-In which, Dearka knows something is wrong when he passes Yzak's office and he hears Shiho Hahnenfuss yell, "I will DESTROY your peanut, Commander!"

Hello, peoples. I am proud to say this is my 54th fanfic and my 1st ever Gundam fanfic. The credit for the basis of these drabbles goes to my sisters who have gotten hooked onto the show (well, actually, they just got hooked onto the YzakxShiho fandom so yeah…).

WARNING! Characters may be a bit OC.

And also, yeah, ignore the so uncreative name of the story.

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❤❀~Shiho, the Man-Killer?~❀❤

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It is a normal day, a normal day indeed for Dearka Elsman of the Le Creuset Team of ZAFT. Yep. Normal. Normal as can be. Yep… Normal. NORMAL. Normal which translates to BORING. Yep, so normal and boring, in fact, that our dear Dearka has decided to turn in his late paperwork, paperwork that should have been turned in, like, maybe . . . two weeks ago? Yep… So normal and boring that he's decided to stop procrastinating. Yep. Yeah. Yeah… Hm, maybe Yzak won't kill him for turning in really late paperwork… Yeah… Well, that might not happen, but our dear Dearka can hope, can't he?

And it is on this normal day that he's decided to go to his commander's office like any good subordinate would. And with joybuzzers in his hand, just in case. Yeah… He should have gone with a frying pan. Frying pans are effective. After all, a whole guard force has changed their weaponry to frying pans, so it just goes to show that cooking housewives do have wonderful weapons besides chopping knives. But then again, that guard force was trained by a noble steed of all . . . err, animals…

Anyway, Dearka is just outside of his commander's office and is just about to knock when he hears the most scarring sentence of his life.

"I will DESTROY your peanut, Commander!"

Yep, very scarring. And it's even more scarring that that sentence is coming out of Shiho Hahnenfuss's mouth. Yep… So scarring…

"Not if I have any *beep* thing to say about it! You're going down, you mini-skirted sailor-suited *beep*!"

Oh, god, Dearka's innocent ears! Well, actually, he's heard worse from Yzak—tsk, tsk, and he kisses his mother with that mouth? Poor Ezalia Joule…—but still! Yzak's never said anything like that to Shiho before! Sweet, sweet, innocent Shiho… Oh, the poor thing must be in tears by now.

"Oh, for that, I'm going to whip you into oblivion!"

Dearka takes that back. Shiho's not crying! She's the master here! Oh, god, and they're doing naughty things in the office! OH GOD! The office! The office where Dearka has to go in to report to Yzak every morning of every day! Oh, god! Dearka doesn't think he'd be able to stand in that office without remembering this somewhat loud and not private (at least, not anymore) foreplay.

"Oh, yeah? You think you have what it takes, Hahnenfuss? Go on, try and rip apart my peanut—"

"ENOUGH!" Dearka yells as he slams open the door and barges into the office. "I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF YOU TWO'S DIRTY FOREPLAY! I—" He stops speaking when he realizes the scene before him is not what he had imagined.

There, sitting on the floor are his commander and Shiho Hahnenfuss with Game Cube controllers in their hands. The TV's on, oddly with a paused scene of Sailor Venus about ready to rip off the head of a peanut monster with her Venus Love-Me Chain.

"Is there something wrong, Dearka?"

Uh-Oh… Commander Yzak does not sound happy.

"And what was it you said? Dirty foreplay?"

Shit, Dearka was screwed… So screwed… So very screwed… Hm, maybe now isn't the best time to give in the late paperwork…

Oh, well, at least, Dearka's still got his joybuzzers.

✿°. ·∴続ける∴· .°✿

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So . . . um . . . yeah . . . review if you didn't find this suckish.