Episode 19: Minecraft Ain't Got Nothin' on This
Woohoo! It's Total Drama Writing Spree Day, and here's a new TDTIR chapter, along with tons of other updates and new fics from me. I know I said last time that chapters would be short from then on, but this is the longest one since Episode 13!
Anyway, I reread this whole story and feel like it hasn't always been that great. At first I didn't know how to write a good fanfiction, then I was so busy working hard on making my other stories hilarious that I kind of just churned this out. That's gonna change! This chapter is, as a result, one of the funniest and most dramatic in a while.
In other news, I was debating changing this story's rating from a K Plus to a K, 'cause really, there's nothing bad whatsoever in here. Then I remembered the frequent explosions, so I guess that's enough to qualify as a K Plus XD!
See what I mean? Finally, we should reach the 5,000 views goal between now and next episode!
(Camera shows Chris standing on the Dock of Shame)
Chris: Last time, on Total Drama The Island Reborn, the campers became capturers, as they kidnapped interns, former competitors, and vicious animals. Why? It was all part of a crazy challenge. Annette and Izzy came into conflict, Courtney and Noah both kicked butt, and Zeke got a chance to have a very awkward conversation with Dawn. In the end, it was a resurrected Stupid von Merkel that decided the eliminee, forcing Annette to fall down the Chute of Shame, never to be seen again. It's the final five! Or is it really? So, will this season ever get a main antagonist? Will Courtney continue to tick everyone off? And who is destined to fail next? Well, to see, just watch TOTAL, DRAMA, THE ISLAND REBORN!
(Theme song plays)
(The screen is totally black. Nothing can be made out)
?2: Hello yourself. What's going on here?!
?: I don't know! Is this Chris again?
?2: Probably. I don't like this one bit.
?: You think I do? I'm tied to a chair in the middle of a cold empty cavern!
?2: So am I, smart one.
?: Oh. Right. Think someone'll come and get us soon?
?2: We're dealing with Chris here. Don't count your chickens before they hatch.
?: Sigh. Why do I get the feeling this has to do with a challenge?
(Blake is the first one awake in the guys' cabin. He sits up in bed and lowers himself to the floor. The suit-wearing teen has barely taken a step before he's tackled)
Ezekiel: You'll never get me alive, eh! Take this, ya jerk!
(He throws a few punches at Blake and misses)
Blake: Zeke, calm down! What did I do to you?!
Ezekiel: Nothin', eh.
(He stops punching)
Ezekiel: I thought you were the squirrel!
Blake: Geez, you really need to lighten up. Relax.
Ezekiel: Okay. Um, how do you relax, eh?
Blake: No clue. I've never been relaxed before.
Ezekiel: Hmm. [after some thought] Aha! Sleeping's relaxin', a'yup.
(He dives into an empty bottom bunk only for the entire thing to collapse on him. Noah, who had the misfortune to be on the top bunk, rolls out onto the floor)
Noah: [grumbling] Talk about a rude awakening. What are you two up to?
Ezekiel: [pulling splinters out of his face] Relaxin', yo!
Blake: It's good for the soul.
Noah: You sound like Geoff. Now, as getting injured in stupid ways isn't my cup of tea, I'm outta here.
Noah: I suppose I should be glad I'm on good terms with my two cabinmates this far into the game. Truth be told, I'm not. Living with them is like reading Twilight; it's so unbelievably awful, yet you can't do a thing about it.
Blake: Maybe I'd do better at challenges if I relaxed. All I need is a dictionary so I can figure out just what 'relaxed' means.
Ezekiel: Stabbin' forks in yore eyes is prob'ly relaxin', eh. YOWCH! Never mind.
End of Confessionals
(Over in the girls' cabin, Courtney wakes up to find herself duct-taped to the ceiling. After the initial shock wears off, she frowns)
Courtney: Izzy! I know you're behind this!
Izzy: [popping up out of nowhere] Of course I am! Who else would've done it, Chef?
Courtney: Actually, Chef probably would do this. But whatever! Just get me down!
Izzy: Sure thing! Will some acid work? Disintegration and all?
Courtney: No, you'd disintegrate me too!
Izzy: That's the point! But, what about lava?
