Author's note: Sorry for the wait. Had my twin boys second birthday party in the weekend. Have taken today and tomorrow off work to recover. Means more writing time for me!
Author's note 2: I still have a lot of head canon for this story – like a conversation between Quinn and Katherine about pregnancy and childbirth. Kurt's dad's reaction to Dave. Flashbacks to their lives before. Just… I came up with a ridiculous amount because I had no access to a computer to actually write, so instead I just created a world.
It's different. Wholly and completely different when he re-enters the compound after being in quarantine for ten days with everyone else. Everyone inside the compound already knows him, or of him, so they defer to his leadership when dealing with his group, even though there is his dad and Finn. But they seem more than willing to let him take the fore here, because he knows more. He listens as Dave takes them through the stipulations, saying that everyone needs to work a month in each area, so they can know how everything works and be able to help out in those areas in the future if needed. It makes sense to make sure everyone has the base knowledge.
Quinn is excused from a few things, still told she will need to learn the goings on, but that her activities can be modified. News that she was pregnant had been the definite highlight of their arrival, eased their entry with the sheer excitement and energy that an impending baby brings. He's grateful for it, knows that it has helped, and has made them somehow more approachable, everyone wanting to offer things or help to her. She's getting medication to help with the nausea and has started glowing with the extra attention, but also the simple fact that they are now settled.
Dave and he are too busy initially, eyes just meeting and holding, heavy with meaning as they organize work groups, find out what people are interested in. Sort out housing. Get Quinn settled with Noah, which had been something of a shock. Rachel is rooming with Tina and Mercedes. They manage a few heated kisses, but getting interrupted every single time before it heads into something… more. He's been placed into a house with his dad and Finn, and for the first time in five years he has his own bedroom. But it's not where he wants to sleep.
His dad and Paul get on, argue over football and baseball, while Katherine tuts over both of them until she gets sick of their arguing and shoos them out to find something more productive to do with their time. He works during the day in the waste treatment, deciding to get the worse over first but is actually surprised at how little it smells. As long as he doesn't think about it he's fine, but hot showers become his evening ritual.
The eighth night in the compound he keeps his eyes on Dave, wants him to know what he wants. The rest of the group feel more settled, they still sit together, but Dave has split everyone into pairs to rotate them through the different areas, and already it's working to integrate them. He leaves the dining hall, not sure who is more embarrassed when he tells his dad not to expect him home tonight. Fuck, he never thought he'd say that again. Home.
He feels light-footed as he heads toward Dave's living quarters, and he gets a few waves from people as he goes and that still feels surreal, just being enveloped into the community so quickly. He avoids conversation though, calling out good nights to those who seem like they might want to initiate a conversation. He gets to Dave's small space, what he is certain used to be an office has been converted to be a small and utilitarian sleeping space. He has a key. Not that he really needs it, because Dave doesn't lock his space. Except when he's in it. He closes the door behind him, locking it, and he hopes that that's enough of a clue to Dave that's he's here inside.
He doesn't know if his inexperience is obvious or not, but he's not going to let that or the slight nerves stop him from getting what he wants. He wonders if he should tell Dave, surely that's something lovers should share, in the interest of honesty? He strips, deciding on another shower, his third for the day but the demand won't be high at this time of night. Most people are eating.
He scrubs, taking extra care in the shower, licking his lips nervously and trying to ease the fluttering in his stomach with calm logic as he pats himself dry. He places the towel carefully on the rail to dry, walks naked back to Dave's bed in a hurried scuttle before burrowing beneath the sheets and blankets. It's not cold exactly, but neither is it summer weather. He hasn't brought anything with him and he lies there, his mind racing through dozens of questions while he waits for Dave to arrive.
His door is locked.
Only four people have a key, and it's not needed anyway, he only keeps the bare minimum in his sleeping quarters. His heart starts beating harder, louder in his ears as he realizes where Kurt has been all night. He'd looked for him, had thought briefly that he was being avoided before deciding that maybe Kurt was just tired. He doesn't second guess the attraction between them, knows Kurt won't be reconsidering him. And this is all the confirmation he needs. He slides his key into the lock and turns it slowly.
His eyes adjust slowly to the darkness of the room, light from outside throwing the few objects in the room into monochromatic relief but he can see Kurt, blankets drawn up past his shoulders.
"Hi…" He hears the slight catch in Kurt's voice and he lets out a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding in. "I thought you'd be here earlier."
