Summary: After killing Otis to save Carl, Shane leaves the group, knowing that he has no place in it anymore. An alternate retelling of Shane's journey, starting from 2X3. There will be old and new faces pressent in this story, from the comics, TV show, and the Telltale Video game.
Author's Notes: I always wanted to see a story where Shane left the Atlanta survivors, he'd always said he wanted to, but never did it, stuff and things, kept getting in his way. I want to explore what would have happened to Shane if he did leave once and for all.
Disclaimer: The walking Dead and all its characters belongs to Robert Kirkman, AMC, Telltale Games and whoever else I'm forgetting, I own nothing, and if I did, I would have found a way to Redeem Shane...I think.
Warning: Rated T for language, violence, and many other stuff and things. Rating may go up.
"There is nothing easy about taking a man's life no matter how little value it may have. But when you get it done, you have to forget it. I guess I haven't quite got that last part down."
Chapter 1: Clear
The bathroom was covered in steam from Shane's shower, he'd been in there longer than he should have, he just...he just couldn't wash it all off. It didn't matter that his skin wasn't covered anymore in old sweat or dried blood, he still felt so dirty. He whipped the steam of the mirror and gazed at his reflection, he was trying to see if maybe his own eyes could tell him why he had just done what he did, but there was no answers, just guilt and shame.
He ran his hands through his still damp hair, trying to feel where Otis had latched onto during their struggle after he had shot him, his fingers run against a bold spot and anxiety, fear, and guilt instantly start works its way quick into his mind.
What had he just done?
He needed to cut his hair off, hide any trace of what happened tonight. It didn't take him long to find a razor, and just as he was about to turn it on a knock came from the other side of the door.
"Shane." Rick's voice came from the other side of the door, Shane froze up like a deer in headlights. "The others got here early, they brought all the cars, just thought I'd let you know."
Shane started to take deep breaths, he needed to calm down. "Yeah man thanks, I'll be out there soon."
A moment passed in silence and then Rick spoke again.
"Listen, brother I know things have been...tense lately between us, but thank you." Rick said to the closed-door. "You saved my boy's life. Again. I just...I just"
Shane couldn't take hearing Rick struggle to thank him anymore, it was just making everything worse. He threw the razor back in the cabinet, and tossed back on his old dirty cloths, he just couldn't wear a dead man's cloths. Shane threw open the door and brought Rick into a brotherly hug.
"I already told you before, you had the hard part." Shane hugged Rick as hard as he could, trying to bury all his feelings away. "So don't say thank you." He insisted. "Don't ever think that what you did was easy, because it wasn't."
The two men stood in the hallway hugging, neither saying a way. Rick was filled with too much gratitude to speak, and Shane...well Shane just couldn't bring himself to look his old friend in the eyes anymore.
Hershel had let the group stay in the house for the night, no one really knew what was going to happen next, Carl needed time to recover and Sophia was still missing. Everyone was on edge still, their near death at the CDC had only happened a couple of days ago, and now everything going on with the children of the group, it just seemed the world they were living in was getting darker and darker everyday.
Shane snuck into the room Carl was recovering in, luckily Lori and Rick weren't there at that time, he thankful for that one stroke of luck, he just take seeing them. In their place, a young blonde haired girl was holding onto Carl's hand, Shane recognized her as Hershel's other daughter.
She noticed Shane standing in the doorway of the room and blushed. "I saw his momma doing this, so I thought it'd feel nice for me to do the same while she was taking a break." Said the girl in a southern soft voice. The girl then gently placed Carl's hand down and stood up. "I'll leave you two alone." She then exited the room.
He stepped forward to Carl's beside, sitting in the spot Hershel's daughter had just been sitting in, he placed his head in his hands and started to speak to the sleeping boy.
"I know I promised to be here for ya Carl, but I...I just can't." Shane whispered to the sleeping boy. "I can't be here, I don't belong in this picture."
Shane lifted his head out of his hand, and took off his 22 shaped necklace.
"Ya know, me and your dad always use to talk about what we'd give ya when you got older. He wanted to give ya his hat, I wanted to give ya something you could still wear on a date." Shane chuckled softly then smiled, he brushed some hair out of Carl's face. "I know you're not mine, neither is ya momma, but that never stopped me from loving y'all like you were my own.
He never looked at Lori in any way before the world went to hell, she was like a sister to him, but after he thought Rick died, things just happened. He thought he loved Lori, thought that maybe the horrible nightmare they were living was a sign they should be together, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. Rick was his brother in everything but blood, he loved him, they were friends till the end, and it wasn't until Rick had thanked him again in the hallway, that he realized he couldn't be with Lori, she wasn't his, she was never his. She was Rick's and so was Carl, and really thinking about, Shane was Rick's too, he was his panther, friend, and brother.
Smiling sadly Shane said. "You're gonna beat this world kid. You're stronger than a lot of us." He then placed his necklace around Carl's neck and put it on. "This necklace use to bring me luck, but I think I've used all that luck up. Besides, I think it looks better on you anyway." Standing up, he looked down at the boy he thought of as family, he'd missed the kid, but his place wasn't here anymore. He ruffled Carl's hair and then wordlessly walked out of the room.
Shane had volunteered to take the first watch, Rick had tried to talk him out of it, saying that after what he had done, he just at least get a full nights sleep. Shane just lied saying that he still had too much adrenaline going through his body to sleep, Rick still wasn't satisfied, but let it go, the man was too exhausted from giving so much blood to Carl, he hugged Shane one last time thanking him, then left to go inside.
The sounds of Hershel's farm was peaceful, no groans or moans from walkers, just nature, the stars were bright and the air calmed his nerves a little, for a split second he almost forgot about the world he was living in, but when he closed his eyes, his conscience reminded him, and he remembered why he had volunteered for the first watch anyway.
Running to the assembly of cars the group had brought over when they had come to the farm, Shane quickly found the car he had loaded up on the highway, it had all of his cloths, some weapons and spare ammo, lucky for him, he had hidden all of it, so no one from the group had seen it bringing it over.
He jumped in the driver's side of the car and placed his shotgun in the passenger seat, he started up the car, and thanked his luck again that he had chosen a quiet vehicle, and not a loud hunk of shit. He didn't bother to turn his headlights on, the light would just alert the people in the house.
Shane rolled down his window and looked back at Hershel's farm, looking in the window he knew that Lori, Carl, and Rick were in. He looked longingly at silhouette forms of the family, he cared about the group, he really did, but the Grimes family were people he loved more than life itself. None of that mattered anymore though, he told himself he'd leave the first chance he got, and after what had happened tonight, he knew it was for the better. It would be better this way, Rick and his family could heal, they'd find Sophia, and who knows, maybe he'd be able to find them all again someday, after fixed himself.
Shane looked away from the window and started to drive off, looking at the disappearing form of Hershel's farm in the review mirror.
Nodding to himself Shane knew he was doing the right thing, he had done the wrong so many times that he had almost forgot what doing right felt like, he needed to get away from the group, he needed to...clear. Yeah, clear was the right word.
Author's notes: Well that's the end of this chapter, I've got some plans for this story, I want to take it places the show couldn't go and introduce characters that might have been looked over, but enough of that for now.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please review!
Catch ya later.