482Epilogue
Ok, actually a little more than an epilogue ;)
Of course these things never go according to plan.
Minutes after landing in Paris, Dan, Blair and Eleanor were shocked to learn that Chuck had taken matters into his own hands, and had exacted some revenge on Alejandro Gaviria-and, strangely... on Jack.
Ok, they weren't that shocked. He'd shown signs of violent behavior before, and they should have known Chuck had something up his sleeve, especially considering his odd behavior at the hospital that morning.
Over the course of the next few weeks, the information continued to trickle in over the Atlantic from Cyrus's contacts.
Blair was absolutely livid to learn that Chuck had been in possession of the firearm he'd used to exact that revenge throughout the entirety of their marriage- since around the time he'd first discovered the Bass connection to Gaviria.
He'd kept a gun in her house. Where she and her child slept. Without her knowledge. She understood the need for protection, but it was just another in a growing list of things that he'd kept hidden from her.
Druglords. Guns.
Inexcusable.
But that wasn't the most disturbing information coming in over the wire…
There were also rumors starting to swirl that Chuck was on the cusp of making a very generous plea deal with the Feds; despite blowing two men's kneecaps off and leaving them to bleed out on a very expensive Persian rug. Word was that he probably wouldn't serve much time at all, thanks to an attorney who was painting him as some helpless victim living in fear of retribution against his family.
It also didn't hurt that Chuck now had access to Alejandro's bank accounts and knew the whereabouts of a gargantuan coke shipment sitting in a port in New Jersey.
Of course he was also getting plenty of assistance from Lily, who was still extremely tight with the district attorney and law enforcement community, and pledged to fund a new DEA task force for the city of New York.
It was vomit inducing. Chuck might actually come out of this looking like some kind of hero.
But again, those were just the rumors. And Blair would still have a thing or two to say on the matter…
She and Dan were choosing to ignore those rumors for now.
Because they were living in France. In their own little French bubble.
Of course they'd also learned—via Rufus—that Serena hadn't made it to rehab.
Not shocking either.
There were sightings of her all over the globe over the next few weeks—spotted with Carter Baizen and doing shots of tequila in Cabo. Lines of coke in Santorini. But then apparently the party came to an abrupt end—for Carter—and she left him behind in Ibiza. It was a spur of the moment decision really. That Spanish helicopter pilot was very persuasive. And very attractive. He'd zoomed down out of the sky as he spotted her lying out one day, landing his chopper on the nearby beach.
Serena was delighted. And she'd never fucked in a cockpit before. "Wasn't that the point of a cockpit," she giggled, running her fingers through the pilot's sun-bleached hair.
After a few more days of partying with her pilot in Madrid, she found herself sunbathing topless in Bora Bora, not entirely sure how she'd come to be there.
She'd simply woken up in paradise one morning.
And that's when the real scandal began.
There were soon sightings of her with one incredibly handsome, albeit significantly older Italian gentleman, purported to be a Signor Agostino Olivieri, an ambassador to the US or something. The lovesick man (and former client) had tracked her down thanks to a tip from Cassandra Beaumont.
Agostino declared his love for Serena, and this time, she agreed to be his mistress. Couldn't hurt to have an additional bank account handy, she thought… Because knowing her mother, she was already trying to get power of attorney over her, and was probably on the verge of cutting off her funds.
Yes, the very married Agostino was just what the doctor ordered. Every night. In a private bungalow.
He doused her naked body in Lambrusco and licked her from head to toe. Lavished her with diamonds. She let him snort coke off her breasts and fucked him senseless.
The man absolutely worshipped her, and flaunted his relationship with her at every opportunity, sending pictures of the two of them together to the Italian tabloids and into the Daily Mail, and posting them on his personal Instagram account.
It was verified.
And it was messy.
A real Scandalo.
Of course the New York gossip rags had gotten wind of the two also, and Lily read them cover to cover, stone-faced. Every morning with a teacup of gin.
And right after she'd have Vanya incinerate them.
...
It was "Assassin's Creed" for Nate and Jenny—when their schedules allowed it. They were both busy bees after all, often having to resort to fooling around at The Spectator or the atelier.
One particular evening when Jenny had been burning the midnight oil, Nate paid her "a visit."
