Disclaimer: I do not own Mario or Harry Potter and am making no profit off of the publication of this work.
Author's Note: This story does not take place in a specific year in Harry Potter. It mostly just is. Elements from Harry Potter cannon will appear, whether or not they're from year one or year five. This piece was written for comedic affect, not for any attempt to stay true to cannon.
Acknowledgments: CrimsonKnight and Zaion Indulias on the beta work here.
Harry Potter and the Toadstool Cup
Stage One: Hogwarts Grounds
It was a warm spring day when it happened. Harry Potter was simply enjoying the weather, without a care in the world, as he stared down over the lake. It was only mildly surprising when the Weasley twins came sprinting out of the water.
"They're coming!" George screamed as he and Fred approached. Harry pulled out his wand and rushed toward the twins.
"Who's coming?" he gasped. He had no idea why the twins had been in the lake. But he figured it was best to not ask questions about that and instead focus on whatever the new threat would be.
"No idea," George panted.
"We found this tube at the bottom of the lake. And it went to this...strange...kingdom and some people found us," Fred explained, before he too had to take a moment to catch his breath.
"What?" Harry asked, looking completely startled.
"And they followed us back here!" George continued for his brother. "And they're coming out of the lake now!" And Harry saw a group of people emerge from the lake. They looked normal enough to him, except that none of them were wet. They also all seemed to have a strange fascination for one specific color. And one of them appeared to be some type of animal.
"Misters Weasley!" The deputy-headmistress scolded from behind Harry. He flinched a little bit, but was glad her ire wasn't directed at him.
"Yes Professor?" Fred asked carefully.
"What have I told you about exploring the bottom of the lake!" she scolded.
"Not to?" George asked.
"Exactly. Detention. Come with me, right now," and she grabbed them and led them off.
"But what about the people!" Fred exclaimed. The transfiguration professor just looked around and shrugged.
"Mr. Potter will be able to take care of them," she said matter-of-factly. Harry just blinked a little bit and looked toward the visitors. When he looked back toward the professor, she'd already vanished into the castle with the twins. He noticed a large group of Hogwarts students forming around him and so he did just about the only thing he could think of.
He walked toward the visitors. The one who appeared to be the leader wore a lot of red and blue, a cap, and had a bushy mustache.
"Who are you," Harry asked.
"It's-a me! Mario," the red clothed figured exclaimed. Harry just blinked at him.
"Okay," he said. "And what do you want?"
"We've come to defend against your invasion," Mario said.
"Fred and George weren't invading," Harry said. "They just like to explore."
"We challenge you anyway!" the figure standing next to Mario said. He looked much like Mario but wore green and was taller. At his tone, the large green animal jumped forward and waved his fist at Harry.
"Yoshi!" it exclaimed. Harry blinked and took a half a step back.
"Uhm hi?" he said.
"Yoshi!" the creature said before licking him in the face.
"Yoshi!" Mario scolded. He looked at Harry for a moment, almost apologetically, and continued. "He a got hit on the head a few too many times at a party we had."
"Do I want to know?" Harry asked.
"Probably not," a pink-dressed blonde said.
"He's adorable!" Luna Lovegood said from behind Harry.
"Yoshi!" the creature said, charging toward her and slobbering her.
"Okay fine," Harry sighed, doing his best to ignore the situation arising behind him. "What do we have to do?" The visiting contingent looked a little alarmed, but huddled up quickly. Well, all of them except for Yoshi, who was still more amused by the blonde Ravenclaw.
After a few moments they broke the huddle and moved back toward Harry.
"We challenge you kart racing!" Mario exclaimed. All of his followers nodded in agreement. Even Yoshi perked up and jumped back behind Mario.
"Alright," Harry just said with a shrug.
"Good good!" Mario exclaimed and produced a piece of paper with a large golden mushroom on the top. "Here are the rules and regulations. We will being tomorrow!" And then Mario and his contingent disappeared back into the lake. Harry just shrugged his shoulders before reading the paper, aloud, to the group of students.
