11!

Me- Welcome back! Now all you will get to see what happens next! *goes back to place on floor*

Time starts again, Tina suddenly walks in

Me- *waves like madman* Hi Tina!

Tina- How long could you leave me out of this story for?

Me- *gets up* Your right, it's not the same without you!

Seamus- Um in case anyone has noticed, those girls are killing Snape with pointy sticks.

Me- So? *looks in disgust*

Tina- Wait why are they killing Snape, I know there are a lot of reasons but what did he do in particular?

Sirius- Oh you'll get a kick out of this, she's pissed because...

Me- TINA, SNAPE WAS HURTING CLAY!

Tina- *eyes widen* How? Did he use one of those scary curses?

Me *talking fast* No he made a voodoo doll that looked just like Clay and he was all Heh Heh now I will get back at you and he started poking the doll's arms with pins and it could really have been hurting Clay because I don't really know what Snape is capable of. So I ran after him with my pointy stick *holds up pointy stick* and I told everyone and then Court and Sam came in and they had nine pointy sticks and they ran after him and now they are poking him to death! *takes deep breaths*

Ron- Bloody hell you said that fast

Hermione- *looks at watch* 20 seconds to be precise!

Harry- *looks at Hermione* you are to smart for your own good.

Dean- I agree!

Seamus- Me too!

All other guys- Us too!

Me- Oh give me a break Harry! You know you love Hermione and the fact that she doesn't know just kills you inside, so why don't you confess your love to her so she knows how you feel and you two can be together forever and have little Potter-Granger babies!

All- O_O

Sirius- You really woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

Me- *holds pointy stick at Sirius* don't even start Black, or I will be forced to harm and/or kill you, got me?

Sirius- Yea just put the stick down please.*pushes pointy stick to the ground*

Hermione- Sirius that is not how you talk to a girl in this condition! *pulls out wand and makes a giant Hershey's bar appear* Here Keri!

Me- Thank you Hermione! *sits on comfy sofa and happily eats the chocolate bar*

Sirius- How did you do that?

Hermione- Men don't understand

Sirius- I probably would!

Ron- Yea I would!

All Guys- Us too!

Hermione- Ok, ladies would who like to tell Mr. Sirius and the rest of the guys here about the horrors of PMS?

Guys- *covers ears* Lalalalalalalala, we can't hear you!

All- *laughs*

Tina- Good job Hermione!

Hermione- What can I say? I am brilliant!

Then out of nowhere, Snape crawls out from the other room with pointy sticks still being thrown at him

Snape- Help me...

Me- No! *throws piece of chocolate at Snape*

Draco- I will help you! *runs to Snape*

Me- Hey wait, Draco can I ask you a question?

Draco- Errrrrrrrr...

Me- Ok! Draco Malfoy, are you gay?

Draco- What?

Snape- What?

All- What?

Me- Oh come on! You can all truthfully say that Draco does not act at all like any of the five guys seen on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy *looks at camera* On Tuesday nights at 10:00 PM!

Dean- Well... *looks at floor*

Ron- Sort of...

Harry- Maybe...

Crabbe and Goyle- Duh?

Tina- Oh heck with it I knew all along! So I really want to know too, are you gay?

Draco- Ok, ok the truth is I was planning on coming out of the closet. *Coughs are heard* But I wasn't sure when the correct time would be, so there I said it, I, Draco Malfoy, am gay!

Entire cast and staff- *gasps loudly*

All Draco fans in the entire world- *sob* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He can't be gay!

Me- *holds up chocolate bar in air* I knew it! Wait... *thinks for about a minute*

Harry- Anytime soon...

Me- *thinks some more*

Sirius- We are not getting any younger over here!

Me- *suddenly* So Draco that means we can go shopping and stuff now?!

Hermione- *stops crying* Yes! Now he can tell us loads of fashion tips, and where the best places are to scope out guys!

Draco- I can be one of the girls now!

All girls- Awwwwww *hug Draco*

Dumbledore- This is so sweet I fear I will be sick, excuse me *Makes throw up noises*

Guys- *laugh*

Draco- Great now I can act like myself and tell you how I really feel!

Me- I told you that in chapter three!

Draco- Well, whatevah, you guys have no right to act like that!

Parvati- Draco's right, you immature boys are not acting at all your age! Draco and I could really help all of you with your fashion disasters!

Draco- What?

Parvati- Don't be silly! You need a female to help when dressing a male. How would you know what kind of things females like to see their boyfriends and husbands wearing?

