81Okay this is the last chapter. I hope everyone likes the last thing I chose to describe Hisa-Chan. Thank you to those who followed me and thank you: bijective and invertible, Miyako826, Black Cat, Ichiruki178, ILoveSnakes, Maria, Amy, Jester Pester, Ichiru Kiryuu, Crazynut case, KuranKaname24, ByaxHisa4eva125, Andrea and of course the one who prods me every single day to make another ByaHisa chapter or story, Taichichaser2000 for reviewing.
Five Things
Chapter 5
Kuchiki Byakuya's mind was clouded with thoughts and memories. One last thing to describe his dear, deceased wife. One last thing. Why was it so hard? Why were there so many good qualities in Hisana? He looked at Rukia who basically had impatience branded in her eyes.
"Rukia, if I told you I can't come up with another factor," he said observing as disappointment etched all over her face. "That would be a lie."
"Nii-Sama," Rukia began but then paused but was then interrupted.
"Hisana," said Byakuya his eyes going cold again. "hated herself."
Rukia's eyes widened. "Sh-she hated herself?"
"With all her heart, Hisana despised herself for abandoning you. She'd go to Rukongai every chance she got and spend hours searching for you."
Rukia looked down. "I was a burden to her. Why would she feel like that towards herself?"
"Because Hisana," he paused and then sighed. Rukia lifted her head to look at her Nii-Sama eye to eye. "Because Hisana loved you more than anyone or thing in this world."
Rukia felt her eyes water. Her sister, Hisana, loved her. "B-but," she stopped when she saw her Nii-Sama's eyes closed. He seemed sad.
Flashback
"Where is Hisana?" he inquired to a servant as soon as he entered his part of the Kuchiki Estate.
"Hisana Josei left early this morning to Rukongai," the servant said, following Byakuya as he walked into Hisana's quarters.
"What time?"
"Right after you left."
Byakuya opened his eyes. It had been more than eleven hours since the time he'd left. This was the longest she'd spent in Rukongai in weeks. Were her nightmares getting stronger? "I'll be back. If the nobles ask where I went, tell them I went back to Sixth Division to pick up papers that I forgot."
"Hai," said the maid to herself as Byakuya disappeared before her eyes. She sighed. She just hoped she could prevent the nobles from finding out.
Byakuya flash stepped so fast that in a minute or two he was already in Inuzuri. He looked around as he walked. How he hated this part of Rukongai. He saw kids fighting for a piece of raw fish. Babies crying of hunger on the back of their stressed mothers. Old men sleeping on the side of the streets. Young men drinking to their hearts content. He stopped in a corner when he saw young children eating pieces of bread from the street across him. In Inuzuri, children barely ate anything other than fish. Hisana must be near. He watched as they began to fight over the last piece. It was cruelty how the elder kid would manage to beat the others and eat the small piece of bread for himself. Byakuya felt his heart become warm as he saw Hisana come out from a shaft with more pieces of bread. She was beautiful. Almost like a graceful dove. She divided it evenly and watched as the children ate it quickly. She ruffled their hairs and told them something Byakuya could not hear. All the kids began to pout at the same time and her face seemed to darken. She said something else and all the children cheered. Byakuya looked at his wife's face. He knew what was wrong. He began walking towards her and immediately she looked at him. Unlike other times though, her eyes were not sparkling but she was smiling.
"Byakuya-Sama!" she chimed. It was music to his ears, but he knew she was not as happy as she looked. "Why are you here?"
"It is about to be dark, Hisana," he simply replied.
She nodded and bid the kids farewell. Walking by the side of her husband, Hisana looked down at her sandals. Byakuya gently took hold of her hand and gave it a squeeze, but she still didn't look up. He sighed. She was really sad today.
"What is wrong?" he asked slowly as they approached the exit of Inuzuri.
"I- I," she began but suddenly there was a blood-chilling scream. Hisana let go of Byakuya's hands and ran towards the direction, her husband following close behind. Hisana gasped as she saw a child, drowning in the ocean. It was a girl and she had black hair. Rukia. She abruptively took off her sandals and jumped into the water, swimming towards the child. You are alive, Rukia. I knew it. The current was strong and she could feel herself being pushed farther from the child. She was swimming with all her might. The child, whose face she couldn't see, extended her hand. Hisana swam faster and used more force. I am coming, Rukia. Her hand grasped the child's and Hisana turned around and began swimming toward shore. The current was pushing her back with so much force. She felt a strong hand hold hers and the next thing she knew, she was on shore. Breathing hard, she sat up. It was officialy dark now. Rukia! She grabbed the child and disappointment overtook her. It wasn't Rukia. The child had black hair but her eyes. They were balck. Rukia's eyes were violet.
Byakuya saw it in his wifes eyes again. She looked at him and he felt his heart drop. It was resentment. Anger. It plauged her eyes. "Hisana."
"It's not her, Byakuya-Sama," she said. He could see how she wanted to cry. They were both soaking wet. Her lower lips were trembling now. "Let's go home Byakuya-Sama. This child will take care of herself in the morning."
He nodded and in the moonlight, both of them shunpoed home. Once they entered their part of the estate, two maids rushed to their sides.
"Would you like towels to dry yourselves?"
"A new change of clothing?"
"You are dismissed for the day," Byakuya said coldly and grabbed Hisana's hand. The maids watched in awe as the couple left them. They entered the Sakura Tree Garden and both sat under a tree. The moonlight was powerful. He could see Hisana's face perfectly. The frown that etched her pink lips. Her silky hair which was still wet from swimming. Her kimono was not that wet since she was wearing a thick haori on top of it. He, on the other hand, was dripping water.
