I hope you all like this story, it's Rori, Bade..., and the groups friendship overall during diffiult times.
When the bombs dropped, it brought with it a cloud of destruction that ceased life beyond that moment. From that moment on life has come to a stand still, at least for me.
I remember having history class in the ninth grade, and watching a documentary about atomic bombs. The awful destruction it had done to Nagasaki and Hiroshima - a bomb had destroyed lives. I remember how scared I was and how for weeks after I had dreams of my flesh melting and my hair falling out. What had made it frightening was the fact that it could happen. It wasn't a far off notion, not at all.
It had happened.
Now here I am, eleven months after the bombs dropped. I'm weak, hungry, pale, and my hair is falling out in strands. I'm better off then most, I remind myself daily. I had been saved, not like my sister and parents and millions of others.
Sikowitz - my improve teacher from Hollywood Arts - he had apparently been preparing for this. He had a bunker and everything under his duplex. It's a tiny space for seven people but big enough for everyone to only have to share a room with one other person. It's run off a generator and smells horribly because of a septum tank malfunction last week. We have a lot of food, maybe, I'm not really sure. Only Sikowitz gets into that room with our food and water supplies.
Today is Monday, and I hardly want to get out of the cot I share with Cat. Her face is pressed into my shoulder and I couldn't get any sleep last night because of her crying. The lights are off and will be off until Sikowitz says otherwise, no wasting fuel.
My stomach grumbles and I blink my eyes open to stare blankly at the ceiling I can barely make out. Across from us someone is coughing, low, deep, and haggard, I think it's Andre but I can't be certain.
About thirty minutes later I hear shuffling and coughing and the lights are then switched on. I close my eyes and open them slowly, I watch Sikowitz move back toward the back of the bunker disappearing into a room. Sighing, I look at Robbie who is sliding over a sleeping Andre and heads to the bathroom - a hole in the floor. I get up and follow him, sparing a glance towards Beck and Jade's cot. Only Jade is awake and we lock eyes before I turn away.
I sit on a little table near the hole in the ground, as Robbie uses it. He only glances at me - modesty long gone from this place. I'm not embarrassed to see him us the bathroom, nor to see his penis. We've all seen a bit much of each other.
"He hasn't fed us in days, do you think that means he's out of food?" I ask.
Robbie finishes up. "Maybe, but it could also mean he's tired of feeding us. He's not exactly losing weight like the rest of us Tori, so he's obviously holding back." He reached for the old dusty tissue box on a shelf in the corner, pulling out a bottle of brown liquor. He takes a swig, makes a face and hands it over to me. "We all hold back something, right?"
I take it and take a swig, letting it burn my throat numbing me. Things had changed, we had changed. Being here, locked up, had brought out the worst in everyone. Awful sides of some I thought would never exist.
"What are we going to do?" I ask watching him put his drink away.
"What can we?" He gently shrugs. He then turns and leaves the bathroom and I follow a few seconds later. Andre is up, making his bed when I enter and Cat is rolling around on the cot and rubbing her eyes. Beck is up putting on his shoes, and Jade has her arms around her legs watching him, I don't like the annoyed frown already on Beck's features.
I find a chair near the thick iron door which locks us in and flip through an old book. Sikowitz's room door opens and he comes out a few jars of fruit in his hands. We all watch him silently as he gently sit's the items down on the table in the corner.
"Make it last."
Is all he has to say before turning and locking himself in his bedroom once more. No one moves for the food at first, then Robbie who is the closest grabs a jar and heads in my direction, motioning Cat over as well.
He has it open before he even takes a seat in front of me, his finger digging around in it until he grasped a piece of the mystery fruit, he then hands it over to me. I do as he had and stick the very sweet welcomed food into my mouth, handing it over to Cat.
Cat nervously glances behind her as Andre gets a jar and sits near us, leaving the last one to Beck and Jade.
"I'm sharing," Andre quietly says and I smile at him, of course he is. We take turns on who gets the most food every time we eat, it's Andre's turn, but of course he is willing to share. Not every one had changed badly with the bombs.
"No man," Robbie waves his hand. "That's all yours."
"We have to make this last!" I close my eyes tightly. "Stop eating like a fucking pig, Jade!"
"Fuck you, Beck!"
My dad had said one time that, it's always the folks who seem like they have nothing to hide with the biggest flaws. He told me the true ones self comes out when they are truly tested.
The glass jar crashes to the ground and Andre and Robbie move and pull a furious Beck away from Jade who has already been hit to the floor. Cat and I move, helping her off the floor and out of the room, away from the cursing Beck, who is still trying to get to her.
Cat and I haul her into the bathroom, like we usually do and set her on the table near the hole. Cat goes to find the first aid kit while I examine the bleeding lip.
"Jade…" I say quietly.
"Shut up, Tori." She looks tough and stubborn, but her eyes are glossy. She's going to cry.
Cat returns with the first aid kit and I got to work on the forming bruise around her mouth. No one talks during this and Robbie enters the bathroom about thirty minutes later one of the food jars in his hands.
"About another thirty minutes, girls." He tells us sadly and hands me the fruit. He then leaves. I hand it over to Jade, who takes it with shaky hands. We finish half of our jar in that thirty minutes and save the rest for later. We hang out in the bathroom, Jade allowing Cat to braid her thinning hair.
I get up after awhile and wonder out of the bathroom. Andre is distracting Beck with a card game on the one table in the room, and Robbie is sitting on his bed furiously scribbling in that notebook he won't allow anyone to touch. Someone had cleaned up the broken glass. I turned right and headed to Sikowitz's bed room door and tapped lightly on the tin door.
I don't get an answer and I'm not expecting one. I glance towards Robbie who is looking up at me, curiously.
"We need more water, Sikowitz." I say loudly. "I wanna trade out the book I got last time too."
