KOREA! M*A*S*H 4077th
June 26, 1951

Oh, boy, is it an oven in here or what? And how many of us are bored to tears being isolated from each other? Welcome, everyone, to this edition of M*A*S*H Notes, with your overheated host, Maxwell Q. Klinger! We've got a few things we need to discuss here, other than the heat and the quarantine. There's been nose lifts, possible dishonorable discharges and more. It's a wonderland of news!

And the worst part is, we all owe the Navy some money. The game last week was a bad one and we lost a LOT of bets because we were busy not cheering them on. The Army was sorely defeated and we almost hit the deck with a bomb on the compound. That was some exciting stuff, wasn't it? Well, I for one thought we would have died!

Well, there are some things that need to be covered. Now that General Clayton has traveled back to Seoul, we are free to do some things without his eyes judging us. Five O'clock Charles can be discussed. More obscene obstacles can be briefed about. Reminders can be posted. And, of course, we still have that Bandit to catch! Colonel Blake will surely be on all these topics and more. Now, all I have to do is compile his million indecisions. They are:

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ANNOUNCEMENTS FROM COLONEL BLAKE

Klinger mentioned something we did not get to talk about last week. Since the ammunition dump has moved, Five O'clock Charles has been missing. Now, he is back and aiming for it again. We are asking that we stay away from the area he throws his bombs. All betting will continue this week. The money has been returned from General Barker. He has generously chipped in some cash for his bet too.

Your colonel here also wishes to give you all a friendly reminder that what happens at the 4077th stays at the 4077th! I'd like to think of us as a family who will sometimes get a little carried away when having some fun. We miss our homes, our families and our lives and I am in agreement for letting off a little steam and having some fun. With that being said, I would appreciate that the two gloomy Guses of the group to kindly refrain from stepping over my head to General Mitchell.

Just for the record, I will NOT continue to defend my King Neptune outfit from the recent Mardi Gras celebration from months before. We all know that it was in pure fun. If I happen to offend anyone in our home, I humbly apologize. I had no idea how revealing the outfit would be when Klinger put it together. It was a one-time event. We will plan better for next year's festivities, if we so come to them.

Now, Father Mulcahy has returned from Seoul. He has not been able to obtain any information about Hemorrhagic Fever. I-Corp has stated that they want the 8063rd to retain these patients. For the time being, we have to wait until it's our turn. They will come our way soon. When they do, the good Padre will return to Seoul and try to…well, get whatever we need to combat this disease.

Malaria is on the loose in the villages! There are a few people who still have not taken their Quinine pill. Please see Nurse Kellye for your dose. I DO NOT want to kick anybody's butts after recovery. It's enough that we have to treat the locals and isolate them from the rest of the camp.

I must add that, due to the spreading of the hemorrhagic fever and malaria, I, as your commanding officer, will ask that you refrain from socializing in big groups and distance yourself from anyone who appears to be ill. This will mean that everyone will be advised to stay away from each other as much as they can. Most dates and social hours will be cancelled. Stay tuned for a later announcement…maybe next week…on what I will and will not allow.

Now, if you are feeling ill with the following symptoms: redness of cheeks and nose, fever, chills, sweaty palms, diarrhea, malaise, headaches, nausea, abdominal and back pain and/or breathing problems see one of our finest surgeons immediately. We need to take this seriously!

Now, to the movie we created: I have to thank Captains McIntyre and Pierce for their sabotage. While it was politic to apologize to General Clayton and Lieutenant Bricker for what you put them through, the bits about the war were perfect. It is going to be shown at home, even the parts in the middle. Great job, you two! You are going to be stars!

As to the Army/Navy game, I will NOT go into many details, since I am sure Klinger will cover it later. However, Klinger is right. We need to pay up our half of the bets to the Navy. Radar will be going around, collecting the fair share we owe them. The excuse of a bomb in the camp was NOT accepted by Admiral Clearwater. We must pay up or the Marines will storm our base. That is NOT a joke!