The security guard accidentally walked in on them. And just stared, beet faced.
Awkward...
The burly guard then giggled like a school girl before covering his eyes and shaking his head, which then of course made Nate and Jenny giggle. And they vowed off doing it in public places for awhile, instead choosing to focus on video games, movies, and walks in Central Park.
Again, when their schedules allowed.
They also occasionally enjoyed a ten minute lunch at the hot dog street vendor outside of The Spectator, or the falafel vendor near Jenny and the atelier.
But you know, nothing serious.
They were just two people enjoying themselves, and getting "pancaked" on occasion. Living in their own little world, choosing to ignore the never ending soap opera that was "The Days of Chuck and Serena's Lives."
...
Georgina… had gone completely MIA. And no one seemed to notice.
...
Rufus put an abrupt end to his and Lily's trysts. He was disappointed that after finally giving William the tongue lashing he deserved, she still wasn't giving him the boot he deserved. He was also pretty irritated with her over the Chuck situation, and her forever coming to her "son's" defense rather than letting him receive the punishment he should have had coming.
So Rufus sought solace elsewhere...
Jenny had made him a Tinder account a while back—before she knew about Lily. And he reluctantly gave it a whirl one night.
He had five dates in one week. The ladies loved that he was a former rock star.
And did they love to hear him croon...
And did he love to indulge them with his one hit wonder…
Every time you walk away or runaway you take a piece of me with you…
...
As for Blair and Dan, they did take that walk in the garden the night they arrived. Make that gardens. There were acres upon acres of gardens at Chateau Waldorf.
And parterres. And manicured lawns. And fountains.
But there was absolutely no hanky panky that night.
Ok, maybe there was a little hanky panky.
There was some cuddling and some stargazing, and a lot of kissing and caressing by the fountain of Aphrodite. And Blair laughed hysterically as Dan cracked on how Aphrodite's dress was falling off of her but why didn't she seem to realize it?
She wanted to jump him right there, but Blair's new obstétricien had advised her to wait six weeks before resuming sexual activity. Just to be safe.
Just a few weeks.
It was torture. Blair was hornier than a toad these days.
But they distracted themselves by staying busy.
Very busy.
Dan and Henry continued to bond over books, and with his Roosevelt manuscript finally in the can and awaiting publication, Dan got the idea to try his hand at a children's book (with Henry giving input). They began outlining a story about a young boy eagerly awaiting the birth of his triplet siblings. It was tentatively, and very unoriginally titled, "Henri et Les Bébés." Yes, as an extra challenge, Blair was making them write it all en Francaise. It was for their own good she'd say with a "chop chop" clap.
Blair herself, at four months pregnant, was in a perpetual frenzied state these days.
One morning while drinking her leafy green smoothie, a bolt of lightning struck.
She had the brilliant idea to create a digital magazine and curated e-commerce lifestyle website called "Marmalade." It was a place where new moms and mothers-to-be could go for the latest in organic baby food recipes, haute couture maternity wear and baby fashion (of course highlighting Eleanor Waldorf's new baby line), and all the other baby essentials one could hope for, from A to Z.
She hired a staff of ten, and in the blink of an eye turned the chateau into a bubbling little distribution center, even employing her father and Roman on occasion. Blair met with artisans and vendors, and personally picked out and tested every item offered on the site.
She was a "Dictator of Taste" after all.
A mere week after Marmalade's soft launch, she took to her blog, and with the help of a black and white "candid" belly snap—courtesy of Patrick Demarchelier—Blair announced to the world that she wasn't just pregnant…
She was pregnant with TRIPLETS!
The candid photo showed her hands lovingly pressed upon her now obvious bump as she gazed down lovingly at it.
New York media was still crackling with the events of Chuck's takedown of a drug lord, and Serena's affair with a married Italian ambassador, but this spectacular bombshell had just kicked both of those stories out of the headlines.
Thank goodness they were in France! The New York paparazzi would be hounding her!
Marmalade sales took off of course, and she had to increase her staff of ten to thirty just to keep up with the demand. Dan worried that she was pushing herself too hard, but Blair insisted she'd never felt better or had more energy. Sometimes you just have to saisir le jour!
