PARADISE IMPERFECT

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee (except a beach towel and Season 2 DVD. I own nothing related to any of the songs I use (except for an admiration of the tune).

A/N: Please see Sam's Escape and Sam and Quinn: Finding Enchantment for history/background. This is the third installment of the series.

Quinn knelt on the carpet, trying to keep her crying quiet. Through her tears, she sought tiny shards of splintered glass amongst the snowflakes. On the base of the broken snow globe, she dropped each piece she found. The realization struck her then, every tiny fractured piece of glass represented all the tiny cracks in her bond with Sam. She twisted a knob and the tones of A Whole New World began to play, then sputtered out to silence.

"Mom? You okay?" Joey said from the doorway of her bedroom.

She sniffed back the snot and wiped the tears away from her cheeks with the hand not picking up broken glass. She cleared her throat and tossed a sad smile over her shoulder.

"Yeah, Joe, fine...thanks..."

Her oldest son, now 15, stood in the entry of her suite in all his goth glory, holding a book...dyed black shaggy hair with the first hints of blonde roots, pierced eyebrow, black eyeliner, black clothing. His blue eyes pierced her, so much like Sam. His little brother by less than a year, Jasper, appeared at his side, clutching his iPod with his earbuds dangling around his neck. Jasper stared at her, with the same hazel eyes she had been blessed with, until she smiled at him too.

"I'm okay, Jasp..." Jasper nodded to her, then looked down at his iPod.

The two boys were pushed aside by two identical 8-year-old girls, bursting into the room.

"What was all that noise, Mom?!" the one in pink shouted.

"Where's Dad? What happened?" the one in purple asked, assessing Quinn and the scene around her.

Quinn cleared her throat again. "Daddy left."

xxxxx

Sam slammed his truck into gear and tore down the driveway. He swerved onto the road, not even sure where he was going. Hot tears stung his eyes. He slammed the steering wheel more than once. He knew he had screwed up big time and hated himself for it.

"I'm done!" he yelled to no one. "I'm done with her! With Joey...with Jasper..." Each name he stated came out less a yell and more a cry for help. He pulled over on the shoulder and admitted defeat to himself. Hunched over the steering wheel, he grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and checked it. She hadn't called or texted him; he had expected a message from her. He punched some digits into his cell phone, asking if he could crash there for the night.

He drew his hand across his face, then ran his fingers through his hair. He pulled back onto the roadway and rolled down his window to let in the cold country night air. He reached a small home on the outskirts of Belle Meade and pulled into the driveway, behind a black minivan. The front door opened wide just as he stepped in front of it.

"Hey Katy..." he said.

"Well, y'all sure do look awful...get on in here..." The short brunette grabbed his elbow and pulled him into the home.

xxxxx

Quinn sat next to Jasper during his speech therapy appointment the next day. They had been coming to Adam for years now, recommended by Kourtney's husband. The therapist, Adam, had worked with Ryan's son, Tommy. Every week, though, it was the same thing...Jasper sitting there tapping his foot along to whatever music he was listening to on his iPod, nodding his head in rhythm. He was supposed to be working on bettering his expressive aphasia that he had been born with. For the last 13 years, Quinn had been coming faithfully, at least once a week, to get help for Jasper, even though the doctors said after a certain point they'd stop seeing any gains. When he was younger, she or Sam brought him in three times a week; as he got older, the therapy visits lessened as he had regained some of his speech. The problem they were having at this point was Jasper's unwillingness to use his speech in front of others; he had written down that it embarrassed the hell out of him, how he sounded. So, he tried to keep himself plugged into his iPod the majority of every treatment session until his mother took it away from him.

"How was school today, Jasper?" Adam asked him after Quinn pulled the iPod from his hands, the earbuds from his ears. She heard the strains of what sounded like country music blaring.

Jasper shrugged. When Quinn looked at him, it was like looking at the teenager Sam used to be, except Jasper liked to keep his hair short and spiky. She gave him the stink-eye since he didn't speak.

"It...was...o-kay..." he mumbled. His speech was slow and jumbled if he didn't think about the words he was trying to form. Sometimes, if he was in a hurry, he'd spit out a random word instead of the word he wanted to say.

Adam smiled at Jasper, then at Quinn.

"Anything good for lunch?"

Jasper rolled his eyes. To begin with, it was always the same easy questions. It frustrated him to no end...knowing what he wanted to say but his brain not being able to make himself speak the words.

"Uh...mac n...and..." He sighed. He sounded like an idiot to himself.

"Bacon," he blurted awkwardly.

Adam waited.

"No...cheese..." Jasper finished, correcting himself. He looked to his mom, eyeing the iPod. She shook her head no.

Adam asked Jasper questions about music, his obvious favorite thing in the world. He usually opened up more with this line of questioning.

"Downloaded anything new in the last week?" Adam asked him.

"Yeah...Toby...bee...and-and Ala-alabama. Keith," Jasper told him.

"Ah, Toby Keith and Alabama? Two of my favorites!" Adam responded.

They continued their conversation, and Quinn's thoughts drifted to the night before.

I just...I just can't anymore, Quinn...Sam had said angrily.

Can't what, Sam? Be a husband? Be a dad? You're not giving me much to go on here...she had responded.

He had shrugged, then shoved his hands in his pockets. This isn't something recent, Quinn...it's been going on for years...

Her tears had started. So, you just can't be a man?

He glared at her, his cheeks flushed. You can be such a bitch!