Draco- OMG that is too true!

Me- Awwwwww designing duo! D and P incorporated! Parvati you have a place in the house now! You are the fashion fanatic!

Parvati- Yay! *hugs everyone*

Sirius- Are you people done babbling yet?

Prof. M- You boys are still complaining? Give it a rest! You should be ashamed anyway, making fun of poor Draco like that!

Ron- Yea right like we will ever be!

Me- You should be!

Dean- Well we aren't!

Tina- You're not sorry? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *starts turning into monster thingy*

Me- Ooooo you're gunna get it now! Sick em Tina! *throws another piece of chocolate at Sirius*

Sirius- Ahhhhhhhh run away!

All the guys, not including Draco and Snape, run out of the green room and up a flight of stairs. When they get up 3 flights of stairs they run into the nearest room. It has several huge couches and one really big television.

Seamus- What do we do now?

Ron- Yea Sirius, we are now stuck running away from a brainiac with really expensive shoes, a Transfiguration teacher obsessed with MTV, a so-called fashion fanatic, a Monster Pokemon girl with glasses, a guy who just came out of the closet and a complete nutcase with PMS.

Harry- So basically we are terrified of five girls and Malfoy?

Dean- Oy that sounds pathetic

Ron- Hey guys look at this!

Ron had run over to one of the huge couches and turned on the really big TV to see all the girls and Draco inspecting Snape on the ground.

Prof. M- Did they kill him?

Sam- We did no such thing!

Courtney- Yea he got what he deserved! No one should ever even try to hurt Clay without thinking of the consequences!

All Claymates- Hell yeah!

Draco- I hope he isn't dead!

Me- *kicks Snape* I doubt whole-heartedly he is dead *Snape's body twitches* See? He's not dead!

Draco- Hooray!

Sam- Damn, well we are going to go and plot more ways to meet Clay!

Court- Yea we are going to try to put me in a box and send me to Clay, then we are going to make cookies with our phone numbers on them and then throw them at him!

Me- Make a cookie for me!

Sam and Court- We will! Bye! *they leave*

Hermione- Well now that that is settled let's go find those boys and yell at them!

Prof. M- Yea, we can fill their heads with unpleasant images and thoughts!

Parvati- Let's go!

Girls start walking up the stairs and the boys look confused

Harry- Does the camera for this television follow them everywhere?

Sirius- It seems that way!

Seamus- *looks outward* Think of the possibilities!

Ron- Yea! *stares outward with mouth open*

Footsteps and talking can be heard not to far away from the room

Dumbledore- Quick, lock the door!

Ron fumbles to get to the door but falls, so Harry tries but he trips over Ron and falls, and so on a so forth. All the guys have fallen to the floor and the door opens.

Sirius- Hide!

Dean- I can't! Goyle is crushing me!

Sirius- Goyle get up you moron!

Goyle- Duh! *runs to hid behind one of couches but of course falls before getting there*

All the guys run and hide behind the rest of the big couches and in walks, who else, but the Fab 5!

Carson- This so isn't the right room! I don't see my luggage anywhere!

Thom- This room is hideous! Who designed it?

Carson- Obviously they had no fashion taste what-so-ever! I bet it was a straight man! But now we have to find our room! We cannot film this episode if I do not have any of my things!

Kyan- I agree! Ted what are you doing?

Ted- I smell something

Thom- Let's see, rotting vegetables? Moldy cheese? Rancid milk?

Ted- No, I smell straight guys!

4 other gays- ^_^

Carson- *runs over to Ted and leans on his shoulder* Do they smell cute?

Ted- It smells like younger guys, 6 of them, a middle aged man, and a very much older man.

Carson- Sounds like your type Jai! *giggles*

Jai- Oh very funny! Let's start checking around for those straight guys! They have to be hidden here somewhere!

The Fab 5 start looking around checking everywhere and then one is found

Carson (***MY FAV GUY! ***) - I wonder if a cute guy would hide behind this couch?

Ron- *Crouched into a little ball behind that couch and saying out loud* Please don't find me, Please don't find me, Please don't find me

Carson- *spots Ron* Look I found one! *all Fab 5 come running over*

Ron- AHHHHHHHHH *tries to run but Thom stops him*

Thom- Hey where are you going?

Kyan- *touching Ron's hair* OMG I love your hair! It's so nicely kept and clean!

Jai- And look at the color, gorgeous!