Next, I want to remind all of you that there are Army regulations put into place for a reason. It is my duty to ensure that ALL of you follow them. It is not just RESPECT AND THE ARMY that I have to see through (although the next meeting will be directed by yours truly, for both sessions). It is also about medical procedures that have been desired for and have been rumored to have been conducted around the American bases here in Korea.

It is against Army regulations to have any operation that is elective. Unless it is needed and prescribed by a doctor (like yours truly), then it cannot be done. The Pentagon has been paying for all of your medical care and the pay you receive as medical personnel. They cannot be paying for changes to your body just because you don't like it or want to be somebody different. That is something you need to do on your own nickel and dime.

Lastly, I am happy to announce that Colonel Flagg has left the base! He was informed by the head of the CIA to leave, since the Latrine Bandit was not in his jurisdiction. Lieutenant Walker will remain, however. His questioning of involved parties at certain incidents will be conducted in his quarters. The list of those who are required will be posted shortly.

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Extra! Extra! Read all about it! THE ARMY HAS BEEN HUMILIATED IN FOOTBALL AND TOILET PAPER SUPPLIES! MORE TO COME IN THIS SIMMMERING HOT EDITION!

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Dating Tips from the Nurses
By: Nurse Johnson

Hi, everyone! Many good mornings to you! It is my turn to write the dating tips for this week (Nurse Kellye will do next week, as she has another idea). I have been trying to keep track of all of the ones we've written and I've come up with one that I am sure you are not all aware of.

My tip is to be a good dancer. It does not matter which kind you learn or how bad you are. Ladies love to go out dancing. It could be slow or fast, ridiculous or rational and even new or old. All of us adore to be moving to the rhyme of music. Don't tell me you don't like music either!

It doesn't just make us feel better to be doing something wonderful. It also makes us ladies feel special. We love to be dancing with a lover or swinging back and forth with a friend. It's fun and exciting and good exercise!

In this place, it's very tough. We do have an Officers' Club and it's nice with the jukebox. We all can call out songs. There is some room to dance. In that small space, we girls begin to forget that we are far from civilization and don't have a place to freshen up. To be chosen and in the arms of a man is one special thing indeed. Not to mention, it will make you feel just as special. Someone will love you!

So, learn some steps. Take one of us out and show off your new dancing skills. I mean, there's no excuse! Nurse Kellye and I are trying more than tap dancing and teaching others. Come by and check it out! We'll straighten you out.

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Shower Schedules
By: Corporal Radar O'Reilly

Listen, everyone. This is the schedules I was told to post. It was ordered by Colonel Blake. If you have a problem with it, tell him, not me! And bring me back my glasses. I can't see without them and can hardly see what I am typing.

Women – 0600 to 1200 Hours
Today: Nurses' Tent #2
Tomorrow: Nurses Tent #3
Thursday: Nurses' Tent #1/Major Houlihan
Friday: Nurses' Tent #2
Saturday: Nurses Tent #3
Sunday: Nurses' Tent #1/Major Houlihan
Monday: Nurses' Tent #2

Men – 1200 to 1800 Hours
Today: Enlisted Personnel Tent #2/Swamp Surgeons
Tomorrow: Enlisted Personnel Tent #3/Colonel Blake
Thursday: Enlisted Personnel Tent #1/Father Mulcahy
Friday: Enlisted Personnel Tent #2/Swamp Surgeons
Saturday: Enlisted Personnel Tent #3/Colonel Blake
Sunday: Enlisted Personnel Tent #1/Father Mulcahy
Monday: Enlisted Personnel Tent #2/Swamp Surgeons

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Who Needs to See Lieutenant Walker?
By: Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger

The glasses are still missing, so Radar asked me to put the list up. This time, this young reporter did not need to go into the filing cabinet and steal away the list. But I am hoping, without Colonel Flagg around, that we shall be free of harsh interrogations. So, without further ago, let me present those on the chopping block.

