Disclaimer: In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did. And I still don't know who owns the rights to Clueless, but it certainly isn't me.
Authors Note: Props go to my friend Sophie Cinders for helping me with ideas and phrasing. She also helped with last chapter, I just forgot to credit her then. For future reference, I am feeling extremely guilty that I have not updated in so long, which is why there have been these three admittedly short chapters so fast. I am not sure that I will be able to find the time to write this much this fast in the future. School makes things VERY difficult. That said, as promised, below is Chapter six of A Clueless Cousin.
After a wonderful two days simply reacquainting himself with Hogsmede and his family after being away since last summer, Harry went with Chrisn and Minerva to Diagon Alley to pick up school supplies. He still still couldn't believe that he was going to Hogwarts. After they collected everything Minerva had some business at the bank, and left them with some spare change. Of course they headed straight for Florean Fortescue's.
"You know Harry, this is the opposite of how it usually is," Chris said absentmindedly as he licked his ice cream cone.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow. Or, at least he tried to raise his eyebrow. It looked more like a face twitch. His Uncle Mel did it much better.
"Well I just mean that you are usually with Cher in California and leaving me in Scotland to learn with all of these Brits. However, now you are going to Hogwarts with me, and Cher has to learn with spoiled California girls."
"True enough. But Cher can handle them."
"Of course she can. She's Cher!" They laughed in unison, and Harry reflected on the fact that as much as he missed Cher, was good to see Christian in person instead of just his face in a mirror.
Harry and Chris thought it ridiculous, that even though they were living in Hogsmede, Minerva and Phin insisted that the boys take the train to Hogwarts. Some sort of tradition apparently. So they begrudgingly got up and flooed to the Leaky Cauldron to take a muggle cab to King's Cross.
They got onto the platform all right and Phin gave them each a hug.
"I'll come and see you sometime. After all students under third year really aren't supposed to go into Hogsmede," he told them with a wink.
"Honestly Phin, don't encourage them!" Minerva scolded.
"You know you would too if you didn't have to be the proper Professor all the time love."
"Well that may very well be; however, that isn't really the point at the moment now is it?"
Harry and Chris rolled their eyes at the blatant flirting their elderly family members where exhibiting.
Seeming to have eyes in the back of her head, Minerva turned to face the boys and they immidiately straighted up.
"Now you too, behave yourselves, and don't go expecting any special treatment just because you are family."
"Of course not," Chris mocked looking hurt.
"We would never dream of it," Harry added with a similar expression on his face.
"You wound us-"
"With your assumptions. When-"
"Have we ever-"
"Just get on the train you miscreants before you give Minnie a heart attack," Phin laughed.
"Just one thing," Christian's eyes sparkled with mischief.
"You're not our Professor yet right?" Harry asked psuedo-innocently.
"Yes," Minerva answered warily.
"Goodbye Mum!" Christian tackled her with a hug and a kiss on the cheak before sprinting off. Harry repeated this with a "Bye Aunt Minnie, see you at the feast!" The two of them left a startled Minerva, a cackling Phin, and several shocked Senior Hogwarts students.
This included the Weasley family who had seen the tail end of this interaction, all with mixed results. Molly looked on with disapproval. Arthur was holding in laughter. Charlie was shocked and amused. Percy was indignant that someone would address a Professor as such. The twins were in awe. Ron wasn't paying much attention, and Ginny was thinking that the two boys were awfully cute, all the while lamenting her inability to enter Hogwarts for another two years.
Chris and Harry high-fived one another as they settled into their compartment.
"You know Aunt Minnie is going to be pissed at us right?"
"Eh, Mum will get over it, she always does."
"We should be careful, or she will give us detention, and with someone else so that it isn't favoritism."
"True enough. As long as it isn't Filch or Snape. Filch is downright nasty and Snape still hasn't gotten over me asking whether or not he even knew what shampoo was and that happened ages ago."
"Chris that was three months ago. Actually, every three months for the past five years. I should've thought you would learn by now."
"I did learn. I learned it was fun."
"Dude you're crazy."
"Yeah well you're jealous."
"Jealous of what? Your insanity?"
"Well I would call it-"
There was a knock on the compartment door. Harry opened it to find a pair of redheaded twins.
"We're the Weasley Twins."
"So then Chris said-"
"That's not my hand," Christian supplemented.
"And she freaked out like nobody's business I'm talking-"
"Let me tell you about the time we transfigured Ron's teddybear into a spider-"
"Honestly I never seen Jasmine laugh as much as when Dionne and Cher got into her self applying makeup!"
"The blue didn't come out of their hair for weeks!"
"But seriously never piss Ginny off. That bat bogey curse hurts like a mother-"
"Fred not in front of the children!"
"Hey I'm not-"
"Doesn't matter Christian, McGonagall is your mother. We're not going there," George cut him off.
"Would you look at that-"
"Time to get off the train!"
"Our apprentices need-"
"To go see Hagrid."
"You have Slytherin minds-"
"But they'll work better for you in Gryffindor."
Authors Note 2: Reviews are very appreciated, they are the only reason that I have decided to continue with this story after all!
On February 16th: In 1923 Howard Carter unsealed the burial chamber of Pharaoh Tutankhamun. In addition one of my favorite authors, Maureen Johnson, is celebrating her 41st birthday today.