrefined and undisciplined. They would have lost Orochimaru's interest within a week, and yours even faster."

In short, they had interesting toys and gimmicks, but the group itself wasn't worth making an alliance with.

Odds were that when Sinnou gave them directions to the elemental nations, they'd show up far away from where the Sky Shinobi were conducting operations. Probably near Suna or Iwa.

"Ah. A pity. And you made them sound so interesting at first too." Kabuto meant it. He'd still keep an ear out for this group for the time being, but his interest in them had notably dropped. "For now I recommend you tidy up your chores here and get your affairs in order before leaving. Recollect your spoils and resources and such. I don't want to distract you and your men from your success. You still have an image to maintain."

"Humph. If anything else, you have a silver tongue like that snake." Sinnou shook his head, the fire in his body language tempering into something more controlled. "But you are right. The Zero Tails needs monitoring after this feast, and Amaru always gets a bit troublesome if I'm away for too long. You don't mind offering a bit of help there, will you?"

Kabuto laughed, his expression not changing in the slightest. "If your apprentice is such a troublemaker, I might have to ask for compensation if this keeps up. Like you said, she does worry about her troublesome teacher."

"Don't push it. Everyone in the business knows you did chores like this for Orochimaru regularly. This will be an easy job with a cost to match. A treat to add to your paycheck."

"A regular job does not entail babysitting an experimental jinchuriki with an unregistered Biju that just consumed half of another today. Proper price for proper risks and value Sinnou. Pretending to be philanthropic is what we do with our toys and targets, not with proper business associates." For once, Kabuto's expression dimmed slightly. His smile was less convincing, and his kindly gaze developed a slight edge.

For a moment, it looked like Sinnou might react to the riposte with more than just words. "Tch. I suppose this is what I get for inflating your ego so much this past week. Should have just kept treating you as Orochimaru's right hand. Fine. We can work something out later. Keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't get into any trouble. The last thing we want is for anyone annoying to find out what she really is."

"That's all I ask." Likewise, Kabuto returned to normal. "If that is all, I shall head for your apprentice."

Off in the distance, the countless black tendrils of the Zero Tailed beast sunk back into the waters, leaving bodies and devastation in its wake.

Reaching back, the young man took off the band that held his silver hair together while adding a black strip of color on the left side of his hair. Just as effortlessly with his other hand, he removed his glasses while putting in contact lenses to change his eyes to a soft green color.

It wasn't a full transformation, and anyone looking for him would be able to identify him with a closer look, but for the locals of Kiri, the changes were enough that it was unlikely that anyone would figure out that Kabuto Yakushi had been in the area until he was long gone, if ever.

Not that he intended to interact with many people while he was here. Another boon to being an introvert. The less people he talked to, the better.

"Bring her back to the base quickly. Like you said, we don't know how the Reibi will affect her with the Sanbi's chakra taken. She might be noticed or caught" Sinnou waved him off. "I, on the other hand, am just a concerned wandering doctor that had been visiting to trade some medicinal herbs that's willing to lend a hand to the unfortunate."

Kabuto smirked as he walked away. "How fortunate for Kirigakure."

"Ha! With friends like us, who needs enemies?" Sinnou laughed loudly as he walked to his destination.

He didn't notice Kabuto's smile widening further as the latter went to perform his next duty. "Indeed."

o. o. o.

"Is there a reason why you are holding us up, Hokage? In case you haven't noticed, we are in a hurry." Mei frowned, standing at the entrance to the military base. It had only taken an hour for her shinobi to pack up their items and be prepared to leave.

Tsunade lazily lifted an eyebrow. "I merely came with a simple proposition given the circumstances, Mizukage."

"How convenient." Ao scowled. "How are we sure you didn't plan-"

"Ao, shut up or I'll kill you." His boss cut him off without any regret, never turning away from her senior. "Go on. I hope you will make it worth my valuable time."

"I intend to pay it back in dividends." Next to the woman, Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke, and Hinata appeared, with the sleeping Naruto still in the latter's clutches.

"No." Chojuro hissed, his eyes on Sasuke and his hand on his sword.

"As generous as the extra forces are, I'm afraid we need to move with speed in mind." Mei stated calmly.

"BLAGH!"

With a grotesque belch, Naruto's mouth opened to upchuck a disproportionately large puppet into the air, which then poofed in a cloud of chakra to reveal Minato Namikaze between the two groups.

