3 years later...
The sound of Blue's screams filled the entire hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey had closed it off this evening, and iced up the windows so nobody could look in. Several other nurses were there, and luckily besides a sprained ankle from Quidditch match, and a case of the frog bumps, there hadn't been any real emergencies. Snape paced nervously back and forth just outside the doors, as Dumbledore and Professor McGonagal sat on the bench watching him. Snape had been furious when he hadn't been allowed to go inside after Blue went into labor. If it hadn't been for Dumbledore, he had a feeling he would have put a hex on that dreadful Pomfrey woman. Instead, Dumbledore calmly placed a hand on his shoulder, and told him to allow them to work and help his wife, that all would be well. Snape glared as the nurse tapped her wand against the windows, icing them up so the windows wouldn't be seen from. His dark eyes staring ahead, he muttered he wasn't so sure. Just moments before Madam Pomfrey had carefully guided Blue out of Snape's arms, as two other nurses aided in ushering her inside. Blue looked pale, and had practically been hanging like a lifeless doll against Snape since the contractions started. He knew he could help her, find a pain potion, or spell that would relieve her from this sudden and awful pain. One second Blue was humming some stupid Muggle song in their quarters as he corrected papers, the next she doubled over, holding her swollen stomach and screamed. Now it had been hours, and all Snape could hear was her pain filled screams echoing throughout the castle. Something was wrong, he knew it.
"Severus, you should sit down..."
McGonagal softly said, her large blue eyes worried. Turning, Snape shot a look down at them, unable to believe how calm they appeared.
"Something is wrong...I sense it."
Just then the screaming suddenly stopped. Snape held in a breath, before the door slowly opened. Madam Pomfrey was up to her elbows in slick blood. Blue's blood. Sighing, she simply shook her head.
"The boy was stillborn. I'm sorry..."
Snape felt that icy stone that had replaced his heart years ago sink. The last three years had been tolerable thanks to Blue. They had married in a small ceremony here at the school. Blue had been a good wife, clearly head over heels for Snape, and respected his distance, and lack of conversation most evenings. Still, she had been a breath of fresh air.
She continued working in Dumbledore's quarters, office work mostly, and saw him three times a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the grand hall. Most evenings when he didn't have classes or any meetings they would return to their private quarters where he would often sip on scotch and read to her. She had actually brought him happiness in a small way. She would never be Lilly, but she was kind, gentle, sweet, and probably the only person that could make him smirk more than once. The sex had been good, and both learned from each other's bodies. Some nights, he would lay awake and stare at her with curious eyes. She sure was something else, and he actually felt attached to her. Whenever he was in a foul mood, outraged at something, mostly the students, he would come charging into their quarters pacing and muttering under his breath. As always she would sit up from reading, and beacon him over to her.
They would sit together and she would rub his shoulders until finally he relaxed. Just this past spring they learned they were expecting. Snape wasn't the slightest bit surprised since they hadn't used any birth control potions since they began their relationship. Snape hated children, but figured he would actually prefer his own. Blue had been a good wife, and he knew she would be an even more amazing mother. For their relationship it had just been the two of them, and he saw how good Blue was with the children. Usually she came in whenever he was giving some of the students detention. Their heads down writing essays or cleaning the boards with their wands. She as always would make them giggle whenever Snape wasn't looking, or slipping them sweets with just the flick of her wand. He knew he would have to be the parent that kept their child in line, make sure they were welcomed into Slytherin house, keep up with their studies, and become a very promising wizard or witch. Just the other day, both laid in bed. Their record player filling the room with beautiful opera music. If it was one thing Blue loved more than anything in the world, it was music. Both were laying in bed, beneath the canopy reading. Snape was gently rubbing Blue's stomach, feeling his child safely kick within her.
"What do you prefer? A son or a daughter?"
Snape glanced over.
Blue stared up at him and smiled.
"What do you prefer, a son or a daughter?"
Snape gave a no nonsense smirk and rolled his eyes.
"Such matters don't mean anything to me, as long as it's healthy, and ready to make Slytherin House proud."
Blue giggled shaking her head, placing her tiny hands on top of of his much larger ones.
"What if he or she ends up in another house? Could take after it's mother and go to Hufflepuff, or maybe Gryffindor?"
Snape made a face.
Blue continued to giggle before Snape raised an eyebrow, somewhat amused at her expression and smirked before planting a kiss on her temple. That seemed like ages ago as Madam Pomfrey in just the matter of seconds informed him that he had a son, and that the child was dead before it could even take it's first breath. McGonagal placed her hand over her mouth, before Snape's frozen stare broke.
"And of my wife?"
His rich deep voice said. Madam Pomfrey sighed, before glancing over at Dumbledore.