He looked at her eyes. Hisana's eyes. There was no gentleness or happiness. No peace or kindness. They were cold and filled with hatred.
"Hisana," he began but then stopped as water puored down from her eyes rapidly. He pulled her closer to him but she resisted.
"Stop, Byakuya-Sama," she said as she wiped her tears. "I- I don't know why." She paused and began crying harder. "I hate myself, Byakuya-Sama. Why did I leave her? What was I thinking? Why was I so greedy? We could've made it! One way or another, I should have tried harder. Why? Why did I leave her?! I don't understand."
He attempted to hold her again but she stood up. "I don't deserve you Byakuya-Sama. You married a monster. I left my baby sister. I abandoned her. I should have tried to make it. Now even if I find her how am I going to say sorry and that I love her. She'll hate me. Is she even alive? I've searched and searched, but.."
Byakuya stood up and hugged her. Now Hisana did not try to squirm away or anything she just cried harder. Her heart was pounding violently against his chest and she began crying harder by the minute.
"I hate myself. I hate myself. Why, Byakuya-Sama? Why didn't I hold her closer to me and try harder? How hard would it have been? Even if we starved together at least she'd know I loved her. What was I thinking?"
Byakuya's eyes were looked the same as always, but inside, he was being torn apart. Hisana's words pained him. They were shreddering his heart into nothing. She had grown silent but that didn't change the fact that she was crying. He sat her down and looked at her. She was looking at him but she wasn't seeing him. All she saw was her leaving Rukia in that shanty.
"Hisana, look at me,"
Her eyes slowly began clearing up but she was still distant. "I-I hate myself."
He felt a sharp pain in his chest. "Stop saying that."
"I am the only thing I hate in this world."
Another sharp pain, but stronger. "Hisana, that is it."
"Why should I? It is the truth, Byakuya-Sama and you know that."
His heart was torn again. How many times was she going to tear his heart apart that day? "Hisana, you were a child. So young. You didn't know how to take care of a child. You had never felt love from a mother or father. How did you expect to take care of her?"
"I still should have tried."
"When you first told me about Rukia, you said that after a day you returned to where you had left her with food, but she wasn't there. You had returned, Hisana. You didn't abandon her! You went back to give her the food you found."
Hisana shook her head. "I had abandoned her. I had intention of going back, but when I found the food I thought of her. She- she disappeared from where I left her. What if someone killed her? What if-"
"Hisana, what does your heart say?"
Tears dropped from her cheeks. "Sh-she is alive. I feel her. She is somewhere out there, but where."
"We'll find her, Hisana." He gently hugged her again. "I promise we'll find her and give her a better life."
"She'll hate me, Byakuya-Sama. With all her heart."
"She won't. She'll understand. She'll love you."
"I don't think she would, Byakuya-Sama. But, I love her."
Tears came out faster again. "I love Rukia, Byakuya-Sama. With all my heart."
"Whatever you love, Hisana, I love. We will find Rukia and give her the life she deserves."
"Thank you," she whispered. Byakuya rubbed her back, soothingly.
"Don't ever say you hate yourself again, understood?"
No response.
"Hisana?"
"Byakuya-Sama, that is something I can't promise."
His heart skipped a beat.
"Even after we find Rukia. Even after she lives a happy life. I will always loathe myself for the horrible deed I did. No one can change that."
Byakuya hugged her tighter. "I love you, Hisana."
There, under a sakura tree and full moon, the couple stayed.
Her Nii-Sama opened his eyes. "That is all I will tell you."
Rukia looked at her brother. "Can I ask you one last thing?"
Kuchiki Byakuya's heart wavered. What would she ask? He nodded.
"Did she stop hating herself before she died?"
"No. She said she would never be able to forgive herself for what she did to you."
Rukia's eyes watered. "One more question, Nii-Sama. May I list out everything you told me about her?"
He sighed and nodded.
"My sister," she began! "could cook better than anyone."
He nodded and his heart started pounding a little faster.
"My sister, loved cherry blossoms."
He closed his eyes.
"My sister was an artist."
Rukia could see he was fighting a smile.
"My sister loved cats."
Rukia could see him grimace at the word 'cat'.
"and my sister," she paused. "My Hisana-Nee." Byakuya opened his eyes. "She hated herself for leaving me. She-she loved me."
Byakuya stood up.
"Hisana-Nee loved me. With all her heart, Hisana-Nee loved me." She stood up, tears in her violet eyes. She looked atbher brothers gray eyes. "I love her too."
Byakuya's expression didn't change. He just continued to look at his sister.
"I love her," Rukia repeated, smiling.
Silence filled the room. "Arigato, Nii-Sama. I feel like I know my Hisana-Nee know. I will leave you alone and attend to some matters of my division. Rukia left Byakuya alone in his room. He opened one cabinet and took out the sheet of paper Hisana had written on the day he asked for her secret recipe. He sighed. He would give the world for Hisana to hear her sister say that. The world and maybe more.
He sat down again and took out a sheet of paper. He wrote down the words that he wished he could say to his wife to face-to-face again.
I love you, Hisana. I will always love. Let centuries after centuries pass, but you will be the only woman I will ever love this way.
(A/N So there. My first FanFiction story complete. Thank you to all my reviewers and followers for supporting me. Maybe there will be a sequel because, just as how Miyako826 pointed out, Hisana must've had many good qualities. Please check out my other story All Because of, and leave a review. Also check out The Difference Between a Noble and a Shinigami by my sister, Taichichaser2000. Oh yeah and I apologize for any OOC)