Courtney: Are you kidding me?!
Izzy: Not really. You could use a tan!
Courtney: There's a difference between getting a tan and melting.
Izzy: Is there now? Sigh. How about I just cut you loose with my sword?
Courtney: Not a chance! You'll decapitate me with that thing!
Izzy: Yeah, that's where all the fun in it lies! But, sheesh, you're picky.
(She rips all the duct tape off Courtney, and the C.I.T. falls the eight feet to the floor straight as a board and hits the ground with a very painful cracking noise)
Courtney: I swear, if Izzy doesn't end up killing me, I'll kill her! Enough is enough!
Izzy: If you can't fix it with duct tape, you didn't use enough duct tape. I'll probably need a lot of duct tape to fix Courtney. A few thousand rolls ought to do it!
End of Confessionals
(The contestants file into the new dining hall and are served gruel by Chef)
Blake: Is this the first time Chris hasn't woken us up ridiculously early for a challenge?
(Zeke shrugs, but Chef starts yelling)
Chef: It's a night challenge, suckers! Duh. Now shut it and eat yo gruel.
Courtney: A night challenge?! Come on!
Blake: Are night challenges good?
Courtney: Hah, as if! Night challenges are always bad news.
Ezekiel: No problemo for me, eh. Zeke's the name, challenging nights are the game!
Noah: Yeah. We'll see about that.
Blake: Well, what do we do all day?
Izzy: Izzy's got a mission to accomplish! It involves Chef, his kitchen, and Explosivo!
Noah: [sarcastically] 'Cause we haven't already blown enough things up on this show.
Izzy: Yeah! And you have to help me.
(She drags Noah out of the mess hall while the egghead protests)
Courtney: Okay then. With him out of the way, the three of us can discuss strategy.
Courtney: I know that going to those two for help means I'm desperate. So what if I am?! I need an ally to stay alive in this game...until the final two or three, where I can dump them.
Noah: I don't mind spending a day with Izzy. It's spending a day with Izzy AND explosions that I mind.
End of Confessionals
Blake: [nervously] Um, what about strategy?
Courtney: Well, you need an alliance to survive on Total Drama. You've only made it this far from beginner's luck.
Ezekiel: And chockate milk, eh.
Courtney: What? Never mind. The point is, you guys aren't in any alliances.
Blake: Actually, we're kind of voting with Noah.
Courtney: Noah! Noah will backstab you before you can say 'backstab'!
Courtney: Shut it! So...what do you say to allying with me?
Blake and Ezekiel: No.
Courtney: Have I told you how much I hate those two?
(The camera shakes its head no)
Courtney: Well, you're hearing it now! THOSE [bleeped out]S ARE ENOUGH TO DRIVE ANYONE [bleeped out]ING INSANE! AAARGH!
(She punches the wall)
Blake: Look, I may not know much about the game, but I know enough to stay away from Courtney.
Blake: Seriously, if she doesn't murder me, she'll probably sue me.
Ezekiel: Yo, the Zekester's too smart fer Courtney, eh! Incidentally, what's an alliance?
End of Confessionals
(Izzy dashes into the girls' cabin and comes back with dynamite. Then she places Noah in the middle of Chef's kitchen and hides the TNT, which is motion sensitive. The bookworm is very careful not to move. After a few seconds, Chef walks in)
Chef: You! What're you doin' in here?!
(He starts shaking Noah by the shoulders)
Chef: Answer me, gosh darn it, ANSWER ME!
(For the second time that season, the mess hall explodes and Noah and Izzy make their getaway)
(The scene is in the middle of the woods, at night. Chris is standing in front of a large cave mouth, with the five campers joining him)
Noah: [gesturing at the cave] What is that?!
Chris: A cave.
Noah: It wasn't there before.
Chris: Remember back in Revenge of The Island when the campers exploded the toxic mine?
Ezekiel: A'yup, eh! I woos there. Those mutant gophers were my homies, and that chick with hair the size of a mountain was cute!
Chris: You know what wasn't cute? YOU, being a freaky Gollum.
Courtney: [to Zeke] Actually, how'd you get back to your normal self?
Ezekiel: Chockate milk. Lots o' lots o' chockate milk.
