It's here, guys.
It's actually here, and totally not perfect. My eyes are so tired, I probably didn't catch errors.
Anyways, I finally found my inspiration, and wrote this unhappy alternate ending. It's realistic, though. Just want to point this out before someone calls 'bullshit,' but over half of the things written in here have been experiences in my life. Therefore, there's no way you can tell me that this isn't realistic, because I know firsthand that it is ALL too realistic, sadly.
Especially the parts with pulling the plug, looking at the time whilst someone is dying (R.I.P Grampa Godfrey). The bloody shirt thing happened in the original experience.
Anyways, to my readers,
I love you... so... much.
*drops onto one knee*
Well, fine then. I actually meant to say Merry belated Christmas.
Geez, I really had you going there for a second, didn't I?
WELL FINE THEN, BE THAT WAY. JUST SCROLL DOWN TO THE STORY.
The search for Lucy Heartfilia, Natsu Dragneel, and Gray Fullbuster was relentless. Police couldn't find them. It was as if they'd just disappeared into the night, leaving nothing behind…
This held true, that is, until they found the dead carcass on the road. A large, fearful looking dog had been struck by a car. Inside the dead animal's jaws was a bloody, ripped shirt. It was the shirt Gray Fullbuster had worn before he went missing.
Cops started to search the woods, and it didn't take long to find the tree house. The magnitude of the horror was off the charts, and it was heartbreaking to watch the parents cry and scream over the mutilated corpses.
At first, no one dared to climb up the ladder to the tree house. Either everyone was too upset and afraid to, or they were mourning. One brave man finally ascended, his head of blue hair disappearing as he entered the tree house. Crumpled up in the corner was Lucy Heartfilia, gripping a dull stake. She was on death's threshold.
Jellal quickly carried her down, a tiny flame of hope burning in his sickened stomach. He handed her to the paramedics, who rushed her to a hospital.
For weeks she was kept in a hospital bed, stuck in Acoma. Throughout the whole thing, Jellal never let go of her hand, sleeping in a chair beside her every night. He wanted to be there when she woke up, because the trauma she had endured was so great that she would need someone to comfort her.
However, months started passing by, and Jude Heartfilia got the call.
The hospital was running out of room. Lucy had been there for so long, and she hadn't woken up. And so being, her father told them that it was ok… it was ok to pull the plug.
Jellal snapped. She was still alive, he told them over and over. Still, his arguing did nothing. He had no say in what would happen to Lucy.
While the nurse attempted to unplug the machine that kept Lucy alive, Jellal had enough. He grabbed the white clad woman by her collar, lifted her in the air, and threatened that if she killed Lucy, he'd kill her. That got him kicked out of the hospital, but it was worth it. The nurses were too afraid to even approach Lucy's room.
At night, the blue-haired man would sneak in through the window, never straying Lucy's side until the first rays of sunlight streamed in through the blinds. He made sure that the nurses knew of his presence, sometimes moving the chair to the other side of the room, placing a vase of flowers on the table beside her bed, etc. He was Lucy's protector, and he wanted the doctors to know that. As long as she was still breathing, even with the help of a machine, he would make sure that she was safe.
He just wanted her to wake up.
She did, one day, but it was not how he had pictured it.
Jellal had been sleeping in a chair beside her bed when he was abruptly awoken by blood-chilling screams. It was Lucy, awake, but crying aloud in pain. The nurses rushed in, ignoring Jellal, and attempted to help her, but there was nothing they could do.
All the months that she had been there, the nurses never bothered to move her. The blood in her body began pooling at the skin, caused by gravity, and formed huge red bruises all over her. Bed sores, they call them. It takes merely two hours for a bed sore to start forming, so she had some of the worst bed sores the doctors had ever seen.
She screamed so loud that Jellal's ears started to bleed, and the nurses had to heavily sedate her, trying to temporarily stop the pain. This continued daily, her bouts of shrieking until she was forced back to sleep, only to wake up in agony. Then the process repeated.
Gradually, her body adjusted to the medication, and she was able to stay awake for a few minutes in a drug induced peace. Lucy wouldn't speak to anyone but Jellal, but all she would say was:
'It was my fault.'
The doctors ruled Lucy as 'unstable and insane.' She was sent to a mental hospital shortly after, because the current hospital couldn't handle her screaming anymore.
They never even cared to cure her bed sores.
At the new hospital, things started to get better with Lucy. She slowly got rid of the bed sores by staying active, regardless of how painful it was. It would have been impossible without Jellal's help, because he always visited and motivated her, even if they could never have a real conversation.
Days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years. Jellal knew that Lucy was never going to be allowed to leave the mental hospital. Still, the blue-haired man tried to get her to speak to him. That one sentence she always said had started to annoy him over time, challenging his patience, and testing their friendship.