A moment later the tin door opens a little and I catch a glimpse of a haggard looking Sikowitz. I hadn't expected a response.
"Hold up…" I begin turning to go get the book I was keeping under the bed, only to find Robbie handing it to Sikowitz through the cracked door. "Thanks," I whisper. Sikowitz takes the book, handing me three bottle of large water I hand to Robbie, then, he hands me a book and closes his door.
"He's in a wonderful mood." Robbie quietly said. I smiled at him, my first one in a while.
When night comes, Jade Cat and I all share the tiny cot, leaving Beck alone, giving him more time to cool off. It's hot tonight and I can't find a position to fall asleep, instead in the blackness of the bunker I stare at the thick door that freedom hides behind. No. It wasn't freedom behind it but it was something…
"Tori," a voice whispers making me look to my left. I can just make out Robbie nearby, standing near his bed. I slid from under the blanket and paddle quietly after him as he enters the bathroom - only lighted by a oil lamp.
As soon as I close the room's door I feel Robbie's arms wrap around my waist and his face in my neck. He breaths and I sigh, wrapping my hands around his wrists.
"What are we going to do?" I ask him. "Beck is getting worse… his temper is getting shorter. I'm worried for Jade…"
He trails kisses up and down my neck. "Let Andre and I handle Beck, don't get in it." He's changed so much in the last few months - we all have - but, with Robbie, he's changed the most out of us all besides Beck. He's so strong now, solid, without him here I would…
"But…" I begin.
"No buts, if he were to hurt you I would," He turns me around to face him. We lean towards each other and kiss before he can finish his sentence. I wrap my arms around his neck and he tightens his hold on me and leads me to the ground, our lips never leaving each others.
His hands explore me and mine explore him. We feed off each other, soak each other end as if we need each other like we need to breath.
But we have to stop. Robbie moved from a top me with me having to say anything, neither of us wanting to risk the chance of pregnancy by going to far. I straighten my tank top, watching as Robbie moves back to his heels and the frustration flashing across his features.
"Robbie…" I say and he grins at me and leans forward placing a kiss on my forehead.
"We need to sleep." He brushes my hair over my shoulder. I nod and I stand with him.
Jade and Beck are already whispering together on their cot by the next afternoon. 'He's sorry' and 'she understands' that 'he's under a lot of stress.'
I don't understand it. It isn't my business but I don't understand. He hits her and he apologizes and she forgives, rinse wash repeat. I thought that my frenime was stronger then that. I thought their would be no way she would put up with that.
There aren't many places to go in here. I get that. Not many new people to meet but… Had Beck always been like this and Jade hid it? But now with the close quarters and everyone not being allowed to hold any secrets it came out?
It's hard to believe. I always think of before bombs Beck a totally different being then after bombs Beck. This is a totally different Beck.
I wait until he's up and headed to the bathroom to sit on the edge of the cot near Jade. The girl glances at me but looks away fairly quickly, she obviously doesn't want to hear it.
"What are you doing, Jade?" I force her to look me in the eye.
She glares at me. "It isn't any of your business." It's not I suppose, if I weren't trapped in this bunker with them everyday. If I didn't have to go a little more hungry because Beck in his anger destroyed a whole full jar of fruit. If I didn't have to share a already tiny cot with another girl when Beck decided he would rather hit her then kiss her.
"You shouldn't let him treat you like this." I pleaded with her. She could sleep with Cat and I, I don't really mind that much. We'll protect her if he gets angry about it. "I'm your friend and I'm worried about you."
She glares at me for a moment then the look softens. "You don't understand, Tori. You don't understand how much I love him, need him. You've never been in love before."
Not really meaning too, I look up to Robbie who has taken a break from his notebook writing and was watching us. Was I in love with Robbie? It was possible right? But, would I ever let him treat me the way Beck treats Jade? No.
"Maybe it's more about convince then love." I tell her quietly standing as Beck exit's the bathroom, the bottle of liquor Robbie hides in his hand. He takes a swig of it before talking.
"Who's been hiding out on us?" He's already staggering. How much had he had in the bathroom? "I thought we all would share."
When everyone only stares and no one answers him, he flops down beside a stiff Jade and tries to press the bottle to her lips. She bats his arm away, but he wraps his arm around her shoulder - her neck really - and shoves it in her face again.
"Drink it, they've been skipping out on us, drink it." He angrily demands.
"Why don't you leave her alone." I ask pointedly and he looks up at me, with narrowed eyes. It's so odd to see that look on Beck's face. He then stands.
"What was that, Tori?"
Out of the corner of my eye I see Robbie has stood from his Cot. I swallow the lump in my throat and look the obviously drunk boy in the eye.
"I said why don't you leave her alone." I repeat.
"It isn't any of your fucking business what I do with her, Tori." He yelled at him spittle hitting my face. "None of your fucking business."
"It is!" I yell back. "As long as you're here in this bunker, it its!"
He looks furious and I think he might hit of hit me if it weren't for Robbie getting in front of me.
"Look Beck," Robbie begins. "All she is saying is that you need to chill out - a lot."
"Chill out?" Beck asks in disbelief. "No, you need to keep her in check before I do."
Robbie laughed an empty laugh. "You touch a hair on her head Beck…" He let his threat float in the air.
It was Beck's turn to laugh. "Look at you, all brave and noble now. What because you got a piece of her ass you think your something now don't you? Don't look like that, none of us sleep, we all see your late night trips to the bathroom."
They were going to fight I could tell by the way Robbie had balled his hands into fists, which were unstably shaking. His jaw was clenched and his eyes narrowed. I didn't want this to happen.
"What are you kids doing?" We all turn to Sikowitz who's standing by his door, but there was something wrong with his face. He was smiling. "We're getting out of here."