A.N: This is my first try at angsty POV's. Just wondered what else made Miyazawa hide her true self to others and, her other opinions about her relationship with Arima-kun. Kind of OOC. Anyways, review please. Type comments, suggestions or anything you want. Hehe. I'll wait, ok. JA!
Nande?
By: wadohui
~Yukina Miyazawa~
Ever since I first entered kindergarten, people have always only seen my flaws. Never praising me, never
acknowledging what good I've done to them. If ever there was the need to, they'd say, "arigato". Never
saying my first name. Not even my last name. To put it up, never even saying my name. Of course, my
parents were always praising me, siblings and, of course, my grandfather too. It's just that. It's just that
I needed to feel more than that. Sure, those people don't say nasty things about my family in front of me.
But, I just. know. I know and hear what they're saying. I could understand them. hear them. even feel
them."Those young imbeciles! Doesn't even know what marriage is." And so on. and so forth. I know
there was nothing wrong about my parents marrying right away. At an age not the average marrying
people are in. But. it's better than living in, right? And they raised me, perfectly okay. I'm always happy
and I have a great view of life. I grew up in a happy home with humorous parents and siblings. It helped
me brush away those unwanted feelings every now and then. But those cruel comments still, and has
always been piercing my childish heart. They were people whom I look up to, after all. Since then, I
started to make myself do what model children do. I deprived myself of the joys of playing with others of
my age just so I could put an end to this. to this. s-h-a-m-e. I hate to admit it, but it is, and I feel that
indeed it is. SHAME. From then on, I was praised. Words like amazing, wooowww and ooohhhh made my
life go round. They were music to my ears. Soothing me, calming me. I felt like hearing those words
would never make me feel my insecurities again. That I'd never have to look twice at myself. Never doubt
in what I have. It's something that makes me feel like I was above all others. Others as pertaining to
simple ones. As I may call, the 'lowly beings'. It must be something they call, PRIDE. And all of it
changed. Just like that. Simply put. Changed. By the one person that I'd truly change myself for. The one
person who uncovered me, and, well, accepted me as I am. Studious or not. Understanding me, caring for
me and. loving me. Not that fatherly or motherly or even sisterly love. The kind of love that makes you
know that, there'll always be that someone, constantly there for you, no matter what happens, until the
END.