The next morning a buzz the likes of which Hogwarts could not remember surrounded the entire castle. When Harry Potter traveled outside, he wasn't surprised to see the same contingent waiting on the grounds. But this time there were eight karts waiting with him.
And they were standing underneath a gigantic checkered banner labeled start/finish that hadn't been there the night before. It also didn't take Harry long to notice that a track also appeared. It led off toward the forest and at some point seemed to come out of the lake to complete the loop.
"You ready?" Mario said, staring at Harry as he spoke.
"As we'll ever be," Harry nodded and the eight racers moved to their cars.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first race of the Toadstool cup! This set of four races will feature Hogwarts and the Mushroom Kingdom in a battle for supremacy. I'm Lee Jordan, and I'm joined today by Luigi, who appears to have no last name, despite my best efforts to coax it out of him. Here ishe is now to explain the rules and regulations." Lee Jordan's magically amplified voice echoed through the landscape. Moments later it faded away to a different voice with an Italian accent.
"Thank you, Lee," Luigi started. "The competition is a series of four races. Three laps a piece. Points are awarded to the top seven positions and the person with the most points at the end will be declared the winner. We will compete on two tracks here in your world, and two tracks in our own."
"Alright, there you have it. It looks like the starting grid is being determined by random lot for the first race and will be the order of finishers for the following three," Lee said as the drivers started to draw their lots.
"Looks like, Mario, my brother, will be starting on pole for the first race," Luigi announced. He's the early favorite to win the event as this was always one of his better sports."
"Indeed the early odds on Mario are very high. But the Hogwarts favorite draws the second starting spot! That's right, Harry Potter, representing Gryffindor, will fill out the front row of the grid!" Lee gave a bit of a fist pump as Harry moved to the second kart.
"And for the second row it appears we have another Hogwarts entry, representing Hufflepuff is none other than fan favorite Cedric Diggory. His odds opened almost as good as Harry Potter's. Starting behind him is our lovely Princess Peach!" Luigi commented as more drivers approached their cars.
"Our third row is filled with two contenders from the Mushroom Kingdom. In fifth we have the King of Koopas, Bowser! Bowser was a late entry, showing up just this morning and taking your race seat if I heard right, Luigi?"
"Yes, Lee. We felt all parts of the Mushroom Kingdom should be represented, much like the Hogwarts contingent has picked a member of each of the four houses. It looks like the sixth place starter will be the affable dinosaur, Yoshi!"
"And the final two Hogwarts participants fill out the final row. Luna Lovegood will represent Ravenclaw in seventh. Draco Malfoy will start the first race in the eighth spot after the unlucky draw. And the engines have started! And folks I believe someone is floating in a cloud above the start-finish line!"
"Right you are, Lee!" Luigi cheered. "That's Lakitu. He's got the lights out now. When they blink off the racing will begin! He will also serve as steward and referee of the entire contest."
Harry Potter just looked up at the floating turtle. He had to admit, it was right up there on the list of things he never quite expected to see. But when the lights flashed his focus changed. He primed his feet on the pedals and then, moments later, floored it as the lights flashed off.
He beat Mario off the start, and couldn't help but smirk as he took the lead on the front stretch. But it only lasted mere seconds.
Something large and green rocketed past him, followed by the black and yellow of Cedric, and to his surprise, the silver and blue of Luna. He followed the youthful Ravenclaw, slipping over the track a little bit as he grew accustomed to the steering of the kart.
The first turning complex they ran into was a long swooping, triple apex right-hander around Hagrid's hut. He misjudged it terribly and Mario shot past him on the inside. The plump Italian also shot past Luna and had a run on Cedric.
Harry pressed himself into the line by the final apex and shot off. He barely missed Luna on the pass and collided with Mario, but Mario just threw his weight back at him and they jostled as the track disappeared into the forest.
Harry did his best to stay with Mario. But the trees made it more difficult, and he had to back off through the winding s-turns that made up the forest part of the track. Once, he thought he had a run on Mario. He dove to the inside of the oncoming left and saw the gap open up. But moment's later he was looking at the wrong end of a Skrewt and he bailed hard to the outside. His maneuver made it easy for Mario to stay ahead of him, but they both lost time and the petite Ravenclaw shot past once more. Harry spared a momentary glance over his shoulder and he could see Princess Peach and Bowser jostling for position behind him. Thoseey two seemed to be gaining more quickly than should have been possible. He thought the long straight would be a good spot to attempt to draft, but that was before he noticed the centaur charge. The horse-men ran straight at the drivers. Harry weaved expertly through them.