The newcomer smiled kindly and twirled a familiar kunai in his hand. "Will this be fast enough for you?"

"The Flying Thunder God." To her and her shinobi's credit, they were only caught flat footed for a few seconds.

"Nice entrance." Zabuza deadpanned. "How do you deal with the stomach acid and bile?"

"It's not that much of a problem once you know the right techniques. I had practice when I was with the toads." Minato shrugged.

"Convenient."

"Wait, you can teleport to Kirigakure?" Ao paled rapidly in alarm at the security ramifications.

Minato shook his head in denial. "No. I've never set up an anchor in your home. But if memory serves, you recently met my son somewhere much closer than here."

"Moon Country." Haku gasped in astonishment, recalling the chaos that happened in the resort island country. "Even if we ran now, it would take us almost two weeks to get back home at a full sprint and that's if we had a boat ready for us once we reached the coast. But Moon Country is only three days by a stable ship."

"With the Hawk summons, I can get you there in one at most." Sasuke stepped forward, his expression completely neutral.

"Half that if Naruto gives them a boost in the process." Kakashi added, "Not that he'd come with us to Kiri in his current condition."

The sleeping Naruto sneezed, and his neck cracked making his head shift to the side.

Hinata snapped it back into place as though nothing was amiss.

"Probably for the best." Zabuza deadpanned, and pretty much everyone nodded in agreement.

"You want your shinobi to come and assist us in Kirigakure." Mei frowned at Tsunade, putting the pieces together. "Including Uchiha."

"Consider it a test and an opportunity. The original point of this gathering was to have us get along to some extent to cooperate for situations like this." Tsunade shrugged. "If the one responsible for the attack is Danzo or the Masked Uchiha, he will tilt the odds in your favor. Kakashi and Sakura will keep Sasuke in line if he does act out and offer support in the meantime. Sakura's one of the best medics Konoha has to offer, so it's not like you'll only be getting fighters in the process."

"Mizukage-sama. You're not seriously considering going through with their request." Ao frowned, not liking this situation in the slightest.

"I've already written down all the bases and major secrets I know of for Orochimaru and the masked bastard. There isn't much else I know that's relevant for the rest of the summit. Everything else that will be argued about can be covered by the Hokage." Sasuke spoke up, bringing up how little relevance he had with the summit now.

"And the Tsuchikage and Raikage are fine with you leaving like this?" Mei accused, holding eye contact with the Uchiha despite the risks.

"Even if I am still not completely recovered, you don't need to bother with me. Unfortunately I… my other self's, unhealthy thirst for revenge is here. Fortunately, it's pointed in the right direction for once."

Kakashi lazily placed a hand on Sasuke's left shoulder, complete with a cheerful eye smile. "What I believe is more fortunate is that unlike before…"

Sakura joined her teacher, resting her hand on Sasuke's right shoulder, and gripping it more firmly and adorned with a smile that promised consequences. "We will be with him the entire time, keeping a close eye on him to make sure that he doesn't do anything… stupid."

"How refreshingly to the point you are." Mei noted.

"Oh I assure you, we have vastly more colorful and elaborate ways to describe any potential major mishaps that might take place." Kakashi cheerfully pushed Sasuke left and right. "In Konoha, the legacy of Team Seven has an infamous history to it. Some even claim a curse. The Sandaime's team. The Sanin. Minato Namikaze. Why even I was a part of Team Seven when I was young."

"And look how we all turned out in the end." Sasuke deadpanned.

"You and Naruto were recovery projects before even making the team. I was supposed to be the normal one." Sakura chided without any pity.

"And then we dragged you down to our level." Sasuke fired back.

"They grow up so fast." Kakashi mock cried in pride.

"You're even worse." Both Sasuke and Sakura glared at their teacher.

Naruto looked at them hopefully.

"You're just a lost cause." Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke cut him off before he even said anything.

Naruto cried silently, prompting Hinata to pet him.

The Mizukage made a mental note to have all spies in Konoha be on alert for any new "Team Seven"s from Konoha.

"Kakashi. Sakura. If he acts up, give him the Naruto treatment." Tsunade stated flatly.

Sasuke pretended that he didn't shiver.

"If he still acts up, give him the Ghost treatment."