"Have you been waiting long?"
He huffs and pulls his t-shirt from the waist band of his pants and over his head. He's been helping in the orchards today, harvesting, helping lift heavy baskets of fruit and had been definitely heading for the shower before he'd found Kurt in his bed. He licks his lips, a bit unsure about how to proceed. There isn't a haze of arousal driving him, making him unable to think, so of course he is thinking too much. Plus it's been so long, and the last ten days the idea of this happening has been burning away in the back of his mind.
He can already feel himself getting harder at just the idea and has to hold back a laugh, just in case Kurt thinks he's laughing at him. He's not. He's so not. He's just feeling ridiculously normal, that in the midst of everything he deals with on a day-to-day basis he can now throw the idea of sex into the mix, which just feels so normal.
Toeing his shoes off but leaving his pants on he walks to the edge of the bed, resting his knees on the edge and leaning down to kiss him. They've managed that, in passing fleeting moments over the last few days, along with brushes of hands. There's been a little ribbing of course, all good natured, and he supposes the people he works with want to see him happy. His tongue presses along Kurt's bottom lip, then his teeth as Kurt opens his mouth slightly.
He feels Kurt shift, arms coming up from beneath the covers and his skin feels warm, almost feverish to the touch and he moves further onto the bed, letting his body settle along Kurt's and he feels the jut of his erection. He reaches down, palming it through the layers of fabric and pulls back from kissing him.
"You're… you started without me?"
"No, well, yes? I lay some ground work?"
"Oh…" He'd thought that maybe he'd be shy, but he should have known differently. Kurt isn't afraid of anything, including him. Maybe especially him. He continues rubbing his cock, enjoying the thrust of Kurt's hips upward to meet his hand and his low groan of appreciation.
"Yeah, I really meant it when I said too long."
"Right. What do you want?"
"Shit. Don't ask me that, I can't… think."
"Okay. You don't need to think… we can just… do."
He says it with a smile, mindful of how cheesy it sounds, but Kurt is smiling back, fingers running down his back and he arches into it, letting himself just feel. The blanket has been dragged down to Kurt's belly and he sees a flash of pubic hair before Kurt is pulling them back up to cover himself. He wonders if the blankets are an added security, Kurt just keeping an extra barrier between them for whatever reason. He tugs them down slowly, looking at Kurt and waiting for an objection before lifting his own body to drag them down completely and shoving them off the end of the bed with his feet, quickly shucking his own pants and underwear.
It leaves Kurt lying naked, eyes daring him to say anything and he wonders what is in his past to make him look so combative in this situation, because he knows Kurt has never been here before. He runs his hands down the full length of his body, starting at the soft curve of his shoulder, over his chest and hip before ending on the flank of his thigh. The softness of his skin makes his own feel even rougher than ever and he shifts closer.
"You're gorgeous. So fucking gorgeous."
He watches the flush of pink in Kurt's neck and lowers his head to lick up his neck, repeating the words in a whisper into the curve of his ear. His skin is palest at his groin and upper thighs, the pieces of skin which have probably never seen the sun. His torso, like his own, has varying tan lines of different intensities from being outdoors, although Kurt looks like he has always worn a singlet of some type with his arms a much darker tan overall. His cock is beautiful, dusky rose and hard, curving up and back, with a slight cant to the left. He licks the tip and inhales deeply, closing his eyes to savor the taste and smell more intensely. He smells clean and musky, and fucking lavender all over again and he groans.
"Do you – want to – know something?" He asks, punctuating every couple of words with a sucking kiss to the surface of his skin as he moves upward, enjoying the rise of blood to the surface. Kurt makes a mmm-hmm sound and he moves to straddle him, careful with his weight as he slides his cock against Kurt's length, enjoying the sight. "The smell of lavender makes me hard now. Even when you were gone, when I thought I'd never see you again, I would walk past the fucking lavender fields and smell you, and Jesus Christ…"
"Some days I would walk past just so I would be reminded of you," he admits quietly, gripping his erection and wondering what to do, how far he can take this. It's their first time together, but they have… forever. He smiles. They don't need to rush anything. His body isn't exactly agreeing with that idea though, just Kurt's body finally lying here, in his bed, willingly, makes him ache in a good way. He's forgotten how good it feels, the building pressure of release when it's part of something with someone else.
"No, don't say sorry. I like lavender. Now."