He watched as Luna misjudged one and was trampled. But she just spun and came to a stop. Harry watched over his shoulder as she rejoined the race moments later, although she had dropped to last in the process. He barely avoided another centaur when he looked back before he threw his weight into the hairpin, misjudging it badly and scraping the wall.
Cedric made the same mistake and Mario shot past him. Peach weaved through the two Hogwarts boys as they were getting back up to speed. A large roar from erupted behind them and Harry assumed that the larger dinosaur-turtle-thing had a run in with one of the centaurs.
He and Cedric jostled for position in the final few turns of the forest before they shot out into the sunny main drive of Hogsmeade. Harry blinked for a moment and wondered just how much physical reality mattered in these races.
Cedric lost more time from the surprise than he did, and Harry managed to get around him rather cleanly outside of Honeydukes. He focused on the pink dress driving in front of him as they corkscrewed around The Three Broomsticks. He thought he had a line to shoot around her on the outside, but just as he made the move, a green shell appeared from the bottom of her cart. It flew out and nailed him. He spun into the wall and cursed.
But he recovered quickly enough to only lose position to Cedric. He couldn't help but think the race was about to get more interesting.
For the first time since he started he noticed the glowing boxes littering the track. He slid into one, coming out of another left-handed turn as they cruised down the main stretch of Hogsmeade.
To his surprise his wand appeared on the front of his car. It glowed a familiar red and he did the first thing that came to mind.
"Expelliarmus!" he shouted. Red energy shot from his wand and locked onto Cedric's Kart. The light hit the Hufflepuff and he spun out of control, but Harry didn't have time to feel too guilty as he found himself racing straight into the sewer.
Instead he found himself in a long, rolling tunnel. Something must have happened to Mario, because he was within striking distance of the man now, but Peach and Yoshi were nowhere to be seen.
He caught up with Mario as the tunnel snaked around. He was debating how to pass when he heard a familiar voice yell from behind him.
"Avada Kadavra!" Draco Malfoy screamed. Harry evaded hard to the right, and was mildly surprised when he just drove up the wall and kept racing. But Mario made no motion to evade the straight moving green spell. It hit him square on and he spun wildly. Draco laughed loudly, but narrowly managed to miss the Mario's spinning kart. Harry cut back down to the bottom of the tube, clipping the front of Malfoy's kart and almost spinning him, but the two combatants kept racing as the two shot out of the pipe and onto the bottom of the lake.
It took Harry a moment to realize he could still breathe. And in that moment Draco was engulfed by a fireball. He looked over his shoulder to see Mario gaining ground quickly. So he sped away as quickly swiftly as he could.
He hit another one of the colorful boxes and a large toadstool appeared in front of him. He just nodded at it and then felt like everything around him sped up. The increased speed boost only lasted a few moments. But it got him through some flying Mereperson spears and past a menacing looking Grindylow.
He weaved through some ruins he recognized from the second task and then began an uphill climb to what could only be the exit of the lake.
"And it's Yoshi at the line after the first lap!" Lee announced. Harry tried to tune it out as he kept racing on. "Followed by Princess Peach and Harry Potter. The rest of the field is closing in on them quickly!"
"But now is when it gets interesting Lee! They know the track and the items will soon start flying!"
"I've been meaning to ask you about those, what was that mushroom that Harry had?"
"That is a speed mushroom. You decide to use one and you get a momentary boost of speed. Very handy for getting through sticky situations."
"I suspect it would be. What other things can we look forward to?"
"Well there are plenty of standard weapons available for the drivers. Things like the mushroom you saw, but there are also shells - both homing and straight shooting ones - and banana peels. Mario pulled his special fire ball attack earlier. For the Hogwarts contingent we've added a few special spells with similar effects to the Mushroom Kingdom weapons. There's no telling what chaos we may see throughout this set of races!"