Chris: Back on topic here, people. When that mine blew up, it opened up the entrance to this, the world's third-largest cave system!
Noah: [rolling his eyes] Yeah right.
Chris: Don't believe me? Just wait until you're lost inside.
Izzy: Izzy never gots lost! She just gets confused over where she is for a few days.
Chris: So, the first part of the challenge is to arrive at the central cavern, not too far away from here. The first two there get advantages in the second part of the challenge. The last two get disadvantages.
Noah: Is this an elimination or reward challenge?
Noah: [sarcastically] Oh goody. By vote or an automatic elimination?
Chris: You'll have to wait and find out!
Noah: I hate it when you say that.
Chris: I know. Anyway, there are three separate tunnels starting here. Some have transportation, some have hindrances, some have traps, and some are normal.
Courtney: How can you have four different types of tunnels when you only have three?
Chris: Easy there, cowboy. These three tunnels are for the first part of the challenge, which is kind of a race. The second part will involve hundreds of tunnels, and it's all based on luck!
Noah: Well, we all know how well luck favors me, so I can already say that this isn't gonna end well.
Chris: Whatever. We're running out of time here. Pick which tunnel you'll take and go!
(Izzy gets down on the ground and sniffs it. Like a pointer dog, she stiffens and points her head at the middle tunnel)
Izzy: C'mon Noah! Let's go!
(The bookworm crosses his arms and rolls his eyes as he's dragged off into the darkness)
Courtney: Well, I'm taking the left.
Courtney: Because I feel like it! You guys take the right.
Blake: Actually, I'll come with you.
Courtney: So now I'm stuck with the moron who wears a tie and denied an alliance. If they weren't cameras everywhere, I'd probably kill him!
Blake: Being alone in the dark with an Ezekiel is never a good thing. Then again, being alone in the dark with a Courtney probably isn't so smart either.
Ezekiel: Hah, the Zeke's back in his native environment, eh! Things are gonna be fun. Darkness, I eat you for lunch!
(Five minutes later)
Ezekiel: I WANT MY MOMMY! WAAAAAH! EH!
Noah: So I'm practically kidnapped by Izzy for the second time in a day. [smirking] I have to say, I kind of like it.
End of Confessionals
(The scene is pitch-black again)
?: So, what do we do now?
?2: Sit. And wait. And think about bad things happening to Chris.
?: Let's play I Spy!
?2: You can't play I Spy when you can't see anything, Cody.
Cody: Sheesh, Heather. I was just trying to break the tension!
Heather: Well you're doing an awful job of it.
Cody: You don't say...
Heather: Shut it, Cody! Your voice is giving me a headache.
Cody: How's that possible?!
Heather: It's not, but I still want you to shut up!
Cody: Sheesh. Again.
(The camera moves to Noah and Izzy. Noah is now walking instead of being dragged. They're in a sandstone cave tunnel, with lanterns every thirty feet or so to light up the area)
Izzy: Should we walk faster?
Noah: Nah, Courtney's obviously gonna sprint through the cave and fall into a ravine or something. Let's take the time to talk!
Izzy: Only happy to.
(She slips her hand into Noah's)
Noah: Are you seriously agreeing with me? About not doing something crazy?
(Izzy nods, smiling)
Izzy: So, what do you want to talk about?
Noah: Well- - -hey! Railroad tracks!
Izzy: Nope. Mine-cart tracks.
Noah: I don't like where you're going with this...
Izzy: Let's go!
(She runs ahead, pulling him along. After forty or so yards they reach a cart and Izzy throws Noah in. Then she gives it a push and it slowly starts moving, as the tunnel is sloping down)
Noah: You know we're probably going to die on this thing, right?
Izzy: Yep, and I'm lovin' every minute of it!
(The cart picks up some speed as it goes down the hill. Then it turns a bend and plummets down a near-vertical descent. Noah screams in fear as the redhead screams in delight. The track levels out and splits up into multiple routes. Their mine-cart rolls down the one second from the left, and does a loop-de-loop before going uphill. Their momentum is just enough to reach the top of the crest, then they plummet again. The track leads underwater but keeps on going, eventually surfacing as it continues on its crazy journey)
(The scene switches to Ezekiel, who is crawling on all fours through the darkness. The tunnel he picked is a wide cavern with no light whatsoever. The prairie boy is making his way along carefully and fearfully when he crawls over the edge of a sudden drop and falls into an underground lake)
Ezekiel: Not cool, eh!
