She didn't know how to react, was she meant to be angry she was ditched all those years ago, or devastated they were going to her daughter's birthday party and she wasn't, she was walking that fast she couldn't catch her breath, mix that with panic she physically couldn't breathe, she stopped in her tracks and shakily held on to a park bench and tried to regulate her breathing again, in the distance she noticed a familiar Latino face getting closer, she was running and carrying a large white bakery box, she didn't know whether to run in the other direction or disguise herself into the trees.
She fiddled with her bag looking for her phone, once she fished it out she slid onto the park bench and attempted to look distracted, after around ten long seconds she looked up to see whether the coast was clear… it wasn't. just as she raised her head the running women was passing, their eyes met but she didn't stop, maybe the sunglasses had succeeded on their own.
She decided to go straight home, where she was safe, she dodged the people as she practically ran, as soon as she entered the apartment, she couldn't move, she just stared at the photo of the beautiful little girl in the picture on the mantle, thinking she was going to fall, she leaned against the door and slowly slid to the ground and sobbed into her knees for what seemed like hours, it had been over five years and that only dawned on her today.
"Err what did she say?" Finn sat up straight in his chair hearing the name he hadn't heard in a very long time, "nothing, Caleb ran off and she brought him back to us… she looked awful Finn, she's practically skin and bone and her eyes had huge black circles underneath them" Kurt tried to be sympathetic towards the woman but he knew how his brother felt, "well she's not my problem, all's I care about now is Ava" he defended, he got up from his chair and stormed off, he felt dizzy… angry, annoyed that he could even care:
"Would you like to know what you're having?" the nurse asked observing the screen, they shared a smile, "yes, off course" Rachel replied grinning from ear to ear, "well… it looks like it's a girl" she announced, "wow two daughters!" Finn said in a flurry of excitement.
"Finn?" he was startled from his daydream by Santana shaking his arm, "you will never guess who I just saw?" she said stunned, "Rachel?" he mumbled, not in the mood for the whole party to know, "yeah… how do you know?" she replied, "Kurt and Blaine" he stared at the floor in a haze, "oh… you ok?" she put on a sympathetic tone and put her hand on his arm, "yeah, yeah I'm fine… just make sure Ava doesn't find out, ok?" he rushed, "ok" she knew he was in shock, he went back into "Finn" world and zoned out.
"Daddy come watch!" Ava was standing on the patch of wooden floor board in between a bunch of pink balloons, she was trying to round the whole family up so she could show off her musical talent, the rest of the family had already sat around her on the chairs and floor, Finn had been staring into space, "I'm coming, I'm coming" he laughed at her enthusiasm, he walked towards the crowd and stood behind his sitting mother, his daughters personality was very familiar, she was loud and intelligent, she had lots of confidence and didn't care what other people thought, she was very girly and loved the colour pink, and she sang like an angel, no surprise there.
His daughter burst into song, a song he'd heard many times before, but this time it felt different… he couldn't take it, he couldn't take watching his ex-wife's carbon copy belt out a show tune. He never had the chance to feel sorry for himself over the past few years; he had to be there for Ava, but today, after hearing the name of the his first ever love, he couldn't help but feel selfish and want to grovel.
He didn't want his daughter to see him cry, he bit his cheek as hard as he could, but when that one tear escaped the rest couldn't help but follow, and Carole noticed her son silently trying catch his breath in between waves of tears, she turned in her chair slightly and grabbed his hand, but he rebelled, he pulled away and walked off. Everyone soon noticed Finn's disappearance and began to look around, Ava could see the adult's distraction and stopped mid song "where's dad gone?" nobody knew what to say, they couldn't tell the ten year old her dad was crying because of her mother.
"You know what Ava, Santana brought your cake, maybe we should cut it?" Brittany jumped up from playing with the toddlers on the floor and guided the children to the table, once they left "what happened?" Santana looked towards Carole, "I don't know, he had tears running down his face and he just ran off" she felt awful seeing her son in so much distress and uncomfort, everyone pondered to why he was so sad, "I… I told him I saw Rachel before" Kurt piped up, he was greeted by a few shocked faces, including his fathers "well no wonder he feels like that!" Burt threw his arms in the air, "I saw her too… she didn't look too good" Santana slumped into the closest chair.
Rachel didn't know what to do now, her daughter wasn't here to be sang to, or give all her love to, it was just her, lonely and unloved. She picked herself up of the floor and hauled herself towards the kitchen, she took a bottle of water out of the fridge and slipped into a chair at the dining table, she thought about the week ahead, Rachel didn't work, she waitressed every now and then but she still had a lot of the money she made from before the accident.
He walked towards the bridge… bad idea, all's that did was remind him of when he had his first date in New York with Rachel, he leaned against the small stone wall, and tried to stop his hyperventilation, it's like his brain wouldn't stop, he physically couldn't stop all the memories flooding back in, he stared at the floor in concentration till he felt someone's presence, the woman sat next to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, "oh Finnegan…" she soothed, the Latino looked directly into his eyes, "why now?... I mean it's been over five years" she questioned in concern.
"What do I say if she asks me about her?" he said completely out of the blue, "she understands more now, and I'm waiting for the question" he carried on, Santana didn't know what to say, she loved Finn and Ava like they were family, she even loved Rachel, but it was awkward, "well… she bound to want to know, tell her who Rachel was before…" she trailed off, "so don't get yourself worked up, just go back and enjoy your little girls birthday party" she smiled at him, and they walked back towards the party.
Ava forgot all about her cake when she saw her dad come back, she ran through the chairs and lunged towards him, he sat down and pulled her onto his knee, "are you ok?" she asked curios to her dads prier disappearance, "off course" he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, "hey did you save me some cake?" he joked changing the topic, "yes I saved you the part with the little frog on" she giggled.
She did what she usually would do on all of her daughters birthdays, she closed the curtains and blocked every ray of light out of her bedroom, she got into bed and clung on to the picture of her baby girl, and cried, she cried for the daughter she doesn't know, her guilt overtook her and she'd usually lay there for days at a time, this is what her life had come to… but why?
Do you like this chapter? Shall I carry on…?
Also I want to incorporate a Berry/ Lopez friendship sometime soon,