This time he threw dignity out the window and looked at his boss with a look of horror and betrayal.

"Yes Ma'am." Kakashi and Sakura nodded without hesitation.

"Context?" Mei asked with curiosity and interest.

"Naruto has a regeneration factor." Sakura's grip on Sasuke tightened while her smile remained ever present. "Ghost is outright immortal."

"Ah." The Mizukage pretended to ignore the shaking fox in the Hyuuga heiress' grasp.

Perhaps there was another reason why the Jinchuriki wanted to make another Hidden Village away from Konoha than just global security.

Also, it suddenly made sense how Konoha had kept itself running and functional despite the increase in chaotic behaviour displayed by its more notable members.

"Mei-sama." Chojuro looked at her pleadingly, begging her to do something about Sasuke.

"We accept."

"What?" The teen paled at record speeds.

"Under the condition that Uchiha stays outside of the village unless supervised or to combat the ones responsible for this situation in the first place." The Mizukage amended.

"So I'm basically in a tent outside the village when I don't have a babysitter." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Fine. Whatever you want. It's your village. Your rules. Can we focus on the important part? You know, finding out who had the nerve and resources to attack a Hidden Village and steal half of a Biju that had been under heavy guard and hidden away that nobody should have known about while every major military force in the elemental nations was already on high alert in the first place?"

"What I think Sasuke means to say is that time is of the essence." Kakashi stepped in before anyone could snap back at the Uchiha. "If we can reduce the time it takes to get to Kiri to only half a day, there's a chance we can intercept the enemy before they leave. If not, then we should be able to track them to their base of operations. We are after all in Iron, and everyone knows it. Nobody expects the Mizukage to find out what has happened so quickly, let alone return within a day of the event. They might be overconfident and sloppy enough for us to turn things around and rectify the situation faster than anticipated."

"Oh for fuck's sake." Losing his patience, Zabuza walked up to Minato with an annoyed glare. "Just shut up and warp me. I'll get to Kiri swimming before these idiots finally shut up."

"Zabuza! What on earth are you-?!" Ao's demand was cut off as Kubikirihocho was unsheathed and pointed in his direction.

"It's everyone being cowards that second guessed everything that let Yagura's shit go for so long in the first place. Play twenty questions. Play a hundred for all I care. I'm going now. Haku."

The ice user didn't wait a second to move to his side, completely ignoring her comrade's stares and protests.

It only took a moment for Mei to regain her composure, sigh, and walk forward. "My decision hasn't changed. I accept your proposal, Hokage."

"But-"

"Chojuro, you are a member of the next generation of Seven Swordsmen. Our home is under attack. Uchiha is cooperating. Either come with us or travel for weeks and see what's happened to Kirigakure when everything is over." The woman's tone was firm, clipped, and final.

The sharp toothed young man clicked his tongue, but reluctantly took his hands off his sword and walked forward. "Yes, Mizukage-sama."

One by one the Kiri party stepped towards Minato, unsure of what to do and all on guard.

"I know it doesn't mean much, but I do apologize for the complications." Tsunade sighed.

"No. It's our fault." Mei shook her head. "Raikage, Tsuchikage, and I were the ones that pressed the Uchiha issue. We wouldn't be having this conflict of emotions and interests if we had just trusted you to begin with. You will have our answer on Kirigakure's support once this new issue is cleaned up. I thank you again for your assistance on behalf of our people."

"Mmm." The Hokage nodded before glancing at her predecessor.

"Right." Minato knelt down, formed some seals, and slowly began to glow red with demonic chakra. "Everyone stay close. This is going to be a big jump so we need to make sure that there's no issues."

"If anyone told me the Yellow Flash was going to teleport me all the way from Iron back home to help my home before this week, I would have gutted them." Ao groaned. "The world really has gone sideways."

"If only that was it." Zabuza smirked.

"Get ready everyone! I've been told the first time's a bit of a trip!" Minato now was enveloped in a stage one chakra shroud and slammed his hands on the ground, surrounding the group in a sealing circle.

"Hiraishin!"

In a yellow flash, The dozen shinobi in front of Tsunade vanished.

o. o. o.

In a yellow flash, the dozen shinobi appeared on top of a mountain in Moon country.

In the middle of a seasonal Typhoon.

o. o. o.

Near Kiri, Kabuto paused and turned in a certain direction.