(The scene switches yet again, this time to Courtney and Blake. They're clearly in an old mine shaft, as cross-beams support the dirt ceiling, the floor is smoother, the tunnel is even, and lanterns and old mining equipment are everywhere)
Blake: It's kind of creepy in here.
Courtney: No duh. I'm not scared though.
Courtney: Why are you walking so slowly?! If you're determined to stay with me, at least keep up!
Blake: I was only three feet behind you! Geez.
Courtney: Three feet is a lot in a cave.
Blake: You just don't want to be alone here, do you?
Courtney: No! Well, kind of. But can you blame me?
Blake: I can't. I'm scared to death in here!
(Suddenly, a barrage of toilet plungers fire out of the wall. The two duck just in time. Then live rabbits are launched out of the wall at them, followed by slime)
The cavern where Heather and Cody are tied to chairs in is suddenly lit up. Chris is over in a corner. He just flicked a switch, and a series of overhead LEDs has turned on. The cavern is mainly bare. Three tunnel entrances are on one side, and several dozen on the other)
Heather: Chris! I just knew you were behind this!
Chris: Figured it out so quickly, eh Einstein?
Cody: Um, what exactly are we doing here?
Chris: You'll have to wait and find out!
Heather: I hate it when you say that.
Chris: I know. Speaking of which, have you and Noah talked recently?
Chris: Inside joke. Never mind. Now zip it, our first campers are arriving.
(A mine-cart flies out of one of the three openings, crashes into the opposite wall, and lands on its side. Out crawl Izzy and Noah)
Izzy: What are they doing h- - -
Chris: Shush! You'll find out when everyone shows up.
(Barely a second later, Courtney runs out of another tunnel, followed by Blake. They've gotten all the slime off of them)
Courtney: We made it! Not quite first, but at least we're not last. Hang on, what are they doing h- - -
Chris: Zip it.
(Courtney opens her mouth to protest, but decides against it. The campers sit around, bored, for several hours. Eventually Zeke comes out of the third tunnel)
Ezekiel: That was crazy, eh! I kept fallin' off ledges and stuff until my head had more bumps on it than a porcupine with all its quills pulled out.
Chris: Yadda yadda. You're not a fan-favorite, so no one cares about your misfortunes. Anyways, all of us are here now, and I've got an announcement to make. Cody is joining the game!
Everyone but Chris: WHAT?!
Chris: You heard me.
Heather: Then what am I here for?
Chris: Because you're annoying, so I'll take any excuse to tie you to a chair.
Heather: Is it me, or do you get insaner every season?
Chris: Don't be ridiculous, I've been insane my entire life.
Izzy: Not as insane as Izzy!
Chris: Yes, no one can be as insane as Izzy.
Cody: Er, can you untie me now?
(Chris claps his hands)
Chris: Oh Chef!
(Chef walks out of another cave. He unties Heather and throws her through a hole in the cave ceiling, where she flies through the air, past the cabins, and lands in the Chute of Shame to go back to Underground Playa des Losers. Then he unties Cody and throws him at Courtney)
Chris: Cody joining was the twist, see?
Noah: You're just desperate for enough episodes, aren't you?
Chris: Maybe. So, the second part of the challenge is to get back out! You can't use the three tunnels you came in with, only the ones behind us. These aren't all straight tunnels, there are many branches, intersections, secret passageways, cliffs, drops, and the like. If you get lost, you'll probably die. And let's face it, you're all gonna get lost!
Cody: Do I really have to be back here?
Chris: No, we can have an anonymous person secretly assassinate you, but this seemed like it'd be easier. Izzy and Noag both get a five-minute head start. Cody can leave with Courtney, and Blake and Ezekiel are five minutes behind them. Last one out is eliminated!
