I am sooooo sorry guys! I kind of lost steam writing this story and gave up and moved to a different fandom. I suck big time. But! I have an update of sorts for ya'll. It might be shit. Im sorry. Please dont shoot me. I'll be back though! Maybe... :D
Why couldn't she do it? Why couldn't she just trust me? After everything I did today, the infiltration, the car, and still Belle refused to give me the slightest hint of trust. What more did I have to do to prove I wasn't a bad guy? What more would it take?
The phone slapped against my knee, vibrating and bouncing in my hand as I continued to tap it on my leg. I never answered the new call. I already knew who it was and what she wanted. Instead I kept tapping, calmly lost inside my thoughts while I stared down at the floor and bounced my leg.
I was thinking about what Andrea had just told me. She'd listened to me explain Belle's kissing me and she'd come up with a simple answer, like I should totally see it as obviously as she did.
"She loves you too, idiot!" she'd sighed at me, frustrated as ever with my stubborn ability to always miss the obvious.
I knew she was right. But at the same time how could she be? Belle seemed to hate me too much these days.
I kept overthinking it, trying to see all the angles despite the blurry evidence. Trying to see it like Andrea. But it was too hard. Belle was always an enigma to me. I shouldn't have hoped that would fade away with my absence. That was poor judgement on my part. Especially when I knew a Fritton was a very stubborn creature.
I sighed and rubbed against the headache growing behind my eyes. I could barely register the growing noise under me that signalled the girls arguing over something. Or the tire tracks grinding the shingle on the drive behind me warning the school had a visitor. Or the light pitter-patter of rain starting to fall from the shower cloud above. Or the slight wind that had picked up coldly around me.
Instead I felt electric and fire and everything else that came in the aftershock of belle and having her lips beautifully wake me up. Because that's what this felt like. Waking up. I was no longer in a dream where the spy won the girl every time. I was in that more adventurous place where the girl dictated the spy's game and ruled it's winnings. With Belles kiss still pulsing a hard ache through me I realised this was it. This was what coming home felt like. What it was meant to feel like. And I didn't want to leave that for the call still buzzing in my palm. Queen and country be dammed.
I stopped my tapping and raised my hand to my mouth, gently moving my fingers across the bridge of skin that not ten minutes ago had been blessed by Belles lips. I smiled to myself and allowed myself to replay the moment in my head. To enjoy it. I could still feel the warmth her breath had set on me as she'd kissed me. It'd been like fire. Only I was only too willing to kiss the flames. I could still the tight push of her chest against mine as she'd gasped for air, struggling to breath but not wanting to let go even for a second. And the wonderful feel of her teeth gently biting down on my lip before her tongue had eased the surprise away. Christ it'd blown my mind.
I chuckled to myself with the sweet memory and moved my hand away again, unsurprised when I caught a fleeting glimpse of red smudging my fingertips. I raised my hand back up and studied it a moment. If I wasn't wrong, this was my lipstick she'd used today. My old colour. The trinians choice. A hint maybe she missed me enough to keep it. And wear it. Maybe she did want me after all. But then if she did..
"Why didn't she answer her aunt?"
I breathed frustrated and wiped my hand over my mouth to remove anymore evidence of lipstick smudges before I glanced down at the phone again.
It'd gone silent. Worryingly silent. I didn't trust the geek when she went quiet. It usually forewarned trouble.
I opened up the call history and hovered a thumb over her number. One call would stop her worrying, and more to the point it'd save me trouble. But then, I honestly wasn't in the mood for work right now. So I did something stupid. Even for me.
The phone flipped in my hand and I deftly removed the SIM card. I thought about snapping it so I wouldn't be bothered anymore. But polly knew me and where to find me. Destroying the phone wouldn't get her to leave me alone for a while. So I ignored the urge to fling it and instead tucked the sim safe inside my pocket and went back to tapping the phone against my knee.
It felt oddly peaceful knowing that for now I could just relax and think without any distra-
A footstep echoed across the roof on top of my thoughts and it had me sitting up immediately.
"Sorry," she mumbled taking an immediate step back as if to go, "Am I interrupting?"
I stared at her. At her shaking fingers and smudged lips. I smiled to myself and shook my head at her. Her brow creased slightly at my answer.
"Are you sure? You looked miles away"
I smiled again and tipped my head a little, "How can I help, Annabelle?"
She walked up to me, stopping right in front of me so the tips of her boots touched mine. Her eyes searched me a moment before she looked away and nodded at the space beside me.
"Can I?" She asked pointing at the empty sofa seat.
I nodded and watched her slowly sit down. She took a deep breath before she turned to me
"I don't know" she said. I frowned a little.
"You don't know?" I repeated slowly, confused.
Belle bit her lip and looked heavenward before she shifted in her seat and touched my arm. That old electric feeling flowed through me again when she did and when she looked down at her hand I wondered if she felt it too.
