It had been exactly a week since our 'almost' night. I've apologised numerous times to Emma, and tried once again to explain, but she's still acting different. She says she's fine, and that she understands, but I can't help get this feeling that something has changed between us. Maybe she's afraid that I only want the old Emma back? That I can only love the old Emma? Which isn't true, I tried to explain this to her. She is my Emma, she will always be my Emma. Do I want back the way it used to be? Of course, who wouldn't? But, if this Emma never remembers what she used to be, I will love this Emma too. I want her, no matter what she remembers. I tried explaining this to her; it's not that I don't want to be with this Emma when we make love, it's the fact that I want her to love me, either one of her. I just want her to love me first. I want that love to be as strong as it used to be, whether or not it is the same, it can still be just as strong. She keeps telling me she gets it, but I know deep down there is still something bothering her.
It's our anniversary today. Before Emma's accident, we had been planning to do something special. Now though, it's not the same. This day doesn't mean the same to Emma as what it means to me. So today is just a normal day. Looking in the mirror in my bathroom, I quickly wipe away a lone tear that has begun to fall down my cheek. Just a normal day. Gathering myself, I make my way downstairs. Halfway down the stairs I swear I can hear music. Wait. Is that? I listen more carefully, trying to decipher the song. That's definitely it!
"Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me, and honestly
My life would suck without you"
Walking into the kitchen I can picture what happened the last time I heard this song. It was our song. We loved it. The last time I listened to it was the day before Emma's accident. We had just finished dinner, and all three of us were in the kitchen, tidying up. It had become a type of ritual of ours; after dinner we would put on the radio and tidy up, the radio was always at a reasonable volume though. On this particular night that song came on. Emma had walked over to the radio and turned the volume right up and began screaming out the lyrics, pointing at me. I had stared at her, pretending like I wasn't impressed. Henry had found the whole thing amusing, and was standing there waiting for my reaction. During the chorus Emma had stood right in front of me, waiting for a reaction, a slightly scared look on her face. She looked adorable. I had moved in a little closer to her, face still stern, and kissed her before spinning around and screaming,
"MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU!" Pointing at Emma, before running up to her and hugging her, spinning her around, and then chasing after Henry. We had spent the rest of the song jumping up and down, dancing and screaming the lyrics as loud as we could, not a care in the world. Emma had named that song "our song", because our lives would suck without each other.
Now though, as I enter the kitchen, it resembles nothing of that night. Emma is sat at the bench, reading a magazine, eating breakfast, no indication that this song ever meant anything to her, to us.
"I love this song." I say, looking at Emma for any reaction.
"Yeah, it's ok I guess." Ow. That hurt. I turn away, trying not to show the hurt I know is displayed on my face. I make myself busy getting breakfast for myself.
"Oh, um Happy Anniversary." I hear from behind me. Spinning around I look at her, completely shocked.
"Excuse me?" I ask stunned.
"Oh um, Henry told me this morning, and then I remembered I saw it on the calendar in my office remember?" she shrugs, looking back down at her magazine.
"Oh, yes, of course. Thank you dear. You too." Well that's two for two. Maybe I should just not talk to her anymore right now; so far it's just been painful.
"Oh, I got you some flowers." I turn to face her again, once again shocked.
"You got me flowers?" I repeat incredulously.
"Yeah, well I figured it's our anniversary and all, so I went and got you flowers. I put them in the hall in a vase." She states matter-of-factly, once again redirecting her attention to her magazine. Walking into the hallway I gasp. There, sitting on the hall table is a vase of my favourite flowers. Walking over to them I lean down and smell that gorgeous scent, gently feeling the softness of the petals. How on earth she managed to choose my favourite kind is amazing, let alone put it in my favourite vase, on the table where I always put my flowers. How did she know to do that? The last time there was flowers in this house was my birthday months ago.
"Emma, they are gorgeous." I respond gratefully, as I move back to the kitchen. "How did you know which vase to put them in, and to put them on that table?" I watch as she looks up confused.
"uh… I don't know, it just seemed like a place for flowers, and that was the first vase I found." Right, of course, nothing to do with the fact that she knew where to put them or which vase. Don't over think things; don't get your hopes up.
"Well, thank you, I love them."
"That's ok." She smiles, before returning back to her magazine. I need to get out of here. I can't deal with her shutting me out today. Yes the flowers were a nice gesture, but everything is too painful today. I stand around the kitchen, staring blindly out the window. By the time I look back towards Emma she has disappeared from her seat and left the kitchen. Great… Ok, bye Emma, I'll see you later. Seriously, sometimes the teenager really shows in her.
Today has sucked. That's not usually a word I would use, but it's the only thing I can think of to describe it. It totally sucked. Work was awful, I had a massive pile of paperwork to do, plus meetings where all they did was yell and scream and not be able to make a decision, then I forgot my lunch, but couldn't get over to Granny's to get something because I was so busy, so I am starving! I decide to duck into Granny's on my way home and pick up a couple of burgers. I don't feel like cooking after today. I just want to eat my burger and go wrap myself in my blanket and read a book.