"Always makes it more entertaining!"
"That it certainly does Lee! And it looks like Cedric Diggory has something now! He's tossing it and everything just went black!"
"Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder! None of the drivers can see, Luigi! This could be a huge advantage for Cedric!"
"Right you are! But we'll have to wait for the fog to clear before we see just how much he benefits!"
"A ton! He's out in front with the Powder gone and he's already looping around Hagrid's Hut and heading into the forest!"
"It also looks like Princess Peach faired a bit better blind than Yoshi. She's moved up into the second position, but is still a couple of seconds behind Cedric."
"Oh and it looks like we have some action brewing in the back of the field, Lee!"
"We do! It looks like Luna Lovegood used a summoning charm on Bowser, pulling him back toward the field."
"There's a lot of bumping and jostling as both packs move through the forest. Bowser shoots a green shell toward Draco Malfoy but it ricochets off one of the trees and misses wide. Is it just me, Luigi or are there more trees this time through the forest?"
"There are, Lee, the tracks will grow progressively more difficult with each passing lap. Typically that includes more hazards. Like that giant there!"
"Grawp! Hagrid's brother. He takes a swing at Princess Peach! But he misses. But the distraction is enough for Harry Potter to cut in front from the inside! Grawp tries to backhand Yoshi and connects! The dinosaur spins out of control and connects with Mario, stalling both combatants as the rest of the field approaches. Draco Malfoy and Luna Lovegood get through cleanly, but Grawp nails the king of Koopas!"
"They're moving back through the town now. Diggory is still out front, but Harry Potter and Princess Peach are gaining quickly."
"Back in the field a bit, Luna and Draco are fighting for position. They're both sliding through the corner going for item boxes!"
"But Luna's is a fake, Lee! She's spinning out of control. That's a tough break for her, it will knock her way down the field. Oh and Bowser just runs straight through her there, compounding her misfortune."
"But Draco has a Bullet Bill! And he uses it just as the contestants approach the lake! He is transformed into a giant winged bullet and shoots off at rocket speed! He hits Mario! And Yoshi! And he connects with Princess Peach! And he's coming up on the leaders!"
"Oh tough brake for him there though! The bullet runs out just as he approaches Harry and Cedric!"
"Too bad for our leaders though! Bowser has tossed a blue shell from the back of the pack! It's zooming up to the front and it connects with Diggory! Potter is spun by the ensuing explosion! Draco Malfoy takes the lead!"
"There's plenty of chaos still in the water though! A grindylow charges at Yoshi! But no! The dinosaur ate it! And he now has an egg! He takes aim! And he tosses! Direct hit! Princess Peach spins out of control."
"She's going to try to blindly counter with a green shell though! Oh she hits Mario and not Yoshi! The dinosaur zooms past, taking control of fourth position!"
"The merfolk are now assailing the stragglers! Spears are flying every which way! One hits Mario, one hits Peach! Luna manages to sneak through! Bowser is looking good! No he's clipped at the last minute!"
"But there's a star falling, Luigi!"
"Yes there is! The four of them are racing for it! Mario has it! And he instantly repels Peach and Bowser! Luna stays out of the way and ducks in behind him! But the Starman is off!"
"They're coming out of the lake now! There's still some jostling up front, but it looks like they're willing to keep their distance for the rest of this lap!"
"Probably not a bad idea, Luigi. We don't know what the final lap will bring. I suspect lying in wait with the amount of mid-to-end of lap carnage that we've seen could pan out here!"
"You may be right, Lee. But in my experiences, you want the lead. Try to keep all of that behind you. If you're smart find a fake item, or a shell, and just keep it in reserve in case someone attacks you."
"That sounds like a good strategy, Luigi. But I can't see anyone getting too defensive for the final lap."
"Perhaps not. But we will know for sure soon! Lakitu is out with his final lap sign as they approach the start-finish!"
"And it's a Hogwarts trifecta! Draco Malfoy leads after two followed by Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory."
"We have Yoshi in fourth, Mario in fifth, and then Luna Lovegood, Princess Peach and Bowser round off the racers today."