(As Cody gulps, everyone runs off into the tunnels at their respective times)
(Scene switches to Ezekiel, who has found his way into a gigantic cavern. The place is so impossibly huge that there's a large underground lake in the middle, barely taking up half the space. He walks around the lake slowly, when he notices a small boat paddling around in it. Hiding behind a stalagmite, he watches the creature in it row. Its skin is white, its eyes a glowing blue, and it wears only a loincloth. He hears it talking to itself)
?: My precious, my precious. We likes the precious, we does! We kills those who no likes precious. And also those that likes it too muches! Hee hee, Gollum Gollum.
(Zeke steps out from behind the rock)
Ezekiel: No fair, eh! I'm supposed to be Gollum soometimes, how can you be too?
(Gollum stares at him and jumps on shore)
Gollum: Hobbitses dares to imitates Sméagol?!
Ezekiel: I'm not a hobbit, eh, I'm a Zeke!
Gollum: Zekeses dares to imitates Sméagol?
Ezekiel: Purty much, a'yup!
Gollum: Sméagol kills!
(The wretched creature tackles Zeke and starts strangling him. Then he drags the Canadian over to a giant and deep hole and throws him in)
Ezekiel: I woonder what Gollum would be like if he toured the world in a plane. Oh. Right.
Cody: And I'm stuck in the world's worst competition again. On the bright side, Sierra isn't here.
End of Confessionals
(Cody is in a tunnel with subway tracks. He passes an old abandoned station and climbs up into it. Going up the stairs that would normally lead outside, he finds himself next to a tiny, downwards-sloping tunnel. Shrugging, he crawls inside, but the surface slippery and he slides down, totally out of control. The tunnel zooms up and down, left and right, back and forth, and everywhere at once. The ride ends abruptly as he pops out of a hole in the wall of a narrow ravine. The candy-lover falls and lands on Izzy)
Izzy: Hi Cody! How's it going?
Izzy: Glad to hear it. This canyon is a dead end, but not for long!
(She takes a few sticks of TNT out of her pocket, sets them on the ground, and lights a match)
Cody: You're going to blow us all up!
Izzy: That's the point!
(She lights the dynamite and it explodes, harming neither them nor the surrounding wall. Then the right side of the canyon collapses and buries Cody)
Cody: [as he is pulled out by Izzy] Just my luck.
Izzy: Well we're lucky now, the gap opens up to daylight!
(Sure enough, far above them is a tiny slit of light. Izzy pulls a rope, carabiners, and ATCs out of her bra, and sets them up)
Cody: You don't expect us to climb that, do you?
Izzy: I'll climb. You get to fly!
(She ties one end on the rope to him and pulls hard on the other. The carabiner at the top acts as a pulley, and Cody is yanked high into the air, eventually colliding with the cave ceiling. He crawls through the opening, and Izzy climbs up and joins him. They're standing near the waterfall on the island. An intern notices them, and soon enough, Chris is there)
Chris: Lookie who the first two back are! You're both safe for another day. And since Cody was the first one out, he gets a reward, to be revealed later.
Izzy: Yay! Now we have to hope Noah gets out.
Cody: And Courtney doesn't.
(Back inside the cave, Noah is in a brick passage lit by torches when he spots Courtney ahead. She's lying on the ground, clutching her ankle, and grimacing in pain)
Courtney: Noah! Help me! I've sprained my ankle.
Noah: So you have, have you? Didn't you abandon your own boyfriend in TDI when he sprained his?
Courtney: Well, Duncan's nothing but an ogre. He deserved to have it happen to him!
Noah: And you don't?
Courtney: Just let me lean on your shoulder or something!
(He helps her up and supports her as they make their way down the tunnel. It turns back to rock, with a steep drop-off on the right)
Courtney: It's funny.
Courtney: You actually think I sprained my ankle.
Noah: Wait, are you saying you...uh oh.
(She shoves him over the edge)
Courtney: Haha, sucker! Like I'd ever need your help. This is all me, myself, I, and a million dollars.
(Realizing she's practically talking to herself, she continues walking. Eventually the path turns into the canyon Izzy and Cody escaped through, and she spots their climbing rope. With lots of effort and even more patience, she struggles up the wall and makes it to the top, exiting to find that Chris, Izzy, and Cody are all still there)
Chris: Looks like another camper has joined us. Someone was a little devious, eh?
Courtney: You bet.