~General Barker
~Nurse Johnson
~Major Houlihan
~Captain McIntyre
~Colonel Blake
~Private Goldman
~Sergeant Rizzo
~Nurse Kellye
~Corporal Jones
~Major Burns

The Latrine Bandit has been reported to I-Corp as important. This man or woman has to be found! It has been almost a year since the toilet paper has been first stolen. Nobody shall be exempt and the Army must have its goods reimbursed. We shall be saved and our butts will no longer be itchy!

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SOME NEWS FROM THE WAR FRONT

~The new offensive has been announced! While the Soviet Union announced peace talks (and made it official) a few days ago, the world will see Korea turn to another fight. Hill 305 is their target and over four hundred men shall come our way in the first few hours. Stay tuned!
~The end of the investigation into MacArthur's dismissal has been completed! While he has been celebrated coming home, his stance on fighting Communism has been criticized. The dismissal has been deemed justified. Right now, Big Mac is looking for another seat – to be president!

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SOME NEWS FROM THE HOME (AND WORLD) FRONT

Wow, what a week it has been! This reporter managed to get all of the goodies from around the world and from home. Let's just say I now owe Sparky a few comics (my usual channels were sick with malaria). But no fear! Klinger can get anything from Toledo.

~On June 19: The Greek poet, Angelos Sikelianos, has died at aged sixty-seven.
~On June 20: Cleveland Indians' Bobby Avila hit THREE home runs, double and single, against the Red Sox.
~On June 21: 17 opens at the Broadhurst Theater in New York for one hundred and eighty performances. Also on this day, Charles Dillion Perrine, American astronomer, died at aged eighty-three.
~On June 22: The show Gene Rayburn & Dee Finch Show premieres on NBC radio.
~On June 23: British diplomats, Guy Burgess and Donald MacLeon, flee to the Soviet Union. Also on this day, Armin Knab, a German composer, died at aged seventy.
~On June 24: The Persian Army took over the nationalized oil installations.
~On June 25: CBS broadcast the first color show of Arthur Godfrey on TV, from New York to four other cities.

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This Day in History
By: Nurse Kellye

Hello, everyone! I hope everyone is having a good morning. Here's this week's events in history.

June 20
~In 1214, The University of Oxford in England received its first charter.
~In 1840, Samuel Morse patents his telegraph.
~In 1938, Alec Guinness wedded actress Merula Sylvia Salaman.

June 21
~In 1788, New Hampshire is the ninth state to ratify the US Constitution.
~In 1834, Cyrus McCormick patents the reaping machine.
~In 1930, Titanic actress Gloria Stuart wedded Blair Gordon Newell.

June 22
~In 1633, Galileo Galilei is forced by the Catholic Church pope to say that the Earth is the center of the universe.
~In 1772, the Somerset vs. Stewart court case in England finds that slavery is unsupported by English common law.
~In 1934, John Dillinger is informally named as America's first Public Enemy Number One.

June 23
~In 930, the world's oldest parliament, the Icelandic Alpingi, is established.
~In 1868, Christopher Latham Sholes patents the typewriter.
~In 1894, The International Olympic Committee is founded in Sorbonne, Paris, France.

June 24
~In 1497, John Cabot claimed Eastern Canada for England, believing he found Asia in Nova Scotia.
~In 1509, Henry VIII is crowned King of England in Westminster Abbey.
~In 1901, Pablo Picasso, aged nineteen, opened his first exhibition in Paris.

June 25
~In 1678, Venetian Elena Cornaro Piscopia becomes the first woman to receive a university doctoral degree.
~In 1876, the Battle of Little Bighorn, also known as "Custer's Last Stand", is enacted, with the Sioux and Cheyenne warriors wiping out the US 7th Cavalry.
~In 1950 (only a year ago!), North Korea invaded South Korea.

June 26
~In 363, Roman Emperor Julian is killed during a retreat from the Saddanid Empire.
~In 1857, sixty-two people are awarded the first issuance of the Victorian Cross for valor in the Crimean War.
~In 1917, the first US troops arrive in France.