Kurt laughs and he runs his nose over his collarbone, scraping his teeth gently and enjoying the rub of Kurt's erection over his knuckles. He opens his hand, taking Kurt's cock into his fist and jerking, watches his body arch off the bed and mouth fall open in pleasure.
"Kurt… I don't think this is going to last very long."
"You're telling me."
He laughs this time, letting himself kiss Kurt slowly, tongues slide wetly, teeth bumping and he shifts his weight, wanting to get the angle right so he can grip both of them together. He's out of practice, wants this to last all night but realistically knows that isn't going to happen. His body is conditioned to almost five years of short-sharp perfunctory jerking off sessions, he's not allowed himself the time for anything more. Not needed to.
In a way he's glad, because it makes everything feel brand new right now. He doesn't need to think about before, his past boyfriend or one-night stands that are so long ago he barely remembers them. They're from a lifetime ago. All he remembers is Kurt. All he wants is Kurt. Of course it means that he's going to come faster than he wants, he's too turned on right now, Kurt's fingers digging into his arms, back, ass, wherever he can reach it seems, just desperate to touch. He knows the feeling, although he's not touching as much as he wants, or tasting, but he doesn't think he'll ever get enough.
Their bodies shift against each other, hands fumbling on their own and then on each other's dicks, gripping and twisting in awkward angles that cause breathless moans and snorted sounds of cut-off amusement. There's pre-come slicking the way, just enough to make the air smell headily of sex. He can already feel the tightening in his balls, the presence of Kurt beside him making it come on even faster, and he groans at the increase in pressure, deliberately holding back his release.
"Kurt, fuck, you…" He's wants to articulate everything. How much he turns him on, how he admires him for his strength, his sense of humor. How he wishes he knew Kurt from before. Their paths would have probably never crossed if they weren't living the lives they are now.
The sharp press of nails into his upper back make him aware that Kurt is close, or he realizes coming right now, eyes screwed shut and lips trapped between his teeth, as if he's afraid to let any sound escape. He moves his hand slower before finally releasing it, wrapping it around Kurt's, which had been jerking his cock in jerky half-aborted movements. It feels slightly odd, having someone else's hand on his cock after so long, his own hand on theirs, giving silent direction harder faster and he comes a few minutes later, his body shuddering and his eyes rolling to the back of his head for a few seconds before focusing back on Kurt.
"Are you okay?"
"I… yes. More than okay. How long before we can do that again?"
He kisses him, feels him smile beneath his lips and smiles in return.
Dave falls asleep, his arm slung low over his middle, holding him snugly to his body in the cooling temperatures. It feels intimate, and he can't deny that he likes the feeling. It feels safe and like he belongs, something he hasn't felt in a long time. He lets himself drift, feeling a little too wide awake to fall asleep as easily as Dave but not wide awake enough to get up and do anything productive. Plus he's happy where he is.
"I think chocolate chip sheep would definitely work…"
"As opposed to other flavors of sheep hmm?" Kurt replies, smiling into the darkness of the room. He has missed this, silent silly conversations that have no beginning or end, and definitely no point to them whatsoever. Dave's quiet and deep voice lulling him to sleep some nights when he found it difficult to stop worrying. About everything.
"And peppermint busses."
"Your subconscious is a strange place Dave Karofsky…"
"At least you aren't talking about helping cows give birth this time."
He feels Dave shift, the cadence of his breathing change subtlety and he knows that Dave is awake.
"Only just…" It's a low grumble and he feels the arm around him tighten slightly and he pushes back, not really realizing how suggestive the movement is until he feels Dave's soft cock press against his ass. "That'll wake me up pretty quickly though."
Kurt laughs, embarrassed but wondering if he should press back more, because he's been curious, wants to know what it will feel like, because it's not like he's had many opportunities to experiment, with people or…otherwise. Hurried fumblings with a dildo in his dorm room over six years ago don't count.
"Did I wake you? With my sleep talking?"
"Uh, you know you do that?"
Dave chuckles and murmurs a quiet 'of course' in his ear, and he swallows a sound of encouragement, years of having to be quiet because of cramped and shared sleeping arrangements conditioning him with the need to be quiet. He wants to ask what time it is, how long they have until they need to get up, but time is pretty meaningless and he rocks his hips, deliberately suggestive this time, knows Dave can't miss his meaning.
"Not only do I know I sleep talk, but I know you talked to me… I woke up most nights when you did."
