Honey, I'm home!

I'm very sorry for not posting sooner.

I'm an awful author. But I have had some bad events occurring recently that have prevented me from updating.

But I'm back! And I have a fair few chapters ready.

This one took a darker turn and there are TRIGGERS in this chapter.

I'm sorry if it offends or upsets you but please feel free to message me if you need to talk.

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI N.Y, I only own the plot.


He stole the air straight from my lungs with his innocent and heartfelt statement. A beautiful sentence that caused my eyes to mist and toes to curl. Searching all this time for a prince and one is dumped onto my doorstep.

'Because then, I won't let you go, Stella.'

My fractured Adonis opened his heart up to me.

Smiling wider than I had in months I take a step back, ending the moment sooner than desired; I assume Mac feels the same as he tenses. Guarding my heart was proving to be very difficult around him. His honesty and vulnerability brought out a side of me I thought was lost long ago.

With his file burning behind me I now consider how I talk to him.

Commands are a big no no. If he envisions me as an 'Alpha', I do not want it to develop any further.

'Nip it in the bud, Stella.'

"I went out and got you some things, why don't we put them away and I'll start cooking dinner after that?" I asked, smiling softly.

Nodding sternly, he turns and picks up all the bags I'd previously dropped on the sofa in one swoop. Leading the way into his room with a bounce in my step, I open the empty drawers and drop to my knees in front of them.

"You can just drop them by me; I'll take care of the rest. Why don't you sit on the bed?" I smile up at him, holing my hands out for him to place some of the bags in my hands.

Slowly and carefully he lowers the cargo to the floor, before complying with my suggestion; his eyes analysing me, a spark that I'd never seen before present in his intense gaze.

I start my task, working through the bags methodically; before long I begin to sing a simple tune. The notes flow freely as my hands fold clothes and place them away. I still feel the warmth from his embrace. His heart beat, scent and heat evading my senses and making me confused.

Was it simply happiness that I can bring out his best? That he is not a beast? Or am I unprofessional, having feelings like these towards my client?

Slowing as my mind stews in these thoughts, I sigh, placing his shoes under his bed.

I'm brought out of my sulk by Mac's gruff voice.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

Turning to look at him I frown; mouth open to retort I'm abruptly cut off.

"Is it pity? Duty? Lies?" He growls, his hand darting out and wrapping around my throat.

Clawing at his hand I'm in shock. "What?!"

'Where has this come from?!'

His eyes grow dark, pupils almost consuming his irises, his breath coming out in short and ragged bursts.

Picking me up by my throat with one hand and throwing the door shut with the other, he slams me against the door. Fear like nothing I have ever experienced consumes me, I feel my eyes widen and I kick with all my strength. Clawing at his hand I whimper, arching my back to get any leverage.

"Tell me your motives, Stella." Mac purrs dangerously, his face stoic. "What are they, huh?"

Black spots appear in my vision as I realize my efforts are futile.

I'm doomed.

"Puh-Please Mac!" I manage to squeeze out.

His grip tightens as a deep laugh rumbles from his chest; he comes closer. Soon his body is pressing against mine, pinning me with his weight and his hand.

His body melds to mine, his growls reverberate through my chest shaking my broken and erratic heart.

Mac is a machine. I have no chance.

Clenching my eyes shut, I struggle to take control of my fading body.

"You're a vixen, I'll give you that. But your tricks won't work on me." He states, his voice heavy with his accent.

Slipping his free hand on my hip he nuzzles my shoulder, teeth briefly grazing my flushed skin. Scrunching my eyes closed I fight of the conflicting emotions, disgusted in myself.

If I survive I want a full psych evaluation.

"I can smell you, do you know that? You're a mix of cocoa, cinnamon and vanilla. And it's you. Your sent is as unique as a fingerprint. But you, Stella, are Intoxicating; never have I encountered a scent that could override my training like yours. I smell your fear and hatred. Your.. heat." He grins darkly against my flesh. " But there's something else here.." Mac stops as he sniffs my skin once more. "What..?"

Soon as the word passes his lips, he releases my throat and retracts his hand as if I burned him.

Coughing and gasping for air, my legs fail me as I slide down the door, my vision swimming. Shaking with fear and confusion I back my back into the door.

"No.. No No No.." He chants above me. "Hope? Trust? Desire?"

Hands either side of my form I steady myself, I fight to stay conscious. What happened to us? What did I do? Tears track down my flushing cheeks as my emotions catch up with me and the shock subsides.

Would I wake up if I slipped into unconsciousness? Would he kill me? After everything..? Oh hell, he could smell me.

Stupid body betraying me.

Stupid me for believing in him.

Stupid me for believing that I could change him.

Feeling my arms give out I wait for the solid crash but it never comes; I'm floating. Losing my battle I feel my eyelids flutter and I whisper one last plea, before I succumb to the darkness he created for me;

"Don't break my heart."


Bolting up I slam a hand over my heart and another over my mouth muffling a shrill scream. Taking tearful breaths I open my eyes to look around; I am tucked up in bed alone.

Pulling back the covers I notice I'm dressed only in one of Mac's new shirts and my underwear.

'I wasn't dreaming. That really happened..'

Throwing myself out of bed I make for the mirror in my bathroom, only for my legs to give out.

Determined I crawl the rest of the way, choking on my own sobs. Pulling myself up using the sink I marvel through teary eyes at the red collar Mac has given me. Tracing it gently I wince and retract me hand.

"It will fade soon enough."

At his voice and silent appearance in my threshold I release a shrill scream and cower away from him.

We stare at each other; fear in my eyes and vacancy in his. No one moves or breathes.

"What do yo-"

"I'm sorry. You have gotten into my head, Miss Stella."

"It's my fault?! So that's why you attacked me?!" I shout, fear replaced by strength and blind anger.

Idiocy really. Killing machine vs Cop. I think I know who I'd put my money on.

But right now I don't care. I'm a demon in human form.

His silence deafens me and I scream at him again.

"TELL ME WHY!"

"I needed to know, if you were true. I've never had someone.. You're my.." He grinds his teeth in annoyance and runs his hand through his hair.

"What? Punching bag? Rag doll?!" I spit at him, watching as snarl graces his sculpted features.

"I don't even know. But I will not hurt you again."

"I can't believe that. Not after this!" I whisper harshly, gesturing to my raw neck.

At this his eyes grow dark and his face smoothes. He reaches me in two short strides, tilting my head up softly and wincing. Flinching away from him I bat at his hand. He curls his hand into a tight fist and slams it into the wall beside my head.

"You mess with my programming, Miss. My instincts tell me to get close to you. To trust you. But I've been trained not to Ma'am. You make me feel human when I know I'm not. And it's scaring me." He admits, a blush crossing his cheeks.

And just like that my fragile Adonis rebuilds his fractured image

Carefully he places a hand on my cheek, his stormy eyes searching mine.

"I will not hurt you, because you're the only potential mate I have ever come into contact with."

"Don't expect me to just accept your apolo-"

'Wait? What?'

"Sorry did you say, 'Mate'?"


There you have it.

Please review, PM or follow.

Next chapter will be up soon.

-Mme Starlight x