Hey you guys! I hope you like the story so far! Please, please, PLEASE review! And give me some tips! I'm trying to update as soon as possible, but sorry if it takes a view days with my next chapter, I'm slowly gaining more and more homework. It sucks, I know. So, please tell me what you think through REVIEWS! I've just noticed that I haven't done a disclaimer, and this is probably the only time I'll remember. I DO NOT OWN THE HOBBIT. There, now it's legal. Here's Chapter 3.
I woke up, and groggily looked around. The fire had been put out, and the wood was damp. There were bodies sprawled all around the camp, most of them were snoring. It was chilly, with what felt like tiny icicles drifting in whenever the wind blew. Out in the horizon, a gray light was just peeking up with the sun. I estimated it around 5:30 or 6:00 and reasoned why the rest weren't awake. Some heroes.
I stood up, shaking off the last few effects of sleep, not that I had gotten very much. I had spent my first night on the road tossing and turning, feeling like every rock's personal life goal was to be annoying and stab me in the back every chance they got. I also am not great when sleeping with snoring people. So, if I was grumpy that morning, it was their fault.
I searched with my eyes to find Bombur's bag. Why? I had promised myself that I would make every body breakfast, especially Thorin, to get on his good side. As I searched, scoured, and looked with every thing I had, I still had not found Bombur's bag. I groaned internally, and started to pull on my boots. That's when I saw it, a large tanned leather knapsack tied to the pony Mindy. I had named her myself; I hope you can see why.
I took a step forward and nearly stepped on Kili. My breath halted; the last thing I needed was to step on him and wake the entire camp up, and that wouldn't have gotten me on their good side, huh? I gently stepped over Kili and continued on with my journey to the knapsack, trying to be as silent as the wind. I was doing pretty good, seeing as I was quite clumsy. Then the answer reached me, I was an elf, and according to Gandalf I was going to receive quite a few useful blessings and skills, this must have been one of them.
I crept quietly through slumbering dwarves, and a hobbit, and I was just maybe ten feet from the knapsack, when I tripped and fell on the thing that had tripped me. I had a strange idea of what I was on top of, and I was very, very scared that I was correct. I looked down. I had tripped and fell on top of Thorin Oakenshield himself. Lucky me. I almost sobbed at the irony of it all.
I scrambled off and looked at the now open blue irises, and the owner of them was glaring at me. "What inthe name of Valar are you doing?" he croaked. I swallowed and mentally thought, dun dun DUN! I tried to look him in the eyes.
"Umm, I was trying to cook all of you breakfast and was making my way towards the food, but then I tripped over you and you woke up and now we're here!" I blurted. I will say it now, but that was a bit exhausting to say, and I was huffing when he looked at me. He maintained an expression of amazement at me for a short while, and then it morphed into some sort of scolding face.
"Bombur is the cook; he will handle the food. Now, get to bed and leave me alone!" he growled. He was very extra grumpy, seeing that it was the early morning. I scrambled up from my position on the floor and walked quickly towards my sleeping place next to Kili, on the other side of camp. When I made it there, I laid down quickly, my heart beating a notch faster that usual.
I looked over at Thorin; he had also laid back down, a motionless lump in the cold morning. I turned back to face Kili's back, and gently shut my eyelids. I thought of more ways to be liked among Thorin, and prove to him that maybe, just maybe, elves aren't so bad. I eventually planned on helping pack the ponies; a much lower down grade than cooking breakfast. I'll admit the idea was a bit silly, but I tried.
I eventually fell asleep, listening to the wind blow through the trees, and Kili's soft breathing.
I awoke a few hours later, feeling refreshed. I could smell bacon in the air and something else that smelled good but I didn't quite know. It turns out it was their version of sausage; fried meat of any kind rolled into a cylinder. It may not sound good, yet I still took some on my platter.
I made my way through four pieces of bacon, and looked down uncomfortably at the sausage thing. I picked it up, hoped that it wasn't another one of Bombur's specials, and took a bite. It was actually quite good, if I do say so myself. It was juicy with just a hint of spice. Mmmmm.
After a while of chatting together nicely, we began to pack up and head out. I did keep my promise, mind you. I helped pack the ponies, but no matter. We set off with a loud song, and sang until we all tired of it. I even tried to sing one of my favorite songs, but they all looked at me strangely so we went back to the old tunes.
I was riding with Kili today, much more fun than Fili. We laughed and told jokes, and I'd even taught him and Fili knock knock jokes. "What is a 'knock knock joke' my lady Rosie?" Fili asked when I tried to suggest us telling them. I thought about how to explain it and said, "A knock knock joke goes like this, one person says 'knock knock' the other says 'who's there'. Then the first person says something, then the other goes 'something who?' then the first says 'something something' and they both laugh because it's funny."
