Kurt's hands trembled as he walked into the ballroom where Will and Emma's wedding was being held. The chairs were artfully draped in white cloth with cute flowers to hold it together. People were milling around but there was only one that Kurt was searching for. He stood on his tip toes to look over the crowd as his mind flashed back to the week before in New York.
He had been forced to tell Adam that they weren't working out, no matter how much Kurt tried. His mind was permanently stuck in Blaine mode and he actually didn't mind, now that he and Blaine had become friends again. He had been hopefully about Adam, knowing it would be good for him to date someone else, but he had felt nothing in Adam's sweet kisses, no spark. He kept trying, thinking they just needed time to establish something the way he and Blaine had grown close as friends before becoming lovers; it was a lost cause.
Adam had understood, knowing what it was like to be hung up on someone, and had taken Kurt's rejection with grace. He still wanted him to be a part of the Apples, but asked for Kurt to give him a couple of weeks to regroup. Kurt had readily agreed, not wanting to leave the group or make things awkward between everyone.
And now, he was spotting a familiar head of gelled down curls, laughing and talking with Sam. Smiling, Kurt made his way over.
"Hey, stranger," he murmured in Blaine's ear when he got close enough. Blaine jumped and turned around, his smile growing wider when he saw who it was.
Blaine practically jumped into his arms. "Kurt, you're here," he laughed joyously. He tucked his face into the curve of Kurt's neck in an achingly familiar way as they embraced tightly.
"Of course I am, dummy, I wouldn't stand up my date." The pet name slipped out without thinking but Blaine just chuckled and stepped back, keeping his hands loosely on Kurt's hips. Their eyes held for several moments, hazel searching blue, before Sam cleared his throat.
He forced himself to detach from Blaine and turned to pull his other friend into a quick hug. "Hey, Sam! How's your family?"
Kurt mingled for a few minutes, greeting the old members of the glee club. Blaine was close by at all times, often touching Kurt's lower back as he introduced him to the newer members of glee. He would remember himself after a moment and remove his hand, but the feeling lingered, a small spot of heat that made Kurt shiver. Their hands brushed as they talked made their way around the room until Kurt gave into the desire and reached out, lacing their fingers together effortlessly. He saw Blaine stiffen for a moment out of the corner of his eye and squeezed his hand gently.
I'm here with you.
Soon enough, the glee club was called to their places as the guests settled into seats. Blaine seemed reluctant to leave, so Kurt pulled him into a tight hug, his arms around Blaine's neck, his lips next to his ear.
"Break a leg, okay?" He pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to Blaine's cheek. "I'll save you a seat."
Blaine nodded, his eyes bright as he stepped away. "Okay."
As they had at his dad and Carole's wedding, the glee club sang and danced down the isle before the bride, though most of the members were different. Once Emma was in place, however, the kids went to sit down, leaving plenty of space for all of Emma's bridesmaids.
Whereas most of the kids sat together, Blaine made his way back to where Kurt was. They smiled shyly at each other as the preacher began talking, but neither boy paid any attention. Blaine wanted nothing more than to grab Kurt's and hold it again. Kurt was trying to think of a way to take Blaine's hand without being obvious.
In the end, Blaine simply left his hand, palm up, on his thigh. He stayed facing forward, his face hot, as he waited.
A few seconds later, a warm palm fitted against his as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
It kinda was, he thought idly as he attempted to tune back into the wedding and failing.
Once the ceremony was done and Will and Emma had left the room, everyone began filing out, heading to the reception area for the next part. Kurt and Blaine stayed seated, talking to friends that came over as they waited for the crowd to thin. They got a lot of curious looks from everyone, eyes flicking between them and then down to their hands, but thankfully no one asked.
Finn led the group of new and old glee clubbers to the reception hall. Mercedes hooked her arm through Kurt's free one, chatting casually with him and Blaine, but from the looks she was giving him, he knew he would have some explaining to do later. He wouldn't mind, but first he wanted to talk to Blaine because he still wasn't sure what was going on.
Yes, they had reestablished their friendship and spoke nearly every day, but they always avoided that, the painful blip on the radar that hung precariously over their heads. They had both agreed that they needed to talk about it, needed to get out every hurt and pain that had been caused, but neither was eager to do so when they weren't face to face.
But now Kurt was back for a long weekend and intended to fix that. He had gotten in late yesterday evening and Blaine had spent the morning getting ready for the wedding. There would be time for talking later, Kurt vowed.