"They're cruising down toward Hagrid's hut now. Very conservative racing from the three wizards out front. Draco appears to have gained a green curse. He launches it back immediately!"
"But he misses everything! It bounces around and has no effect. The best you can say about that is that Mario had to go off line to avoid it, four places down."
"That's exactly what I'm talking about Lee! If you save that, you may be able to hit a shell or another curse and save yourself down the line later!"
"There's always other items, though, Luigi."
"Yes, but you can never guarantee that you'll get something that can actually help you out. Best to use it if you're about to hit an item box, if you're that determined to use it!"
"Diggory grabs a red spell from his item box! He's lining up a shot on Harry! Oh but no! Potter goes wide through that complex and Diggory takes him on the inside. He locks the curse on Draco and fires!"
"And Draco is defenseless. I can see your point now, Luigi! He's off just before the forest, and Cedric Diggory regains the lead! Potter gets past the spinning Draco. Oh and Yoshi compounds his misery by hitting him with an egg!"
"And the defenseless Malfoy now drops from first to fifth! A terrible change of events for him as we enter the forest. And he now has Mario right on his heels. And trust me, Mario is nothing if not a hard charger. He's going to want that position!"
"They're back into the forest now. And there's even more trees this time, Luigi!"
"And if I'm not mistaken, there are some large spider webs between the trees! Lee what could have made those?"
"Acromantulas! This could get very interesting! Oh it looks like Diggory hit one of the webs. It slowed him down tremendously. But Potter hit one as well! And Mario further back! There isn't really a clear path through the trees this time!"
"There most certainly isn't! The spiders are emerging from the side of the forest! They're chasing down everyone who hit a web! One gets to Cedric and he's spun out! Harry Potter avoids another as he takes the lead!"
"An impressive use of his weight into the turn to avoid the spider. But he's still being slowed by the webs. And Yoshi had made it through without running into a web! The dinosaur takes both Diggory and Potter fairly easily!"
"The rest of the field is catching up quickly, too! They've mostly managed to travel through the path created by others and avoided that little obstacle there! Mario avoids his spider and gets past Diggory and into third!"
"Out into Hogsmeade now! Death Eaters! Death Eaters have entered the town! They're everywhere!"
"And they're firing spells at everything that moves Lee! This is going to take a tricky bit of driving to maneuver! Yoshi gets past the first three but catches a curse from the fourth!"
"But Potter can't capitalize as he catches a curse as well! And one hits Mario, and Cedric! This is turning into a war of attrition!"
"Right you are, whoever gets through here getting hit the least may have a very legitimate shot of winning this race!"
"Look at Luna Lovegood! She's sliding through the dark wizards easily enough. She's gaining positions. She's almost on the leaders! But no! One finally gets her as well! And she impacts with Bowser. But that doesn't slow King Koopa down too much! The two spells from Death Eaters, though, are a different story!"
"I don't think anyone has made it through this! Lee! It's just chaos! They're getting small distances and then spinning. There has to be some trick they're not realizing!"
"Probably, but Harry and Yoshi are almost out of the town. They're struggling against each other! Yoshi is out! Potter is out and just behind him!"
And Harry knew he didn't have much time to catch the dinosaur. He was rather amazed the green beast could drive so well, and was so quick. But he didn't have time to focus on that as they headed back for the lake.
After the Death Eaters in Hogsmeade he wasn't sure how much he wanted to submerge himself once again. He had the strangest feeling that Merpeople and Grindylows would be the absolute least of his problems in a few moments.
He darted behind Yoshi and tried to cut to the inside to get to an item box. But the dinosaur pulled the same move and got to it before he did. A moment later Yoshi deposited the fake item box he'd won. But Harry had no issue avoiding it.
The final turn complex between them and the lake passed by without any major incident. Harry didn't want to look behind him. Judging from the fevered tone the announcers used, he suspected it was still chaos in Hogsmeade. But that benefited both he and the dinosaur. They'd built up enough of a lead that only jarring items could prevent one of them from not winning.