"What don't you know, belle?" I asked twisting myself to fully face her. She looked scared. And confused. And alone. I didn't like it when she got like that. I never had.
Belles eyes stayed on my arm as she picked nervously at the leather covering it. She wouldn't look at me.
"You, kelly" she looked up and caught my confusion. Then she sighed and took her hand back, "I don't know"
"What's this about, Annabelle?" I asked catching her hand back and holding it in mine.
She took a deep breath that rattled a little when she let it go. Her eyes sought mine again and my heart twanged at the tears misting over the hazel-gold looking back at me. She struggled with what to say and I patiently waited for her to figure it out, fingers squeezing hers in encouragement. She looked down at our hands and I saw her slight smile before she nodded.
"I want to trust you" she said finally looking up at me again, "I want to believe what you have to say without doubting you to be a liar. I want us to be friends, kelly"
Friends.. I looked down at her hand touching my arm. This didn't feel much like being friends.
I smiled at her and moved a little closer so I could stroke her cheek
"I want that too, honey" I told her still smiling.
She didn't smile back at me though. I frowned and took my hand back,
"But?" I sighed waiting for it.
Belle sniffed and pulled herself away from me
"But you make it hard"
I scoffed and stood up, "You're not exactly a picnic in the park yourself, Annabelle"
She nodded at me, "I know. I'm difficult. And selfish. And impossible. And a hypocrite. But-"
I blinked, "What?"
"I'm difficult. You've always said-"
I shook my head at her, "No. Not that. You're a hypocrite?"
She swallowed nervous and I crossed my arms. She stood up and moved to stand in front of me. Her eyes kept flicking between me and her boots. Nervous. Hesitant. Shamed.
I tipped my head back elated when I figured it out.
"Ah.. I see" I chuckled cynically and shrugged, "Well, I suppose I had that one coming" I laughed again and shook my head, "Well, she had you coming, but after Chelsea I guess-"
My head snapped to the side with her slap. I stumbled from the force of it. It surprised me but not as much as the tears suddenly sliding down my cheeks.
I turned back to her. I should have been angry. Betrayed. At the very least I should have been jealous. But there was nothing there. Just hopelessness. Just an empty hole of hopelessness. Because now I definitely knew I'd lost her.
"I loved you belle" I choked, too tired to even stop the sobs breaking my voice apart. She stared back at me, "Whatever I did was done in our best interests. I never meant to hurt you"
"But you did" she whispered crying too. I nodded
"I know I did"
"Why?" She moved forward and grabbed my jacket. She stared angrily at me, "why do you still hurt me?"
Her eyes searched mine, begging for the truth. But I wasn't allowed to give it to her. No matter how much I wanted.
Belles grip loosened on me when I looked away from her and I heard her sniff some more.
"I should have known you wouldn't tell me"
Belle pushed me back a step and walked away. I stood there trembling. My hand clenched tight to stop the sobs breaking through but the tears still came.
"Because I still love you" I whispered bowing my head to cry. But the tears dried up as soon as I let them come freely. I looked heavenward with a growl of frustration. Why couldn't I control anything anymore?
The door to the roof opened and footsteps echoed up to me. Not shy or hesitant like they might be if they belonged to one of the girls. These were confident strong steps. And I knew who they belonged to before she stopped beside me.
"Don't, pol. Just don't"
Her hand came up to touch my shoulder and she gave me a sad smile when I looked back at her. She squeezed me gently and nodded towards the door. She'd come to take me back to work.
But I couldn't leave this.
I started walking towards the door. Towards Belle.
"Jones" her sharp tone made me stop mid step, "I know you want to fix things with Annabelle. But right now we have more urgent business to be dealing with"
"Nothing is more urgent than belle" I argued moving forward again.
"Jones.. Kelly, if you don't come back with me today we'll both be up for suspension"
I smiled and turned back to her, "And in which part of your threat would you like me to start caring?" She rolled her eyes and I walked back to her, "Polly I have to do this. It's gone on too long"
I walked off towards the door again, hand touching the handle when she softly called my name again.
"You were right" she called. I turned back to her, "About silva. I got your message after that infiltration stunt. And you were right. He was at that meeting today" she shuffled awkwardly on the spot and nodded at me, "I was wrong"
I guess I should have been shocked to hell with her. But I wasn't.
"I don't care" I told her. I heard her rush after me.
"Kelly please, the country is at serious risk from this man. And M. If you don't come back now you're not only endangering her life but everybody in this school. Including Annabelle"
I laughed, "is that the best you have pol? An empty threat?"
"Think about it Kelly!" She hushed her voice as we neared the stairs and pulled me around to her, "If Silva is part of that organisation Pomfrey heads, then surely he's after her too"
I stare at her while I processed everything. She had a point. A dangerously good point. If Silva was part of that group after the Frittons then the only way to keep Belle safe was to stop Silva. Was this what my mission was about? Figuring out why Belle was sought after by this group? It made no sense to me. Still, I had to keep her safe.
