Chapter One

Kagome

It was cold with her window opened, but Kagome Higarashi made no move to close it. As a matter of fact, she made no movements at all. The only thing that showed her to still be alive was the slight rise and fall of her chest. She stared up at her ceiling, the night casting shadows across the walls.

"What were you thinking, Inuyasha?" A puzzled Kagome asked the quiet hanyou.

"Not really anything. Just thinking about the textures of your wall."

Kagome laughed. "You're so silly, Inuyasha."

The memory came quickly, too fast for Kagome to block it out. Already tears stung behind her tightly closed eyes as she sucked in a painfully sharp breath. It hurt. Goodness, it hurt. His face…those eyes…those beautiful golden brown eyes that she could stare into forever. His smile…a rare beauty that so few ever saw. His mouth…she had kissed that mouth…

"No." Kagome whimpered, digging her nails into her skin as she curled into a tight ball. "Na…Inuyasha. Come back. Come back." Her eyes snapped open, her breathing labored from the effort it took to let the air in and out from her body.

Slowly, she stood up, deciding to go downstairs for a drink of water, pausing to stop by her mirror to glance at her reflection.

The blue eyes that stared back at her were empty, completely shielded from the rest of the world. No one could see her real thoughts, her real feelings. Not even Kagome herself always knew. She spent most of her time trying not to feel…not to think…especially not to miss.

Kagome took in a deep breath, shaking slightly, as she tried to rearrange her features into a smile. She wasn't sure that it didn't resemble a grimace instead. Real smiles were hard to come by these days but Kagome tried her best. She didn't want anyone to see that on the inside she was a broken mess, just a shell of the girl she used to be. And it was all her fault. She had said her goodbyes. Protected herself from rejection….though she shouldn't have.

And she shouldn't have fallen in love…

Kagome quickly shook her head. Thoughts like that were what would get her in trouble. Quickly, she left the room and (hopefully) the thoughts behind her.

Tears were shed in the shower only. Because, everyone knew, tears in the shower didn't count.

"What? Why are you doing that? You're…You're not crying, are you?"

The memory hit her hard, the small conversation Inuyasha had said to her. Kagome bit down hard on her teeth to keep the small whimper from escaping her lips. He hated it when she cried. The memories always came at the worse moments, and tonight was no different. Would they never leave her in peace? Yes, he was a Guardian…a hanyou….she a normal human. But…now he was gone.

Before, Inuyasha had always come to save her at the last minute. But this time, Kagome had to protect herself…alone.

Monsters….demons…. the Diethelm, the name actually given to a hilltop building that rose three levels and homed people who weren't exactly…human.

It was said that the Diethelm were unclean, a disease needed to be washed out. The attendants called themselves Guardians; a name feared enough to keep most of the town locked safely behind their closed doors at night. But mostly they were called demons or hanyou, for a rare few. Stories were told in hushed whispers about the Guardians, how they were incapable of any act of mercy or kindness, devoid of any amount of love.

For years, their Mayor, Naraku, had been trying to shut it down, with little to no success. Anyone who suspected someone to be a Guardian was to immediately report it. In Kagome's mind, it was a lot like when people accused others of being a witch simply for wearing a red ribbon. Naruko had informed them that the Guardians were dangerous and would kill anyone they came into contact with at their first chance. Least no one would report them then, Kagome had thought.

Everything they had to do was for their protection. Everything they did and could do had already been planned for them.

"Are you ready yet, Kagome?" The male asked from the bottom of the stairs.

"In a minute." Kagome called out as she brushed back her raven colored hair. The dark brown eyes that stared back at her were empty, completely shielded from the rest of the world. No one could see her real thoughts, her real feelings. Not even Kagome herself always knew. She spent most of her time trying not to feel…not to think…especially not to miss.

Kagome took in a deep breath, shaking slightly, as she tried to rearrange her features into a smile. She wasn't sure that it didn't resemble a grimace instead. Real smiles were hard to come by these days but Kagome tried her best. She didn't want anyone to see that on the inside she was a broken mess, just a shell of the girl she used to be. And it was all her fault. She had said her goodbyes, the jewel purified, and the well closed. And in all logic, she shouldn't have been able to do any of that at all. She had spent three years in the feudal era, and it had been three years since she had left and came back home. She shouldn't have been able to travel five hundred years in the past, and fight demons, almost getting killed a thousand and one times.

And she shouldn't have fallen in love…

Kagome quickly shook her head. Thoughts like that were what would get her in trouble. Quickly, she left the room and (hopefully) the thoughts behind her.

"Kagome." The male who had spoken earlier, her fiancé Donavan Grey, greeted her as she came downstairs. "Finally. Took you long enough. " He grunted.

In a way, Kagome was glad that Donavan was there. His personality was one that made sure she didn't think for too long. Though, in truth, he could also give her a major headache and sometimes she just felt like screaming at him. But he gave her someone else to focus on than…

She took a deep breath again, and tried to focus her attention on the male in front of her. She had to be careful of upsetting him. For the past three years, since Kagome's daughter, Kila, had been born, Donavan had taken to hitting her where it wouldn't show. Arms, legs, back…they were fair game. But at least her face was off limits. Most of the time. There were a few times when Donavan would come home, stumbling drunk, and swipe at her face, leaving an angry red mark which she would cover with makeup so no one would know.