Ron- *scared* Please don't hurt me

Sirius- *pops out from behind the TV* Leave Ron alone!

Fab 5- O_O

Thom- How many of them are here Ted?

Ted- Eight in all!

Kyan- *walks toward Sirius* so... Where are the rest of your friends?

Sirius- Why should I tell you?

Carson- *runs over by Sirius * this one's feisty!

Sirius- Argh! *pushes Carson*

The door bursts open and in walks our new favorite gay guy Draco!

Draco- Don't your dare hurt Carson the fashion master!

Jai- Carson you have a number one fan!

Carson- Yay! *hugs Draco*

Me- Why is everyone hugging Draco... OMG IT'S THE FAB 5! *jumps up and down*

All- O_O

Tina- So this is what they look like in really life! *goes over and pokes Ted* Yep they're real!

Ted- Hey, don't touch the outfit!

Tina- Sorry, but I have heard so many great things about you guys

Kyan- Wow we have a lot more fans than we think! *goes over to me* so what did you say about me?

Me- How do you I said something nice, maybe I said something mean!

Kyan- You don't look like the mean type

Me- Grrrrrr, I hate when people are right. Well... I said you were so good at doing people's hair and that I wish you would do my hair because you made everyone's bathroom's look beautiful!

Kyan- Ummmm...

Hermione- You must forgive her at the moment she has had a massive sugar intake and is still in her week of suffering.

Carson- *stops hugging Draco* Awwwwww, you should really go shopping!

Tina- Our station is broke, believe me, uh...

Draco- *whispers* Carson

Tina- Oh yea! Carson... she complains everyday about wanting to go shopping but the station has no money.

Parvati-*who had started talking to Jai about movies* She's right, we girls are always so desperate to go but we have no money, so we end up just having to borrow each others shoes all the time and me especially, I am the fashion fanatic!

Carson- That's horrible!

Ron- *scowls* It's anything but horrible

Sirius- This is just a constant day thing, we get in trouble and the girls complain

Dean- Yeah, you girls are such complainers... OWWWWWWWWWW *gets hit in the head with a shoe*

Me- *holds up Hermione's other shoe* Shut up ugly!

All- O_O

Tina- Deep breathing Keri, deep breathing, tap your third eye 21 times

Me- *sits on floor and starts tapping forehead*

Jai- Wow she got angry.

Sirius- It's normal for her

Dean- YEA, and that shoe bloody hurt!

Hermione- *giggles* Well it was a Manolo!

Carson- Absolutely gorgeous! You must take me shopping with you one day! Although I don't why she had to throw your shoe

Tina- *scowls at Carson*

Carson- Let me finish! I was trying to say that she should have thrown Thom's shoe, it's bigger and weighs more!

Thom- *pulling curtains down* my foot is not that big!

Dean- *on the ground* I think the heel punctured my brain

Me- No one cares!

Hermione- Yes, and the fact is that you guys were complaining about all the complaining we do but it seems more like you guys are the complainers of the house

Parvati- Oh she got you there! Don't try to outwit us boys, especially Hermione; we will get ya every time!

Girls and Fab 5- Yep!

Draco- And she is the best dressed!

Harry- Put a sock in it Malfoy, don't make me hit you!

Me- Leave Draco alone!

Harry- You wanna fight?

Me- Bring it on! *thinks* OMG I love that movie!

Jai- I did too! I love those uniforms that the Toros had on!

Seamus- You have way too much time on your hands

Me- What do you know you're a guy! And at least I have an attention span larger than that of a bug!

Seamus- Well at least I will never get PMS! I am a guy! You are not, and you will have to suffer forever! HEEHEE...

All girls- *gasp loudly*

Dumbledore- **cough cough** at least until menopause **cough cough**

Me- I swear to Merlin, Leprechaun I will beat the living crap out you, pulling out all your internal organs starting with your thingy, which by the way I heard is very very small.

Seamus- UHHHHHHHHHH

Tina- *whispers* Want me to kill him?

Me- *whispers back* No, just turn scary and intimidate him and all the guys.

Tina- Ok! **turns into famous Scary Tina Monster** ROAR!

Guys- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Scary Tina Monster turns back to normal

Jai- That was impressive! Monster powers to scare straight guys!

Carson (who just woke back up) - Not as impressive as Hermione's shoes!

Kyan- I agree!

Rest of Fab 5- Us too!

Parvati- Ok its official, Hermione's shoes are the most impressive things of the day!