One Friday afternoon, and as a gesture of goodwill and thanks to the staff for all of their very hard work over the past few weeks, she sent them home early.
Ok, it was actually, maybe, a little selfish on her part. Roman and Harold-and a bodyguard-were taking Henry to see a production of "Le Petit Prince" that evening.
And Dan and Blair would have the chateau to themselves. Finally. Well, except for the two armed members of the Gendarmarie permanently stationed at the end of the drive.
They watched as Harold navigated the white Audi down the drive, then glanced at each other knowingly.
And a little nervously.
This was the first time they'd been alone together in the chateau since they'd gotten there. Sure they slept together. And snuggled. And kissed and cuddled by the fountain on occasion. But between Henry's constantly running in and out and jumping on their bed, and "Marmalade," and calls from Dan's publisher and editors pitching him a barrage of horrible ideas, and Harold and Roman's incessant need to play Scrabble every night, it was just very hard to find any real alone time.
Even at the fountain of Aphrodite.
Until now.
They'd gotten word that both of their divorces would be finalized within the week. There was much to celebrate.
They waited until the car was nary a blip, disappearing into the sunset.
Dan then turned to her and extended his hand. "Veux-tu et les bébés se joindre à moi dans la cuisine?"
Blair hinted at a smile. Dan's accent was horrific. "Très bien, Humphrey." She placed her hand in his.
...
Dan stood near the gas stovetop of the large, open, professionally remodeled chateau kitchen, gently guiding his crêpe spatula and lovingly spreading a thin batter on the pan. He'd been working hard on his crêpe technique—though BLT's were still his specialty.
Blair was propped on an iron stool with a green cushion, leaning over the counter with her chin in her hand, waiting impatiently to taste, kicking her legs to and fro. She watched him with an eagle eye as he pulled the warm, thin crêpe from the pan, and set it on an awaiting plate on the island.
He smeared it with a precise amount of Nutella, then licked some residual goodness from his fingers.
Blair crinkled her nose. "That's completely unsanitary, Humphrey. The health inspector would shut your restaurant down in an instant."
He grinned and grabbed some cut bananas, artfully arranging them over the Nutella; he then folded the entire thing into a beautiful fan before drizzling it with gooey salted caramel and warm Nutella chocolate sauce.
Blair's mouth was watering now, and not just from the smell of hot caramel and hot chocolate coming together in perfect harmony. There was something in the way Dan was drizzling, his technique of quickly dipping his fork in the bowl, and creating rapid movements high over the plate to create a cobweb of deliciousness.
It was hypnotizing.
Dan noticed her examining his technique. "All in the wrist," he quipped as he finished it off with a few toasted hazelnuts right on the top.
Blair bit her lip, even more turned on, but not exactly sure if it was Dan or the hazelnuts.
"And voila," he announced proudly, with a kiss of his fingers and a still horrible French accent.
He slid the plate in front of her, leaning over the counter and brimming with anticipation, as she picked up her fork and took it for a leisurely stroll.
She procured a dainty bite, bringing Dan's creation slowly to her lips.
Dan looked on expectantly.
"Mmm," she said, closing her eyes and savoring. "That is… Oh my God."
She couldn't even speak. She tossed the fork and began to use her hands. Like an animal, licking and devouring caramel and chocolate from her exquisitely manicured fingers, orgasming with every bite.
Dan didn't flinch. This was just how it was these days.
He watched as she now literally licked the plate clean. She literally picked up the plate and licked it. Clean. It was so shiny now it looked like it had never been used.
Dan was simultaneously appalled and amused. "So you liked it?" he deadpanned.
Blair thought a moment as she blotted the corners of her mouth with her napkin. "I would give your dish…two Michelin stars."
Dan suppressed a grin, feigning offense. "Two stars? Not three?"
"Well there were a few sanitation issues."
"Well there were significantly more on your part," he smirked, gesturing toward the gleaming white plate.
She leaned in, her red lips forming an oval pout. "You know, a judge can always be bribed."
Dan leaned in a little more, intoxicated. "Not sure I follow…"
They eyed each other for a moment before he suddenly captured her lips, cleaning up a little stray caramel on the corner of her mouth, his tongue quickly teasing hers.