The students and former students silently decided to sit at a grouping of tables near each other so they could continue to talk. Everyone stood and cheered as the newlyweds entered. Kurt sneakily moved his chair closer to Blaine's and as soon as they were seated, Kurt reached for Blaine's hand again. Rachel was practically beaming at them, her eyes taking in how close they were sitting next to each other. Kurt glared half heartedly at her while trying to contain his own smile. Once the waiters came out with dinner, Kurt was forced to let go of Blaine, but the feeling didn't fade throughout the meal.
Once everyone was full, the bride and groom had their first dance, the girls from glee slipping off to sing. Kurt watched somewhat dreamily as Will spun Emma around. They were slowly joined by the bridesmaids and groomsmen, one of which included Finn. Once the song changed, he stood and held out his hand to Blaine. "Can I take a spin on the dance floor with my date?" he asked.
"Of course." Blaine grinned as he took Kurt's hand and followed him. A few boys had joined the girls on stage and a few girls stepped down so that one of the boys, who Kurt was pretty sure was Puck's brother, Jake, sang to Marley, the girl that had passed out at Sectionals. Without hesitating, Blaine's arms went around Kurt's waist, holding him like he had do many times before, most often in one of their bedrooms while music crooned from an iPod.
They didn't speak until the song changed again. "Don't you have to go up there soon?" Kurt whispered, pulling his head back a little so he could watch Blaine's face as he shook his head.
"Puck asked if he could take my first solo spot so he could sing something to the happy couple, since he snuck some alcohol in and didn't want to sing drunk."
"Thank god," Kurt laughed. He could feel Blaine chuckle against him where their chests were pressed together.
"We should talk."
Kurt's heart stuttered in his chest. "Yeah, I know. I was going to ask you to breakfast tomorrow, but if you want to do it now-"
"Please." Blaine's voice trembled as he cut Kurt off. "I don't want to go another day with this, this weight on my chest. I need to know that we're really all right and even if you only ever want to be friends, I just don't think that it will be okay if we don't talk."
"Sh, sh, it's okay," Kurt murmured, pulling Blaine close again as the other boy let out a shuddering breath. He kissed his temple and held his lips there, breathing in the scent of raspberries and Blaine's favorite cologne until Blaine took a deep breath through his nose and looked back up, his eyes shiny.
"Okay, I'm okay."
"Where did we go wrong, Blaine?"
"I think it started last year, to be honest. We stopped communicating as well and we never really resolved anything in Miss. Pillsbury's office and didn't talk about it afterwards."
"We just thought that nothing could get in the way of our teenage love," Kurt joked weakly, knowing that Blaine was right. Nothing had been the same since Blaine had started pulling away and they had both refused to acknowledge it.
"I thought I could handle you being so far away; that's why I pushed for you to go to New York. Everything I said was true, but I also thought I would be okay with everything. But you were so busy with your new life and your new job and it was like last year all over again, except it was actually happening. You were in New York and you stopped answering your phone as much and started missing Skype dates. When we did talk, it was never for long and you would be so distracted and it was every nightmare come true for me. I grew to rely on you so much and with you gone, I was floundering. You were my anchor and it felt like you were cutting ties." They had stopped dancing by then, standing on the edge of the dance floor.
"I tried to talk to you that day; I had called you at work, but some gossip columnist had called," Kurt flinched at the reminder; he had thrown away the chance to talk to his boyfriend over some petty gossip that hadn't even been true, "and you hung up before I could say I love you. It felt like you didn't care about me anymore." Kurt felt Blaine physically tense as he took a deep breath, stealing himself for the next part. Kurt led them back into the room where the ceremony had been held, squeezing Blaine's hand in reassurance as tears dripped down his cheeks. Blaine wasn't much better, but they didn't bother wiping them off.
"I was feeling lonely. You know how I am, I bottle everything up and I guess it all just came to a head when that guy," Blaine spat the word out, as though it left a nasty taste in his mouth, "poked me on Facebook and invited me over. I went because I thought I was losing you and I wanted to feel something, anything other than pain. I thought, maybe we weren't meant to be together. We-" Blaine swallowed thickly, staring at a point on the wall behind Kurt, "we fooled around on his bed. There was, um, some kissing and he took off my shirt. He was palming me through my jeans, but I couldn't even get hard. Eventually, he gave up and I just sat there, feeling like the worst piece of shit ever. I knew then that we were, we were always meant to be together and I had just stupidly fucked everything up because of my stupid insecurities and I'm so sorry, Kurt, I can't say it enough. That was the worst mistake of my life and I am so damn sorry."
