16Final Fantasy VII: Patiently Waiting
Chapter 1 written by Vincent Noble Valentine...
You know the meaning of life is a funny thing. We are born as babies and we grow every year, not only by changes in our body but by the experiences we learn, be it something that is good or a bad experience but whatever the case each and everything we do in life is something to learn from so we don't make the same mistake a second time. But sadly as the circle of life goes, we get to a certain age when we stop growing and start ageing. Our amount of experiences continue to grow, as do the lessons and in the end we ultimately become wiser as we all do with age...but with aging further comes a price, we aren't as young or as strong as we once thought we were. We keep thinking to 'back in the day' when you felt invincible and that you could take on the whole world. But can a frail old man take on the world now when the impossible task of your life is trying to walk up and down the stairs?
That's when the reality of life starts crashing down on you, because you finally realise that when you get to that age...you know sooner or later your going to die, kick the bucket and/or die in your sleep. Where in as the saying goes your laid to rest, your body withers away in the coffin and you return to the earth as ashes to ashes, dust to dust. They also say that when you die your soul goes to heaven or hell, where you wait to be reborn again anew with no memory of the life before. Of course this is just speculation on what he or she believes in, be it by the culture they grew up in or whether it's a religious belief in god. I guess people will take that info about 'reincarnation' a little too seriously and do you know why?
It's because people are scared...People all over the world know the truth just as well as I do and that truth is that none of us are immortal; we don't and cannot live forever. We have only one life and we have to live it while we have it. That's the truth about reality, even though some people won't except that. That's why people 'believe' in reincarnation because it hides their fear of death, it keeps them sane...
Now personally as a human being I don't really believe in that crock of shit. Life? Death? True they co exist in our world, both play their parts in society every damn day even if it's good or bad. But let me run my concept of what life and death really are, or better yet what I actually think...Life? Oh I'm alive, I'm living that much is obvious but the minute I was born I was already really dead. People say that we are dead or dying the minute we are born, I actually think there's some truth in that. Heck it's pretty much true...we are born, we live, we die end of story. Now before you start thinking that the author is a nut or a 'goth', then you pretty much hit the nail on the head there. I'm only 23 and yes I'm an alternative or a goth as they say. 2 years ago I said I wouldn't be one however I've had to eat my own words because no one can predict how life goes.
Why the long start of author notes? Well it concerns all the above of living life, gaining experiences, wisdom and knowledge while in the process living, growing older and then ultimately saying hello to Elvis in heaven. However I did say that none of us were immortal right? Well maybe one man is...He's seen it all and faced the VERY worst life has to offer and this guy doesn't show any signs of ageing and we can all thank one very fucked up mad scientist, namely Professor Hojo..(baseball bats are in the back, feel free to grab one and beat the crap out of him). So let's see he was 27-28 when he was Turk and then spent 30 years in a coffin as atonement for failing the one he loved so that would make him roughly 58? For an old man he doesn't have to worry about white hair or wrinkles does he?
Anyway that makes him the oldest member of AVALANCHE, yet he has gone through everything in life that we all pretty much do (bar saving the world from a huge meteor). But what about after it's all over? Knowing what he knows, what he's been through that others are only starting to do, after the entire ordeal of saving the planet he must now choose what to do with his life? Will he truly accept what he is? What he has become and start life over or will he simply return to the dusty coffin in the basement of the Shinra Mansion? Read on and find out.
High in the clouds, in the skies above lies the airship Highwind. Owner to one Captain Cid Highwind and current base of operations of the supposed rebel faction AVALANCHE. To each of the weary members of the team, they consider their coming together as a team and protectors of the planet not on what you would call a coincidence but rather fate. Together as a family they have done and seen so many things that very few people in their lifetime get to do, living a dream that was indeed a reality. Of course they weren't a family in terms of bloodline or by means of relation, but they came to be a family like the real thing, through trusting one another in all the experiences they shared throughout their journying together. In their bond lied trust, friendship and deep sense of respect to each respective person. They came together for a common goal and finally after all their efforts had finally succeeded.
The planet was saved. Sephiroth was dead and Meteor was gone like it never even existed. People all over the world were probably celebrating that very same moment as each of them looked down at the remains of Midgar...maybe some people were mourning at the loss of loved ones that died from the destructable forces of Meteors near collision with Earth. Whatever the case was people all over the planet were surely relieved that they could live to see another day. The only people that weren't exactly jumping for joy or celebrating were the very same people that actually saved all of humanity. The deck of the Highwind was deathly silent and all anyone could hear was the humming of the ships engines and the quiet intake of air that each of them took in. Celebrating seemed to be the farthest thing on each of their minds at the moment as all their thoughts turned to one thing; 'What happens now?'
