A/N: This interpretation of girl!Murdock comes from an awesome writer known on livejournal as somewhatcliche. I urge you to read her stories and let her know how awesome she is!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warning: Language, non-descriptive violence, attempted noncon (again, non-descriptive), and sexual situations.

Dropping the Ball

Murdock sighed, wiping the sweat from her brow. She had finally finished taking apart and cleaning her Sikorsky UH-60 piece by piece before painstakingly putting it back together.

Hell of a way to spend her day off, but she wasn't about to trust the job to the maintenance crew. It wasn't that they weren't good at what they did, but there was no way they could possibly be as anal as she was about the state of her bird. This machine had to be trusted to take her unit in and out of dangerous territory, and she'd be damned if she let even a single grain of sand threaten to keep this machine from working properly.

Wiping the grease from her face and hands with a nearby rag, she replaced her ball cap over her pigtails and stripped off the filthy coveralls, revealing her usual non-regulation garb of jeans and a t-shirt. She headed for hers and Temp's quarters. All this back-breaking work called for a little relaxation.

And the best way to unwind, in her opinion was to sink into a soft bubble bath followed by sinking onto a hard Templeton.

She was lost in thought, humming Mozart's Symphony No. 25 (in G minor), when a hand shot out and slapped the wall of the supply shack she was beside, causing her to stop and stare at the intruder.

It was someone she didn't recognize. He looked to be about her age with sandy-colored hair and too-small brown eyes stuck on a long face. Completely unremarkable other than the fact that he was nearly as tall as Hannibal and was reasonably-muscled.

"Hey pigtails, what's a cutie like you doing in this big old desert?" The oaf had the nerve to reach out and push a piece of hair out of her face.

Jamie had the urge to remove the offending appendage, preferably with a dull knife, but wasn't really in the mood to shed the man's blood. Perhaps later. "At the moment, I'm getting ready to kick your ass. Then I'm going home to my husband and let him know where to find your mangled body so he can have the leftovers… if there's any to be had."

She prepared to move past him, thinking tall, dork, and ugly would take the subtle mention of a husband as fact that she was not interested in pursuing any kind of relationship. No such luck.

He smiled and laughed, as if she'd just cracked the motherfucking joke of the century and kept her penned in between him and the little gray building. "Oh come on baby, don't be like that. Let's go in this little shed and I'll show you what a real man is like." His rancid breath made her want to puke on him, though maybe if she did he'd leave her alone. "I'll bet you'd look so hot on the end of my dick, baby girl."

Murdock rolled her eyes. Seriously? Were these the best pick-up lines guys had in their arsenal, or was this guy just uniquely stupid? Still not wanting to fight because, no matter how much this fucktard deserved an ass-kicking, she was tired and she needed her bubble bath, damn it! She tried one last time to get rid of him.

She hoped he appreciated the second chance, because she wasn't in the habit of dishing them out. "As… tempting as the offer of riding your itty-bitty dick is, stud, I think I'll pass. Now move out of my way before I take away any future chances you have of reproducing."

Jamie glared as a strong hand clamped down on her wrist. "I wasn't askin', sweetheart." The next thing she knew, he was strong-arming her into the stuffy building and locking the door.

A few minutes later a decidedly feminine-sounding scream could be heard by various people on the base, but no one could pinpoint the source.

Murdock was relaxing in the tub, staring blankly at the far wall when she heard her husband come in the front door to their nice-sized home. Base housing was usually sub-par in her opinion, but being married to the best conman in the world often led to luxuries she wouldn't otherwise have had access to.

She used her toes to turn on the faucet, adding more hot water to the bath as the sounds of keys dropping and glasses clinking washed over her.

Closing her eyes, she again shut off the valve and felt herself beginning to lightly doze in the steamy room. Jamie smiled lazily when the rattling of the bathroom doorknob preceded the smell of Face's expensive cologne. She opened her eyes an met the gaze of her husband. Or at least she would have, had he not been ogling her naked body at the time.

"See something you like, muchacho?"

Templeton returned the crazy grin before leaning down to kiss her. "Oh, I see lots of things I like, baby, but before I sample them I was wondering if there was something you wanted to tell me."

Murdock smirked, having an idea of where this was going. She decided to play dumb for the time being. "Actually, yes. I wanted to tell you that if you kept leaving your dirty underwear on the floor of our bedroom I'm going to start running them up the flagpole for the entire base to see."

"Har-dee-har. I was talking more along the lines of the summons I got from Hannibal. He had me go to his office where he told me that an officer was found in one of the supply shacks near the tarmac."

She raised an eyebrow, but otherwise didn't comment.

"He was missing a certain part of his anatomy, but refused to say what happened." He smiled at her, obviously not believing for a second she had nothing to do with the situation. "So… anything you'd like to share with the class, baby?"

Feeling her skin beginning to prune, Murdock pulled the plug in the drain before reaching out for Templeton to hand her a towel. He did so while avidly tracking the paths the droplets of water made across her flesh. He was such a horndog.

Wrapped in soft cotton, she accepted his assistance out of the porcelain bathtub before wrapping her arms around his neck. She leaned in to kiss him properly before pulling away. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about, darlin'. I'm sure I've no clue how that man lost his balls."

She left the confines of the master bathroom, leaving her husband to blink after her. "Hey… I never said which part of his anatomy he was missing!"


This is me basically testing the waters to see if you guys are ready for my "She's a Ranger, Baby" series. If you like, review, and if I get enough interest I'll continue with it. Thanks!