Author's Note: This is the first of The Infernal Songs fics and yes, there will be more to come! Just wanted to let you guys know that the events of this fic happened after Clockwork Prince, so if you haven't read it, don't read this because it contains many spoilers! If you have read this magnificent book, read on! Please review!

Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
And it all just sound like ooh, ooh, ooh

Will slumped onto his bed, hating how empty and large it felt. It seemed to have grown dramatically in the past few moments, though that was technically impossible. He could hear the joyful whining of a violin in the distance and for the first time Will hated the blasted instrument. It was annoying and loud and mostly… heartbreaking. He remembered all the times he had overheard Tessa talking to Jem about the damn thing, how it had made his insides turn to snakes, slithering around to the bittersweet beat of jealously. Will let out a little sob then urged himself to get to sleep. He was determined not to dream of her tonight.

The next morning was torture. Not for the first time, Will awoke wishing he simply hadn't. That he would stay in the sweet, ignorant world of sleep. No such luck of course, even the universe itself seemed to hate him. He had always believed that was the cause of the demon's curse. Only he wasn't cursed. Years of believing he would cause the deaths of everyone he loved just by loving them. Potential relationships he had lost and ruined with bitterness and sarcasm. Then the light of salvation had come. He had found he was not cursed and that he was completely free to be with Tessa, to be with his love. Of course it wasn't going to happen. He recalled the night before with such clarity it pained him. His enthusiasm as he told Tessa they could finally be together. His hopes falling the minute she said that someone had beaten him to her. The despair he felt when he'd found out it was Jem. Him begging her not to tell Jem of what he had said. The agonizing truth that had torn his heart into a billion little pieces; spreading them across the empty abyss that had become his chest.

Breakfast was even worse if such a thing were possible. As soon as Jem stood up and said "Tessa and I are getting married!" Will's heart broke again at just her name. He loved her name. The hard 'T' and the soft caress of the 'ess'. The rest of his family had rejoiced; hugging the happy couple and claiming they knew it would happen all along. Well they would have been the only ones. Will excused himself from the room, feeling the sea-grey eyes tearing into his retreating back. He would learn to accept this, to put on a brave face like he'd always done. But today he would grieve for the love he had lost, even though she was only a walk down the stairs away from him.

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes
It all just sounds like ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

He was young though. He would get over it. He was strong. Even his name was strength. Yes, Will would walk away from this unscathed. Though the places where his lips had touched hers would be scarred forever. He couldn't help wonder if it would have been him who got to keep her if he'd done things the proper way. If only he had thought to pick her some lavender, their stems the exact colour of her eyes on a rare sunny day. If he had taken her places, showed her Hyde Park and everything it meant to him. Take her dancing in a quiet place where the moonlight shone. He should have done all these things. He should have realised. Now the next time Tessa danced she would be married. He would be alone. It was just what he deserved.

Would Tessa and he ever been compatible anyway? Sure they both loved books but that was really where the comparison ended. Maybe if he had been a little better at letting her get close instead of letting his selfish ways and sarcasm get in the way. But she was flawed too. The stupid girl had that much pride it was impossible to say something and not get told off for it. It was mostly him though. No, it was all him. Tessa had only behaved that way because of something he'd said or done. Now she was gone and he could never get her back. Her face haunted his sleep at night, his concentration and day. She was with him always but never truly there. That was probably the most heart-breaking thing of all.

Too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

Will groaned as he entered his room, clutching his chest like he'd been shot. He wished he'd been shot. It would probably be less painful and a quicker way to stop the suffering. He grabbed 'A Tale of Two Cities' from his shelf. He had been reading it practically religiously after she had claimed her love for it. Will started reading, skimming over the pages wincing as certain paragraphs jumped out at him.

"You have been the last dream of my soul."

"Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities and good emotions, incapable of their directed exercise, incapable of his own help and his own happiness, sensible of the blight on him, and resigning himself to let it eat him away."

Will shut the book, breathing heavily. Tears started to sprout from his eyes as he begged God to make the hurt stop. He sat like that for a very long time, rocking back and forth to try and soothe the pain inside of him. Will grabbed a piece of paper and a pen out of his draw. She at least had to know. With a long sigh that morphed into a sob he began to write:


Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know
I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours when he has the chance
Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done when I was your man


Will silently moved out of his doorway and towards her room. He tucked the letter neatly under the door and prayed she should find it and understand. He really did hope that Jem did all these things for her. But that was the most heart-breaking thing of all- Will knew he would.

Do all the things I should have done when I was your man