(chapter title – On My Own)
Elphaba left the Ozdust Ballroom in a hurry, not hearing Glinda call her name. She didn't care. She needed to be alone. She had gotten jealous of Fiyero dancing with Glinda when he was the one who had asked her to the dance in the first place. Men were so complicated!
"Elphie! Please wait up!" Glinda called, the click of her heels on the marble floor.
"What part of I want to be alone don't you understand?" Elphaba snapped, already undoing her hair and changing into her pajamas.
"Elphie, I'm so sorry!" Glinda apologized, removing her earrings and put them on her earring tree.
"I don't care, Glinda! I need to be alone!" Elphaba shouted, grabbing her coat and put on her boots. She then grabbed an umbrella and headed out into the night.
Rain was beginning to fall, but it didn't affect Elphaba. She held the umbrella high above her head, then drew it closer to her when a sharp wind almost pulled it out of her hand.
She walked through the park which was full of people. They didn't bother her as she walked.
The rain let up and Elphaba lowered her umbrella. Her thoughts drifted to Fiyero and his kindness towards her.
And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to turn, no where to go to
Without a home, without a friend
Without a face to say 'hello' to
Now the night is near
Now I can make believe he's here
She pretended to take an invisible hand in hers. She pretended to walk with Fiyero. She was mad at him for what he did, but he was still her friend. She still cared about him.
Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head
The following day, Elphaba avoided Glinda and Fiyero when she could. It was impossible because they had every class together. At lunch, she ate with Nessa and some of Nessa's friends. The girls talked about boys while Elphaba ate in silence. She picked at her sandwich and drank half of her juice before throwing her lunch in the garbage.
She then went to her class after lunch and found a desk towards the back of the room. She took out her notebook and began doodling. She wasn't a great artist, but she did draw good flowers and trees.
On my own, pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him til morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
When classes were over for the day, Elphaba headed into the city by herself. Glinda, Fiyero, Boq and Nessa had schoolwork that had to be done. Elphaba gave herself an hour to be in the city then she would get started on her schoolwork. She didn't have that much to do, so she wasn't worried.
Like last night, it was raining, but it was a light drizzle. Elphaba zipped up her raincoat to her collarbone and adjusted her rain boots.
She then walked into the library. She had enough of rain and needed to study. Elphaba then remembered that she left her books in her dorm room. Groaning, she put her raincoat and went to her dorm room.
In the rain, the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me
Forever and for ever
She found her schoolbooks and headed back to the library. She found a quiet table toward the back and dove into her studies.
Giggling made her look up. She glared as Fiyero and Glinda entered the library and sat at a table not too far from the one Elphaba was currently sitting at.
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself
And not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us
Once Elphaba got her schoolwork done, she headed to the cafeteria to grab some dinner. She paid for her food and sat down with Nessa, who was holding hands with Boq. Elphaba looked around the cafeteria and saw Fiyero enter, alone. He smiled at Elphaba and made his way over to her.
"I'll see you later, Nessa." Elphaba told her sister, placing a kiss on her forehead. Nessa smiled and watched her sister exit the cafeteria and walk back to the room she shared with Glinda.
"Elphie! There you are!" Glinda squealed.
"What part of 'I'm not talking to you' do you not understand?" Elphaba asked. Glinda stared at her, confused.
"Fiyero and I have a date tonight." Glinda announced.
"That's nice." Elphaba answered, flopping down on her bed. She then picked up the book nearest her and skimmed it. She then tossed it aside and decided to go for a walk in the dormitory hallway.
I love him, but when the night is over
He is gone – the river's just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers
"Elphie! Hey!" a familiar voice called. Turning around, she saw Fiyero coming towards her, a bouquet of pink roses in his hand.
"Are those for me? You shouldn't have!" Elphaba told him, her tone sarcastic.
"No, they're not. They're for Glinda for our date tonight." He said, running a hand through his hair.
"Is there anything you want to say to me?" Elphaba asked, her arms folded across her chest. Fiyero searched his thoughts for a moment before coming up with an answer.
"I'm really sorry about that thing I did."
Elphaba rolled her eyes. That wasn't the answer she was looking for.
"How about apologizing for the way you treated me at the dance? You KNEW I was your date to the dance!" Elphaba screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Fiyero looked around then guided Elphaba to a quiet corner.
"I'm sorry about my actions, Elphie. Will you forgive me?" Fiyero inquired. Elphaba wiped her tears away and smiled at the handsome blonde.
I love him, but every day I'm learning
All my life, I've only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness that I
Have never known
A week later, Elphaba and Fiyero held hands as they walked through campus. Glinda glared angrily at them as they passed by her.
I love him
Fiyero and Elphaba had an argument, so he was now with Glinda. Elphaba peered over the top of her book as she watched Glinda and Fiyero laugh and call each other cute names that made Elphaba want to vomit.
I love him
Elphaba and Nessa rode the train back to their hometown for winter break. Their father was there at the station to greet them. He hugged each of his daughters and helped Nessa with her luggage. Elphaba put her messenger bag over her shoulder, got her suitcases and followed her father and sister out of the station.
"Elphaba! Wait up!" a familiar voice made Elphaba stop in her tracks. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Fiyero galloping after her.
"What are you doing here?" Elphaba seethed, noticing he was carrying pink luggage. "Pink is not your color."
"It's not mine. It's Glinda's. She and I are going skiing. Want to come?" Fiyero asked.
"No, thanks. You two lovebirds have fun." Elphaba then got into the carriage that contained her father and sister.
"Everything all right, Elphie?" Nessa asked. Elphaba nodded and looked out the window.
I love him
But only on my own