I nodded at Polly.
She blew out a breath of relief, "Good. Now we need to go and-"
"There's something I've got to do first" I mumbled turning back to the stairs.
I ignored Polly. I felt that electric pull at my bones again while I thought about what had happened. And I let it pull me away from the geek. I knew exactly where I was going.
I quickened my pace and practically leapt down the stairs.
She looked up from opening her door and saw me coming over. Belle frowned a little. She still looked upset.
I bent down and kissed her, pushing her against the door and pinning her there. She gasped at me, hands moving to push me off her when the sniggers behind us said some of the girls had seen. I didn't care. I held on and kept kissing her. Because I had to get this through to her before I went mad with the secrets.
"I'm a spy. And I love you" I whispered heavily.
She moved her face away and looked up at me completely shocked. About which part I couldn't tell.
"What?" She asked meekly.
I smiled and raised my voice so everyone would hear this, "I'm a spy. And I love you"
The corridor went quiet save for the sound of money swapping hands. Belle looked stunned. Completely gobsmacked. Maybe it was making sense to her now. I hoped so anyway.
"So..yous is a spy?"
Chelsea's voice rode quickly over Bianca's, "Isn't it obvious? Look how buff Kelly is now!"
"You'd know more than us, chels" celia remarked curtly. I rolled my eyes at them.
"Jones" the corridor filled with gasps and everyone turning to watch Polly walk down the stairs. Belle looked ready to pass out.
"Polly!" The twins ran to her and hugged her happily. She smiled but didn't return their embrace. Just crossed her arms and looked at me. I turned back to belle. I wasn't going anywhere until she believed me.
"How long can you give me, Cole?" I asked eyes searching Belles for some hint she was okay. Polly walked over and whispered in my ear. I nodded and thanked her.
"When I call, you come immediately" she told me strongly. I nodded and she walked away, "oh and Kelly?"
I glanced back at her and she smiled slightly, "Answering an important phone call works best when your SIM card is inserted in your phone"
She winked at belle and walked away. The twins followed her with a tumble of questions for her. The rest of the girls stayed behind mumbling opinions around me and belle. I ignored them.
"Hey" I whispered to her, smiling when she jumped a little, "are you okay?" She looked close to being sick.
A commotion from the dorm stopped her telling me. Her eyes cut towards it and they filled guiltily again.
"Let me through!" I heard roxy growl. I felt myself tense up. Here came another fight.
"You're not buying this bullshit, are you belle?" my fingers clenched a little around Belles shirt with roxys outburst. I'd been counting on her to make belle doubt me, "She's obviously lying!"
"Wanna bet rockstar?" I growled stroking Belles cheek when she looked over my shoulder at the others. I peeked back too and held in a smug smile when I saw three chavs holding back a very red faced roxy.
"Nobody believes it!" rockstar barked back furious, "Right belle?"
"Belle?" I asked too looking down at her.
She glanced my way and took a deep breath before she told the other girls to leave.
Her hand found mine as they grumbled and moved off. She waited for the last sounds of roxy being pushed into the dorm before she looked up at me.
"Come with me, now" she ordered pulling me down the corridor.
I was confused but I let her drag me off.
"Where are we-"
"Shut up. Don't say a single word" she growled at me.
"Sorry" I mumbled picking up the pace so I could actually walk without having my arm ripped out of its socket.
She lead me down the stairs to the head mistresses office where she slammed open the door an shoved me inside.
Her aunt and the matron looked up at us from their shots and smiled
"Good afternoon girls!"
Belle ignored her aunt's cheery hello and thrust a finger at me as I closed the door behind us.
"A spy?!" Annabelle cried outraged. Miss fritton simply smiled. Her eyes twinkling said she was glad I'd said it.
Belle stared at her aunt, "You knew?!"
Miss fritton sighed, "Come now, it's barely a secret, is it? We knew all along. Isn't that right, matey?"
The matron raised her glass and grinned, "All along"
"But.. but..." she seemed a little speechless. It was cute.
I walked over to her and gently took her hand in mine. I pressed my thumb over her knuckles and tipped her chin towards me
"Hey, its okay, belle. Really-"
"Okay?! You're a fucking spy, kelly! How is that okay? What else have you lied about?!"
"Ah! Annabelle fritton! We do not doubt where doubt isnt due. Now kelly here didnt lie about her career. She simply... didnt mention it"
"There is a big difference in that, dear" matron hiccupped. Belle looked back at me like they were mad and I grinned
"They are right..." i mumbled. Belle sighed and closed her eyes.
