I am so happy to have gotten only two reviews really but I was just happy to write this. :)
"Hey you good for nothing balding bastard! Wake up and make me something to eat!" A foot made contact with my back and shoved me off the bed. I had the brief sensation of falling before my cheek made contact with my wood floors. Groaning I turned over and fully expected a weight to drop on my stomach and start bouncing on me as I was used to but when my eyes met Lovina's I almost screamed.
Scrambling backwards, I finally got my legs under me to stand up and assess the situation.
Lovina was on her hands and knees wearing only a very revealing cammie and some short shorts. I cursed both and looked away, trying to calm down my flaming cheeks. A cross face was something I was used to on Lovino so I also thought that Lovina's was cute. The trademark curl bounced slightly when she sat back on her heels to look at me and cross her arms. I don't think she was trying to but I'm ashamed to say she was turning me on...
"H-how's you get into my house?" I stuttered, trying to focus on something else. She pulled out a key from her pocket and huffed.
"I have this, you know." She twirled it around her finger and looked at me curiously. How'd she get the key to my house? I gave one to Lovi but what actually did happen to Lovi?
"So? Are you gonna make me something or what?" She nodded to the kitchen and got up from the bed, padding out of the bedroom. In a daze, I stumbled after and found her sitting at the bar top that connected to the island in the kitchen that had the stove plus extra cabinets on either side of the stove. She seemed very fidgety for some reason, twirling in the spinning chair and kicking out her bare legs.
Automatically, i pulled out a skillet to make some eggs and sausage. All the while I was cooking, Lovina's eyes followed every movement, mostly staring at my hands as they cracked the eggs, managing the sausages and then placing it all on a plate.
It was just like any morning I used to spend with Lovi, except for the fact that Lovi was now female.
When I placed the plate before she looked at me curiously.
"Aren't you going to eat, Antonio?" I don't think I did but I think I flinched when she said my name. I was used to Lovi's voice say it and the girl with Lovi's just said it casually, as if it was nothing to her. It isn't her fault but it made me remember that Lovi was gone. Even so, I smiled for Lovina.
"It's alright. I'm not hungry anyways," I waved her off and went back to the bedroom to get dressed. When I came back, Lovina had moved to the couch, her dish placed in the sink but washed and clear of any remains. She was snoozing for some reason, her chest and curl rising with each breath.
Despite being the girl version of Lovi, she still has the effect that Lovi had on me, only slightly less.
Almost mystified with myself, I carefully sat in the chair next to couch and reached for Lovina's face but stopped right before touching her cheek.
What is wrong with me? I thought suddenly. Are you that desperate to cling onto Lovi's existence that you're going to try to replace it with Lovina's existence? You're really going to try to pull something when your heart is still on Lovi?
Internally I fought and kept going back and forth, eventually just confusing with myself and then just giving up.
Sighing softly, I got up and went back to the bedroom, slipped between the covers and closed my eyes.
Get it together. You need to be strong. I sighed again. Get used to this feeling. It's probably never going to go away as long as you still love Lovi.
Antonio was stupid. I had no intention of making him like me but I couldn't help but watch the way he did everything. It was like I'd never seen someone make eggs and sausage. He gave me no sign that he was flustered by my staring, but his hands were so... Mystifying.
Geeze. I sound like a love struck school girl.
After finishing breakfast, i felt warm and full, the perfect combination to fall asleep again. That was not an issue at all. Siestas were a blessing now a days.
I dreamed of Lovino.
He sat me down and looked me in the eye, never looking so serious than before.
"You cannot fool around." He told me. Crossing my arms and scowling back him, i crossed my legs.
"I'm not doing anything. Everything's going as planned. If you don't like how I'm doing things, do it yourself." Lovino's face flickered to show a brief image of pain and regret but his hardened eyes didn't soften a bit.
"You know damn well that I can't do that." He stared back with his own glare. "Just... don't hurt Antonio..." Now his face softened into one of regret. "... I don't want him to hurt anymore."
"I'm not going to do anything to him." I stated. My feelings and Lovino's feelings were two different things. But in a sense, they were also the same.
The dream ended and I woke up feeling upset but also stubborn. What a joke. Why was i even here? Lovino wouldn't tell me what happened and it was pissing me off. I just woke up one day, suddenly something that existed and Lovino was there to tell me that I was taking his place as South Italy because something came up. I was given the knowledge that Lovino had. Including his memories and dreams.
And then there was Antonio. I knew him from Lovino's memories but having him here in person was more captivating than the memories. Selfishly, i wanted to keep him for myself. He was totally head over heels in love with Lovino that it made him easily manipulable. But then there was the part of me that loved him too. The part that had been transferred over from Lovino.
Sighing in frustration, i got up and trudged back to Spain's room, finding sleeping back on the bed. Seeing his sleeping face made me want to kick him out of bed again but then the annoying "school girl Lovino" part of me just wanted to watch him sleep. I remember Spain telling Lovino that moments when people sleep were rare and to be treasured because people were at their most vulnerable and at their most truthful.
Walking over quietly I sat on the edge of the bed and studied his face. The contours of his face were even more handsome and model like than from the memories Lovino had and I felt my heart squeeze. Antonio would need time to get over Lovino before even trying to start something with someone else. If he even had the will to try loving someone else.
Reaching out slowly, I gently patted Antonio's chocolate-brown hair. He deserved better than what had happened to him.
Just as i was pulling back, Antonio grabbed my arm and pulled me into his embrace. His eyes were still shut but the words made me feel melancholy.
"Stay with me, Lovino... Don't leave me again..." He whispered. His sighed in my ear but I didn't fight. Instead i just sunk into the warmth and closed my eyes. This was so much better than sleeping alone.
It always is. Lovino echoed in my mind. His words were hard to make out. Good luck.... While his words were supportive, it felt wrong for me to want to want Antonio. Trying to push aside my feelings of unease, I snuggled closer and rested my head against Spain's chest, listening to his steady breaths and the beat of his heart. The one that beat for Lovino and not for me.
Why do I keep writing endings that make it seem like there are going to be more chapters? Oh me. Never mind. Hope you enjoyed this. I find that I write on this fanfic when I'm upset... Hm.