Kurt held him close, letting Blaine's hands bunch his shirt up in the back under his suit jacket. "Sh, it's okay, I promise. You're not the only one who did wrong in this, Blaine. I made mistakes too. Please don't beat yourself up anymore. I should have listened, both in Miss. Pillsbury's office and after I moved to New York. I know how hard it is for you to verbalize your feelings and I should have paid more attention to you. I was just so excited about moving and finally being grown up and out of Ohio that I forgot. I should have made more time for you instead of blowing you off all the time, thinking you would be okay with it because, even though I was sure of us and what we had, I knew you had fears and doubts." Cupping Blaine's jaw, he forced him to look up, into Kurt's eyes. "I shouldn't have dismissed them or you and for that, I'm sorry, Blaine. I'm sorry for ever making you think I didn't love you."
He paused. "I can't say it was bad that we broke up, though. I think we were too dependent on each other, too busy clinging to young love to realize the damage it was causing." He smiled, his thumb mindlessly caressing Blaine's cheekbone. "I wish it had happened a different way, not so stupidly on our parts, but I've grown as a person. I've learned about myself and what I want and who I am."
Blaine let out a watery laugh. "Yeah, me too. It was hard, but, yeah, I guess learning to be Blaine again instead of KurtandBlaine was necessary."
"Have you forgiven yourself, Blaine?"
Blaine blinked at him. "What?"
"Have you forgiven yourself for cheating?"
"Yeah, I think I have," he said after a moment of quiet contemplation. "I know why I did it and I know I'll never do it again. I've accepted that nothing can change it and its time to move on."
"Good." Kurt pulled him close. "Because I've realized that I forgive you, too. We're both better people and we're coming out of this stronger than ever. Blaine, I-"
"Blaine, there you are!" They turn to see blonde girl standing in the doorway, her hands on her hips as she stared at them in annoyance. "Come on, you've got songs to sing."
"All right, Kitty, I'm coming," Blaine told her. He sighed. "We'll finish this later, okay?"
"Definitely." He kissed Blaine's cheek again just to see his eyes light up before he stepped away. "Knock 'em dead, tiger." He watched them walk away, the girl talking about stopping to get some wipes from her bag before Blaine went on stage, feeling lighter than he had in months. He headed to the bathroom to clean his own face off, staring at his red rimmed eyes in the mirror for a moment as he wet a paper towel and dabbed under his eyes. The group was nice enough not to say anything about it when he returned and a sincere smile was all it took to keep everyone, including Rachel, from asking questions.
Blaine's performance was perfect as he sung a duet with Tina, an upbeat number that had most of the room jumping. Mercedes dragged him out to dance, laughing as he did his little shimmy. The songs switched and switched almost as often at the singers did. Blaine eventually joined them again, dancing around Mercedes and twirling Kurt. When Dancing Queen started (sung by a winking Santana), Mercedes made a quick excuse and left them on the floor.
"May I have this dance?" Blaine asked, positively beaming.
"Always." Kurt allowed himself to be pulled in close, swaying to the beat as their pressed their heads together.
They stayed that way for most of the song until Blaine murmured, "Kurt, will you sing a song with me?"
"Well, after this song is over. I'm supposed to be up next and I was just wondering if you wanted to sing a duet with me?"
Kurt turned his head slightly, moving so that they were eye to eye. "What did you have in mind?"
Blaine didn't get a chance to answer as Santana finished up. "You'll know it, I promise."
They made their way to the stage as Santana walked off. "Get it, Hummel," she purred. Kurt rolled his eyes as Blaine spoke briefly to the DJ.
The moment the first notes filtered out of the speakers, Kurt knew what song it was. He bit down on his lip to keep his smile from growing too wide as Blaine stared singing Come What May, his eyes never leaving Kurt's as they slowly crossed the stage towards each other. They played well off of each other, just as they always had, and there was a thunderous applause after they finished.
Kurt blinked, coming back to himself as the faced the audience, both giving little bows and laughing a bit nervously. They went back to the tables as Unique and Marley got on stage. The area had become a little crowded, chairs having been dragged over until the group was all sitting at the table. There was hardly room for anyone to move, but Blaine snagged the only empty chair, offering it to Kurt. He shook his head, pushing Blaine down and primly sitting on his lap, one arm casually over his shoulder as he got caught up with some gossip with Brittany. Blaine's arm was solid around his waist, hand cupping Kurt's hip to help hold him up. They ignored the glances and excited whispers and vacant chairs that popped up when people left to go sing.