"I'm afraid we're losing her. I tried everything I can do. She's going fast and is asking for you Professor Snape. Her aura is fading..."
Before she could say another word, Snape quickly hurried inside. Passing all of the empty hospital cots, he saw Blue laying in the one all the way at the end on the left hand side. Two of the nurses were quickly hurrying away with bundled up sheets, that were badly blood stained. Hurrying, his cloak flapping behind him, he made his way to her and froze right in his tracks. The woman Blue once was, giggling, vivid eyes, full of life and energy was completely gone. She laid back, her hair sweaty and soaked, her face sheet white, and dark circles underneath her eyes. He saw blood dripping and pooling from beneath her bunk. Staring at her, he saw her breathing was labored, and too far apart. Her face was slightly turned, and she was staring at the table where their dead son laid. Snape saw the infant, wrapped up in a blanket. It was tiny like a doll, and it's skin grayish blue. The child was dead. Breaking his gaze, he hurried over to Blue before quickly kneeling down beside her, unaware of the warmth of her blood soaking into his slacks. Reaching, he squeezed her hand which suddenly felt too cold. Slowly, she turned and stared at her. He felt he was in fact losing her. Her gaze seemed distant, unfocused.
"Did...you see him Severus? I want to name him Richard...he's beautiful...the nurses are cleaning him up. Did you see him?"
Heartbroken, Snape glanced up and saw that Dumbledore, McGonagal, and Madam Pomfrey were standing by the table which held his dead son. Knowing that Blue wasn't aware, he pressed her hand against the side of his face and sighed.
"Yes, he's perfect..."
Blue smiled weakly, before closing her eyes. She was still breathing, but her breaths were still labored and drawn out. Looking up, for one of the few times in his life, Snape looked completely helpless.
"I need someone to head to my lab, there must be a potion..."
Dumbledore sighed before walking forward, slowly he shook his head and met Snape's eyes. Looking outraged, Snape released his wife's hand and shook his head. In a frenzy, he hurried around to the table and looked down at the dead child. No, this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to get attached. Flashes of that terrible night in the nursery as he held his lost life flashed before his eyes. Taking his wand out, he pointed it to the dead child. No, he could fix this. He knew he could.
Nothing. He tried again, frustrated, strands of her dark hair getting into his face. He pointed to him again.
Nothing. Finally Dumbledore calmly placed a kind hand against his arm.
"I'm sorry Severus, but you of all people know there is no spell or potion to make the dead return. The child is lost. What we need to do, is see what we can do for your wife..."
Turning, Severus stared down at her. She looked even paler than before. Suddenly he felt guilty. If he hadn't of married her, he wouldn't have gotten her pregnant, and then none of this would have happened.
Everyone he touched died...why would this be any different?
Kneeling, McGonagal knelt down beside Blue and slowly hovered her wand over Blue's body. Sighing, he stared up at them.
"She's too far gone, there's only one option or we lose her."
Snape suddenly knew what she was talking about. Outraged, he shook his head.
Dumbledore sighed and gently squeezed Snape's shoulder.
"It's rare, but it's our only choice. If you decide against it, I would advise you to stay with her as she goes. I can feel it will be soon."
Feeling as if everything was happening much too fast, Snape rubbed his face completely disgusted. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. He knew he had used Blue, and had actually found comfort and love in some sort with her over these last three years. Now he was faced with a choice, something he wasn't sure was the right one. What would that give her in total? Fourteen years? Maybe less? It would be like prison, unable to escape from, forced to mourn their child. Would she hate him? Staring down, he thought of beautiful Lilly. He felt sickened that he had used Blue as a distraction, a way to keep eyes off him as Dumbledore and his plan continued. In a few mere years Lilly's son would be coming to Hogswart's. He originally planned on his very own child being a few years ahead, unaware of his father's plan, and to act as maybe some sort of guide and protection. He wanted to raise his child well, and just. He had felt guilty keeping this from Blue, but he felt that once the Potter boy arrived, as years passed things would go into motion.
Maybe, just maybe his child would aid in helping. He felt if he had a family of his own, maybe all of this wouldn't seem like so much. Now, all of that was gone. As quickly as Lilly had been taken, so hadn't his son, and now he was faced with a choice. He wasn't sure if he could take anymore. Staring at her desperate, he nodded slowly, hating himself for it.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes...just give me a moment."
McGonagal and Dumbledore nodded, stepping back as Snape sat on the edge of the bed. Gently, he brushed back Blue's sweaty strands of hair.
Slowly Blue's heavy eyelids fluttered open, she stared up weakly at him, still so unfocused.
"Did...you...see him Severus...is...he beautiful?"
Snape stared down at his young wife, before sadly smiling. Gently, he stroked the side of her face.