Prof. M- I hereby put this topic of the most impressive thing of today to a close! *slams hammer on a table, breaking it*

Me- I knew it! Maybe I'll win tomorrow!

Thom- Well this really is fascinating and all but we have to go now

Carson- Yes! We have to go find the room we are supposed to be in and start filming the new episode of our show

All girls- Awwwwww *makes sad faces*

Kyan- Don't worry we'll come back and visit again, but not until after this place is redecorated!

Harry- Deal!

All look at Harry

Harry- Uhhhhh, random burst of enthusiasm?

Tina- If you truly believe that

Ted- Right, ok we are gunna go now... bye! *All queer eye guys wave*

They leave and Ron suddenly looks down at the floor

Ron- The table is broken

Draco- Thank you Mr. Points-out-the-obvious

Ron- Shut up!

Draco- Make me!

Ron- Maybe I will!

Draco- Do you want to fight me?

Ron- Sure you won't break a nail?

Draco- *looks at nails* oh let me assure you Mr. little Weasley, my nails are in fabulous condition and will stay perfect even when I am kicking your scrawny ass!

Ron- Why I oughta... *lunges at Draco*

The two start wrestling and punching each other while everyone stands around and watches. The Hogwarts guys are all shouting "Go Go Go! Come on Ron!"

Parvati- Draco you're going to ruin your hair! Stop wrestling right now!

Draco (who has Ron's hands twisted behind his back) - Not until he says the magic words!

Ron (trying to get away) - Never!

Draco- Say it! Say 'Draco is hotter than I am!'

Ron- No!

Me- Well you know...

All looks at me

Harry- You know what?

Me- Well if you think about it Draco just came out of the closet and he suddenly wants to wrestle with Ron. The only reason he's wrestling is so he can touch Ron, he told me before. *thinks* It's actually pretty funny! *laughs*

Ron- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *throws Draco off him*

All- O_O

Draco- *scowls from the floor* I told you not to say anything!

Me- No you didn't! You said *makes weird face* Blah blah blah and when I start wrestling with Weasley make sure to say that I was wrestling with him only so I can touch him. Ohhhhhh I heard he has a perfect six pack, blah blah blah

Draco- Liar! Ok maybe not, but...

Me- It was still funny!

Ron- It so wasn't funny, I am scared for life!

Parvati- Too bad, that's what you get when you are mean to a gay guy, they try to hook up with you!

Hermione- Truer words were never spoken...

All nod their heads and sigh

NEXT TIME ON THE MANSION...

Me- Wait wait wait! What the hell? Why are we cutting the chapter so short? I didn't get to talk to any of the reviewers like I promised! Nor did I even start the Anniversary thingy on Chapter 2! *starts to cry all dramatically*

Sirius- Whoa it's not that serious

Me- *stops crying* Oh I know but I saw America's Next Top Model and the one girl started crying. The only reason she did is because she cheated on her boyfriend.

Draco- O_O Scandalous!

Me- I know, and I think she got kicked off the show anyway. The girl that used to be chubby but got really skinny won. I was pissed though because I forgot it was on and ended up watching American Idol

Hermione- Was it any good?

Me- Nah, no Clay. And anyway some of those people really couldn't sing, but I did like that funny guy Simon hated but ended up picking as his wild card pick, George Huffy! And... *talking is suddenly cut off*

Dean- Haha your mike got turned off

Sirius- *comes back from control room* There is only so much reality TV talk I can take from her

Me- *mouth is moving but no words are heard*

Harry- Wow, it's never been this quiet, maybe you should turn off her mike more often

Me- *mouth still moving*

Hermione- So who is going to do the closing to the chapter?

Sirius- Well since I am the new director I will do it

Me-*starts waving arms and shaking head rapidly*

Tina- Dream on you egotistical ninny! I am the co-host, so I will do it! Besides, the real host doesn't want you to anyway

Me- *nods*

Sirius- Dumb girl alliances...

Girls- ^_^

Tina- Anyway, that's all for this episode! Hope you had fun and we'd to thank Carson, Ted, Kyan, Jai and Thom for visiting and ummm redecorating as well

Girls- THANK YOU FAB 5!

Guys- *mumble*

Sirius- Tina you suck at this, I'll do it! We will see you next time on... *gets hit with flying fish*

Me- *runs in quickly* No one steals my spotlight Mr. Black, leave it to the professionals. We will really see you next time on... THE MANSION!