They all knew that if they did succeed and win that it would eventually come down to this. In a world where the Shinra no longer existed and that Sephiroth and Jenova were gone, was there really any need for AVALANCHE to exist either? They had done the task they set out to do, their work was done and the planet was safe. So where do each of them go from here? A very complex question indeed...
Unfortunely the silence surrounding them couldn't last forever and the first to speak up was none other than their leader; Cloud Strife, "What now?"
"Huh? Say what?"
"What now Barret? Where do we go from here? Surely you of all people would knew that this time would come when AVALANCHE was no longer needed. We've done what we set out to do and it's over; The Shinra are gone and so are those who were in charge; Rufus, heidagaar, Hojo, Scarlet and Palmer. Their all dead leaving only Reeve and he was the only one of them that was on our side and uncorrupted by their numbers. That was the objective of AVALANCHE wasn't it? To get rid of the Shinra?"
"Well, yeah but"
"Sephiroth and Jenova are gone too, as well as meteor. There is now no current threat against the planet or it's people. So where does that leaves us?"
A depressed sigh escapes the mouth of Barret Wallace as he hangs his head downward. The spikey ass fool was right, he of all people should have known their would be a time when AVALANCHE would no longer be needed. The former coal miner from Corel just didn't expect this time to come any quicker. When AVALANCHE first came together Barret actually expected their campaign against the Shinra to go on for years, maybe a decade or two until either they won or until the Shinra were really gone. But ever since Cloud joined the team and then with the rest of them coming together to stop Sephiroth and the Shinra...they had all done this within a 1 year, 3 months, and 12 days. It really was finally over, so the only thing left to do was...
"We disband" come the gruff answer.
A couple of sad glances were passed around the room as the answer didn't seem to shock them all too much. They couldn't keep fighting for the planet forever and even though they had to go their seperate ways, it didn't mean they couldn't keep in touch by Phs and see each other occassionally. Besides even if another threat did come to threaten the planet, then they would come together once more and do what they did best; Kick some butt and take down some names. But they weren't all going to leave and go their seperate ways just yet, it was highly possible that none of them even spared a mindless thought to what would happen in the next phase of their lives and right now it was night time, surely they could put off saying their good byes until the morning and for now just celebrate, as they had a right too. The idea however didn't argree with one man though and the concept of fun didn't quite fit in his vocabulary, especially when he believed himself to be devoid of emotion. So slowly and with swift movement Vincent moved back into the darkness of the shadows, before leaving on silent footsteps.
He wouldn't get far however as a certain thief who had a knack for materia had alone watched him leave. The others didn't seem to notice as their conversations were mixed up of their next destination or what to do next. Following suit and in a less silent manner Yuffie karasagi left the deck of the Highwind in persuit of her fellow team mate. After a couple of minutes of searching high and low all over the Highwind, from the sleeping quarters to the briefing room and then the chocobo's holding area, Yuffie was left with one place left to look and sure enough Vincent was there on the upper level of the Highwind, standing alone in silence with his arms folded, gazing at the stars above with the wind chaoticly catching his red cape in a torrent of madness.
Ever since Sephiroth's defeat, Vincent had become more silent and distant from the group and hardly said anything that would even make up a sentance. Like all the other's Yuffie understood why, even though they treated her as a brat and somewhat immature, she like the rest of them knew what the dilemma was that Vincent alone was brooding on. Yuffie also understood the reason why he never talked about it nor sought out their help and it was mainly because that the problem was his alone. Vincent joined the team to find Hojo and kill him, to avenge the death of woman known as Lucrecia...his only reason to fight, his only love and evidently his only reason to continue living also. With his revenge came satisfaction and vengeance but to kill Sephiroth, her son, had Vincent again commited another sin to burden himself with?
(So much pain, so much hardship just for one man to burden himself with. Why Vincent? Why put yourself through it all when you did what you set out to do. You avenged her yet you can't let go of something that wasn't your fault, you can't burden yourself with the sins of all humanity y'know) Yuffie thought to herself silently, afraid of saying such words to the person infront of her.
"...How long have you been standing there Yuffie?"
"H-how did you know?" she asked a little shocked.
"...Your perfume. I've become accustomed to knowing that only you wear something that smells of cherry blossoms" came the deadpan reply from Vincent who had yet to look in her direction.
"What! Are you saying that I stink!" growled Yuffie defensivley stomping towards him.
"...No"
"Oh...good. Cause if you thought that I did stink I would have had to kick your sorry ass for that!" replied Yuffie sticking her tongue out at him.
"Annnnyyway. Why'd you come up here? The others are thinking of taking us some place to celebrate, aren't you joining us?" questioned Yuffie, holding her hands behind her back.