When the last straw had been pulled, Jellal gave her one chance. Their conversation is documented below:
"How are you feeling today, Lucy?" The blue-haired man asked, repeating his daily greeting.
"It was my fault." Mumbling, the blonde stared off into the corner of the room, her brown eyes foggy.
Jellal kneeled down beside her bed, lightly directing her gaze to him. "I know you're still in there. Please… can you just say something? I don't care what… just something." He begged, frowning in pain.
"It was my fault." Lucy repeated.
"Lucy…" Jellal trailed off, swallowing thickly in disappointment. "I know you can hear me. I know that you can see me. Why won't you say anything other than that blasted sentence?"
"It was my fault." In the same monotonous, dull, grating voice, Lucy spoke without inflection.
Dropping his head in sorrow, Jellal felt his heart breaking. He loved her… he loved her so much. His life practically revolved around her, but he had a life to live too.
The blue-haired man knew that he would have to explain.
"I got offered a job in the Pergrande Kingdom." He stated regretfully, knowing that it was weeks of travel away from where Lucy was staying. "I have to take it, Lucy. I can hardly support myself with the odd and end jobs here… that's why I want you to come with me. We could start over, you know, have a life for once! We could even get married… but first, I'd have to get you out of here. The only way to do that is if you start talking. I know you aren't insane, so you have to show them! I love you, Lucy, but if you can't do this… I'll… I'll leave you." He felt his eyes water just saying it, but he knew that he was telling the truth. "I swear! I'll leave you, and I'll never ever come back!"
There was a long pause before Lucy replied. When she finished speaking, Jellal was so stunned that it took him a few seconds to comprehend what she said…
"It was my fault."
Clenching his teeth, and his eyes filling up his tears, Jellal stood up slowly and left. He didn't leave as the same man, however. He walked in hopeful, and left bitter, soured, and broken inside.
When the door clicked shut, Lucy felt something warm travelling down her cheeks. Slowly, she stretched her vocal cords, and it took her five minutes to say 'Jellal.'
By that time, it was far too late. The horror of being utterly alone crept underneath her skin, shook her bones, and thrashed her organs. She opened her mouth…
She never saw Jellal again.
A couple weeks after his departure, Lucy could commonly be found sitting in the courtyard by Natsu and Gray's graves. She had never thought to question how they got there, or why there of all places. Perhaps it was better that way, because the truth would most likely send her over the edge.
When one of the nurses at the insane asylum learned of her backstory, she came up with the cruel joke of placing fake gravestones in the vicinity. She told Lucy that Natsu and Gray had been buried in the back, and watched as she sat beside them daily.
Even as the blonde cried over the 'graves', no one mustered up the courage to tell her that Natsu and Gray weren't actually buried there. Whether it was out of regret or malice, not a soul will ever know. Regardless, that the nurse never pulled another prank again.
And there Lucy was, years later, sitting beside the slabs of fake concrete. Something was different this time, something big.
She was not crying… she was smiling a warm, beautiful smile. It was the kind of smile that made her eyes twinkle, bringing life back into her usually pained expression.
However, one would wonder why she was smiling. Simply… why? That would be because today was her final day – her day of discharge.
Unfortunately, Lucy had learned the hard way. She learned that in life, you have to move on, because if you don't, everyone else will eventually leave you behind.
Her taboo of speaking was the first thing she worked on. A while back, Lucy began talking to other patients, starting will small talk, and moving her way up to conversations. As soon as she started talking, the doctors started listening, and they began her treatment.
Lucy used to have a difficult time with her treatments. Therapy and group sessions brought up all the pain and hurt, but once she stopped resisting, she started healing.
It was a bumpy road to recovery, a very bumpy one at that. She had developed a fear of dogs and heights, and heavens forbid if she heard people arguing! Even with these scars of the past, she continued to improve. After a couple of years, the doctors deemed her fit to be released.
So she sat down beside Natsu and Gray's alleged graves for the last time. Lucy placed her hands on both stones, closed her eyes, and remembered all the good times she had with her two best friends. And when the blonde had recollected each and every moment, she took out a journal she'd acquired a long, long time ago.
The gift from her mother was worn, and the bindings barely held the faded pages together. Lucy took out a pen, turned to the very last page, and wrote:
April 30th, 2017 –
I did it, Journal.
I finally did what Jellal said I could do. He believed that I could get out of here, he believed that I was still fixable.
He was right.
It was so hard at times, but then I always remembered what he said: 'I know you aren't insane, so you have to show them!'
I did show them. I did what they thought to be impossible, and overcame all the odds.
I wonder if he's happy for my success. If he's proud of what I've done.
