Firstly I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who reads my stories, So i came up with this idea at half two in the morning and just started writing. So i'm terribly sorry if the grammar or spelling is somewhat terrible. I did spell check it and everything! This chapter is short, because i wanted to get cracking on with Chapter two where all the good and juicy stuff happens. Terribly Sorry!:) Hope you like it!xoxo

I would just like to say that the Characters do not belong to me, Anything pertaining to the work of Stephanie Meyer is hers.

Summary

Joining the war had changed his life, not only for the short duration of his human one but also his immortal life too. Jasper never knew that joining the army would destroy not only his past but also his present when leaving the girl he loves behind and destroying everything. So when he comes in contact with who seems to be the same person will he let her walk away or will he let himself have the happiness he truly deserves? RATED M. Bella&Jasper Pairing!


"Over the years I had kept many secrets, told white lies that hurt nobody but myself and tried to shield away from the memories that haunted my mind everyday. Some of those secrets seeming somewhat detrimental to the vampire world as we all know it. Small things that some vampires longed for. Keeping those secrets, lies and memories to myself made it seem less real, like it was all simply a figment of my own imagination. Everyday though it grew harder and harder to hold it in and I knew one day, I would burst"


It was not often I could return home, everyday I was away I thought of only what I could return to. Thinking of the lovely home cooked meals, the hot baths and the way my wife would curl into my side as she slept. Her hair fanning out around her, the way her plump lips felt against my own. The way she smiled and the way her eyes lit up at anything we spoke of. I had began courting her after I joined the war and even so she remained faithful to only myself, not letting any other male be her escort. It was when I had returned home a second time that we married, I could wait no longer to make her mine. She was a vision in white, I remember my eyes stinging from the sight of my angel. I was Eighteen years of age when we vowed to spend the rest of our lives together, She was barely Seventeen. It wasn't long after, that again I had to leave her. Leaving behind everything I truly loved and cared for.

"Jazz, you're zoning out again..." Alice spoke, her eyes filled with worry. Taking her hand in my own I lifted it to my lips and kissed the cold hard knuckles that were simply a replacement.

"I'm sorry Alice, what was it you were saying?" Not truly caring about what she had or wanted to say I started to zone out once again. However still listening to make sure I wouldn't drop myself into it.

"I wanted to go to New York Fashion week with Rose, would you mind if I went... I don't think I should go though, you've been quite distant. It worries me!" Staring at her in shock, she would never give up something regarding fashion, was I being that obvious?!

"Alice my love, you go. I want only for you to be happy and if New York fashion week is what you need to do to be happy, by all means you go do it" I said, being genuinely honest about her going to New York... Not for her, but for my own personal gain I suppose. I Love Alice I really do, if it weren't for her I would never have learnt the control I have now. Although not as great as Carlisle, Rosalie or Edward's, I wasn't a liability anymore. Alice saved me from myself and for that I will be forever grateful. I can't help feeling the pull in my chest telling me this is wrong, that I am now damned to hell for what I have done.

She packed her bags almost instantly, jetting off not much later with my 'twin' Rosalie. This left me to my own devices. Emmett was hunting probably playing with the closest bear in sight, Edward stayed mostly in his room or on the piano he was so fond of. I get it, if I could constantly be with the object that brings me such emotion then I would, if not to please myself then to pass the time -He had yet to find his mate, and it seemed to be taking it's toll on him. He believed we were all damned and we had lost our souls. I disagree, not all vampires lose their souls as they're changed, it's what they do and their actions which determine if they have a soul or not. I for one do not- Carlisle was still working at the local Hospital and wouldn't be back for another few hours, Esme...The loving doting mother that everyone wishes they had was sorting through some blue prints on the dining table that was rarely used.

I walked up the staircase and headed to my study, the place I felt I could relax and just be myself to a degree. Sitting behind the mahogany desk I stared at the wooden treasury chest that stood below the flag I had hung on the wall. I never went into it, it was just too painful to see the memories. I would have them for as long as I shall 'live'...I felt it UN-neccesarry to look at them when I remembered every fine detail about them still. They plagued my thoughts, for the last hundred plus years.