Disclaimer: As much as my family and I have watched the movies (see: the parts where Harry and Marv get their butts handed to them by a kid), neither I nor anyone I know own Home Alone or White Collar or that moment.
!Warning!Warning! : Do not picture what Culkin looks like now, picture what you think Kevin would have grown up to look like if he grew up on the 'straight and narrow' (Or at least as much as he can) : !Warning!Warning!
"FBI has offered no statement on the recent thefts in New York but many sources are saying they have a lot in common with those reportedly pulled off by Daedalus.
"Daedalus is known for his elaborate set ups, much like his name sake who in Greek Mythology created the Labyrinth. Modern day Daedalus steals from museums and private collections. 1 week later he sends an invitation to the local or state authority giving only a location. When police arrive they are met with a rather large maze with many traps set within them. While no one has been killed by these mazes, 11 people have been sent to the hospital with serious injuries. Experts say that it is only a matter of time before these trap escalates and someone dies. In the past year since Daedalus has surfaced, five mazes have been run, but only two solved. At the center of the mazes all the objects stolen the week before hand were found. The other stolen artworks, presumably at the center of the unsolved mazes were never found. After two days of attempting to solve the maze the police found the mazes disabled and completely cleared out. Police have not stated how these strange occurrences happened.
"If the recent thefts were pulled off by Daedalus then within the next day the NYPD or FBI should receive an invitation. Tune in tomorrow for more on the Daedalus case, but for now let us visit Shannon in-" *click*
"He's making us look like idiots," Agent Diana Barrigan said, still pointing the remote at the blank T.V. Agent Peter Burke just ran his hands through his hair, staring at the open files before him.
"Mozzie can't even find anything on him," Neal Caffrey sat, feet on the table and hat tipping forward. Several disbelieving looks were sent his way. "Honestly, it's not even just Moz not telling. Daedalus is just that secretive."
"So what now we just wait for him to send us the location!?" an exasperated Agent on loan to the White Collar Division growled.
"Um, excuse me, Agent Burke?" a tall, lean blonde man stood in the doorway. His eyes wondered the group until Peter stood up. "I'm US Marshall McCallister. I was told you had two of my guys? Harry Lime and Marv Merchants."
"Oh yes. We caught them attempting to break into one of the homes we were watching for the Daedalus case," Peter explained. He pointed the Marshall towards the interrogation room the two thieves were being held in.
"I wasn't aware the FBI had Intel on that kind of stuff involving Daedalus. I guess I just always assumed it was random," McCallister laughed leaning against the interrogation doorframe.
"Not usually but we heard some chatter that he was in town so we decided to watch several locations we believed he would hit."
"Guess you chose the wrong spots, huh?" If there was something wrong with McCallister's smirk, Peter put it down to the rivalry other government agents felt towards the FBI.
"Nope, we were right. The bastard was still able to get past us though." McCallister just laughed as he pushed the door open walking in on the two criminals. Truthfully Peter couldn't understand what was so important about the two criminals to warrant a Marshall. They had caught the two men when the taller of the two had tripped on his own shoelaces, knocking himself and his companion into the car with both Peter and Neal in it. He then proceeded to tell them everything the two had planned while the shorter one whacked him repeatedly.
"Hey there, idiots!" McCallister called out cheerfully.
Lime snarled under his breath while Merchants smiled back, "Hey Kid!"
"Congratulations! Six months, that's the longest you've ever been able to keep out of prison once you've escaped." McCallister strode over to the two, uncuffing them and pulling them to their feet.
"Thanks Kiddo," Merchants just smiled stupidly as Lime whacked him again glaring at the Marshall. "Harry says if it hadn't been for that Dead Lass guy we could have made it longer."
If anything McCallister's smirk got worse as he lead them from the room, "Well if I ever meet…Dead Lass I'll be sure to thank him for letting me see your two bright smiling faces again." Lime's scowl got worse before he started screaming.
"If I ever meet that coward I'll kill him! I'll throw him off a roof! I'll light his head on fire!" Lime thrashed about, but McCallister seemed used to it as he calmly lead them down the hall. Peter was fairly impressed at that.
"Aww but Harry, it was just last year you were screaming those things about me," Peter could only watch in horror as US Marshall McCallister literally pouted at the short thief. "At least you're not threatening to brand him. That's still my punishment." Did he seem proud to anyone else? He did seem to be a pro at ignoring the horrified and disgusted looks other agents sent him though.
The Marshall and the thief traded insults as McCallister filled out the transferring papers. Merchants just whipped his head back and forth like he was watching a tennis match. Still in shock at the odd relationship the three had, Peter followed the trio towards the elevator. McCallister paused as he caught sight of Neal. "That your thief consultant?" He wore a rather serious face for a moment as Peter nodded. It changed a split second later to a goofy grin. "Maybe I should get one." Glancing at the two criminals he held, McCallister just laughed, "Never mind. Thanks for all the help Agent Burke!" He called out as the elevator doors open and shut on the three. Peter was fairly sure Merchants was trying to wave at him.
Peter just wondered back to the office and the others. Neal watched him worriedly "Everything O.K. Peter?" Peter just started for a moment. "Did something happen? Peter, what happened?"
"I'm not sure what just happened."
CGR: Me and my family looove Home Alone and I am absolutely fascinated by the thought of Kevin becoming a criminal when he grow up. But also like the thought where he tracks them down. So I merged the two! HAHAHA I am a genius!
Some things I wanted to fit in but couldn't –
Kevin actually ran one of the mazes (one of the two solved) but let himself fall victim to one of the traps ¾ of the way through just for the fun of it. He was one of the 11 sent the hospital.
As much as Kevin likes his traps none of them are actually lethal. The media just blew everything out of proportion. The traps seem deadly but only leave superficial wounds. If anyone actually got killed or maybe just even just seriously hurt from his mazes Kevin would probably turn himself in from guilt. (Then again he could get a rush from it and turn into madman serial killer. Maybe even become the Saw guy hehehe)