Chapter 1:

I've been trying to be happy, I really have. But, my magick. I can't. If I show- I stopped writing in mid-sentence as the green and red glowing ball of light that was my teammate barged in.

"Raven, friend!" Starfire flew into my room, hands clasped over her chest happily, "I bring to you joyous news!" I looked at her, my purple/indigo cape shadowing my face. I tried to subtly slide my journal under the blankets that covered my bed. Her vibrant green eyes met my amethyst. "We are going to the ground of fairs! Let us go and get ready!" The red head grabbed my pale hands and pulled me through my bedroom door. Beast Boy and Cyborg were on their way to the living room. I gave them a quick look, trying to beg for help, but I couldn't form the emotion.

Cyborg and Beast Boy stopped for a moment, and then continued on with their conversation. However my green teammate's eyes never left mine. Not until the connection was severed by the wall.

You so like him, Happy sang in Nevermore, the recesses of my mind. Her pink cloak was swinging behind her as she spun around with Love, an emotion that I've only seen on one other occasion. The images of Malchior before and after flashed through my mind, almost dragging a tear from my mind and through my eyes. I shook them all away, not wanting the happy, yet naïve girl to worry. She dragged me into her room and gently brushed Silkie, her mutant moth that she has kept as a pet since our fight against Killer Moth.

Starfire flew into her closet and started looking at the different clothes that she had. Discarding some into a quickly growing pile at my feet. She was mumbling to herself when she hit me with a pretty dark purple dress. I walked over to the vanity she had adjacent to me. Holding the dress against my body, I saw it reflect the bold color of my eyes. The contrast was very apparent, but I didn't mind it. I kept my expression blank but I could feel Happy cheering as she looked through my eyes.

"Friend Raven," Starfire said quietly, a large smile on her face, "Would you please wear that? Please put it on?" I ducked my head, thankful that my hood was hiding the heat that was slowly rising to my face. I nodded before floating into the bathroom to change.

I can't believe I'm doing this I thought to myself. I covered myself again before floating back to Starfire's room. When I uncovered myself, the glowing Tamaranean gasped in joy. I turned and looked at myself in the mirror again. The dress really was gorgeous. The thin sleeves were comfortable as they laid on my pale shoulders and it hugged my body nicely until it flared at my waist. It flowed down gently before stopping at my knees. My eyes slowly looked at my body again before settling on my face. Only one word came to mind: Pretty. A slow smile crept onto my face, causing the young energy girl to squeal in joy and happiness.

"You look beautiful, Raven!" She flew in circles, pirouetting in mid-air.

"Thank you," the small whisper escaped my lips before I could stop the pink heat from rising to my ashy skin. Starfire guided me to sit in front of her dresser, which was decorated with a small assortment of make-up. The redhead turned me away so I couldn't see my reflection. The Tamaranean girl looked at me like an artist a blank canvas. She was mumbling to herself and had her tongue stuck out in a comical way as she painted my face. She commanded me to keep my eyes close, in a way that was completely adorable, and I felt the air rush away from me as I was whiplashed around.

A beautiful girl with purple eyes and blue purple hair stared at me. Or better yet, stared back at me. I slowly reach up to touch my face and was started as the girl did as well. My eyes were lightly decorated with golden specks hidden within a caramel brown base. My skin had a slightly peachy hint to it and my lips as well. The only thing much different were my eyes, I realized, staring at my reflection. I was I momentary shock that I forgot to thank Star for the masterpiece she had created.

I gave her a small hug, which she returned quickly. She got changed into a pair of jeans, which I never knew she own, and a pink tank top, again one that I didn't know she owned. She put on a light pink shade of lip gloss that looked natural on her. She and I left her room, laughing about the night's up-coming events. We arrived at the living room with the usual sight.