He stops moving, unsure what to say to that, because it feels like a betrayal, that he suddenly knows everything Kurt whispered to him in the dark in the middle of the night. He feels Dave's arm around his waist tighten, lips and tongue nibble at his shoulder before placing a few small butterfly kisses on his neck.
"I didn't stop talking. Some of those conversations we had… when you probably thought I was making more sense than normal, then I was probably awake."
"Oh. Right." That means that Dave knows… pretty much everything. He chews on his lips slightly, wondering, because Dave talked a lot, about everything, so he probably knows just as much about him. And now he knows it wasn't nonsensical. He had told Dave some pretty heavy stuff, thinking he wouldn't remember. "So you know…" About my mom. Carol. Being a virgin. Being bullied in high school. Oh god.
"Yeah. But… it's private. We can talk about it more later. Or now, if you want…"
"No, not now… later is good."
He remembers Dave talking about his own high school experiences, and he knows that it wasn't exactly a bed of roses for him either. Knowing everything he has heard during the nocturnal discussions is probably true he knows next time he sees Azimio he's going to give the man the strongest bone-crushing hug he's capable of, and maybe Dave's parents as well.
He turns slowly, not wanting to lose Dave's arm around him, wiggles a bit so that his own arm can settle around Dave's side, fingers tracing softly over the muscles in his back, slightly tense beneath his fingers. He kisses him just as softly-slowly, trying to tell him without words that this is more. It's reaffirmation of life, that there is something more than just sheer survival to care about.
Dave kisses back just as gently, and it's nice, tender, as if they both want to be careful with one another, but also unsure of how to proceed and feeling a little raw. It's how he feels anyway, although it decreases in intensity as his skin tightens, prickling with awareness at every point Dave touches him. The soft slow touches are continuing, but his response to them is no longer just a quiet background hum, instead it's as if the volume has been slowly increasing, blood now roaring in his ears, the sounds of their breathing louder, the smacking of saliva covered lips and skin sounding like bursting balloons. He pushes against Dave's body a little more forcefully, wants more but is unsure of how to ask for it. Earlier, much earlier, he'd started fingering himself, stretching himself open, hoping that they'd end up there, but he'd stopped, not really wanting Dave to walk in on him while he was doing that. Although the idea does hold a certain appeal.
Both their cocks are hard between them, hands brushing over them, the odd firm caress, nothing deliberately purposeful to make them hard too fast. He is hard though, a side effect of them touching and kissing for what feels like forever and he almost feels like crying from the building want.
"I –" Dave's voice sounds like it catches in his throat and he squints in the dark, wishing he could see his face more clearly. He feels Dave press at him, wonders what he wants exactly and then –
"Roll over," Dave murmurs, his voice quiet, directly into Kurt's ear and he complies with soft hum, nerves fluttering as he moves, careful to not knock Dave in the face in the dark. He feels Dave move, a knee on either side of his hips, his cock resting on Kurt's ass, thrusting softly. He moans quietly, hoping Dave takes it as encouragement, wants him to. He feels Dave run his hands down his back, not quite a massage, but more than just a caress, as if he's just enjoying the feel of Kurt being there.
As he strokes Kurt can feel his cock rubbing against his ass and he swallows, wondering whether Dave is missing light right now as well. Whether he would like to see the sight of his cock just lying between his ass cheeks. He knows he wants to see it. He feels Dave run fingers up either side and then his tongue lick up the length of his spine. He bites into the flesh of his palm, muffling his groan and he wants to make noise, knows logically he can, but he just can't bring himself to be loud, the quiet moan he let out before making him feel more than a little self-conscious.
Instead he lets his hips rock, knowing Dave will be able to feel him humping into the mattress, seeking the friction on his cock although his range of movement is severely restricted by Dave's weight on him. He moves then, lower, inserting a knee between his and he can feel the deliberate drag of his balls down his thigh and he pushes up, wanting more. Dave's hands are back on his lower back and ass cheeks, rubbing and stroking.
He feels warm breath and then his tongue flicking into the small indent in his lower back and he makes an undignified meeping sound, suddenly even more nervous about where this might be going. Despite the nerves though he spreads his legs and feels Dave move so that he's kneeling between his open legs. Dave massages his ass cheeks, as if he's trying to calm him, or try and tell him not to worry, or… everything.
