I made up this random fanfiction at around 4:00 AM.

Feedback requested and recommended.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything that appears in this fanfiction except for... uhm... the plot?

I'll quit it here.

**Insert Awesome Title Here**


I couldn't find a good title, so I just used that.


This is a story about after the end and returned to the Orphans' Shack.

With the Quagmires.

And the other students we've come to know and hate/love.

Chapter One: **Insert chapter heading here**

Snicket: **sits down at typewriter after carefully glancing over his shoulder** Now, I am free to continue with the sad, unfortunate history of the Baudelaire childern.

Me: Up. Now.

Snicket: But... This is my typewriter.

Me: Do I look like I care whose typewriter that is? I have a story to finish for you! And you just sit down like you own the thing.

Snicket: But... I do own the-

Me: Allow me to spell it out for you. **goes over to recently conjured up chalkboard and writes out the words I DON'T CARE in gigantic letters** Now, get out of the spinny chair before I send it flying into that black hole.

Snicket: What black hole?

Me: **points across room** That black hole.

Snicket: Oh. **starts to get up, but it's too slow for my taste, so I shove him into the black hole and watch as he falls**

Me: Bye! **sits down in spinny chair and turns a few times, just for the fun of it before positioning fingers over keys**


Klaus was sitting on the bed, eagerly describing an interesting plant he'd seen to anyone who would listen. Finally Sunny yelled "Akgrubah, muchenstem!" which probably meant something along the lines of "Nobody cares, Klaus!" Isadora, who was tapping her feet against the wall as she gazed up at Klaus, smiled happily. She cared, even if no one else did.

Duncan ran in, being chased by Quigley, who was shouting for him to put the book down that instant.

"Duncan Quagmire!" Isadora snapped. "What are you doing with my notebook?" She leapt forward with surprising haste, hitting his knees in fine fashion. Duncan hit the ground, still clinging to the notebook as tightly as he could.

"Isadora Quagmire!" Duncan yelled. "Who is this couplet about?"

A fire is lit in me when he looks my way

He leaves my thoughts in complete disarray.


I screamed violently, launching for my notebook.


Me: **feverishly writes in a truck barrelling by to avoid writing what she calls Duncan**

Isadora: Why did you do that? I wanted him to hear it. **glares at Duncan**

Me: I'm trying to keep this a K-K+ rating, Iz. If you'd like it to be a M-rated-

Isadora: No.


Me: Duncan, if you're not careful, I'll make you get struck by lightning, which- Ooh, I like that idea!

Duncan: What idea? **thinks**

Me: **crumples previous manuscript** This is no good at all!

**beginning of new manuscript**

Duncan runs across the floor of my office, leaping into the black hole I pushed Snicket into at the beginning of the previous story.

Duncan: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why are you killing me? I'm the likable triplet!

Me: I never said I was killing you. Now, unless you would like to be killed, I suggest that you quit giving me ideas.

Isadora: Hey, can you write the rest of us in, now? We're kind of bored in this empty room of nothingness.

Me: Patience, Iz.

Isadora: **grudgingly nods** Fine.

Me: **writes in Sunny and Violet**

Sunny, in a daring leap far beyond her should-be capabilities, leaped across to the black hole, turning a back flip in the air and performing a perfect nosedive into the sea of blackness, into which Duncan had disappeared a while ago.

Violet dashes after her, calling for her and trying to catch Sunny before she flies into the black hole. Quigley tackles her, preventing her from jumping into the black hole after Sunny.

"Quigley!" Klaus shouts at him. "I've got a song for you!"

"What is it?" Quigley asks, keeping a firm hold on Violet's arm.

"Stay away from my sister, otherwise I may have to hurt you, stay awaaaaaay!" he sings.

"SUNNY!" Violet pries Quigley's hand away from her wrist and dives into the black hole to save her sister.

Quigley tries to dive after her, but Klaus tackles him. Isadora runs out and tries to pry the two apart and talk some sense into-

Me: **Covers ears** GUYS!

Quigley, Klaus, Isadora: **continue arguing incoherently**

Me: **snaps fingers** There! Now you are all chained to walls with duct tape covering your mouths.

Violet: **peers out of black hole** Guys... You may need to see this.

Me: Can I make them get struck by lightning, first?

Violet: No!

**creepy guy walks in**

Creepy Guy: 'Ello! My name is Count Olaf, and-

Me: No, your name is...hmm... Gummy Eyeball. Yes, that works!
Gummy Eyeball: No, it's-
Me: Gummy Eyeball!
Gummy Eyeball: Fine.
Me: **flicks finger and they come unchained from the wall, and Gummy Eyeball-
Gummy Eyeball: COUNT OLAF!
Me: Really? Who told you that? **Gummy Eyeball (DON'T YOU DARE INTERRUPT ME, GUMMY EYEBALL!) gets struck by lightning**
Violet: Okay, you three, come on!
Isadora: Gimme a minute. **starts making out with Klaus**
Me: **sees Violet's disgusted expression and flicks her finger again**
Violet: **soars out of black hole and starts making out with Quigley**
Sunny: BLUBGLUB! (Translation: Guys, this is utterly innaapropriate content for a baby!)
Violet: **makes accusing noises and gestures violently at me, including a gesticulation which seemed to threaten murder**
Quigley: **pulls away from Violet** What was it you wanted to show us?
Violet: If we can pull our siblings apart, we can go see it.
Sunny: graybabble (Translation: KLAUS! ISADORA! QUIT IT!)
Klaus and Isadora: **pull apart after I flick my finger and use the author powers** Hey, what was that for?
Me: I'm trying to keep this rated K+, which you guys are preventing.
Me: That doesn't work on them, Gummy Eyeball (No, I'm not going to stop calling you that) because I'm the author. Therefore, I control the story. And I am making you stand next to that there chalk board and write "I will not boss the author around" twenty bajillion times. So there, Gummy Eyeball.
Gummy Eyeball: But- **is interrupted by me flicking my finger and sending him over in front of the chalkboard** Bossing you is fun!
Me: It bores me. **duct tapes his mouth shut because Gummy Eyeball is irritating**
Violet: Thank you. Now y'all come on! **leaps downwards into black hole again, with Klaus and Isadora and Quigley behind her.**
Me: Wait for me! I control you! **jumps after them**
Violet walks down a long passage, the Quagmire triplets (Minus Duncan) and Klaus behind her.
"Sunny?" she calls. "I'm coming!"
Me: Writing like that is boring. I think I'll just switch back to play format. It's better.
Sunny: Blububhj! (Translation: I'm up here!) AAAAAAAAAH! (Translation: AAAAAAAAAH!)
Violet, Klaus, Quigley, and Isadora: Sunny!