Or if he doesn't even know at all...
Even so, I'm going to do something the doctors told me not to do. It was their last advice for me not to look for Jellal, because they're afraid that he'll remind me of the past. But I don't need to forget the past. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget what happened to Natsu, Gray, and me. I will never forget everything Jellal did for me.
Regardless, Journal, there are times when you have to leave things behind. Today I am leaving three things behind – Natsu, Gray, and… you.
It isn't like I want to; it's just something I have to do. I can feel it in my bones, and I know that it is time for me to move on.
I really do love you, Journal. I mean it.
I love you.
There aren't enough words to describe the relief you've given me. If I hadn't been able to write my thoughts down, I think I'd have gone insane long ago.
You are the greatest friend I've ever had, really. You were always there, listening, experiencing my life with me, and never requiring anything in return. If I think about it, you're like a part of me.
That's why I'm going to leave you behind, sitting right between Natsu and Gray's graves. Then they will never have to live without me, and I without them.
Now, I think I'll get all choked up if I try to leave you with a serious goodbye, and I don't want to cry anymore. I know that this will sound childish, but I want to pretend as if I'll be back. I mean, maybe by some miracle, you'll return to me.
I'll write in you soon.
With that, Lucy left the leather journal's fate up to the elements, which soon wore the book down into nothing. It had been a meaningless sacrifice, considering that the graves were phony to begin with.
It wasn't the only pointless thing she'd done, because what had been even more pointless was her search for Jellal.
It was her love for him that allowed her to go searching for years. She never doubted or questioned anything, because it wasn't in her nature to do so. However, as more time passed, Lucy stopped looking. If it was God's will for them to meet again, then they would. Every day she woke up expecting him to show up at her doorstep.
Of course, she started having doubts eventually, but she just waved them off with logic. The Pergrande Kingdom was enormous, so that would explain why he couldn't find her just yet.
It was an easy pill to swallow. She just continued to believe that he would show up, even though deep down, a part of her knew that he never would.
You see, three years before Lucy was released, an accident happened.
Jellal woke up like usual – alone. He picked up some black coffee on the way to work in the Pergrande Kingdom. The blue-haired man was just an average person in the workforce.
As he'd presumed, it was almost impossible to live without Lucy. Some nights he just felt like driving all the way back, but his job kept him rooted in place. The only way for him to quell his feelings was to send letters to Lucy. She never wrote back, so he figured that she was angry at him. In reality, the ward Lucy was staying at kept the letters from her, not wanting her to regress.
On April 5th, 2014, he went to work like normal... but didn't leave in one piece.
What happened wasn't preventable. It was by chance. It was by a completely crazy, unlikely chance that his black jacket got caught in a machine at the factory. It was by but another completely crazy, unlikely chance that Jellal wasn't able to free his left arm in time… and the machine ripped it clean off.
He was in such shock that he didn't even feel the pain. Once he registered it, however, his agonized howls were loud enough to block out the sound of his severed arm being crushed between metal.
No one thought he would make it, really. Hardly anyone could survive such an ordeal, and Jellal, well… he was no exception. He died of blood loss well before he made it to the hospital.
Perhaps it was by yet another completely crazy, unlikely chance that on April 5th, 2014, Lucy glanced at the mental hospitals clock, spontaneously bursting into tears. The clock read 10:54am, which was ironic, because that was the exact time when Jellal was confirmed dead…
But there's a couple things you should know.
Bad things happen to people all the time. Good people and bad people. People who don't deserve the cruel fate, and some who do. Sometimes luck runs out. Sometimes... people die.
Do you know why it's ok? It's ok because there are things in this world that cannot be predicted. Us people just aren't that aware of it though. When we go to sleep every night, do you wonder if you'll wake up in the morning? Probably not. Whether we acknowledge it or not, this could happen any given day. Who says we'll make it until the sun rises? No one. Who says that we won't get into a car accident? No one. Our survival can't be guaranteed, so we should be be thankful for each moment we spend alive.
Lastly, I just want you to know that sometimes, it's ok to give up. Not everyone can win.
You can always try again.
I don't expect anything from this. If you want to review, go ahead. I can't deny that it makes me feel so much better to hear from readers. And if you don't want to review, you can favorite. There... shouldn't be a reason to follow. I'm sure that this story is over, as much as it hurts to say. I really worked hard on this, so leaving it feels like abandoning a best friend.
But, just like Lucy said, there are times when you have to leave things behind. So, I'll just be leaving now, dear reader, and you'll be left behind in the faceless crowd. If you would like to catch up with me, send a PM, review, favorite, or follow (if you want). I'll respond to any of the four actions the second I get a chance.
I love you all to pieces.