"As beautiful as the moon and stars my dear...as beautiful as you..."
With that, he leaned down, gently kissing the side of her face before knowing if he waited any longer, he would lose his nerve. Quickly, he stood up, looking completely disgusted.
McGonagal sighed, rising from her seat and began to slowly wave her wand in tiny circles beneath her breath. Snape refused to turn, instead he stared forward and watched Madam Pomfrey's expression before Blue thinly cried out. Within seconds, the tiny cry of a cat came from her bed. Turning, Snape saw his wife had been transformed into a beautiful black cat with shinning eyes. It laid weakly on the cot, sheets soaked with blood. The cat lifted it's head, before staring up at McGonagal. It's cry came loudly, as it stared up, it's eyes as big as glass. Snape stared, having heard of this only once or twice since he had been alive. It was the only way to fully heal a being. If the spell was ever reversed, the person would die instantly of it's injuries as a human. Blue was now destined to live the rest of her days as a cat, trapped in this body. Her beautiful eyes looked up at Snape before he sighed.
The cat's attention turned to the table. Gingerly, it leapt off the cot and up on the table. Madam Pomfrey gasped, and went to move to grab the animal, but Snape held up his hand. Slowly he walked over and saw the cat nuzzling the dead infant. Snape felt his heart grow heavy before the cat turned and stared up at it. Weakly it cried up at him. Snape closed his eyes before scooping the cat up. It faintly still smelled of Blue which was a mixture of honey and ginger, a perfume she had been using since they began their relationship.
"We'll say that she died in childbirth, nobody must ever know in danger of reversing the spell..."
He turned and looked at Dumbledore who nodded.
"I will make sure the child will share a grave with it's mother off the lakes. I'm sorry Severus...I wish things had been different."
Snape, ignoring the professors, grasped tightly onto the cat, feeling it's rich silky fur, and hurried away, cloak swirling. When he returned to his chambers, he nearly dropped her before feeling dizzy. The cat landed on all fours, before turning and staring up at him. Grasping his wand, he waved it into the air, muttering under his breath and made any sign of Blue, or their expected baby to vanish from the room. Looking down at the cat, Snape swayed before slowly sliding up against the stone wall and sitting down on the floor. The cat leaped into his lap, purring, before licking it's paws. Feeling a single tear roll down his face, he roughly wiped it away. Staring down, he gently stroked her head.
"I'm sorry Blue..."
A few days later...
Snape stood before the grave of his son Richard, and his wife Blue. Looking down, he felt sickened. The headstone was simple, yet beautiful and was surrounded by dozens of other witches and wizards from the school. It was a rainy overcast day, and Snape stood before the grave, which only held his son. The cat swished against his legs, rubbing against the bottom of his cloak. Standing there, the two men gazed down at the stone before Snape sighed.
"I'm letting her go, to roam the school freely. She doesn't deserve this life, whatever it is."
"She seems quite attached to you..."
Snape glanced down at the cat before shaking his head, furious that in a moment of weakness he had resorted to this. No, he should have tried harder to save her, not this.
He snapped, kicking at the cat. The animal cried out, hissing before running up towards the hills. The last few days he couldn't take the constant gaze of her eyes. He knew she was accusing him of all of this. Both Snape and Dumbledore watched as the cat vanished, before Dumbledore shook his head.
"You won't be able to get rid of her that easily, she'll be attached to you...she'll be a protector."
"Like I deserve it. I was weak and didn't want to see her die, so what do I do? I allow you all to transform her into that beast, where she'll be trapped. I didn't deserve a family, and this is what I got."
"Nonsense Severus. I can feel her aura, it's still very much there. Heartbroken as she is...she understands you had no other choice. Blue's destiny has shifted, but she'll still remain close by to keep an eye on you."
Snape stared down at his son's name engraved in the stone. How badly he had wanted him. Everyone, including Madam Pomfrey had sworn not to tell a soul over what happened. To the rest of the staff and students, they all received word that Mrs. Snape had tragically passed away in childbirth, the baby dying as well. Snape's turned even moodier than ever, and instead of taking time off to grieve, he returned to his regular class schedule almost instantly. He could feel all of the students staring at him, whispering and wondering. He gave more detentions in the last three days than he did in his entire career.
Even if a student so much as looked at him the long way he would slam his fists down on the desks and bark at them. He was taking points away like crazy, and after one dark glare at his first meal since everything happened, the staff knew to keep their condolences to themselves. Just another reason why to avoid him. It was tragic, but nevertheless his business. As for the Potter boy, he knew enough time would stand between now and then for the scandal to die down.
As for Blue... His eyes glanced up at the hills and sighed. He would someday makeup for this awful choice he made.