Blair smiled and suddenly shoved him away, much to Dan's disappointment.
"Follow me..." she whispered, a lecherous look in her eyes. She slid herself off the stool, and started toward the kitchen staircase. "Bring your spatula…"
He exhaled.
Oh God how he needed this…
Dan strolled a few paces behind her. She turned back coyly every few steps until she got to their bedroom, then with one last teasing glance, dipped inside. She headed straight for the bathroom to change.
Dan gently closed the door and looked around the bedroom they'd shared for a little over seven weeks. It was very beautiful, done up in pastel and dark blues, and decorated with antique cherry furnishings and Walter Gay artwork. It had a vaulted ceiling, and a balcony overlooking the south gardens—a perfect place to write, or just sit and have a croissant and an espresso in the mornings.
He couldn't believe his life right now. It was perfect. And it was only going to get better.
At some point Blair had come up and done a little mood setting—dimmed the lights, sprinkled some peony petals…The windows were propped open to welcome in the cool, spring night air, and sheer white curtains were blowing languidly in the breeze, allowing a little moonlight to trickle in.
The Aphrodite fountain was just audible. Dan closed his eyes and listened, recording the tranquil sound of the soothing, bubbling water.
And then…
The sound of the bathroom door snapped him from his trance.
He slowly turned to see Blair standing in the frame, the light illuminating her pale, petite, but beautifully expanding figure. Dan was speechless. Beauty came in many forms, but there was nothing that could compare with what he was witnessing right now.
And there was no way he could ever describe it. And why should he have to? This was for his eyes only.
Blair stood barefoot in a sheer black, babydoll chemise, one thin black strap methodically dangling from her shoulder. She pulled a clip out of her hair, shaking it out and letting it fall softly on her shoulders.
"Well?" she queried.
As if she didn't know she was the sexiest pregnant woman alive.
"Well… Well," Dan stammered back with a goofy grin.
Well... the chemise certainly didn't leave much to the imagination. He could see every inch of her. And he was soaking up every drop. Every gentle slope. Every delicate curve.
"You are so beautiful…" he murmured.
Blair smiled coyly, playing with a strand of her hair now.
He gazed in awe for another moment, then walked over. He kissed her. Deeply. Softly. Blair smiled into his soft lips. It was taking everything she had to not just throw herself at him as his lips journeyed lazily down her neck…
Blair let out a sigh of approval as he sucked and gnawed for a moment, before proceeding down to her smooth, pale shoulder.
"I want you, Blair…" Dan murmured, his arms wrapping carefully around her waist.
"Take me..." she whispered, her head tilting backward as he worked her neck a little more aggressively.
Without further ado, Dan placed an arm under her knees, then lifted her up reverently, carrying her bridal style to the sleigh bed. His eyes never veered from hers as he set her gently atop, helping her get comfortable against the pillows.
She looked on wantonly, biting her lip, as Dan discarded his shirt, belt and pants. He still, never for one moment, took his eyes off of her.
He crawled upon the bed beside her, his elbow propping him up on the pillow next to hers. He took her hand and caressed it for a moment, squeezing it tenderly before planting a sweet kiss on it. They continued to stare, each one entranced by the other, never saying a word. He then leaned over and kissed her lips again, his tongue gently teasing hers now.
Dan pulled back for a moment, watching as Blair slid the straps of her chemise down, exposing, little by little, her voluptuous breasts to him.
She softly caressed them a moment, then placed her hand around Dan's neck.
And he quickly got the message…
Dan focused on her breasts now, gently palming one and capturing the nipple of the other with his lips and teeth. Blair's back arched slightly as he kissed and licked each delicate pink nipple, each snowy, sloping mound. "Yes, Humphrey" she sighed breathlessly. "…Like that."
He could feel her hips slowly thrusting into him now as he ravished her engorged and highly sensitive breasts.
She mewed and closed her eyes, her hands gripping Dan's muscular biceps.
His hand begin exploring further, venturing under the chemise, and Blair cried out as he suddenly gave her black lace panties a quick tug. "Oh!" Dan could feel that she was soaked to the bone.
"Humphrey…" she moaned. She gripped the headboard now as Dan slowly, torturously pulled them off, all the way down her legs. He now shoved his boxers down, and steadied his arms on either side of her.