Beast Boy, in jeans and a normal white t-shirt, sat next to Robin, who wore sunglasses, a red jacket over a green t-shirt. Cyborg sat on the other side of the green changeling. "Come on, BB, you should realize you're going to lose," Robin smiled, fiddling with the controller in his hands. His messy hair going everywhere as Robin lurched forward.

"Robin! That's not fair. You cheated!" Beast Boy bellowed as his car was left charred, only to spawn a few moments later. Cyborg, wearing his rings that turned him into Victor Stone, was holding third controller. All three were trying to run the other two off of the track. He only laughed as he crossed the finish line first. With Robin and Beast Boy shortly behind him.

"Boo-yah!" Cyborg bellowed happily, sticking a fist to the air.

Starfire and I stood in the doorway, still going unnoticed. At least until Beast Boy turned around. His grassy green eyes met mine, his jaw hanging open. Robin turned and spotted Starfire, but my eyes were still connected to the green changeling that was staring back at me. Suddenly I felt subconscious as Timid stepped forward, her grey cloak not the most vibrant of my emotions but stood out enough that she didn't have to clear everyone to reach me.

He's staring. What does that mean? Is it good? Oh, it's probably not a good thing, Timid's small voice reached me in waves and I only wished I had my cloak and hood to cover my body from his eyes. His single canine stuck out of his mouth when his lips finally met, only to separate again into a smile. And with a shock, I realized it was directed towards me.

Beast Boy vaulted the coach easily, with Robin right behind him, and Cyborg him. The two boys stopped in front of me and the happy red head, as Cyborg was already heading to the T Car. Robin easily and quickly offered her an arm as Cyborg was down the hall, threatening to leave us here if we didn't hurry up. This left Beast Boy and me alone. Filling the rooming to the ceiling with awkward air. Please, just walk to the garage, Timid spoke again, pulling the cape further around her, tightening her grip on it so much that her knuckles were almost transparent.

"You look, really nice, Rae," Beast Boy scratched the back of his neck. I couldn't tell if it was out of nerves or what? Even so, I couldn't stop the blush that was racing up my neck and heating my face. I ducked my head and smiled. The words just wouldn't rise past with my heart beating feverously in my throat. I finally lifted my chin; I saw Beast Boy standing next to me, offering me an arm. He so likes you, Happy sang in my head, spinning Timid around, who even cracked a partial smile. My hand slid around the crook of his arm, resting on his bicep. He guided me out of the Tower, and down to the garage, surprisingly taking his time. His smile never left his face as his eyes raked my body. I didn't feel subconscious anymore; his gaze left warm trails throughout my body.

The T Car was blasting music, it sounded like Lifehouse or someone else, when we finally arrived. I didn't realize that my hand was still on the green Titan's arm until Starfire and Robin looked at us, smirking. I slowly slipped my hand away; Happy and Timid screaming at me in Nevermore. But it was a short moment before Beast Boy took my hand to help me into the custom built vehicle. His hand was soft beneath mine as I took my seat next to the couple of the Team. I watched from the inside as Beast Boy hurried to the opposite side to climb in next to Cyborg.

"What?" I heard him whisper to Cyborg, trying to speak through the music.

"Nothing, B" Cyborg smile as he leaned back into the driver's chair. "Nothing at all," His eyes flashed to the rearview and met mine for a second before he readjusted the mirror to back out. I turned my head and stared at the ever familiar scenery, falling into Nevermore. The slightly changing alcove of my mind has always housed my emotions. But I was met only by a few Ravens when I appeared. Happy, her pink outfit twirling as she danced and sang. Timid, her normal grey cloak tight around her as she tried to avoid pink Raven's dance. Love only smiled knowingly from her place, sitting on a rock, her purple cape fell behind her.

"Rae? Raven? Hey?" Robin and Starfire were shaking me. Finally my eyes readjusted and I saw their faces, faces filled with worry.

"Friend Raven, are you okay? You did not respond." Vibrant green eyes were close to my face as Starfire leaned towards me to inspect me. I nodded and she visually sighed. "Good. Friend Raven is good," She turned and told the rest of the car.