"... Oh dear. That's much faster than expected. I'll have to expedite a few tasks."

A small serpent lifted itself from his clothes and opened its mouth.

"What is it? Did you forget something?" Sinnou's voice whispered from the animal as though it was a speaker.

"Nothing immediate, but I think it might be best to do a second round of attacks during our retreat soon. To distract any homecoming reinforcements just in case. Nightfall or daybreak at the latest."

"I thought you said you didn't mind if we stayed and collected a few more samples and trophies for another day or two?" The man did not sound pleased.

"Yes, well, I'm also a bit of a coward at heart. And right now that part of me is saying that it would be better to leave sooner rather than later."

"... Is that so?" Sinnou sounded as though trying to piece something together before sighing. "Fine. Far be it for me to question the instincts of a successful coward. Especially one of Orochimaru's."

The silver haired young man almost preened. It was nice to have someone recognize his more notable qualities.

o. o. o.

"Of fucking course!" Zabuza swore just barely above the howling winds as they were all pelted by high winds and heavy rain, turning to Naruto accusingly. "I blame you brat! It's never simple when you're around! NEVER!"

Lightning struck nearby, deafening nearly all there.

"So this is what a tropical storm is like in the sea." Kakashi blatantly ignored everyone's discomfort and looked around curiously. "It's quite the experience."

"One more word sensei and you'll experience how a medic shuts up a patient on the field!" Sakura shouted.

"Already-"

"Tsunade-sama's version!"

"Never mind." The cyclops turned to Hinata and her somehow sleeping charge. "Naruto! Can you do something about this please?!"

Instead of responding, the animal trapped in Hinata's chest yawned widely… only instead of mere air, it seemed to produce a wide bubble that rejected any water and wind that impacted it.

A bubble that expanded wider, and wider, blowing up at a ridiculous rate until the entire top of the mountain was no longer being assaulted by rain or wind.

"Much better. Thank you Naruto." Kakashi cheerfully thanked his student.

The fox yawned again.

"How do we know we're even in Moon Country? We could be anywhere." Ao asked warily.

"We're in Moon. I see the King's castle right down there." Haku pointed past the barrier where enough lights were lit in the storm to make out the familiar building.

"Well, now that we have momentarily addressed the unexpected surprise that nature has given us, shall we move to the next step?" Mei proposed politely, making some seals and drying everyone off by evaporating the water on them into steam.

"And how do we do that?" Ao frowned, glancing at Sasuke. "Summons are useful and powerful, but I doubt even the boss of the Hawk clan would be able to pass through this storm."

"Naruto." Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke, Minato, Haku, and Hinata stated evenly at once as though it was obvious.

"Oh come on!"

"You get used to it. Eventually. Bullshit is apparently multipurpose." Zabuza blatantly lied, truly feeling for the man. "If the kid was in better shape I would have half expected him to just blow away or cut in half or whatever this storm by now… he can't do that still, can he?"

"Not as he is." Minato shrugged helplessly while eyeing the natural disaster taking place around them. "If he was even a bit better, I think he'd have been able to make a shielded slipstream that would have carried you all the way to Kiri in a single go. Most he can do right now is give the summons a rain and wind shield and a small boost."

"That's good enough for me." Sasuke slammed his hand on the ground, the small blade in his glove providing the required blood. "Summoning."

Three large clouds of dust revealed three large hawks, each big enough to carry a full team of shinobi.

"Lord Sasuke, I understand you need our services, but I don't think we will be able to fly in… this…" The largest and strongest of the three animals spoke in the human tongue, looking around with its sharp eyes before trailing off and noticing something was amiss. "This flow of wind…"

"Yeah, it's the idiot I've always warned you about. He's going to give you three a boost that should last until we get out of the storm."

"Indeed, but it is not the wind of One that Rules All Above that concerns me." The summon leaned forward and peered into Sasuke's eyes. "The air around you has changed, young summoner. It is conflicted. Fighting itself to stray and keep steady simultaneously. As though you were two winds in one."

"You can always rely on the summons to pick up on things like this." Minato nodded confidently.

"It's a long story." Sasuke admitted. "But we need as fast a flight as possible."

"And this is no wind for carrying tales." The Hawk nodded, breaking eye contact to inspect his future passengers. "A curious party you have with you this time, and no doubt another story to spread eventually. Word among the summons is that your friend carries a significant task and burden that dwarfs the biju themselves. Are we to escort him as well?"