"I've got you…"
The first swipe of tongue across his hole leaves him feeling exposed. Worried. Hopes he did a decent enough job in the shower, that the taste of the lotion he used earlier isn't foul, but overall he just doesn't want Dave to stop. And Dave isn't stopping, so he assumes his worries are baseless. Dave's tongue swipes again and again, slowly and firmly, thoroughly. He's feeling desperately hot, his cock trapped beneath his body and the little furtive rocks of his hips move him away from Dave's tongue and that's not what he wants.
He can feel the saliva dripping out of Dave's mouth, his open mouth just letting it drip out onto his ass, each pass of his tongue slower and a bit firmer, until it's a slick slide of tongue down the crack with very little friction. He feels the push at his knees and takes in a deep shuddering breath, pulling them up beneath him and feeling his ass cheeks spread. He's suddenly immensely glad for the dark.
"Fuck yes… just…"
He feels the small kiss to his lower back and he likes that he doesn't have to spell it out, that just because he feels nervous Dave isn't stopping. He can hear Dave muttering under his breath, telling him again how gorgeous he is, that he wishes he could see him and he chokes back a laugh at that. Then Dave's tongue is back in his ass crack and he lets out a long breath as Dave runs his tongue up and down before focussing solely on his hole. He can feel his tongue move in an ever-decreasing spiral before it pushes. He pushes back, wanting to be opened up like this, and he has to open his mouth, pant as he holds himself up as he feels Dave continue to work his tongue, a circular motion alternated with stabs.
He moves, settles himself his shoulders on the bed, because it seems like Dave is going to take his time, and he wants to enjoy every second, because his nerve endings are feeling raw, sparking sheer pleasure up his spine every now and then. His new position seems to make Dave happy, he can hear and feel him hum against his ass, then he feels his tongue working deeper and oh that's… different.
"Oh my god Dave…"
He gets a grunt in reply and he lets out a little aborted laugh, feeling slightly hysterical as he reaches for his cock, stroking it and then startling at the feeling of something larger, firmer pressing into him. He thinks for a brief second that it's maybe his cock before realising that it's a finger, slowly pushing inside.
"Keep touching yourself. Don't stop…"
It's good-bad-uncomfortable but he doesn't want it to stop either, pushes back and feels Dave place a kiss before licking around his finger, more saliva helping ease the slow in-out motion, Dave's tongue massaging around his finger and he's getting close, his own hand moving a lot faster on his cock then Dave's tongue, but the sensation, the knowledge, is more than enough to add to his impending orgasm. He lets his hand fly, can hear himself quietly whispering 'close, Dave, so close, oh fuck…'
He lets out a gasp as Dave presses his prostate, feels his hips buck slightly, wanting more of the same pressure but wanting to move away and then back at the same time. It's a muddle of conflicting feelings and he can't believe it feels this good their first time together, it just seems… unusual. He feels Dave's weight shift, mouth finally leaving his ass and he lets out a broken sob of half-laughter at the thought.
The increased rocking has him guessing that Dave is fisting his own cock and he's torn, grateful that they're not going for full penetration, but also not wanting to wait any longer to feel Dave inside him, thrusting and holding his body close to his. Instead he has Dave's finger inside of him, rubbing his prostate, making his balls tighten and he takes in a deep gasping breath before biting down on his forearm as he comes. His legs feel tight, trapped as if they are unable to move and he feels shattered, there is going to be a mark on his arm and his entire body feels shaky as he comes down from the high; hand still working on his cock slowly, enjoying the still-hard feeling without the pressure of needing to come.
Dave comes with a loud shout that mutates halfway through into a long drawn out moan, his finger slipping out, hand grasping his ass before he's being kissed all over again, Dave licking his body and he supposes they still have the rest of the night to try other things, because the amount of attention Dave is paying to his body right now tells him they definitely aren't done. He's pretty sure he'll survive and he grins as Dave pulls him close.
It's sticky and hot, but he's suffered much worse and he's in a bed which is a good start on any night. Dave is murmuring into his ear, quiet positive affirmations which make him feel warm inside and out and he hopes Dave knows he thinks the same of him. Dave's gone quiet when he finally realises he knows what to say, what he wants to say, but he speaks quietly, not really wanting to wake him if he's asleep.
"Are you asleep?"
He can't help a little laugh at that, snuggles back and pulls the blankets tighter around them.
"I think I'm in love with you."
Dave is silent for a brief moment and he feels like his heart and breathing has stopped.
"Good. I think I'm in love with you too. Now go to sleep."
He smiles and does as he's told.