"This isnt happening" she whispered. I rolled my eyes at her
"What would you like me to say? Im a student? Im a banker? Hey belle, im fucking married with a kid?" She winced a little and I squeezed her hand again, "Im a spy. Its nothing too great believe me"
"Has the world gone entirely insane?" she cried pointing at me, "You-"
"I couldnt tell you because i wasnt allowed. Believe it or not the government prefers its agents to remain secret" she looked away and I let her think it over before softly adding, "belle, everything thats happenend with us was because of this job"
"Kelly" fritton barked in warning. I sighed.
"Fine. Mostly its because of the job"
"Better" miss fritton smiled.
Belle eyed me warily a moment before she moved away to sit on the armchair in the corner. She bent forward and held her head in her hands. Was it that much of a surprise she was going into shock?
I swallowed and moved to kneel in front of her. I grasped her hand and smiled at her when she peered back at me
"Im still me, belle. Im still the idiot head girl you used to hang around with. I've just got a pretty nifty car and government credentials"
Belle was quiet for a long time. Just staring out the window thoughtfully. I let her have her peace. I wanted her to understand after all. It was a long time before anybody spoke again.
"I honestly thought you'd go into robbery or something" she mumbled bringing my attention off her aunt mouthing at me to say something. I looked up at her again. She was still staring hard put the window, eyes fixed on something I couldn't see, "Or maybe full time heisting. Not something so.. honest"
I laughed. So did the other women in the room.
Belle smiled at me and stroked my cheek. My chest ignited with a slight hope with that.
"Actually I sort of can see you as a spy"
"Espionage is a forte sweetie. D'you need a drink?" I asked seeing how pale she looked.
She shook her head and stood up, hand holding tightly onto mine. I stood when she tugged on it and she smiled a little before turning to her aunt
Miss fritton looked out the window confused,
"But its only four!"
The door closed on her shout and belle dragged me along the halls back to the roof, ignoring the smirks of girls as she went.
She locked the door once we were upstairs and she waved at the sofa. I took a seat and readied myself for it.
Belle walked up to me and stared at me for a long time before she nodded.
I spent hours explaining myself after that. I told her everything. From the day I opened the application form from my stack of job offers to the day i got landed with this current mission. That I didn't go into detail about. I wanted her to trust me. I didn't want her knowing my job was to spy on her.
"Why didn't you just tell me from the start?" she asked quietly when i'd finished. I shrugged at her while she took a seat beside me.
"I didn't know how you'd take it. Or if you'd even want to be with me when i wouldn't even be in the country for most of the time. I mean, long distanced is one thing but that would have been something else.. I was trying to give you something normal"
Belle looked off into the distance a moment before she turned back to me.
"So you spy on people?"
I shifted a little uncomfortably and nodded.
"Some of the time. Mostly I just annoy Polly and get drunk with Taylor and Andrea"
"And are they...?" I shook my head and watched her smile drop disappointed.
"Pol is" I amended smiling when her eyes widened in surprise. I suppose that little exchange earlier made sense to her now.
Belle shook her head at me .
"How do you even become a spy?" she wondered aloud.
I chuckled and stroked a finger across her arm
"Why? Want to sign up?"
"It sounds like fun" she said smiling.
I shook my head. It was anything but fun, especially these days.
"Believe me" I sighed lowered my hand, "It isn't"
Annabelle looked at me seriously, "You should have just told me, Kelly"
"Especially when you came back. I was so mean to you!"
I chuckled at her, "I deserved it"
"Why? Why did you put up with that? I'd have left again if it was me"
"Because..." I smiled at her and put a hand on her waist, " I still love you" I whispered leaning over to kiss her. I had to. I couldn't not. I wanted to know what she was thinking. But more I wanted to feel her against me. I wanted to feel her hear me say I loved her. Because all these words meant nothing unless I knew what that felt like.
Her lips parted immediately on my touch and she moved gently with me. Not forcing me off like I'd expected. I raised my hands and gently cupped her head, keeping her locked to me. And I smiled when she did the same.
Her lips fell silent on mine after a moment and she looked up at me. She was thinking hard about something. I could tell. Probably whether she could trust me. I stared openly back. I wouldn't tarnish her decision by defending myself anymore. What happened next would be her decision.
"Kelly...I.." She hesitated and pulled herself away from me, "I need to think about all this"
She stood up and walked over to a chimney. I watched her lean her back on it. She looked all tired and confused and I didn't blame her. Putting myself in her shoes I'm pretty sure my head would have exploded. I stood too and approached her. I cupped her cheek and nodded.
"Take as long as you need" I husked to her, "I'm not going anywhere"
I softly kissed her cheek then, lips just grazing the side of her mouth, and I didn't miss the way her head had started to tip a little my way. I gave her a slight smile before leaving the roof.
I felt relief and worry as I made my way through the school again.
I'd finally told her.
But now it was all in her hands.