Chapter 78 (epilogue)
"Are you sure you want to do this alone?" Edward asked again, his words still laced with the same concern from the first time he had asked. His eyes stared understandingly into mine and I almost felt myself unravel and falter to his words. He just wanted to make sure that I was okay, and I could do nothing but love him for it.
I nodded despite the tight tension rising in my throat warning me otherwise and hardened my grip on the ruby red stone. C'mon Bella.
He accepted my non verbal answer with his own, "I love you." He pulled me closer to him and I let my head roll onto his shoulder allowing myself to relax into his embrace. He had offered Jasper to keep my anxiety and bay but I wanted- no, needed- to do this myself.
"I love you too," I whispered meaning every word; this man was my life. "We should go away after this. Just the two of us." I took his hand pulling him back before he could walk away completely, "Some alone time with just my husband sounds like the perfect remedy." I could feel the dopey smile form on my face. I winked which only make him laugh. God I loved that sound.
"Sounds perfect, wife." He replied with the same level of sweetness in his tone. "Good luck." This time kissing me before his departure I was left alone. Despite wanting the privacy, the silence almost felt suffocating now I was truly alone.
I was going to say my goodbyes to Harry. I needed closure.
The memory of that day played back on my head like a broken record. After forcing myself away from Hermione Renesmee had found me cradled away in the corner of an empty hospital room, I could hardly remember how I had gotten there. The hours following I had felt so embarrassed. I was her mother. I wasn't supposed to break down in front of her and certainly not unload all my issues onto her.
"Mom. MOM. You've always been there for me, okay, let me be here for you for once."
I dealt with the pain the only way I knew how, I closed in on myself, I backed away from everyone else and fell into a state. Edward had tried to be there for me, honestly he was wonderful throughout everything, it was me that was the issue wanting to suffer alone in silence.
"Bella, honey, talk to me. Please. If not me then at least talk to someone. I hate seeing you like this."
"I don't want to talk Edward! What part of that don't you understand? Can you not just leave me alone for a second?!"
I held the ruby stone up to my chest, holding it close to my heart.
One minute I was looking at the picture coated wall and then the next I was looking at the ghostly figure of my brother. I was taken back, not at the shock of seeing him but at the surprise of seeing him young, seventeen again exactly like he had done all those years ago. If I pretended I could almost imagine that we were still those kids, those kids looking for their place in this world.
"Harry!" I exclaimed. Eyes widening and a hopeful grin forming.
It was strange to see him this way, after all it had been so long but there was also something very comforting about it; about the way he looked now. We matched. From an outside perspective it would look like no time had passed at all and we were back to just being Harry and Bella. No strings attached.
"Bella, hi." Harry replied, equally as enthusiastic.
"I've- I've missed you." I muttered my voice beginning to waver as the venom pooled in my eyes, "How is it? There? Are you happy?"
"Very. Life my mum and dad…Sirius. It's great." He grinned looking so carefree it pulled at my heart strings.
Part of me, maybe more than I was willing to admit, was envious. He got to live the life neither of us had experiences as kids. He had the chance to make up for last time with the parents we barely had chance to know. I knew from past experience that this was how Rosalie felt, I had felt it too when I witnessed all my friends grow old together whilst I was frozen in time at nineteen.
"They miss you too Bella, they said Renesmee seems amazing and fearless, just like her mother." I wished more than anything that they could meet her, "They've been watching over. We all have."
I looked back up at Harry, "What about the others?"
"Fred and George were very happy to be reunited." He chuckled looking as though he was thinking back at a happy memory, "Mrs Weasley was very glad to have all her children back under one roof."
"And what about Ron and Hermione?" I asked regarding our best friends.
"They miss you; Hermione especially."
"Figures." I muttered jokingly under my breath loud enough for him to hear.
"But they're happy together."
"Good." It kept my mind at ease knowing that they were all happy together even in the afterlife. "Tell them I miss them. All of them."
Harry nodded, "Only if you tell Nessie that her favourite Uncle misses her like crazy. And Hermione told Molly what you said about making sure no future Weasley's decide to take over the world. She said she agreed and that you better stick to it, she doesn't want to be criticised in the history books." He joked forcing a genuine laugh out of me.
"The kids are fine, as are the grandkids. And the few great grandkids." Harry's eyes widened at the sound of his children, "Damn Harry I feel old." He snickered.
"Well you certainly don't look it."
"Well, neither do you." I motioned to himself, "So how does that work in... Heaven?" Was it heaven? Was that the right word? "Do you get to choose how you end up? Or is this just a communication thing?" I was genuinely curious. I had witnessed lots of supernatural things in my life including being a part of the literal walking dead but never quite the inner workings of the afterlife.
"I suppose it's just the age you felt most comfortable and happy as." Harry shrugged, "I've never really thought about it that much."
I huffed a laugh, "And what? You were most happy when we were getting shot at and sleeping rough around the country?"
"Well…I was with you all that time so….yeah, I guess."
"Harry Potter you are such a nerd." I couldn't stop the wet grin that spread on my face.
Glancing over at the clock I noticed it had been a little over an hour since we started talking. Much to my dismay, I knew that I was going to have to cut this conversation soon. Even if the thought of being away from my brother again made my chest scream in agony.
Harry noticed my discomfort like the caring big brother he had always been, "Don't worry. I'll be with you always." He smirked.
"Always and forever," I smiled back.
And for that short period of time, everything felt right with the world.
AAAHHHH. Finally, my updates our FINSIHED! This feels like a big deal to me because though I've updated the first chapters a lot over the years I've never done the entire thing. Honestly, I wanted to update this (hi if your reading this post update and you made it this far) because though I no longer use this website I do still get emails and I thought 'if people are reading this I'd rather something of mine that is accessible to the public is somewhat good and not the garbage I wrote when I was thirteen.' The aim was to fix typo's, just in general made the writing sound better and in the process managed to cut this down 12 chapters. The aim was never a full rewrite from a construction level because I do get a lot of comments on how this is too similar to book/movie points and I get that 100% but like I said, I wrote this from ages 12 and up; if I had done this now I would have handled it differently…but I didn't and I don't have the time nor energy to do a full rewrite so did the second best; cut it down where I could, tried to add more interaction between the Cullen's in the flashback scenes and tried to add more original elements.
Anywho, this long comment aside. I hope you enjoyed it and now, I shall most likely go onto updating my other Twilight fanfic. How do we feel about third person?