"Do you get it?" they both nod their heads. "Here, I'll tell you one. Knock knock." They both stare at me blankly. "Knock knock." "Who's there?" Kili tried. I nod in approval. "Little old lady." "Little old lady who?" Fili responded. "Whoa! I didn't know you could yodel!" I laughed at my own wit. They both smiled, and then eventually laughed.
We had a fine time telling knock knock jokes, Fili and Kili making up some pretty good ones. We stopped for the night by some old run down house. I, with my new elven ears, heard Gandalf say softly, "An old farmer and his wife used to live here." I quickly shut him out, for I hadn't wanted to hear anything sad, like death.
Thorin and Gandalf apparently had a conversation, and after a while Gandalf stormed past me. "W-where are you going?" Bilbo asked him. "To seek the one person here who makes any sense!" "And who'd that be?" he asked. "Myself!" and with that, Gandalf vanished from sight.
I didn't really worry, but I don't really know why. I should have. I faintly heard Bofur say something to Bilbo, but my mind was focused on something else. Food, to be exact. The soup was simmering in a cauldron. Yum.
When the soup was cooked it was being served around, Bombur was ladling out bowls for us all. I saw Bofur hand two bowls to Bilbo. "Take that to the lads, will you?" he then turned to me and said for me to go with him. We made our way to where Kili and Fili were watching the ponies.
When we got there they were staring straight ahead, and when Bilbo tried to hand them the two bowls, they made know sign of acknowledgement. "Is there a problem?" he asked. I looked at them curiously. "We were supposed to be looking after the ponies." Kili stated. "Only we've encountered a slight problem." Fili said. "We had sixteen, now there's fourteen." Kili finished gravely.
"Which ones?" I asked.
"Daisy and Bungo are missing."
"Oh," Bilbo's voice was small. "That's not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?" Kili had a slight panic attack. "Er-no. Best not to worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might want to look into it." Bilbo looked at him, quite unwilling to look into it. "Well, um, it looks as if something big babooted these trees." He began.
That was the first time I'd noticed that. "That was our thinking." Fili said. "Something very big, and possibly quite dangerous." Bilbo said, staring at the tree. Fili had moved up a bit. "Wait! There's a light!" we all bustled over quickly and ducked behind a fallen tree. We heard laughing come from the fire light. "What is it?" I asked, having no knowledge of this world. I then noticed Bilbo was still balacing the bowl of soup in his hands. I rolled my eyes.
"Trolls." Kili said. Bilbo and I shared a special look; we had to get out of there, pronto. I know I was supposed to bravely fight the trolls, but I wasn't quite ready for that just yet. Then we heard something and felt something shaking the ground. Then I saw it; a large, ugly, grey skinned creature marched past us, carrying two more ponies under its arms. "They've got Myrtle and Mindy! We have to do something!" Bilbo whispered.
The two brothers looked at him, and I could practically see the light bulb above their heads. "Yes! You should! Mountain trolls are so stupid and you're so small," Kili said enthusiastically. Bilbo shook his head, realizing what he meant. "They'll never see you!" continued Kili. "It'll be perfectly safe, we'll be right behind you!" "And if you run into trouble," Fili cut in, pushing Bilbo towards the trolls. "Hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl."
And with that, he got up and ran off to camp. Kili then also got to his feet, and pulled me up with him. Soon, we were running also. "We can't leave him there, he'll die!" I whined as we ran. "He'll be fine!" Kili responded. "Besides, we're going to tell Thorin." "We're telling them?" Kili gave me a look, then said, "Of course! Why wouldn't we help him? We're not heartless you know."
By then, we'd reached camp. "Thorin," Fili said, breathless. "Bilbo's in trouble, its trolls!" "Trolls? How'd they get down here?" Thorin said, grabbing his sword. Every one else stood and got there big weapons; axes, swords, knives, a bow. I was left with a big stick. I was going to fight, I wanted to prove myself and help Bilbo. I couldn't help liking the lad.
We raced back to the trolls, then slowed and crept quietly up to them. They were all sitting around the fire; one was stirring a great pot of stew. One snorted and sneezed into it, shooting a great clump of something into it. "Oh, it's a floater," one cried, inspecting it. "It'll and some more flavor." "Well there's more where that came from!" Sneezy said cheerfully. "Oh no ya don't!" the-what seemed to be the leader of the trio, he got up and pinched the bridge of Sneezy's nose, and forced him down into a sitting position.
Then Sneezy soon got up, and grabbed his hanky. He blew his nose in there, looked at the boogies, and doubled back. "Look what's come out of me nostrils!" he said excitably. The other two gathered around him to have a look. "It's got arms and legs and everything!" he told them. Then I realized that Sneezy had blown his nose into my dear friend Bilbo. He was probably scarred for life after that poor experience. The others seemed to have come to this conclusion also.