Pulling into the driveway I notice the house is dark. Fantastic… no one is even home. I grab my bag in a huff and make my way to the front door. As I get closer, I can see a slight glow coming from inside. What is that? Maybe Emma and Henry are watching a movie and didn't notice it had gotten dark already. Opening the door I hear nothing but silence. Surely if they were watching a movie there would be noise, laughter perhaps? The glow looks weird though, unlike a television. Wearily, I make my way further through the house towards the light. As I get to the hallway I notice candles lining the hall, and rose petals scattered across the floor. What was going on? Carefully, I make my way further down the hallway, following the candles and flowers. Eventually I am led outside to the backyard. There a fairy lights everywhere, hanging from the trees, over the porch, it looked beautiful. Then I saw her; Standing on the grass, wearing jeans and her red jacket, God I loved that jacket, I hadn't seen that in so long. She stands there smiling at me, as I slowly make my way towards her. I can't decipher what is going on right now. This is all so surreal.
"What are you doing? What is all this?" I ask, locking eyes with her, trying not to tear up.
"Happy Anniversary Regina." She whispered before leaning in and kissing me passionately.
"You don't have to do this, it's ok." I whisper back.
"Regina," she spoke again, cupping my face with her hands, looking deeply into my eyes, I stared back at her, and thought I saw something different in the way she looked at me. Was it love? Did she love me? No, that's not possible, not after everything that has happened. After moments of just staring into her eyes, not saying anything, she laughs and takes my hand. "Follow me."
We walk over to the middle of the garden where a picnic blanket has been set up, a plate of…was that... Apple turnover?
"Emma, you didn't have to do all this." I say, squeezing her hand. This looked so perfect. It was so perfect. "Did you make apple turnover?"
"Yeah, I thought it suited." She replied smiling mischievously at me. I go to speak again, but she puts a finger to my lips, shushing me.
"I love you." I stare at her, I had waited so long to hear those words from her again, but I couldn't help fight the feeling that she was only saying it because she felt like she had to.
"Emma…" I started, but once again she shushes me.
"I love you, I have always loved you." She says, taking both my hands in hers.
"Emma, don't, please…." I can't do this. I have wanted this for so long, but hearing it now, it's more painful than I ever imagined. I want my Emma back, and I know, I know that it takes time, and I know that she's trying, and I know she's the same person, but she's not. She may look like her, and have some of the same qualities, but it's not her, I want MY Emma saying she loves me, not part of her, ALL of her. "Why are you doing this? This isn't really OUR anniversary. To you we've been together around a month, not a year. I'm sorry, I can't do this." I cry, trying to tear my hands away, but she holds on tightly, not letting me move.
"Why am I doing this? Regina, I am doing this because I promised I would never leave. It is our anniversary; I even made your favourite 'evil queen' dessert. I am doing this because I love you, I am never leaving you and I promise I am going to spend forever loving you."
"Wait, what did you just say?" I ask confused. Surely she didn't just say that. She couldn't know that. Could she? I search her face, trying to find anything that can help make sense of this.
"I am saying that I love you. One year ago today, we sat here, and I told you that I loved you. I told you that I would never leave, and that I would spend forever loving you." She smiles mischievously at me, like she is waiting for me. I stare at her, unbelieving. "What's the matter love? Don't you remember? I would think that night would be pretty hard to forget, especially with what happened after I said that I love you."
"You remember?" I whisper quietly, not sure if this is happening or if I am dreaming. Please don't let me wake up now. She lifts my chin slightly, so my eyes are in line with hers.
"I remember… everything." She whispers back. I want to scream with excitement, I want to kiss her, and tell her how much I've missed her, and yell at her for putting me through that, but I can't do any of that. Next thing I know I am sobbing, and Emma is cradling me on the ground. "I'm sorry. It's ok, it's ok."
"I missed you so much" I manage to say between tears, "I thought I lost you, I … I thought..."
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Emma is crying now too.
After finally calming down, I look up at her, and raise my hand to wipe away the tears on her cheeks.
"I missed you." We lay down on the blanket, my head on her chest, fingers entwined and resting on her stomach.
"Emma?" I ask quietly. "When did you remember?" I lift my head to look at her, waiting for the answer.
"Well, remember when you rejected me last week?" I feel myself blush and hide my face in her shirt. I feel her chuckle before she continues, "Well when I went to bed that night I was thinking about what you said, and thinking about everything that had happened. When I went to sleep I had a dream… but it wasn't really a dream… it was like memories, and we were together, and you were kissing me, and then I woke up and it was like nothing ever happened. I was me again!"
"A whole week?! Why didn't you tell me?" How could she go a whole week without telling me?
"At first I was going to, but then I remembered it was our anniversary soon, and I thought what better anniversary present could I get you?" I could feel her playing with my hair as she spoke.
"Wait a second. So you pretended to have amnesia for another week so you didn't have to buy me an anniversary present?" I joke, playfully slapping her stomach.
"Hey! I got you flowers too!"
"So it wasn't a coincidence! What about the music?" I ask, suddenly sitting up and looking at her.
"No it wasn't a coincidence. Our song? I thought it was a nice touch." She grabbed my waist and pulled me down on top of her. "My life would suck without you..." She starts singing before I crash my lips onto her, immediately deepening the kiss.
"Seriously, it really is our song you know?" I whisper, "Life did suck without you. I mean, your teenage self was fun and all, and she could play guitar, but I missed you, and it sucked."
"I know, but I will always come back to you. I'm not going anywhere."
So this was the last chapter for this story! I hope you all enjoyed it! I know I loved writing it! Thankyou for all your reviews! :) Thankyou for reading!