Of course he winced a bit at the memory of the shell that took he and Cedric out earlier. He'd recovered enough, but something like that could completely change the outlook of the final quarter of the race.
Moments later they dove into the water. Harry took a moment to adjust to the new surroundings and looked around for any sort of new threat. It didn't take him long to find it.
One of the Giant Squid's tentacles landed directly in front of him. He drove over it much like a speed bump. It didn't spin him and it didn't slow him that much. But he could sense the tentacle rising after he drove past.
Moments later, one fell in front of the Dinosaur. Yoshi wheeled around it and toward an item box, which allowed Harry to gain on him and cut to the inside for an item box of his own.
Harry got a green curse, he lined it up and fired. Yoshi countered it with a green shell fired straight back. Harry swore under his breath and weaved around the tentacles. The merpeople and grindylows appeared to be gone, but there wasn't much logic to how the squid was attacking.
So Harry just kept driving. There wasn't much else to do. He looped around the bottom of the lake and found himself driving directly at the squid. It was shooting ink out toward them. He weaved left, Yoshi weaved right, and Harry found himself more focused on avoiding the incoming ink barrages rather than trying to pass the dinosaur.
Moments later they were underneath the beast. And at that point it pretty much ignored them and started to focus more on the other racers entering the vicinity.
But once they were past the squid the water monsters appeared again. By this point though, Harry had no issue weaving through their attacks. Unfortunately, the dinosaur didn't either. Still, he was gaining as they approached the path back up to the finish line.
He just kept driving. Weaving through the obstacles and trying to find an item box. He saw Yoshi slide through one of the coveted boxes and looked for one he could gain. He saw the dinosaur drop a banana peel a few feet up the path. Harry avoided it easily enough and slid his way through one of the turns and into another item box.
Moments later another mushroom appeared in his lap. He finished the turn and started making his way up the path and out of the lake. The moment he hit the air he used the mushroom and shot off as quickly as he could toward the finish line, reveling as Yoshi grew larger and larger as he speed up.
"And in desperation Harry uses the mushroom to try to go for the win! He has the momentum but will he have enough track!"
"It's going to be close, Lee!"
"Yes sir Luigi! And at the line its…..!"
"Followed almost immediately by Harry Potter! Back in the field now. Mario comes across in third after having next to no issue with the giant squid! A group is coming next let's see how they finish!"
"It looks like Cedric Diggory is in the lead there. Followed closely by Princess Peach and Luna Lovegood! Luna shoots a green curse at Peach! It misses and deflects back toward her. She avoids it fairly easily. They're coming up on the line now!"
"Peach is sitting on a red shell. But I'm not sure she'll have enough time to get past Cedric."
"Either do I, but there she fires it! Cedric swerves as it follows him! It hits! But he spins across the line, taking the fourth place finish. Peach crosses next, followed by the other blonde in the race."
"The final two contestants are coming up now. It's been chirpy between the two of them for the final lap. They've exchanged curses, shells, and just about everything else you can imagine and continually jockeyed for that last point-earning position."
"They're coming out of the lake now! It's going to be close. Bowser tries to hit Draco with his last green shell! It's the last chance he has! And it misses! So Draco Malfoy will cross the line in seventh. And Bowser comes in in eighth."
"So to recap, we have a podium of Yoshi, Harry, and Mario. Followed by, Cedric, Peach, Luna, Draco, and Bowser. And that will be the starting order for the next race, which will occur in the Mushroom Kingdom."
Harry frowned a bit as he listened to the announcers. He looked around and noticed everyone looked rather happy that the contest was over. He frowned a bit. He was still annoyed at his loss, but for his first time in the kart he figured he didn't do too badly. And he couldn't help but smirk at the thought of competing in a foreign, magical land.
Author's note 2: No, Mario and Luigi's last names are not Mario. That's pretty much the only thing Nintendo has said about the matter, despite what most people think. I'm toying with an idea of letting the two betas I have on this write the middle chapters, and then I'll return for the final and see what happens. But I'm not sure if they're on board.
As always, the best way to contact me is via PM on the website. I respond to all of those, whereas it's fairly rare I'll respond to a review. Thanks for reading.