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Wait, the Army LOST?
By: Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger

Well, the time came and went and the results were disappointing there and here. The annual Army and Navy football game was conducted at the Municipal Stadium in Philadelphia. With bets on the table against the Navy outside of Inchon, all of us gathered around a radio, to place our hopes into the Army Cadets football team. Led by Coach Erik Blaik, these young men, upset over the firing of General MacArthur, knew that they had to give it their best. They had been losing for most of the season. Their Army co-patriots had to be appeased.

It had been a tough year so far for the Army. A couple of months ago, it was said that there was an Honor Code Violation. The football players for the Army had been sending out unauthorized academic information! This included the coach's son, Bob Blaik.

These men were kicked off the team. New players were called in, who were less familiar with the game and a pretty far distance from the scandal. Until they got to Columbia, the Army lost every game. It was about the same with the Navy. They had a dismal game. The Navy scored two touchdowns before the Army ran an offensive series.

Over in Korea, things were hotter. Our Navy co-patriots were having the time of their lives on the ship. They were all safe and sound while the Marines guarded the Inchon beaches. We here on the mainland had a little run-in…with enemy fire and a bomb in the compound!

As everyone knows, this was no ordinary bomb. This one was blamed on one person or another. The Navy was told to pick it up. The Army was then told to remove it from their friends. Even the CIA supposedly claimed ownership of the missile!

"It was quite the scare," Colonel Blake recalled. "There we were, all ready for the next quarter, when we were hit with this whammy. POW!" He smacked his fist into his other hand.

Captain McIntyre remembers it differently. "Henry went out. Frank fell down. And Radar was cowering in a corner."

"Command is one that is taken seriously," Major Burns defended. "One weighs all of the options carefully and then takes actions. When that bomb hit the compound, we had to act quickly. As lead of this camp after Colonel Blake, I had to…well, make some decisions. Are you putting this in that paper of yours?"

Sometime during the melee, Colonel Blake was injured. Major Burns took control of the camp for a short period of time. Then, someone had to check out the bomb. When straws were drawn, Major Burns took the shortest…and he fainted, ending his tenure of commander of the camp. The task fell to Captains Pierce and McIntyre. That was when they checked it out, got a serial number, and rushed back inside with Colonel Blake, coherent and lucid at long last.

That was when this reporter received missed messages from witnesses. There were nurses taking one more shot with their favorite man. People were hiding behind sandbags and mattresses. Enlisted personnel thought of going AWOL. Poker games were being battled, to decide if the bomb will go off or not. It was chaos!

Finally, word came that the bomb was ours. Colonel Blake managed to get instructions and off our two gallant captains went to defuse it. From several yards away, Colonel Blake gave them directions. At one point, though, he managed to fumble and not read the rest of the list. This stopped the bomb! It was going to go off!

Captains Pierce and McIntyre made a run for it. Everyone ducked or ran. As our brave doctors dove and covered their heads, the bomb exploded…and littered the camp with leaflets!

Give up. You'll never win!

Meanwhile, as we lost the battle for our wits and tried to figure this all out, the Army lost the game. The Navy cheered on their ships. We moaned for such a loss. It was not just the mess we had to clean up. It will soon be Marines at our door, defending their naval partners. They want money and they want it now!

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The Klinger Chronicles Inches to Help!
By: Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger

My fellow friends, I come to you not as a desperate man of escape, but as a pleading man to help support and rally for the much-needed surgery for Private Danny Baker. It is no strange that I too have the same affliction – the gift of a large nose. It is a curse! And I know that Father Mulcahy would say that the God has made us in unique and in his own imagine, but you got to wonder if God have a big honker too. You know that He didn't have trouble with school bullies or the never-ending jokes. It does not go well with your self-esteem.

There are some people here who believe that this type of surgery is not in accordance to the regulations of the Army. Colonel Blake even said so in his announcements. I saw phewie! This surgery is just as necessary as any other surgery that plows through our door. A man is wounded in self-esteem and pride and he needs the right help without the military protocol.