Cyborg was already in the process of getting out of the car, along with Beast Boy and Robin. Worry filled everyone's eyes, but Beast Boy's didn't meet mine. They refused to meet me. And I only wanted to reach out to him, to tell him that I am okay. But I knew I had to contain the feelings that I couldn't quite comprehend. At least yet.

I finally climbed out of the car, making room for Starfire and Robin to pass me by. Cyborg joined them as they continued to walk to the fair. "You okay, Raven," Beast Boy spoke softly, tenderly towards me. Instinctively, my arms held my body, as my nerves only shattered what confidence I had when the changling's worried eyes met mine. His arm slipped to my back as he turned me to him, his hand warm and comforting on my back. "Raven," his voice was like a caress, the only caring and thoughtful voice I've heard, as he gently spoke to me, "You don't have to go if you don't want to." My eyes finally met his. The sympathy seemed to embrace me, holding me without the touch that I ever so craved. A simple nod was all he needed, right? I ducked my head down, trying to hide my fear of him turning away from me. "Rae," a single finger coaxed my head back up, "You can turn away. I'll be right there with you."

"Garfield," I whispered his real name. His moved a stray lock from my face, a smile written across his. I went to open my mouth again, but Cyborg called us to him.

Beast Boy offered his arm to me. He bent down, his mouth close to my ear and he whispered a simple sentence but all the while, a shiver ran down my spine. "Raven, just stick with Garfield tonight. I'm not a Titan here; I'm just a regular teen. Okay?" With my voice failing me, I nodded.

Robin told us the same thing; Dick and Kori wandered to the food, Kori's red hair flowing freely behind her; Victor went off to the games. Garfield gently took my hand in his before we quickly walked towards the ride. A blush crept towards my face, threatening to make me lightheaded. I looked at our hands, and then looked at the green teenager next to me; "So I won't loose you," he reassured with a wide smile, his one sharpened tooth sticking out. I nodded and trailed behind him as he dragged me through the crowds.

Every so often, people would stop and stare at us, but they never said anything to us. We saw Jinx and Wally, both respected Teen Titans. They smiled and waved warm heartedly at us as we passed by them. I started to feel a little more comfort to Garfield's ever present touch, as he had still not released my hand. And slowly I realized, I didn't want him to. No matter how the eternally nagging concern of my emotions/powers pulled at me.

I can control it, I can control it, I told myself repeatedly until I completely forgot about my powers and acting like a regular teenage girl. Instead, I became the regular teenage girl I so desired to be. I played games against Garfield and everything felt right. We saw Mammoth, who officially goes as Baran since he left the Hive Five. He was hanging out with See-More, who also left the Hive Five and changed his name to Seymour. It was refreshing to see that even the most infamous teenagers could hang out and be real. The thought caused to me to hug Garfield's arm to my body. I felt his shock and his joy before I saw the warm blush on his face.

"Rae, before we leave for Titans Tower, I want to go on one final ride with you," His smile was obvious as he gently dragged me towards the ticket booth, purchasing 8 tickets. He handed me my four and laughed as he once again dragged me towards the tall ride. We were the first in line and were quickly guided into our basket. The ride shook to life as we were carried a short distance.

The night sky was beautiful, stars dotting the sky as the new moon looked down at us. I smiled as I watched the serving tents start shutting down, leaving only the few lit rides as the illumination around for miles. I felt my friend sit next to me, taking my hand in his, gently as if not to frighten the scared girl that shadowed my thoughts. His voice was calm as he spoke, "I'm really happy you chose to stay," he took a breath, "with me."

I looked at him, a soft smiling playing on my lips. I nestled closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder, "I am, too. I really am." I closed my eyes for the rest of the ride, laying in the arms of the one person who I have cared for and I know won't hurt me. For I felt it in my heart, and that has yet to lie to me.