"Word travels fast." Sasuke shook his head. Most summons loved to gossip about the human world, and the ones that flew were the worst of them. Itachi genuinely complained about how bad the Crow summons could be at times. "No. He's needed elsewhere, and where we are headed might be too much for him in his current state."

"I see." Peering down at Naruto, the summon's glare sharpened for a moment. "Very well. I know better than to test skies that I cannot fathom. Come. If time is of the essence, then any talking can wait."

"Everybody up. One team per summon. Takamaru's got a point." Sasuke instructed as he leapt onto his mount, followed by Sakura and Kakashi. Mei, Zabuza, Haku, and Ao jumped on the second while the third had Chojuro and the remaining shinobi. "Naruto! We're ready!"

The fox in Hinata's grasp yawned yet again, and all three Hawks momentarily stiffened as they began to glow with power and the winds around them seemed to bend to their will.

"You will have to call me out more often around your friend, Sasuke." Takamaru hummed pleasantly. "The winds he provides are exquisite."

"No, you really don't want that." Every member of Team Seven deadpanned, glancing back to where Minato and Hinata were still standing.

None of them missed the sight of Naruto's head going limp with zero energy and breathing visibly.

"Go on! We'll be fine!" Minato waved them off before making some seals and vanishing with those left behind in a flash.

Within seconds, the larger barrier around the top of the mountain began to visibly shrink.

"Too late for regrets now." Zabuza smirked under his mask as he faced the oncoming wall of water heading their way. "Let's go already!"

"Right!"

All the shinobi crouched down on their mounts and braced themselves as they took flight, hunkering down as they lifted off and approached the wall of water heading their way and prepared to get drenched…

Only to be pleasantly surprised as they realized that the howling winds and torrential rain skid off a small barrier that hovered a few meters around each hawk, making the trip almost pleasant.

"Which direction is Kiri from here?" Sasuke asked through their headset, only for the bird that the Mizukage was on to turn a bit to the right and take lead for a moment to point them in the right direction.

And then they were off.

o. o. o.

Meanwhile:

Four dirty idiots sat in front of a pile of signs and a bowl were in front of them.

Homelezz. Plz Hlp.

Will be sane for food.

Pet the demon dragon god thing. Five Ryo.

Beware the training wheels. They know the truth about the color purple.

Kiba read the signs, then looked up at Ghost, Shadow, Waltz and Crypt with a lifted eyebrow.

"We're still under house arrest. But we no longer have a house because of these idiots. So we're stuck on the property lines." Waltz stated emotionlessly.

"Can't you guys just, you know, make another one? Or use the basement?" Kiba asked cautiously.

"Scab's the only one that has a license to build anything within Village limits, and we don't want to give Tsunade another reason to throw more paperwork at us. As for the basement, Scab locked us out of that."

All eyes turned to the side to see a metal box nearby with a closed vault like door on one side, complete with a flashing LED light sign on top.

Fort Scab. No assholes allowed.

Oh boy. You knew Scab was pissed when he gave up trying to be mature and used the same childish language that his siblings used.

He was clearly holding a grudge against his siblings for anchoring him in the house when they set it on fire.

Ghost wrote another sign and put it up.

Will sex for food. And food for sex. Sex plz.

Shadow then made hers.

Improper baby holding classes tonight at seven. Bring your own velcro.

Waltz finished his next sign.

Eggs. Milk. Flour. Cereal. Rice. Cheese. Onions. Garlic. Peppers. Pork. Chicken. Lemons.

It was a fucking grocery list.

The old bastard had given up on caring at this point.

Crypt slammed his face on his own board.

Don't look in the box under your mother's bed. It has a mind of its own.

"Wait, two of you were punched into orbit a few days ago." Kiba frowned, already wiping his mind clean of what he had just learned for his own sake.

"Technically anyone can own the airspace above their property instead of the village so long as they can prove they can be responsible and protect it from outside forces." Waltz grunted. "Failure to do so runs a heavy fine and confiscation of the property."

The Inuzuka opened his mouth to argue against that before pausing, looking up, and then at the Oogakari again. "... Okay, yeah I can probably guess you guys have some bullshit that can reach up to the moon if you wanted. So, what, Waltz launched you straight up and you landed straight down again?"