They stared deeply into each other's eyes now.
The stars were finally aligning. Everything was falling into place…
Blair gripped his arms tightly again as he gently plunged himself inside of her. They sighed in unison and found a slow, easy rhythm. It had been forever, but they could never forget how to do this.
"Humphrey," she said, as he penetrated her a little deeper now. "Flip me," she ordered breathlessly. After a few more thrusts, Dan did as directed, pulling out and carefully flipping her over on her stomach. She raised herself up just a little off the bed, brushing her hair from her face and gazing over her shoulder at him. Dan lifted the edge of the chemise, taking in Blair's perfect, albeit a little rounder, derriere. He massaged her for a moment, fingertips tracing up her back. "Mmm," Blair sighed, moving her hips in a circle against Dan's hot fingers. "Come on..."
Blair was getting antsy now, and Dan firmly grabbed her hips, positioning himself for ideal penetration.
"MHMMM," she cried. "Please, Humphrey." Her body thrummed in anticipation as she glanced over her shoulder at him again.
And then he entered her once more, still gently, but deeper this time.
"OH GOD! YES..." Blair moaned as Dan made steady, spectacular circular movements with his hips. "Yes, Blair," he praised. "You feel incredible."
He upped the ante, going just a tad harder now.
Skin against skin. Sweat against sweat. That heavenly slapping sound echoed out into the gardens.
They rocked as one now, and Blair clenched the pillows in blissful agony, her ass meeting Dan's cock at every thrust. "Yeah... yeah... yeah..."
Dan massaged her back lightly with his fingertips before leaning down on top of her, his chest up against her slick backside.
"Harder, Humphrey," she demanded. She bit her lip desperately, her breasts bobbing like two buoys adrift in a violent storm.
Dan happily obliged. He was getting close now, and he could feel she was getting close, too. He suddenly slowed it down, grinning mischievously as Blair turned back and shot him the Waldorf "What the hell are you doing, Humphrey?" look he knew so well.
And with that, he dug in his fingertips harder and picked up the pace.
And braced himself for the orgasm of his life.
With the woman of his dreams.
Their bodies had never been more in sync...
Dan thrust hard into her one last time, holding her body hostage as he emptied himself inside of her with everything he had. "Fuck..." Dan groaned, completely out of breath.
"YES!" Blair cried out. "Oh YES!" He thrust lightly now as they came down together, both unbelievably sated-but already thinking about the next round.
"Oh my God..." Blair smiled in exhaustion, falling into the pillows. Dan fell right beside her, breathless and dripping in sweat.
"How was that?" he questioned, already knowing the answer.
What they said was true. Being pregnant heightened all of your senses. Blair could still feel her body pulsating minutes later as they lay in easy silence. Dan's arms were wrapped tightly around her, caressing her stomach with the tips of his fingers, the breeze from the window cooling them down.
The nearby fountain was doing its part to keep them in a relaxed state.
And then, Blair looked up at him, her fingers tenderly grazing his arms.
"Is there something you wanted to ask me, Humphrey?" Blair wondered casually as she flipped her head to look at him.
Dan raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Um…"
"What are you waiting for? I've got three of your kids growing inside of me. Like at one time."
Dan suppressed a smile. This wasn't exactly how he'd planned it, but then it didn't really surprise him that she'd gone snooping.
"You found the ring?" Dan questioned in mock disapproval. He kind of figured she would.
"Well it's not like you hid it very well, Humphrey," she snipped.
They stared knowingly for a moment, with huge grins on their faces.
Blair then cleared her throat. Dan shook his head and reached his hand inside the top drawer of the side table. He then pulled out a small, black jewelry box. Blair sat herself up and brushed the hair out of her face.
He opened the box to reveal a breathtaking, cushion cut diamond bezel set in rose gold. It was totally unique. And Dan rolled his eyes as Blair feigned a surprised look for him.
He retrieved the ring and Blair smiled, admiring it. "Well done, Humphrey," she praised sincerely.
Blair raised her left hand, extending her dainty fingers eagerly to him.
As he slid the ring on…
"Blair Waldorf, will you —"
"YES!"
She tackled him onto the bed and smothered him in kisses.