With that statement, he then eyed the snow globe, picked it up, and hurled it at the nearest wall in their room. Then, he stalked out, slamming their door behind him.

"Mom...it's...mom...go..." Jasper's voice brought her out of her thoughts. Both Jasper and Adam were staring at her. Jasper was pointing to the watch he wasn't wearing on his wrist. She handed over his iPod and stood up.

"Jasper, if you don't mind, I need to have a word with your mom for a second," Adam said. Jasper happily went into the waiting room, already lost in his music.

"Quinn, you seemed...distant...today...everything okay?" Adam moved to her slowly, putting his arm around her shoulders. She turned to face him, teary-eyed. She looked up at the man she had become close to in the last few years. He was older than her by a decade, tall and slim, with soft brown hair and soft brown eyes that drank her in every time he looked at her.

"It's Sam...he's upset...he knows...and he left us." She collapsed into Adam's arms.

xxxxx

Sam sat watching his daughters at dance/gymnastics classes. Juliet was the dancer; Jasmine, the gymnast. For the first half-hour, they did dance, then gymnastics for the second half-hour. They had been coming to this gym for the last two years and were really showing improvement. He was glad that he got to take them on the days Jasper had speech therapy; Adam rubbed him the wrong way.

He loved the two tiny blonde girls with all his heart. He loved that they were identical. He loved that they had his eyes and his full lips and Quinn's love for life. He loved that they were athletic and enjoyed being active, like him. Juliet liked her hair long and in curls; Jasmine liked her hair in a short straight bob...that was pretty much the only way they could tell them apart. Juliet usually wore pink; Jasmine took to purple...so there was that difference too. He loved how they were the best of friends.

He watched Jasmine spin around the lower bar of the uneven bars while Juliet maneuvered carefully on the balance beam. While he stared at his daughters, a short brunette stared at him. His cell phone buzzed in his pocket; it was a text message from Quinn, letting him know that they were home from Jasper's therapy and did he know where Joey was. Sam sighed and replied that he had no idea where Joseph was and left it at that.

At the end of the hour, his blonde beauties, as he had been known to call them, bounded up to him, both vying for his attention.

"Daddy! Did you see my handstand-back walkover?" Jasmine grabbed at his left arm.

"Did you see my new dance routine, Dad?" Juliet grabbed at his right arm.

He nodded and tried to answer both girls at one. "Of course I saw! You both did great."

The short brunette sidled up to Sam and his girls, her hips swaying in her workout shorts, her ponytail bobbing here and there. "They both are improving so much, Sam, you should be very proud."

"Miss Katy helped me with the back walkover...I almost did it all by myself...did you see me?"

"I did, Jas, I did...and yes, I'm very proud of my girls," Sam replied to Katy. The girl blushed at his words while his daughters ran off to collect their gym bags.

"So...when are you going to tell her?" Katy asked him.

He worked a hand to her lower back, hidden from sight from his daughters. "Soon, K, soon..."

xxxxx

He loaded the girls into his truck and caved when they begged him to stop for ice cream. Of course, they wanted to stop at Splits, bringing back a flood of memories for him, when he and Quinn had first visited Tennessee.

They took their dishes of ice cream to a seat by the windows and chattered away constantly about everything under the sun, it seemed to him. He lost himself remembering Quinn that summer day, after swinging in the park...she had been hot and sweaty, her face flushed and smiling. It had been so long since she had smiled for him that way.

"Daddy?" Jasmine asked, obviously not the first time.

"Uh, yeah..."

"Are you mad at Mom?" she asked him.

"Um…" He stared at his dish of ice cream, hoping an answer would appear there. "Mom and I just had a…a disagreement, girls."

"Are you mad at us?" Juliet asked.

He looked up at his daughters then; their eyes imploring him for any indication that things were okay at home, with Quinn.

"Of course not…not you or your brothers…this is between me and your Mom," he said finally.

"Are you going to get a dee-vorce? Like Ari and Andy's mom and dad?" Jasmine asked.

Finn and Rachel had split up a few years ago, citing irreconcilable differences. Sam paused before answering the girls.

"I don't know."

xxxxx

Joe took a long, slow drag off the joint, held his breath as long as he could, and then exhaled, watching the smoke curl from his lips upward to the top of the car.

"Yeah, it was a huge blowout…Dad busted this thing of Mom's against their wall…he left and she was crying…"

The girl he was with took her own hit and rested her head against the car seat.

"Sounds like my mom and dad. Always fucking fighting," she muttered. She passed the joint back to him. "Did he come back?"

Joe looked at her, then hit the joint again. "Nah…he was gone all night…not the first time."

The girl rolled her eyes, taking the joint back. They sat in silence until they had smoked it all.

Suddenly, Joe laughed out loud. "Ya wanna go swing?"

She laughed too and hopped from the car, jogging over to the swingset in the park.

"Push me high, Joey!" she called to him, which caused them to both to break out in a fit of giggles.

He pushed her high, then higher, until she drug her feet in the sand to slow herself down. He clumsily grabbed the chains of the swing and stopped her. He stood in front of her, kissing her, sharing the taste of marijuana between them.

"Oh!" he said, suddenly remembering something. "Come back to the car…I need to read you this quote I found!"

He took her hand and they ran back to her car. From his backpack, he pulled the book of quotes he had been reading the night before when he heard the crash in his parent's bedroom.

"Listen to this…" he said, finding the page, then looking at her.

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies…Aristotle…how freaking awesome is that?" he asked her, clearly proud of his find.

She scooted in closer to him, taking his face into her hands. "Tis beautiful, Joe."