Kili then came charging out, yelling, "Drop him!" and they did, they were simply startled that a random dwarf had popped out of nowhere. Kili started to slash and stab at the trolls' feet. I charged after him, shouting some sort of Indian war cry. It seemed a good time to do that. We were all soon fighting, Dwalin slashing with a heavy axe, Thorin with his sworn, me with my stick. I was saved personally by Kili on more than one occasion, almost getting squashed into jelly by a troll's foot.
Later though, a troll was meaning to step on my poor friend Kili, and a swiped Ori's slingshot from his hands and took aim. I pulled back, and let go. I had been aiming for its eyeball, but instead smacked it right between the eyes. I'm pretty darned good. I have no experience in archery. It howled and staggered back. Kili nodded thanks, and I smiled.
We continued on fighting(I had given Ori his slingshot.) and then every body stopped. Two trolls held Bilbo, holding each of his arms and legs in a hand. "Put down your arms," one snarled. "Or we'll tear his off." Thorin looked up angrily at it, and threw down his sword. All of us followed suit.
We were soon tied up in sacks, getting ready for a roasting, which some others were experiencing. They cooked them rotisserie style, turning them on a little pole. They were currently discussing something. "-Dawn ain't far away, and I don't fancy being turned to stone!" one said loudly. Everybody looked at each other. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked. Fili nodded. I took a rather large inhale with my nose, sucking in what smelled of rotting onions. I gagged. Now I knew what we were being cooked with.
"Wait!" shouted Bilbo, standing up best he could. "You are making a terrible mistake!" Very good. I thought. I shoulda done that!
"You can't reason with them, they're half wits!"
"I meant er- with the seasoning." Bilbo continued. I raised an eyebrow. "Have you smelt them?" he added. "You're going to need something stronger than sage when you plate this lot up." I was a bit offended by that, and joined the dwarves in complaining.
One troll leaned forward. "Let the uh, hobbit talk." He said. "Now, the er, secret to cooking dwarf is to-" pause. "To-" another pause. "To skin them first!" he stated proudly. What? "What? Are you kidding me?!" I shouted out. The dwarves erupted in shouts of decline. "What a load of rubbish. There's nothing better than a bit of raw dwarf." One troll stated. To prove his point, he leaned down to pick one of us up.
Then Kili did something very unexpected. He rolled on top of me to my surprise- to keep me hidden from view. I smiled to myself. Swoon. I'd have to thank him later. Luckily, the troll picked Bombur up instead. He hung him up with his head tilted back, about to eat him like a noodle. "Not that one!" Bilbo yelped.
"He-he's infected!" "He what?" "He's got worms," Bilbo continued. "In his…tubes." The troll yelped and tossed Bomber back into the pile. I watched as he flew into the air…and landed directly on top of me and Kili. Kili gave a great huff, and I simply screamed. "Ouch, get off! I am suffocating. I can't breathe!" I gasped. He rolled off us, and I took in a deep breath. "Thank gosh. I can breathe." Kili soon rolled off also. A bit of disappointment in that action, really. He wasn't that heavy.
"In fact," Bilbo carried on. "They all have. They're infested with parasites, it's all very terrible business-I wouldn't risk it really." I caught on to what he was trying to do and had an aha moment. Good thinking.
"We don't have parasites!" shouted Kili. "You have parasites!" he had obviously not caught on that Bilbo was trying to save our butts. All joined in with him. I was about to yell at them to shut it, but Thorin beat me to it. He gave them all a swift kick, having also caught on. They all changed their shouts after a quick pause.
"I have parasites that are very large indeed. I really need to see a doctor." I stated. Kili came after. "I've got parasites as big as my arm!" he yelled. "We are riddled with them!" "Yes, yes we are!" soon we were all in chaos, yelling about our make-believe parasites.
"What? You want us to let them go?" a troll said. Bilbo nodded. "This little ferret is taking us for fools!" "Ferret?" Bilbo yelped. Then Mister Wizard himself appeared on top a large rock, and said something to the trolls. Something that I interpreted as, Sorry, but its morning, ya know, dawn? Time for you to die. I know that Gandalf would never say that, but I would.
Gandalf stabbed the rock with his staff, and morning light came pouring in. the trolls screamed and then turned to stone. I watched the process with wide eyes. "Oh… my… gosh!" I let all my panic seep into those three words, and it had released my faint Irish accent. They all looked at me funny. I rolled my eyes. "Let's get out of these sacks, shall we?"
We were soon out of our sacks, and Thorin said, "There must be a cave nearby." They all looked extremely excited. "And what's so important?" Kili looked at me, dark eyes glittering with relief and excitement. "Treasure, Rosie. We get treasure." Ooooooooh.
Whew. That was a long writing session. Hope you all enjoyed, and review, review, review! I tried to make it a longer one, because I'm going out into the wilderness this weekend to camp. Please tell me what you think! Ta ta!