Chris: Only Noah, Blake, and the freaky prairie guy are left! One of them is about to end their time on the show.
(Blake, meanwhile, had unknowingly wandered in tunnels that wrapped around the island and passed by Underground Playa des Losers. Unfortunately for him, the route he took led out into the old Aftermath Tunnel. From there he followed that tunnel, which Mike, Zoey, Izzy, and Mr. Coconut had taken to the first aftermath of the season. He slid down a slope and fell into a lake, went through another tunnel, crawled around an inner rim on a volcano, passed through yet another tunnel and then a room full of giant crystals. From there he floated down the underground river, falls down the waterfall, drifted into the geyser and was blasted up into the Aftermath studio)
(After he runs into Bridgette, Blaineley, and Geoff, the three explain he is WAY off course. So he takes a taxi to the nearest shipping docks, and boards a boat headed to the island)
(Scene switch. Noah is lying on the dirt floor at the bottom of the cliff Courtney pushed him off. His lips are bleeding, his limbs are bruised, his head throbs, and unlike Courtney, his ankle actually is sprained)
Noah: [darkly] Courtney. What a [bleeped out]. Heather did stuff far less than this to me, and look what happened to her. Oh, Courtney honey, you're going down. Ha ha. You are going to pay sooooo much. I can almost taste it. Ha ha.
(He looks forward and notices a ramp leading up with light at the end)
Noah: Well, well, well. If it isn't the exit.
(Standing up carefully, he puts all his weight on his good ankle. Shuffling forward slowly, the sarcastic genius makes his way outside, where the others are waiting)
Chris: Who do you we have here, huh? Noah!
Noah: Shut up Chris. I would've been here sooner, if it weren't for a certain evil someone.
(He glares at Courtney)
Courtney: [feigning innocence] Me? What did I do?
(The bookworm snarls and jumps at her. Izzy has to hold him back)
Noah: [to the redhead] GET OFF OF ME!
(He breaks free from her grip and heads angrily back to camp, pausing only to punch Chris in the ribs)
Chris: Ow! Touchy.
Cody: Don't worry, he's not as bad as Sierra. Yet.
Noah: No comment.
Chris: What'd I ever do to him? I mean, besides torture him, embarrass him, humiliate him, annoy him, almost kill him several times, and the like. But that's no reason to hate on a guy!
End of Confessionals
(Ezekiel continues falling in the pit Gollum pushed him into for a long time. His neck still aches from being half-strangled. After a while, he splashed into a lava pit and sunk through, continuing to fall on the other side. Gravity was now against him, but momentum kept him going. After another forever, he pops out of a hole on the other side, startling a person nearby)
Ezekiel: Where am I, eh?
Rabdom Guy: In China. Duh.
Ezekiel: Oops, this isn't Wawanakwa, yo. Back I go!
(He jumps into the hole and repeats the process. His momentum is so great this time he crashes through the cave roof, much to Gollum's amazement. The Canadian idiot soars high into the sky, before falling back down and into the rift Izzy and Cody escaped from. Zeke bounces off the walls like a pinball and ends up where Noah fell. Getting up, he heads for the exit)
(Outside, Chris is watching two screens while Izzy, Courtney, and Cody are clustered around behind him. Noah hasn't returned. One screen shows Blake, on the boat he rented, which is now very near the island. The other shows Zeke as he jogs up the stone ramp to the exit)
Courtney: Why is Blake in the middle of the ocean?! How do you get there from a cave?!
(The host shrugs)
Chris: It's gonna be close...
(Ezekiel comes into sight as he runs towards them)
Cody: Oh yeah, Zeke's got it in the bag!
(When the homeschooler is two or three steps away, the psycho squirrel jumps out a nearby tree and starts mauling Ezekiel for the umpteenth time)
Izzy: You stupid squirrel, no one messes with Izzy's friends!
(She lights a stick of dynamite and throws it. The TNT hits the creature, detonates, and the squirrel is exploded into a million pieces. Needless to say, it won't be bothering Zeke anymore. Speaking of the prairie boy, the blast knocks him backwards into the tunnel. He rolls over and starts crawling his way on)
Izzy: Hurry up Zeke, you got this!