This also goes for those for the simple concept of love. People are entitled to love who they want without feeling less than a man…or woman, in some of your cases. We are on this planet only once in our lifetime and deserve to have a right to love. In my case, it's the love of Toledo, but the sentiment is the same. We have that right and no one can take that away.

So, I beg of you to forgo my escape plans. Please help those in need! This chronicle requires nothing less than your respect of human beings and some money to bring an honorable discharge and a surgery that will bring joy. Be a friend and hold out your hand!

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Weekly Sermon
By: Father Mulcahy

Psalm 9:18 says: But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish.

My sons and daughters, I come with a simple message of hope today. We are in the middle of the crisis: from these fevers that are spreading, the wounded of our fellow men in all aspects of life, to the longing of home. Through this, we must remember to remind diligent in the Lord, follow Him and lean on Him in the times of crisis.

While we have to mostly stay separated during this time (per Colonel Blake's announcement), we are still united as a unit and as a family. We will get through this as we have gotten through many other hard times. I have seen this unit recover from the darkest of times which include the long hours of operations to the strain of being nearer to the enemy lines. The 4077th will always persevere and we will come out stronger than before. God has a special eye on this unit and particularly the people in it.

We are destined for a high power than this, my children. Through this time of isolation, I implore you to depend on Him, connect in a way you never have before and remember that I am here if you need any help in these trying times. God will never forget the needy and neither will I.

Go with God, my children. Have faith this will end! We are in good hands.

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From the Mess Tent
By: Private Igor Stravinsky

This week meal will include eggs that aren't eggs…and plenty of it. We have an overstock of powdered eggs that are calling our names for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Prepare your stomachs for the incoming protein! By request, we can attempt to make them the way you like it. So far, the cook has discovered that the best way to have powdered eggs is, you've guessed it, scrambled and with powdered milk. Just remember, we cannot be held accountable if your request turns into scrambled.

Also, we have been in cahoots with a local Korean family who has agreed to give us some vegetables to go with this meal in exchange for all of the help we've given their grandmother. Vegetables include fresh bok-choi (cabbage), potatoes and corn. If anything comes out of the egg fiasco, we will have just fresh vegetables for once. How exciting is that?

As always, Captain Pierce, complaints can be made directly to the United States Army. I continue to just be the messenger through all of this. You don't need to threaten a riot in the lines.

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Trapp's Movie Review
By: Captain "Trapper" John McIntyre

Boy, is it smoking in here or what? It's not just the heat I am talking or the distance we must keep from each other. We've received a treasure the night before and it has been my pleasure to watch it with my favorite date, Nurse Smith, as we sat eight feet apart. For we have been given the presence of the one and only Marlene Dietrich. The film we were sent?

Morocco!

Morocco!

Can you believe it?!

Set in the wonderful deserts of Morocco in the late 1920's during the Rif War, this classis rolls over the screen as well as Marlene Dietrich does in her masculine top hat and tails. I mean, it has everything the French Foreign Legion wished for – war, love and women. And it also comes with the new headliner, Amy Jolly, played by Marlene Dietrich herself. She meets wealthy La Bessiere (played by the dull Adolphe Menjou) on her way to her new job and buffs his ugly advances.

Later that night, Amy is the new act at a nightclub La Bessiere and the infamous womanizer Private Tom Brown (played by the charismatic Gary Cooper) attend. While Amy is not the class act, she soon attracts the attention of Tom. He claps for her when others do not. He witnesses her kissing another woman and tossing a flower at him. It is pure LOVE for both of them.

Tom is given the chance to see Amy. He takes this opportunity, but is stopped by Adjutant Caesar's wife, who had a past relationship with him. He manages to get past her and meet Amy, but the two are crossed between battles that sent them through emotions, court martials and more. Not to mention, Tom is a soldier. He has to pick up his gun and remember his job sometime. He will have to leave Amy.