Everyone went outside to throw birdseed as Will and Emma left to change and catch their flight, then trudged back inside. Kurt resumed his perch as people began leaving until there was only the gleeks remaining. They caught up with everyone they hadn't already until Kurt yawned widely. He grinned ruefully, cheeks pinking lightly when he noticed everyone looking at him.
"I had an early class and a late flight yesterday, leave me alone." He yawned again. "I think I'm going to head home now."
There was a chorus of aw's as people stood up, hugging him and extracting promises of hanging out while he was in town before he was finally able to leave. Blaine was standing off to the side, waiting.
"I'll walk you out."
"Thank you." Kurt took the offered arm and gave the room one last wave as they exited. They didn't exchange words, simply enjoying the easy silence between them, no longer bearing the heavy weight of words unsaid. It wasn't until they stepped outside that they realized it was raining.
"Oh, no, and I forgot my umbrella," Blaine said, visibly upset. "Here, give me your keys and I'll-"
Kurt laughed, moving out from under the carport and spinning in the rain. "I'm siiiinging in the rain," he sang, stopping to grin at Blaine.
"But your clothes!" Blaine yelled over the rolling thunder.
"They're fine! Come on, come sing with me!" Kurt yelled back as he twirled further and further out into the parking lot. With a glance at the pouring rain, Blaine stepped out from under the carport and headed over to where his ex-boyfriend was laughing and playing like a child.
"Crazy for feeling so lonely," Kurt crooned back at him. They both dissolved into giggles, attempting to throw the rain at each other as they bits and pieces from different songs.
"Hey, Kurt? What were you going to say before Kitty came looking for me?"
Kurt's eyebrows furrowed for a moment before shooting up. "Oh!" He shifted closer. "I wanted to tell you that I forgive you."
"You do?" Blaine said, incredulous. He had thought it would take a long time and lots of apologizes before he would hear those words.
"Of course I do, dummy. It wasn't forever. It's never been over for me."
Blaine lurched forward, sealing their lips together. Kurt immediately followed suit with the rest of their bodies, holding Blaine flush against him. Strong arms hoisted him up and he couldn't stop the giggle from escaping. He could feel Blaine's lips curve into a smile as he sat Kurt back on the ground.
Without saying a word, Kurt tugged Blaine over to where his dads' truck was parked. He scooted across the bench seat as Blaine shut the door and then they were kissing, rain chilled hands sneaking under soaked shirts. Kurt leaned back until his back hit the door, one hand holding the back of Blaine's head as wet lips moved against wet lips, catching slightly. Blaine hovered over him, his knee slotted between Kurt's thighs and his other foot resting on the floor to help brace him.
Blaine's hand slid under Kurt's back, making him arch. "Down, move down," Kurt gasped. They scooted until Kurt was lying on his back with Blaine between his legs. Blaine leaned forward, brushing his lips gently over Kurt's before moving to suck the water off of Kurt's jaw and continuing down to his neck. Kurt grabbed at Blaine's shirt, uncaring of the fabric as Blaine bit down on his sweet spot. His hips arched involuntarily as a groan tore from his throat.
"Wait, Blaine, wait," he panted, pushing at Blaine's shoulder. "Hold on, we need to talk."
Blaine sat back, carefully easing his pelvis away, and Kurt had to bite down another groan at the sight of his red, kiss swollen lips. "Right, uh, talk, we should."
"All right, Yoda," Kurt teased. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want us to get back together yet, not like we were before."
Blaine blinked, thinking for a moment. "I guess that makes sense, seeing as how we ended up last time. I would never do anything like that again, but still. I like how we are right now, still friends and relearning how to work that way."
"Me too." Kurt's eyes followed a trail of water down from Blaine's hair, the gel loosened to let his curls free. It slid down, catching on the little hairs of Blaine's five o'clock shadow before dripping onto Kurt's shirt. He blinked, focusing back on Blaine's eyes. "I love you, and I want this, but not right now, not yet. It will be different after you get out of school and come to New York, but I just don't think I can handle being together anymore."
Blaine nodded along, his lips pursed thoughtfully. "What if, and I'm just throwing this out there, what if we're together, but not together? Like, what if we're just... exclusively dating each other until our timing is better? Would that be okay?"
"Exclusively dating, huh? I think I could work with that." Kurt grinned, tugging on some of the loose hair on the back of Blaine's head. "Seal it with a kiss?" Blaine laughed, dropping down for another kiss.