(Half a second before he reaches the end, Blake steps off the boat onto the Dock of Shame)
Blake: I'm back!
Ezekiel: NOOOOO, EEEEEHHHH!
Chris: Sorry Zeke, it's Chute of Shame time for you. Look on the bright side; sixth place is better than last!
Ezekiel: You think I lost, wot? Zeke never loses! I'll be back, sucker, I'll be back! A'yup!
(He runs into the woods screaming)
Chris: [face-palming] Zeke, you idiot. If this turns into another World Tour, I swear I'll throw myself off the cliff.
Courtney: Well, aren't you going to go get him?!
Chris: Nay, maybe later.
Courtney: Urgh! Doesn't anything work the way it's supposed to in this stupid game?
Chris: Not really.
Chris: It's not my fault insanity is the fifth element!
Courtney: Have I ever told you how much I hate Ezekiel?
(The camera nods yes)
Courtney: Well I'm telling you again. I HATE HIM!
Ezekiel: Hah, the confession cam! Anyways, no matter wot Chris says, I'm not leavin', eh. Last time I woos stoopid and just stowed away. This time Oi'm playin' the game, and no one can stop me! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
End of Confessionals
(The scene is the dining hall, where Cody is being given his reward for winning the challenge)
Cody: So, what exactly did I win?
Chef: A Mexican buffet.
(He pulls a sheet off of a table to reveal an army of tacos, burritos, quesadillas, enchiladas, and the like)
Cody: [grimacing] Ugh, I hate Mexican food. Spicy stuff is just not for me.
Chef: Well then you'll love this, 'cause all of it's got my extra-times-a-million-spicy sauce.
Cody: Um, is it okay if I don't eat this?
Chef: No! I worked hard cookin' this, ya ungrateful little brat. Now sit down and eat!
(He ties Cody to a chair and force-feeds him everything while the geek screams in terror)
(Scene goes to Underground Playa des Losers. A note pops out of the Chute of Shame and lands in the pool)
Lightning: Sha-what's that?
Mike: No clue.
Heather: Well read it, morons!
(Dawn fishes it out of the water, unrolls it, and reads it aloud)
Dawn: Dear Annoyances, Chris here. Today we eliminated Freakzekiel, but he ran screaming into the woods like the weirdo he is. Therefore, he won't be joining you. So yeah. That's all. Chris out!
Annette: That does kind of sound like something Zeke would do.
Dawn: Sigh. I always knew Zeke would end up getting eliminated in some crazy way.
Owen: Typical Ezekiel.
(Back aboveground, Noah is tossing and turning angrily in his bunk)
Noah: [talking to himself] They're all bozos. I despise them all. Chef and Chris, don't even get me started on them! Then there's Courtney, that conniving rat. And Cody, the weird pervert. I used to dislike Blake, I don't know why I've been so soft lately. He's an idiot! And Izzy, [his face saddens] well I'll admit it. I used to have a crush on her. Heck, I was totally falling for her. But screw that. She's way too insane, anyway. No, I won't show mercy to them. I always planned to win, but now I plan to pulverize! They'll all go down! EVERY LAST ONE!
(Screen cuts to Chris at the Dock of Shame)
Chris: Oh boy, and just when Izzy and Noah were getting closer. Haha! Will Nizzy ever happen? Will Noah and Courtney make amends or battle it out till the end? Will Cody being here shake things up? And what is Zeke going to do next? You'll see, soon, on TOTAL, DRAMA, THE ISLAND REBORN!
Eliminated: Zoey, Mr. Coconut, Owen, Heather, Lightning, Dawn, Staci, Mike, Annette, Ezekiel
Remaining Campers: Blake, Cody, Courtney, Izzy, Noah
Idiots Who Think They're Still In The Game: Ezekiel
Looks we finally got ourselves an antagonist. About time. So, any predictions? Bet you weren't expecting today's elimination! And I know Cody didn't do much; he'll have a much bigger role in future episodes. Leave a review, the poll for who you want to win is still up, and thanks for reading!
Next Time: In a dramatic reward challenge, Noah and Courtney are more aggressive than ever, Izzy is depressed, and Zeke keeps trying to compete in the challenge, much to Chris' chagrin.