Amy is soon stuck with La Bessiere in some engagement I'd break up and misses Tom horribly. Soon, she is out of control. She is drunk all the time and halfheartedly in love with La Bessiere. She doesn't know what to do. But when she learns that Tom truly loves her, there no time lie tomorrow to take on the fight. She will follow her love to the end.

This movie RETCHES of sweetness, gore and betrayal. It also has the wonderful light upon the star, Marlene Dietrich. She is the shining singer and has brought Amy Jolly a life that nobody else could. There was the shimmer in the hair and the shaking hands of a drunk. Her voice is that of an angel. It was mad, I tell you. Utterly mad!

Well, I should say, it's maddening that we all have to be away from each other. Isolation in our own tents can bring upon a shame that Marlene will give to all of us. Our hearts are in the right place, but we might be like Tom and threaten to kill the first person who bothers us!

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Literary Corner
By: Nurse Louise Anderson

Well, Major Houlihan has informed me that the transfer had been cancelled for the time being. This is due to the many illnesses that are springing up across the area. So, we can continue with The Odyssey until this is all over. Now, we are on book nine! As you read it, please think of this:

~This book begins one of four that are flashbacks. What do you think this was done? What is added to the story?
~How does the tone of this book change? Is it softer or harder? Why do you think Homer did this?
~How does the relationship between Odysseus and Polyphemus change? How does it affect Poseidon? Why would this be hubris?
~Do you find Polyphemus more sympathetic at the end of this book? How does he change over the course of this book?
~Some people have called Odysseus cunning and conniving in this book. Do you think so? Why? Why not?

Now, before we move onto books ten and eleven, I have to say that I know that The Picture of Dorian Grey is next, after I am gone. I am suggesting some of you read that now, while you have the chance. There have been complaints about the slowness of The Odyssey and I don't want you all to wait for this Oscar Wilde another treasure just because you don't like Homer. Next week, I will think up some questions for both books.

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Five O'clock Charlie Bets
By: Private Roy Goldman

Radar still can't really see, since he hasn't gotten his glasses back. He asked me to type the bets up. Oh, and that there is $74.39 on board for the person who wins. All of the money has been recovered.

General Barker 63 yards
Colonel Blake: 51 yards
Nurse Dish: 43.1 yards
Captain Pierce: 90 yards
Captain McIntyre: 31 yards
Corporal Klinger: 37.1 yards
Nurse Johnson: 62 yards
Corporal O'Reilly: 80.9 yards
Major Morrison: 41 yards
Nurse Smith: 53 yards
Private Goldman: 71 yards
Father Mulcahy: 43.6 yards
Nurse Morrison: 40 yards
Sergeant Rizzo: 15 yards
Sergeant Zale: 26.4 yards
Nurse Kellye: 49 yards
Nurse Johnson: 41 yards
Private Stravinsky: 30 yards
Sergeant Dotson: 30 yards
Nurse Cain: 13 yards
Nurse Able: 32.7 yards
Private Henderson: 50 yards
Nurse Baker: 53.8 yards

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ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MAJOR BURNS

I wanted to set the record straight for the good of the outfit. I never participate in this trash and have to be responsible. Due to recent events, I have to announce that it is my civic duty as both an American and a soldier to find the culprit who were in charge of the illegal nose job that had occurred here. I have a pretty good feeling who it is, but with this rathole, it could be multiple people and suspects I would never suspect.

It is your duty to come forth or report the guilty party. You cannot hide behind disorder. It is also an order!

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ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MAJOR HOULIHAN

There will be a meeting for the nurses at 1800 hours tomorrow night. This is NOT a general staff meeting. No enlisted personnel or doctors are required. This will be to discuss new procedures the Army has in place for the women. This will include a practice drill, so please bring your helmets.

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Vote! Should Public Punishment be Legal?
By: Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce

It has come to the attention of some in this camp that there is disfunction amongst us that cannot function. Because of this, a proper punishment needs to be merited. But how, you ask, shall this be done? Publicly, I say! In front of everyone, I decree!