"...I...am unsure of what to do. The only results from our celebrating would certainly produce a very drunken Cid and even more drunken Barret. Those two are incorigable when it comes to that sort of thing and I would simply feel out of place"
The young Shinobi giggles lightly at this. Yes it was true about Cid being a heavy drinker, Barret included. If those two got as drunk as they did LAST time then they'd both be up until the wee hours of the morning, singing in a drunken haze that would wake the dead or they would probably stir up at least 2 or 3 bar fights of which Cloud and Tifa would both have to drag their drunken asses out of.
"What about when you were a Turk? Didn't you ever do those sort of things that those two would do? Or maybe perhaps like Reno and Rude?"
"Should I take that answer as a 'yes'?"
"Come on Vinnie say something!" growled Yuffie again.
"...Something..."
"Oh har har Vinster, very funny. Just look at my sides split open out of laughter"
"Gawd Vinnie at least give me an answer! Are you joining us tonight or not?"
"...If I say yes, you will leave me alone?" he asks looking at her out of the corner of his left eye glaring.
"ONLY if you promise not to change into Chaos and bugger off!"
"...Very well Yuffie, you have my word that I will be there" he answers sounding as emotionless as ever.
With a satisfied smirk Yuffie turns on her heel and runs back inside to tell the others. Vincent's answer seemed good enough to her and even though she knew very little of Vincent, she did know that when Vincent made a promise his word was as good as gold. That in the mind of the Materia Hunter and aspiring Shinobi was all she needed to hear as she ran back to the others at full throttle. Unbeknowest to Vincent, that the tricky little theif was already scheming to make sure that Vincent would enjoy this night as much Cid and Barret would.
Sighing and thanking whatever gods that were watching over him Vincent resumed his train of thought. Now because of Yuffie's persistant badgering he now had no choice but to join the other members of AVALANCHE in celebrating. It wasn't because he didn't like them or their company, infact the ex-Turk had actually become quite accustomed to their company, friendliness and trust in him. How long had it been since for the first time in Vincent's life did he really feel wanted or needed? The answer to that question somehow eluded him as he couldn't really remember when someone actually enjoyed his company without fearing for their lives. His past as a child and of his parents were a few things that eluded him also. He never really knew why he could never remember that far back not even when he was a Turk. The only thing he ever remembers clearly was his cursed past and working for Shinra as one the most Elite Turks, his superiors never really wanted his company nor liked it either. They only liked it when he was killing and he did it very well. He was only supposed to follow the orders and assignments given to him and to never question their authority. If he was ordered to kill, he would do it without a second thought, if the assignment ment protection on his part then he would use his own body as a shield to protect those that paid him. The money back then was good and the rate was high, but money to Vincent now was fruitless. It allowed him to live a somewhat normal life and it paid the bills. The only thing he ever desired was the action that came with being a Turk, the constant thrill of battle and of cheating death which he had done back then so many times that people actually believed he walked around with a constant deathwish hanging over him.
That was his life back then and he loved it. He never once regretted any assignment he was given and he never even regretted the blood of so many that soiled his hands, innocent or otherwise. But 30 years ago, for the first time in Vincent's life did he really know and understand true regret and sorrow. He regretted ever taking the assignment to watch over Lucrecia, Hojo and Dr Gast. He regretted it even more when he met Hojo and found out what a psychopath he was. He hated Hojo with a burning passion that with the simple mentioning of his name caused Vincent's body to explode with anger and utter distaste. It was all because of him that Vincent is what he is today; nothing more than the outer shell of the man he used to be, a man that lost all he was, his emotions and nearly his humanity by becoming something less than a human and more...of a monster. But never once did Vincent Valentine ever regret laying eyes on Lucrecia. His only regret and ultimate shame was that they could never be together or to get the chance to grow old with a family of their own. If only he could of saved her, if only he had killed Hojo before he started his experimentations on Lucrecia's body...So many what if's...so many different paths his life could have taken if Hojo or Jenova never existed at all.
I guess that's why it really hurt Vincent so much and why he always vowed to remember Lucrecia every day of his life, because love really hurts when you know that their gone.
Shaking his head and letting a lone tear spill forth, Vincent sighs staring back out into the night sky, (why continue thinking about the what if's I could have taken, this is my life and for failing Lucrecia I must accept what fate has ordained as my punishment).
Punishment or not what path could the lone gunman take from here? Lucrecia's death was avenged and Hojo was dead. His mission, his obligation to her memory was done. Perhaps ending his life right here was the best option, but no Vincent would not choose that path, that was the coward's way out and Vincent had never taken that path. Perhaps after the night's festivities were over, maybe when morning came he would decide then? Little did Vincent know that by the time they would reach their destination that a new start at life would surely present itself.
Author's Note: So what did you think? Sorry if it was a bit angsty but this is supposed to be a romance story in later chapters. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Feedback is all good and always welcome. I'll start chapter 2 in a few days hopefully with some reviews for me to look at.
Recommended mp3 of the day: Chrono Cross- Radical Dreamers
Signed Vincent Noble Valentine...