"Scab's really soft if you hit him at terminal velocity." Shadow giggled.

"Yeah I can see why he bunkered down now."

"... Why are you here again?" Ghost asked curiously.

"The fuck if I know anymore!"

"Mah. Don't worry. It's not like anything important will happen here anytime soon." Shadow waved him off with a half lucid smirk. "With all the bullshit whispers around this place, anyone that would try something stupid would probably go somewhere else. You're welcome."

"Nobody in their right mind would thank you for those!"

"Mhmhmhm." The woman swayed left and right childishly. "I wonder…"

o. o. o.

Off the seaside coast of the Land of Wind, a foreign military ship deployed multiple boats filled to the brim with armoured forces.

o. o. o.

Near Kirigakure, several distinct militarized ships launched hundreds of shinobi armed with gliders and heavy explosives into the air.

o. o. o.

In a private building, Danzo sat before the leading military figures of a certain country, a red glow visible around the bandages on one of his eyes.

"I hope you can see the severity of the current situation, and how our interests align. I recommend that you move your forces as soon as possible."

o. o. o.

In a discrete base in the north in a nameless land, two masked men bid their time and plot their next moves.

Well, one did. The other was screaming in agony as his body adjusted to what the former did to him.

o. o. o.

Shadow's smile widened. "Nah. You're right. We're better off just sitting and waiting right here where it's quiet.

"... Oh fuck something big's happening, isn't it." Kiba paled.

"Who knows?"

"Shadow!? Shhh! Spoilers!" Ghost elbowed his sister.

"Let the kid have some peace will you?" Waltz rolled his eyes.

"Team Something Something Boom Boom Wryyyyy!"

"Shut up you idiots! I'm trying to be menacing and mysterious!"

"Yeah I'm just gonna, raise the security level of the village by a level now," Kiba pointed in a random direction and slowly backed away. "Uh, just to be sure, it's not going to be a, you know, YOU level problem, is it?"

"Just go. If we actually need to step in to handle something, you'll know after the fact. If at all." Waltz waved him off tiredly.

"Right. Uh. In that case, thanks, I guess. And I hope you get your whole, homeless thing fixed."

"Don't worry. We're professional hobos!" Ghost stated proudly.

"I wonder why." Turning around, Kiba ran back to the village before he could hear Ghost start rambling about the "Homeless Union" and the "Certification Qualifications" that they weren't at liberty to talk about because Scab was a "pretentious rich asshole with a house".

It was going to be a long week.

o. o. o.

Omake: You knew this was going to happen again.

Little Timmy was excited. For it was Christmas eve night.

His eyes were exhausted and heavy, but he would persevere. He would lay eyes on Santa this year. No matter what the others said, he was certain the patron saint in red was real. He was…

The child's body shivered as he hid in his living room behind the La-z-boy sofa. It was like the entire room held its breath in a deep gasp.

One moment there was no one there in the room.

The next was a large, jolly looking fellow in a red coat and hat. With glasses and swollen red cheeks from the winter cold.

Little Timmy couldn't help but feel like his heart was bursting with joy. He was real! He really was real! He was-

The room stilled again.

"Nick."

"Oh come on."

Not alone.

Just as sudden, a new man appeared just as quickly as Santa. A tall man in black and white with long hair and sunglasses even in the dark…

SLAP!

And slapped Santa across the face!

The room held its breath, whether in gall of what had happened or in anticipation of what would…

RING RING RING!

As though a switch went off, everything went into chaos with the ringing of a bell that belonged more in a wrestling contest than anything else.

"AAAAAND HERE WE ARE AGAIN FOLKS FOR THE ANNUAL GHOST VS. NICK CHRISTMAS FACE OFF! RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW IN LITTLE TIMMY'S LIVING ROOM! THE CHALLENGER GHOST HAS MADE HIS DECISION TO MAKE THIS ROUND A CLASSIC YET BRUTAL SLAP OFF!" The world warped around the boy as his cozy small living room spun and warped into a literal large basement style arena, complete with crowd, tables, and some random guy with dyed green hair acting as the announcer.

And somehow, Timmy found himself sitting next to said announcer.

"NOW TIMMY! TELL US ALL WHAT YOU THINK OF TODAY'S MATCHUP?!" The man mechanically turned his head towards the paralyzed and very confused child.