If you had asked anyone six years ago if Kagome Higarashi would stand there and cower while taking a beating, they would have said no. They would have laughed and told the questioner that Kagome was a fighter, not someone who cried silently.

But Kagome stayed with him. Why? Because she wasn't at the shrine anymore. Because she was far, far away from her family, friends and everyone she ever knew. Because she had her daughter to protect, and Donavan had once hit her. Kagome shivered just thinking about it. She had come home from work one day, to find Kila cowering in the living room corner, while Donavan loomed above her, his fist raised. An ugly purple and blue bruise was just above Kila's cheek.

"Get away from my daughter!" Kagome yelled angrily, snatching Kila up in her arms.

That had been the only time Kagome had yelled at Donavan. He had made sure she didn't again. Tears were shed in the shower only. Because, everyone knew, tears in the shower didn't count.

"What? Why are you doing that? You're…You're not crying, are you?"

The memory hit her hard, the small conversation Inuyasha had said to her when they had first received his father's sword, and were trying to fight his half-brother Sesshomaru. Kagome bit down hard on her teeth to keep the small whimper from escaping her lips. He hated it when she cried. The memories always came at the worse moments, and tonight was no different. Though no one would know what made this night so different than others, Kagome would. Tonight was the new moon, and she usually tried to stay at home at all costs. Or at least, stay alone with Kila.

Kagome looked over at her small, three year old daughter. What a blessing she was to Kagome. When she first came back through the well, that very first day, she had watched Inuyasha disappear. After moving out of the comfort of her mother's arms, Kagome had gone to her room to collapse on her bed. Sometime later, she had heard loud shouting, the sound of something falling and hitting the floor. Confused, and worried, Kagome had sat up in bed. Before her feet could touch the floor though, her door opened and her Mom had walked in.

"Mama? What was that noise?" Kagome had asked.

"Noise? I didn't hear anything, dear." Her Mom had said, smiling, handing her daughter a cup of tea. "Here, this will soothe your nerves. More sleep will help you."

Kagome had obeyed, but the drink had made her so sleepy that she was out within seconds. All she felt was a few frantic seconds were her body tensed up and then she couldn't move. When she was woke up, it was dark and she was being carried away in someone's arms. A few seconds later, Kagome realized that the house behind her was her own, and it was up in flames.

"Mama! Sota! Grandpa!" She began yelling, kicking her legs and arms.

"Kagome! Calm down!" The commanding male voice above her belonged to Donavan Grey, one of her fellow classmates who she never really talked to, and knew even less about.

"Put me down!" She yelled, tears in her eyes.

"Kagome! Listen to me! They're gone! You have to let them go!"

Kagome couldn't make sense of what was happening. All she knew was that she was soaked and shivering and cold from the rain that had started while he had carried her out. Her clothes were taken off. Had she done that? Or someone else? Something warm and soft was wrapped around her, bathing her in its warmth. Then Donavan came back.

"You'll stay with me, Kagome. You have nowhere else to go, and I can take care of you." Why couldn't she answer? She should say no. She was only 18, after all. Donavan was already 20. That wouldn't be right. He was acting strangely too. His clothes were off.

"N-no."She tried to say through her unmoving lips. But he wasn't listening, was already on top of her, already hurting her. Until Kagome had nothing more he could take.

Kagome blinked. Nine months later, Kila had came. And Kagome loved her more than anything in the world. Donavan had insisted they get married, but Kagome had said they couldn't afford one. So they waited….and Kagome was going to keep waiting too, as long as she could.

How many times had she wished that HE would walk through the door and demand that she return immediately? He would sound so gruff and would grab her arm. But Kagome knew that beneath his rough exterior, he really cared. He might not bring her flowers and candy, or take her to the movies and write love poems, but there would never be any other guy who could replace him in her heart. He protected her, shielded her from the bad things in the world, and she did the same for him. He was gentle when he let his guard down…a pain in her butt when he didn't. But those things are what made him Inuyasha. And Kagome hoped he never changed.

"Kagome? What's that white stuff you're putting on your skin?"

Kagome laughed at the hanyou. "It's called sunscreen, Inuyasha. You wear it to protect your skin from the sun."

"The sun? Why would you need to protect your skin? Your eyes, maybe…but, your skin?"

Again, Kagome laughed. "Because the sun can burn your skin and make it really red and then it will start to peel." The outrageous look on Inuyasha's face had her laughing out loud again and then trying to smear some of the sunscreen on him.

"No way! Kagome! Get off!" Inuyasha yelled, as he tried to push her away, but Kagome already had him pinned down and had smeared a glob of the sunscreen on his nose.

Happy. That was what she was. Happy. Because he made her that way. Without even realizing that he did, Inuyasha completed her in a way that even Kagome herself, didn't fully understand.

And now he was gone. Picking up Kila, Kagome gave a wan smile to Donavan. "I apologize for making you wait. We can go now."

Before, Inuyasha had always come to save her at the last minute. But this time, Kagome had to protect her daughter and herself…alone.

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