But I cannot put that in stone. I, Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce, do solemnly swear that I am up to good and that good is for the good of this realm. This new mission is to see if public punishments should be legal on this base. Yes, everyone should be punished by the high and mighty Book of Morales. However, one must be seen to be shamed in order for it not to be done again.

The vote has been set to four people so far. The question shall be posed to all on these premises and the results will be put in the next edition, if Klinger manages to get all of our responses put down in time. For the time being, you shall have the results of those whose opinions should matter.

Yes – 75%
No – 25%

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NOTE FROM THE LATRINE BANDIT!

You still can't catch me! What are you, Dr. Watson in a cloud of smoke? Get your head out of the flyboys' skies. The current grounds are where you need to stick to. You might have a sticky mess at your feet.

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MESSAGES TO THE ONE I LOVE…IN CAMP

To Peaches & Cream:

There is nothing that can stop us now. Nobody will be looking. Come to the first left and then the third right. It'll be the spot where we first met. I'll be waiting.

Truest of True Patriots

~00~

Secret Summer Pal,

Why don't you come down and learn some tap dancing? Then, we might be able to tap away from trouble. Just keep eight feet away from me. I don't want to catch what you have. I am sure you have something I don't want and it's not malaria a fever. It's a rash.

Nurse Kellye

~00~

Nurse Wistful,

I have something blonde in my footlocker. I think it's hair color or a wig. I can't tell what it is. It's stuffed in a box, sent by my Uncle Zach. He is still trying to help me get out of the Army. Will that work out?

Klinger

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Reply Memo

To: Colonel Blake
From: One Delicious Dish

Message: Sometimes, the dish chooses the course. Let me have a turn, will you?

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DEAR AUNT SADIE

Dear Aunt Sadie,

I am really sad. A friend of mine and I (amongst many others, including two doctor friends) have met a man who has fought pretty good for us. But gee, he has been beaten up by his own unit! He said that he and another man always get a fist in their faces because they are different. This man loves someone that nobody else does.

It is not fair, Aunt Sadie! Why can't people love whoever they want? I mean, it's not normal. At least that's what the Bible says, right? But does God love the man anyway? With all that he has done for everyone, can't God look the other way and let him go to heaven when he dies? I mean, does it matter? Is it really a sin?

Scared and Confused Teddy Bear

~00~

Dearest Teddy Bear,

I can understand your frustration, confusion and fear. There are many things out there that are not in the Bible or the reference to them is pretty bad. But fear not! It is not a bad thing to disagree with the Good Book. You can say it means you are growing up.

The Bible is not a way of living (not literally anyway), but it helps people believe in something and is there when they need help. In this case, the Bible cannot help us because it is wrong. It may be a sin to love someone else you're not supposed to, but love is something God gave us. Love makes the world go round and loving someone is not a sin.

Once you know that love is universal, then you can understand why you are confused. You do not need religion to do the right thing. You need kindness, compassion and love. Definitely, God will want us to show those to others who need it. Don't you think?

Aunt Sadie

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WEATHER

Today: It is not right that we have to stay in our tents during this awful time! It's a hot and humid one, with temperatures close to ninety-two. There will be no rain tonight and temperatures in the eighties. Where are those fans?

Tomorrow: Well, I sure hope that Colonel Blake sets us free. It's going to be the same as today, but with temperatures reaching one hundred and two! Can the oven go away? I mean, the night temperatures will be ninety-two.

~00~ ~00~

Whew! That was a hot one! Boy, am I glad we can have a little fun while keeping away from each other…if we can. While surgery will be difficult (and I feel for anyone stuffed into that small room), we can still appreciate the magic we create as a family. This edition was smoking and we have more to come!

Next week is Independence Day. Colonel Blake has something special planned for the day, but I cannot say anything now. All I will say is that July 3 will not have an edition. We will have a special edition the next day! All the surprises will be revealed then.

Right now, though all I wish for is a cold bath and some shade. It sure will beat KP this afternoon and running around on distant guard duty in the evening. Is there such thing as a break? Oh, well, until next week, stay cool and out of trouble! Nobody needs to get sick on my watch.