54This is Fagan. After I've written this, I can successfully say that I've poisoned the Hetalia Archives. Female Germany/Male Italy is the main couple. If you don't like pregnancy fanfictions, I suggest you leave now.
"I'll kill you!" Germany screamed, flying out of the bathroom and beginning to beat her fists against Italy's shoulder, causing him to cry out in pain.
"Ow! Please don't hurt me, Germany, I'm just a poor virgin!" he cried, trying to shield himself from the barrage of attacks. Upon hearing that, Germany only sped up her beatings.
"A virgin?! You know very well that you're not! You're the reason that I'm...I'm..."
"Pregnant?" Italy said, filling in the blank. It had been the wrong thing to say. Germany's eyes flashed dangerously as she delivered a swift kick to Italy's crotch.
"That's what you get! Maybe now your stupid seeds won't be spread anymore!" she shrieked, her long, blonde hair almost swirling in the air, much like Medusa's, "How could you do this to me?! You told me you used protection!" she began to kick him in the ribs, "You told me you used protection!" Italy tried to yell for help, but he was too busy choking on his own blood, "Now thanks to you, I'm going to be the laughing-stock of the Axis! Do you even care?! Are you even listening?!" Germany was in a rage like never before. Her blood surged through her ears, sounding much like the ocean waves. She was so angry, she felt like grabbing Italy around the throat and squeezing...squeezing...
"G-Germany-" Italy spluttered, trying to wriggle away from his furious partner, who in turn threw the plastic pregnancy test across the room. It hit the opposite wall and broke in half, leaving a small dent in the wall, "Germany, please let me up! Please! Please! The smell of my blood is making me nauseous!"
Italy couldn't have chosen a worse time to say that particular phrase.
"Oh yeah?! Well, your stupid Italian baby is making me nauseous! Did you ever think of that?!"
"Germany, how am I supposed to think when you're trying to kill me?!" Germany froze for a moment, before her eyes welled up with tears. Italy sensed that the force she had been applying had lessened, and took this as an opportunity to escape.
"I-I'm sorry, I-Italia..." Germany said, tears steadily beginning to plop from her cheeks falling towards the kitchen tiles, "I-I-I'm so sorry..." Italy, who was quite unnerved by this sudden change in attitude, tried his best to comfort the distraught female.
"There there, Germany. It'll be okay, you'll see! Hey, look at it this way! You'll have a new country to add to the Axis in a few months, eh?" Germany began to sob, her broad shoulders wracking back and forth. "Oh no, don't cry Germany!"
"But I don't want to have a baby!" she cried, beating her fists weakly against Italy's chest, "I'm not mother material! I'm a total sadist! Mothers aren't supposed to enjoy torturing other people!" Italy stared at his friend warily. He wasn't quite sure how to respond to that.
"Don't say that! Of course you're Mommy material! Everyone is!"
"Besides, the baby would hate me! Who doesn't hate me?! I hate me!" Italy was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed. After all, Germany was always strong and angry. He wasn't used to seeing her more...emotional side. Even during the sex, she had been...well, a bit indifferent. Except when she had reached orgasm; Germany had become an entirely different woman then.
"Don't you think dirty thoughts about me, Italia!" she snapped suddenly, yanking on his curl with a sharp tug. Italy yelped and jerked forward, his eyes stinging with tears.
"How did you know I was thinking bad thoughts?!" he cried, desperately trying to free himself from Germany's iron-grasp.
"Because you get that stupid grin on your face! It's disgraceful! It's shameful!"
"At least I don't watch porn!"
"You idiot! You have been spying on me! You creep!"
"Closet pervert!"
At that remark, Germany tried to yank out Italy's curl.
"Silence," she hissed, her brow darkening and her face flashing with pure evil, "Never say that again. Especially now that I'm supposed to be a role model to someone," she said, slumping in a kitchen chair and giving a depressed sigh, "I can't believe the fucking mess I've gotten myself into."
"Yo West! It's your awesome older brother! What's this about a mess?"
The side door which was connected to the garage opened and in walked Germany's big brother, Prussia. With a speed that would've made Speed Racer himself proud, Germany gathered the shattered pregnancy test and threw her golden locks over her shoulder, cool as a cucumber.
"Mess? I didn't say anything about a mess. Get your hearing checked already, will you? You're driving me insane. By the way, where were you?" she snapped, handing the plastic shards to Italy, who threw them into the bathroom trash can with a nonchalant movement that suggested nothing out of the ordinary.
"I was supposed to go drinking with that Hungary chick, but she cancelled last minute," he grumbled, walking to the fridge and grabbing a beer can.
"Hmph. Good for her," Germany said, in a bad mood again, "The last thing she needs is to wake up naked next to you."
Prussia feigned distress. He clutched at his chest and winced mockingly.
"Yikes. Ouch. Who put that bug up your butt, West?"
With a snarl, Germany stomped from the kitchen and up the stairs to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Italy stared after her, wondering whether or not he should follow. But upon hearing the shriek of anger that came from her bedroom, he was sure he had made the right choice to stay behind.
Thank you to Anastasia Dove for Beta-Reading this! It really means a lot to me.
That probably was the worst thing you've ever read. I do apologize. But I would appreciate it if you would read the next chapter and possibly leave a review?
Sincerely,
SausageMahoney98/Fagan