"I. Uh. What? Santa?"

"YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS! OUR HOST IS CLEARLY IN NICK'S CORNER FOR THE NIGHT'S EVENTS!"

"WOOOOO!"

If Timmy wasn't suffering from extreme whiplash, he would have noticed that the crowd around him consisted of more than drunk humans, but partying elves, snowmen, and reindeer as well.

"CLASSIC SLAP RULES APPLY FOLKS! THREE ROUNDS! FIRST TO DROP, CONCEDE, OR BE OUTVOTED BY OUR JUDGES IS OUT!"

"KICK HIS ASS NICK!"

"LEAVE A MARK THAT'LL LAST THE YEAR!"

"AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE HOLIDAY CHEER IS CLEARLY BLOWING IN THE CHRISTMAS FAVOR THIS YEAR FOLKS!"

Timmy didn't know what was going on. He was hoping that Santa would help, but the bearded man was just sighing, taking off his coat and whoa! Santa was jacked!

"Hey. First time?"

Timmy nearly jumped out of his seat and turned to his other side to see a blonde teen boy with whiskers that looked way more sane than everyone else here. He was also eating… noodle soup with a ribbon around the bowl?

"Don't worry. This happens every year." The teen sighed before using chopsticks to eat some of his soup. Timmy never got the hang of using those things. It was too hard.

"Wh-why?" The boy began to ask, only to be cut off.

"Up-up-up. Shhh. You're normal kid. Don't ruin that for yourself trying to understand this. Just accept that this thing happens, and your, Santa guy person, has a personal life. And that personal life involves smacking around that guy once a year for shits and giggles.

WHAM!

Timmy turned to see the stranger in black and white get literally hammered by Santa's muscular limb, flying across the room and cratering into the wall.

The crowd cheered.

"AND WE ARE STARTING OFF STRONG TONIGHT WITH NICK'S OPENING MOVE! HOW WILL GHOST RESPOND ONCE HE DISLODGES HIS FRACTURED SKULL FROM THE WALL?!"

"Santa?" Timmy shrunk into seat, even more confused. For some reason, Chris Kringle's muscles seemed to be even bigger than they were half a minute ago.

"Don't worry. You'll be fine. Just imagine everyone here is an idiot from a cartoon, or drunk, and it'll all fall into place." The blonde teen patted the boy calmly. "Nobody here will hurt you. Just like nobody here will touch my christmas ramen. Or they will suffer."

"... Christmas ramen?" Timmy looked at the boy's noodle confused.

"It makes me jolly and forget about the things that make me cry." Naruto smiled cheerfully before practically unhinging his mouth and shoveling a massive wad of noodles and ingredients into his mouth.

CRACK!

"AND AS EXPECTED, GHOST ABUSES TIME AND SPACE TO ATTACK AND ACCUMULATE POWER FOR A DEVASTATING FRONT HAND THAT HAMMERS A HAPPY HANGOVER HALFWAY TO THE NEXT REALITY!"

The strange man in black and white had practically teleported back to the table with his hand a blurred mess before launching it at Santa's skull, hitting it so hard that it looked like it was stuck in the air itself.

"S-Santa?" Little Timmy squeaked as cheers and boos roared in the room.

The next morning, the boy woke up shivering from a nightmare he couldn't remember.

The gifts from Santa were more than normal this year, which was great.

He could have done without the wrestling tickets though. Or the ramen packets that were stuck in his stocking.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Thanks Andrevious for betaing:

Behold! Merry Christmas! Nothing says holiday miracles than Necromancy!

I can't talk much! Loads of things happening at home! Still writing other stuff and cleaning up! Expect much merriment!

Big long year for me for those that don't know! I worked my ass off! I bought a house! I'm still updating said house! I was actually productive! And I STILL HAVEN'T FUCKING FINISHED FFD!

Seriously though, I have around 4-5 chapters left of that damn story. And I. WANT. IT. DONE.

Gotta go do things around the house for my family! Enjoy the holidays everyone! I'll definitely update this story more frequently this next year!

Enjoy your Gift(s)!

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! SASUKE SHOULD HAVE ASKED THE GUYS FROM KIRI IF ANYONE GOT AIRSICKNESS BEFORE HEADING OUT! AND REVIEW AGAIN!